


Of Starlight and Deep Dreams...

by MizUnderstood2136



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-09 18:07:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 142,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10418085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizUnderstood2136/pseuds/MizUnderstood2136
Summary: Inquisitor Aurelia Trevelyan had been nursing a silent crush on the amazing Commander Awkward, I mean Cullen. They kind of danced around each other for months, until magic happened, literally. They finally admit to feelings and things progress from there. This is the ongoing story of how they learn how to love, and let go. Through good times and bad, they are digitally living proof that Love can indeed, conquer all!





	1. Tangled Dreams

Aurelia Trevelyan - Inquisitor - Human mage, sass master, all around good wench. Hopelessly in love with Commander Cullen.

**Aurelia -**

I laid there on the roof of the tower, staring out into the night sky. A castle. My castle. Inquisitor. No clue how things had gone this far. Fighting dragons? Check. Befriending Qunari and Tevinter alike? Check. Wanting to run away and hide daily? Check check check. Varric would laugh if he knew what I was thinking. He would stand there and tell me “I told you so, Inquisitor.” And he had told me so. Told me people would put me on a very undeserving (ok so I added undeserving) pedestal. He told me that some would be in awe, some jealous. He also told me that Cullen, ah Maker, Cullen was pining for me.  
Sigh.  
Why couldn't Varric just let it be? Cullen is barely comfortable enough to talk business with me. If I try and flirt, he gets all goofy and clumsy. And while I find it endlessly endearing, I don't know if I could take advantage of that. He was tortured by mages. For who knows how long. He watched the fall of Kirkwall. He almost hated me when I met him. Now? We are comfortable. But if I press matters… Will he resist? Push me away because of something I had no control over? I can never not be who I am. A mage. With a magical anchor embedded in my hand. Leader of the biggest force since… Maker knows when.  
Iron Bull tells me to just jump him. HOW am I to do that?! I've never done that. Ever. Damn Circle. I don't know what I'm doing any more than a 15 year old virgin. And I'm running the world.

**Some Hours Later -**

“Inquisitor?” a voice says, startling Aurelia from her sleep. She was still laying on the roof, her jacket pillowed beneath her head. The sun was just beginning to rise behind the mountains to the east.  
“Huh?” she mumbled, sitting up slowly, stretching as she moved.  
“Inquisitor… Half the castle is looking for you. How did you get up here?!” Cassandra asked. Aurelia chuckled, climbing to her feet.  
“I climbed the stones, Cassandra. There's just enough outside my balcony that I can get up here. To be totally alone.”  
“Well, we need you downstairs, please. Sera stole Cole’s hat again and Josephine is worried about something involving Orlais and a circus?” she paused. “Inquisitor… May I ask you something?”  
Aurelia sighed, “Of course. Ask anything,” she replied.  
“Why do you hide?”  
“Because I was raised in the Circle. We were kept in the towers, sequestered unless needed. The conclave? One of my first real trips out of the Circle. I passed my Harrowing years ago, but I never felt like a real.. Person, until all this. There's hundreds of people within eyesight every day. All day. I'm tired. And sometimes I need quiet and alone. And my rooms aren't far enough from the commotion to not feel it all. So I hide. Besides,” she grinned, “the view up here is unparalleled.” Cassandra looked around at that, and caught sight of the window into Cullen’s quarters.  
“Aurelia!” she yelled. “Are you spying on the Commander?”  
The Inquisitor shrugged. “I don't see much from here. I promise.” She fervently hoped that Cullen didn't choose that exact moment to prove her wrong. Motioning with her hand, Aurelia led the way to her stone ‘ladder'. “By the way, how did you get up here Cassandra?” she asked.  
Cassandra snorted. “Iron Bull standing on a chair on your balcony. He's very strong, Inquisitor,” she grumbled. Aurelia stood there processing that mental image. And try as she might, choking back the laughter didn't work very well. Cassandra made a disgusted noise and stalked to the edge of the roof. “Show me how to get down, please.”  
Aurelia, still chuckling, obliged. They landed on the balcony to see Iron Bull trying to make off with the small dragon skull the Inquisitor kept on her desk.  
“BULL! I gave you the big one! Put that back!”  
“Inquisitor! I was just, uh, polishing it. With my pocket.” he said slowly. Gingerly he put the skull back, giving it a last rub. “I'm going to go find Dorian so we can get to this ‘meeting' Josephine is insisting on. Daft woman,” he grumbled on his way out. Whistles followed his retreating back. Cassandra sighed and followed him.  
After Aurelia had changed, she made her way back to the hall. Walking by the throne, she poked the eye. For good luck. Or because it gave her a tiny bit of satisfaction. Turning she headed to the door that would take her to the war room. She pushed the door open, and heard a loud THUD. Then came the sound of armor and grunting as someone.. The someone she had just hit with the door, fell down the stairs behind the door. She rushed to close the door, looking down the stairs that she always forgot were there. There lay Cullen, at the bottom, in a heap of fur and armor. She hurried down the stairs, “Oh Maker, Cul.. Commander! Are you alright?” She reached out to check him, and he managed to catch her arm before she touched his head.  
“I am fine, Inquisitor.”  
She sat there, her arm in his hand. “Commander, can I help you up? I am so sorry! I never remember these stairs are here. No one ever uses them. Except, apparently, you. Where do they go? Are you able to stand?” she rambled. She hung her head. _Why must I sound like a 5 year old child when I talk to him_?? She thought. Sighing, she looked to him again, assessing his face. He moved into a sitting position against the wall and just sat there with his eyes closed for a moment.  
“Commander, you’re bleeding. Your head.. There’s a good size gash there.”  
“I can feel it, Inquisitor,” he answered quietly. She knelt beside him. “Cullen.”  
“Yes?”  
“I know, I know you don’t like mages. But your head, thats a bad gash. It’s bleeding all over.”  
“And?”  
“Can, uhm, can I help you? Can I heal you, I mean?” she asked softly, her eyes riveted on the floor by her knees. She heard him sigh, and shift, sure he was getting up to leave.  
“Inquisitor.”  
“Yes?” she whispered. His hand slid down her arm to her hand. Warm and hard. He grasped her hand and brought it to his face, “Look at me.”  She lifted her eyes to his. Barely breathing, she waited.  
He swallowed. “Please, you can heal me,” Her eyes widened, and she nodded. Lifting her hand, she held it above his head. Closing her eyes, she let the healing magic flow. He could feel the heat as his skin closed, felt the throbbing lessen. His whole body thrummed with her power, as she fixed the bruises and such from the fall. Ah, but it was invigorating. And so intimate. She heard him sigh, felt his body was whole again. Closing her hand, she pulled the magic back. Her eyes darkened as images flooded her mind, images she had never seen before.  
“Cullen,” she says.  
“Inquisitor?”  
“What is my name?”  
“Aurelia.”  
“Can you call me that when we are alone? I.. Well I spend all my time as the ‘Inquisitor’, Cassandra is the only one to call me by my name. Sometimes.. Sometimes I forget who I am outside of the ‘Inquisitor’..” she waited.  
“Of course, I can. Are you alright?” he asked when he saw her quietly sigh. She just nodded, barely suppressing the urge to flee.  
“Can you tell them I will be in in a few minutes? Please?” she asked. Cullen nodded silently, his body still humming from the healing. She got up and dashed up the stairs, disappearing out the door. He heard her head up the stairs to her rooms. He got up himself, and headed up the stairs to the war room. Cassandra was going to love waiting. Again.

**Aurelia -**

Does he even know what they really did to him? Ah, Maker, why did I offer to heal him? It was like the anchor made me able to see everything, see past those magical doors in his head, all of the damage to his soul and body. It was like reading the open book of Cullen the Commander. The ex-Templar who bravely walked away from a life he had lived for so long. And his mind. Maker! His mind was a warren of hidden, buried memories. Uldred, cursed evil mage. He did such horrendous things to Cullen and his fellow Templars at the tower. Made Cullen watch them all. Every horrific thing. I don’t even know if he realizes how much he has buried in there.. I felt almost dirty for viewing all that. I wasn’t invited and it made me feel like a trespasser. My stomach rolled  
Pressing my hand to my mouth, I ran for the garderobe. Dry heaved the invisible breakfast I hadn’t gotten to eat. After I got my body back under control I went back out onto the balcony. Sliding down the wall, I sat. I sat and cried, deep quiet sobs. For the pain Cullen was still dealing with. For his bravery in facing mages, even after he had been so abused by some. For all his lost friends. I sat there crying, who knows how long,  
“Aurelia?” I jumped. Dorian. Ah the infuriating man. I wiped at my face, trying to hide the tears. I could hear him heading for the balcony, making chastising sounds under his breath. “Don’t get up on my account,” he said quietly. I could only manage a nod. He sat down next to me, wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. Soon as my face hit his shoulder the sobs started anew. He just sat there. Quietly holding me, letting me cry. Long minutes passed, and eventually I cried myself into a quiet stupor.  
“I could feel you downstairs, Auri. What happened?” he asked.  
“I knocked Cullen down the stairs. I thought for sure he was dead! He wasn’t. And I offered to heal him. And he said yes. WHY DID HE SAY YES TO ME DORIAN?!” I rambled, getting louder as I talked.  
“Then, as I am healing him, his memories and thoughts flooded me. I saw all these memories of his. From his time in the tower, tortured by Uldred. And in Kirkwall, what Meredith did to the mages and his fellow Templars who rebelled against her. Maker, Dorian, he is in such pain!” I whispered. “He has seen such evil. Over and over.”  
Dorian reached his hand up and cupped my face, his eyebrows furrowed. “It’s the anchor isn’t it?” he asks. I can barely manage another nod. He grabs my hands. “Aurelia, you are forever changed. We don’t know how much yet. But this, you can never tell him this. If he wants to tell you, let him. But don’t tell him you saw the darkest parts of his mind.” I nod again. “Dorian, he doesn’t know most of those memories from his time in the tower are there,” I whisper. His eyes widen.  
“I think using the lyrium as a Templar, somehow managed to let his mind fracture those worst parts away.. It’s like they are ‘there’ but he doesn’t have access or can’t see them. Or won’t. Not that I could blame him. Maker, I am so glad Uldred is dead. I would be tempted to hunt him down myself and send his sorry ass into the fade. Permanently.”  
Dorian just shakes his head. “You are becoming so blood thirsty. Stop spending so much time with Iron Bull.”  
“Dorian, he is with you more than he’s with me. You can’t blame him for this one.” Dorian blushed. DORIAN blushed! My eyes got all big, watching his face flush, the red stealing up his neck into his face. “Dorian! YOU are blushing!” He sputtered, shaking his head and was at a loss for words.  
“Did you finally…?” I arch an eyebrow at him. He nods. I squeal and clap my hands. I leap to my feet, pulling him with me.  
“Dorian! Finally!” He laughed and hugged me as I jumped into his arms. “Ah this is wonderful!” I cried.  
“Auri, shush. The whole castle will hear you! Their jealousy will be crazy!” he scolded, laughing at my reaction.  
“Dorian! Weeks! Weeks and weeks I had to listen to you both dance around each other. It was ridiculous! And hilarious! But ridiculous more. Seriously! I was tempted to take matters into my own hands and tell Bull to ravage you.”  
“You were not, woman! You can’t even ravage the man YOU want, let alone instruct someone else to!”  
“My hang ups aren’t the point right now. You and Bull!” I left Dorian and went to my little liquor cart that Varric made sure was always stocked with all sorts of alcohol. I poured some heady, honey smelling thing into a couple little glasses, and took them to Dorian. “Drink, Dorian. To you finding the Bull of your dreams!” He laughed at me and tossed it back. I followed suit, and instantly started coughing. Dorian slapped my back, laughing at me some more.  
“You need to get out more, Inquisitor,” he chuckled.  
“INQUISITOR!” a voice yelled from the stairs. We both fell silent. Cassandra.  
“COME DOWN STAIRS NOW! WE HAVE A MEETING TO ATTEND AND YOU HAVE HELD US UP ENOUGH!” she yelled.  
“Coming!” I called. Dorian roared with laughter, and replied with, “No, she isn’t! But I will be later!” and ran out of the room to the sounds of Cassandra sputtering again.

**Later That Day -**

She sat by the fire, listening to the chatter of those in the hall with her. Everyone was enjoying their evening meal, reminiscing or discussing the war, joking around or enjoying better food than they’d eaten in awhile. Leliana and Cassandra were off in a corner gabbing about more “spy-master” stuff. Josephine was trying to teach Sera how to dance. Varric, Iron Bull, Dorian and Blackwall were trying to teach Cole how to play Wicked Grace. And failing dismally from the sound of things. Cullen was in another corner reading a stack of scrolls. She closed her yes and sighed. Quiet nights. These were the ones to cherish. Vivienne was off with some of the mages, teaching them hopefully.  
But still, Aurelia was restless. She glanced around, taking it all in. Her gaze came to rest on Cullen. He was so lost in his reading, he heard none of the shenanigans going on around him.  
She sighed again. Got up and headed out the big door. She walked. Just aimlessly. After a bit she found herself out on the battlements, above the cliff behind the keep. Startled, she stopped. Then she shrugged, climbing up to sit on the wall to watch the sun set behind the mountain. Brilliant golds and purples lit the sky, frothy clouds surrounding the sun as it bade goodnight to Thedas. She closed her eyes and made herself relax and enjoy the moment. But every time she relaxed she saw. Saw the things Cullen couldn't. And it broke her a little more every time. She had avoided him all evening for that reason. She didn't want to show him. Didn't want him to see his pain on her face. _Ah, Maker. What can I do?_  
She sat there and watched the sun disappear behind the mountain. Felt the calm of night fall over the keep. She turned to get off the ledge and stopped. There stood Cullen. In all his furry armored ridiculousness. Shoulder against the wall, one foot crossed in front of the other, arms folded across his chest. A fairly inscrutable look on his face. She turned and looked back out at the mountain. She didn’t know what to say. So she sat there all stiff and scared. Scared to say the wrong thing, scared to talk at all really.  
“Inqui.. Eh, Aurelia?” he says. She stiffened.  
“Yes, Commander?”  
“Are you alright?”  
“I’m fine,” she answers.  
“You haven’t seemed fine. Not at all. All day.”  
“You haven’t been with me. All day. How would you know?” she retorted, immediately feeling bad she was so snarky. She turned to look at him and he was just watching her, all quiet.  
“Were you crying earlier?”  
“N.. No. I got too close to Varric’s nug. You know I'm allergic,” she said with a shrug, desperately wishing he would believe it.  
“Ah. So his nug goes up to your rooms now?” he asked as he pulled himself away from the wall and started walking towards her. She scrambled off the ledge and scooted slowly towards the nearest door. Cullen just kept walking towards her, She hit the wall with her back and just stopped. Cullen moved to stand in front of her.  
“Cullen, why did you follow me?”  
“Aurelia, because I couldn’t not follow you. Are you really alright?”  
She looked off to the side, staring into the darkness. “I’m fine. I promise.” she whispered.  
Cullen shook his head. He reached out and wrapped a finger around her chin, drawing her gaze back to his. “Why are you lying?”  
“Because I can’t not lie. Please don’t ask me. Please?” she pleaded.  
He squinted. “No. Tell me what’s wrong. I felt something today. As you were healing me. Like this warm blanket covered my mind and, I , well I felt a peace I haven’t felt since before the Tower. Do you know what that’s like?” he asked. She shook her head, holding her mouth shut.  
“It felt like a sunrise on a perfect warm morning, waking up to the one thing you love the most. It felt like a loving embrace in the night. Like I was home.”  
By the time he finished talking, tears were gathering in her eyes. She closed them and sighed. One single tear escaped to run a lonely trail down her cheek. He brushed his thumb across her cheek, catching the tear. “I knew you were crying. Why?” he sounded strangled as he asked.  
She took a slow breath. “I don’t want to hurt you Cullen.”  
“Then don’t. I promise, I want to hear why you ran away from me all day. I want to know what caused that haunted look in your eyes. I need to know.”  
She nodded. “When I was healing you, the anchor connected us in a way it never should have. I think, because of the lyrium you take as a, as a uhm Templar, I think the anchor reacted to it. I linked with your mind, and saw things. So many things. Things I am sure you never wanted anyone to ever know.” His eyes widened as she talked. He nodded and dropped his hand.  
“I thought as much. It felt like.. A foggy blanket had been laid in places my mind refuses to go. It is hard to explain. I have nightmares. Which is why I sleep in tower opposite of yours. It’s far enough away from the soldiers they, well they can’t hear. Sometimes they are bad, sometimes not so much. I almost never remember them when I awake.” She closed her mouth again. She knew about the nightmares. Had for a while. She could feel the terror rolling off him while he slept. And those nights when they weren’t so bad? She was outside his tower door, in the cold dark night, sending him healing sleep. No one else knew. “I know,” was all she said. He nodded again. “Some of those nights I would wake and smell you there, like you had been sleeping next to me,” he whispered.  
“Cullen, please.”  
“Please what? Please don’t tell you I dream of you most nights that I don’t have a nightmare? That when you were lost on the mountain after Haven, that ALL I wanted to do was climb back up there and search for you? The moment I saw you I almost expired on the spot. And you, you just gracefully passed out on the snow. Please don’t tell you that for the first time in over ten years, I see a mage and want nothing more than to kiss her senseless? Because she makes my heart beat again and my soul feel alive?”  
She stood there in shock for a moment, Cullen had said all that.

**Aurelia -**

I stood there staring at him. Cullen wanted to kiss me? Me? Mage, inquisitor, clumsy me?  
What was wrong with the man!?  
Then I stopped thinking. I stepped towards him and put my hands on his chest. “Cullen.”  
He reached up, pulled me towards him and placed his deliciously warm lips on mine. Maker! His lips. On mine. Felt like fire that tasted like cinnamon and was in danger of melting my soul. My hands gripped his shirt, eyes closing and losing myself in the feel of his mouth on mine.

**\---**

Cullen pulled Aurelia closer, brought his mouth to hers and kissed her senseless. Heat pooled in his belly and he felt like he was kissing starlight. A heady feeling, having her in his arms. Finally. His hands stole around her back, drawing her against him. Her hands crept up and around his neck. She had been waiting a lifetime for this. After a few moments, Cullen pulled his mouth away, pressed his forehead to hers.  
“Aurelia. I am more broken than not. I have seen horrific things. And you are a blazing sun compared to all of that. I don’t have much to offer you, except myself in all my broken glory,” he whispered. She laughed, startling them both.  
“I’m a mage, technically an apostate now, who has a magical anchor stuck to her hand, no decent anything to call my own. What do I have to offer you, beside just my own broken self?” she whispered back, smiling.  
His mouth curved into a smile of its own, “Well I guess we can just be broken together?” she asked.  
“No, we can be whole together,” he replied. She leaned up as he bent his head, their lips meeting again, passion practically pouring off them. She felt lighter than she had in months, hot and happy.

“ABOUT TIME!” they heard yelled by a chorus of voices. Startled, they pulled apart and looked to see Cassandra, Varric, Iron Bull, Sera and Dorian standing below them in the courtyard watching and cheering. Well most of them. Dorian was off to the side, leaning against a wall and just nodding at her, a small knowing smile under his mustache.  
Cullen laughed, grabbed Aurelia’s hand, raising it to his lips. Everyone below them cheered loudly into the night. “Are you blushing?” he asked her incredulously. She could only manage a small nod. Her face was on fire. “Now everyone will know, a former Knight-Captain cavorting with a known Apostate…”  she whispered.  
“Pah, I am the Commander of the Inquisition forces. You are technically my boss as the Inquisitor. Templar, apostate.. Those don’t matter any more. Is this what you want?”  
She nodded again.  
He nodded back. Keeping her hand, he led her inside, through the keep back to her tower, up the stairs to her room, locking the door behind him.

**Cullen -**

Maker.. She's following me. To her room. Is this really happening to me? Did I actually kiss her? Aurelia… Maker. What am I doing?  
I led her to the top of the stairs and stopped. “Are you sure?” I asked her one last time.  
She stepped closer to me, laid her head on my chest and sighed. “Cullen. I'm sure. But.. I've never done this before…” she whispered.  
I was shocked. But why should I be shocked? Not every mage was like those I had met. I pulled her close and wrapped my arms around her. Just holding her this way, made me feel invincible. Even though she was far stronger than anyone I had ever met.  
“Are you even..?”  
“Ready? Maker, yes! I've been waiting for you,” she replied. I gripped her close again then stepped away from her. She grasped my hand and led me into her room. “MAKER’S BREATH! Who gave you that bed?!” I shouted, shocked to see the huge ornate 4 post bed sitting there. “5 of you could sleep there with room to spare!”  
She laughed. “Leliana told me I could pick any from Val Royeaux - this one.. Ah it was the grandest bed I've seen since I was a child. Those beds at the Circle.. They weren't comfortable. Or warm. Or quiet. This?” She walked to the bed, ran her hand down the nearest post. “This is beautiful! And warm. And quiet. And lonely. Care to help me change that?”  
I nodded, for she had managed to steal my voice. She walked back to me, leaned up and lightly kissed me. Then turned her back. “Can you help me with these ties? There's so many and I can never manage to get them all undone.”  
“Of, of course,” I answer, my hands moving to her back. So. Many. Damned. Knots.  
“I have a confession.”  
“Yes?”  
“When I found that bed in the shop.. I imagined you sleeping there. With me.” My hands stopped their task. “You what?”  
“I looked there.. And saw you sleeping, wrapped around me. It looked right. And the price made Cassandra huff at me. Always a bonus, that.”  
“You got this bed months ago, Aurelia. Have you..?”  
She nodded. “I told you I've been waiting.”  
I sighed. Kissed her head and returned to the task of untying her ..shirt? Whatever it was. Too many knots!  
Ah, she was waiting. For me. Maker, will I live through tonight?

**Aurelia -**

Every time his hands brush my skin, little frissons of heat steal through my body. I close my eyes and revel. Finally.

**\---**

Cullen finished his task, untying her shirt. She let it fall to the floor. He grasped her arms, pulled her back to his chest, his mouth moving to her neck. Light kisses, a trail of heat up her neck. She leaned her head on his shoulder, goosebumps racing along her skin. Closing her eyes she waited to see what he would do next.  
Cullen suddenly moved away. She turned, her hands moving to cover herself, cocking her head to the left, she just raised an eyebrow. His hands made quick work of his over coat, pulling it over his head and tossing it onto the chair. She watched as he removed his boots. “Stop,” she said. She walked to him, holding out her hands. His eyes fixed on her stomach. She chuckled and pulled him to his feet. Her hands moved to the laces on his tunic, slowly pulling each one free. She pushed the shirt off his shoulder, letting it slide down his arms to the floor. Running her fingers down his chest, she traced the scars she found there. She glanced at his face to find his eyes closed. Reaching up, she traced his lower lip. Hot, soft. His eyes opened and she pulled his face to hers, kissing him with all she had in her. He framed her face with his hands, holding her as close as he could, his thumb pulling her chin down, his tongue stealing into her mouth. She gasped as he pulled her close. Her breasts crushed against his chest, her hands splayed on his side, she let him ravage her mouth. Each stroke of his tongue made her weaker, heat flooding through her. It seemed like forever, standing there in his arms, his mouth slowly driving her mad. He slowly pulled away, scooping her up in his arms, carried her to the bed. He laid her there, her skin a stark white against the royal blue bedding. He laid next to her, splaying his hand on her stomach. She laid her hand on his. “Cullen?” she whispered.  
“Aurelia,” he whispered back. “I'm shaking. I feel like I'm 15 again, and you're my first…”  
She managed a small laugh, “You had your first at 15?” He nodded . “Well, at least you've had some practice.”  
“Nay, you're.. Well let me show you..”  
He moved away from her, moving to kneel by her legs. She drew her legs up to move them, but he just quietly shook his head. He leaned down and placed a light feather soft kiss on her stomach, smiling when he felt her sharp intake of breath. He places another kiss, higher than the first. Then another, and another. His hand moved up to gently cup her breast, his thumb roving in circles around her nipple. She stopped breathing, his hand stealing all thought. She closed her eyes and let the heat arc through her. His mouth found her other breast, his tongue slowly tracing her nipple. She gasped, “That's a thing? Your mouth..?” He just nodded and kept at it. His mouth switched with his hand eventually, moving to lavish the same attention on the other.  
Aurelia was trying to stay still but every touch of his tongue to her breast was like kindling to the fire raging inside her. “I never knew.. Knew this could be..” He leaned up and silenced her with his mouth. He kissed her, tongue dancing with hers, his chest against hers. She trembled beneath him, her skin as hot against his.  
He pulled away, his hands moving to the waist of her pants, hooked his thumbs there and began to slide them down her hips. His eyes locked on hers, his thumbs leaving a trail of heat down her body as they stripped her. He tossed the pants to the floor, and without looking at her again, he stood himself and removed the rest of his clothing. He sat on the edge of the bed, taking a moment to gather himself. Watching him, Aurelia moved to kneel behind him. She ran her hands up his back, around his shoulders and hugged him from behind. “You take my breath away,” she whispered against his ear. He shuddered, his skin awash with new heat and his brain practically melting out his ears.  
“Lay down, love. On your back,” he managed to say as he pulled out of her arms. She looked at him with that imperious eyebrow and complied. He knelt beside the edge of the bed and motioned her closer. She moved again. Settling on her back, she closed her eyes. He moved to open her legs and chuckled when her head shot up to stare at him. “What..?”  
“Shhh,” he said. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her stomach, another lower, then another. He could smell her desire, felt her skin trembling beneath his mouth. With every touch of his lips, she trembled a bit more. His mouth, hot and wet, stopped just below her belly button..  
Then his hand was cupping her. She stilled, willing him to move his hand. And he did. His hand moved to spread her, touching her in ways only she had. He shuddered to feel how wet she already was. His finger slipped just barely inside her, then traced a path to her clit, lightly rubbing little circles around and around it. Moaning, Aurelia covered her face. She felt like she had little fireworks going off beneath her skin. Heat spread through her, spiraling out from whatever Cullen was doing to her.. “Cullen! Please!” she begged.  
He smiled again. Moving his hand once more, he slipped that same finger back inside her, his thumb moving to rub her again. She started writhing on the bed and as he set a rhythm with his hand she felt it taking over her. Pressure, and pleasure, building and clouding her mind. She just needed…  
He felt when she came, her body clutching at his finger, pulsing and throbbing there. She cried out, her body pressing against his hand.

**Aurelia -**

I cried out, couldn't stop myself. It felt like I had been lit on fire. From the inside. My body throbbing and moving in ways I wasn't controlling anymore. I pressed a hand to my stomach, my body spasming and why hadn't I done this sooner?!  
After a few minutes, my body calmed. I opened my eyes to find Cullen laying next to me. I turned towards him and began to trace those scars on his chest. “Soo.. That was more than I expected,” I whispered.  
He nodded. Before he could respond I pressed on. “I knew what it would feel like.. I've read books. So many books. And of course.. Being a consistent student I tried things,” I rambled. I could feel my face flushing again. “But from you? A million times better and why are you laughing?!”  
He laid his head down on the bed, barely containing his laughter. “You studied sex, you.. Studied… SEX?!” he managed through the laughing. I nodded. He brought his face to mine, and kissed me gently. “You never cease to amaze me, Inquisitor.”

**\---**

Cullen couldn't believe it. Aurelia, studiously engrossed in books to learn about sex. The images she invoked with her words almost killed him.  
“I'm going to kiss you again, woman. Then I'm going to touch you and even more,” he whispered, kissing her again. She snuggled to his chest, feeling his heart hammering against her. Kissing him back, she ran her hand down is side, across his hip. His own hand grabbed hers and brought it back between them. “Not so fast.”  
She nodded. He pushed her back onto the bed, covered her body with his. She could feel his arousal against her thigh. She wanted to look. She wanted to run away. But the urge to look was stronger. She lifted her head just long enough to catch a glimpse. And all she could think was He is magnificent…  
He claimed her lips again, his hands moving to touch her in every way possible. They left tingles and heat in their wake, making her shiver even as she ached for more. His hand snaked between them to touch her again, his fingers rubbing her clit again. She gasped into his mouth. He moved a finger inside her, found her still wet and ready.  
He pulled away, just far enough to ask, “Are you sure?”  
Her only answer was to pull his mouth back to hers and her body pressing urgently to his. Using his knee be nudged her legs apart, and settled his body there. She pulled away, “Please…?” she pleaded softly. He took her mouth, his hands on her hips, and guided himself to her waiting entrance. Slowly.. He gently slid inside her.  
She stilled beneath him, her body adjusting to his welcomed intrusion. So hot and hard, glorious. He kissed her again, drawing her attention to his mouth, and plunged through her virginity. She shuddered under him. He held still for a moment, reveling in her tight hot sheath. She whispered against his mouth, “Cullen, more.”  
He needed to hear nothing else. She wrapped her legs around him as he started a slow slide in.. And out. Over.. And over. She felt like she was on fire, and she could feel the need pouring off of him. She had never felt so full, or whole.  
He buried himself over and over inside her. To the hilt, sliding back out, and back in. He had never been so hard.. Or so aware of his partner. So tight, hot wet satin gripping his cock, pulling him back in. He leaned up on his elbows and watched her face as he slowly drove her higher. Every stroke, she arched towards him. Her hands clawing at the bed, his shoulders, gripping anything to ground herself against the onslaught of feeling everything.  
Her breathing ragged, her skin glistening, heart pounding, she wanted that release so badly. “I beg you…” she whispered.  
“For?”  
“Everything!”  
He slid his hand between them, found her again.. She jerked beneath him, groaning at the feel of his hand. She reached for him, drawing his mouth to hers. She kissed him for all she was worth. Pouring months of pent up passion into the kiss. He began to move faster within her, drawing another gasp from her. “You make me crazy,” he whispered. He could feel his own release.. So close. She arched her back as she felt the pressure give way to wave after wave of throbbing mindless pleasure. Moaning, she gripped his arms, her body grasping at his cock. He moved through her orgasm, his body tightening, his voice hoarse as he groaned. He came there, buried inside her, her body still pulsing around him. After a few moments, tense brilliant moments, they finally relaxed, returned to themselves. His forehead against hers, he tried to breathe. He was also pleased to note, she couldn't breathe either. Her eyes were closed as she gasped beneath him.  
“Are you alright?” he asked her softly. She smiled, “I'm fine. More than fine. Brilliant. Oh my. I never expected….”  He laughed then. Her brows furrowed then.  
“Can I ask something silly?”  
“Of course..”  
“I overheard one of the tavern girls saying she wanted to.. ‘ride the bull’. This didn't seem like riding to me.”  
Cullen, the dear man, laughed then. Wrapping his arms around her, his manhood still buried deep inside her, rolled to his side, eventually landing her on top of him.  
“This is what they meant.” He motioned for her to sit up, she did and her eyes widened as she understood. He arched his hips just enough for her to feel how deep he really was inside her. She gasped and reached out to brace herself on his chest. A flush stole up her neck again, as she understood finally. She bowed her head, trying to hide how embarrassed she was. Cullen raised his hand, cupped her face, then slid it down her neck, between her breasts and finally resting on her belly. She moved his hand and laid herself down on him, her head pillowed on her folded hands resting on his chest. Taking a deep breath, she whispered , “Cullen?”  
“Yes?”  
“Please stay?”  
“You don't need to ask twice.”  
He rolled them once more, feeling himself slide out of her. He looked about, finally asking, “Do you have any towels or cloths..?” She laughed and pointed to the dresser near the bed. He got out a couple, threw one at her laughing face, and used the other to clean himself off. She watched with an arched eyebrow. He was well built, this man. Strong and well muscled, covered in a myriad of scars, and just enough hair to make things interesting. He finished his task to find her just watching him. He turned his back on her to get a drink, and while he was turned away she cleaned herself. Then, she got up and walked up behind him, hugged him from behind again, pressing her face to his back. He just closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the embrace.  
“Are you really here?” she whispered against his skin.  
“To stay,” he whispered back. Moving her hands he went back to the bed, climbed in, motioned for her to join him. She climbed in, kissed him once more. Then she laid down on her side, him cuddled up against her back and bum. And fell into a deep sleep, feeling completely content for the first time in a lifetime.

**Cullen -**

Maker, she’s asleep. With me. I'd never thought this was possible… I closed my eyes and reveled in the feel of her. The smell of her. And fell into a sleep of my own.


	2. Fragile Weapons and Frosty Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor tries to learn self defense and fails dismally. The Inquisition gets a visitor, yelling ensues. Entertainment for all!

When Cullen awoke early the next morning, he found himself alone on the bed. He looked around to find Aurelia sitting in the dark on the balcony, wrapped in a blanket. Staring at the sky. Wrapping the sheet around himself, he walked out to her.

“Why are you out here?” He asked. Her only answer was to pat the floor next to her. He obliged, sitting next to her. She wrapped her hand around his.

“Good morning,” she whispered. “Look over there,” she pointed with her other hand. He looked and there was a perfect crescent moon, cradling a very bright star. He sat quietly for a moment. “I needed to think. And found that in the sky. It's beautiful don't you think?”

He nodded. “What do you think it means?”

“I think it's just a perfect confluence of the moon and star. But what it feels like is… you're the moon.. Holding the star.. Me. I never thought I would have something like this, Cullen. The Circle was lonely and cold. I.. Being noble afforded me a few privileges, but a small solo room with a view and books of my own. Well, those didn't make up for the lonely. I heard stories of other circles.. Where Templar's abused their charges. Ours was downright boring in comparison.” He just listened.

“When I was taken to the Circle, within a couple years I was sure, beyond sure, that being a mage had cursed me for life. I read hundreds of books, lost myself in other people's lives. Dreamt about love and happiness that I would never get to experience. Then.. The circles fell. And I was swept along with the other mages. Being chosen to attend the Conclave was a curse disguised as a blessing.” She stopped and took a breath.

“When I first met you, I was completely terrified when I found out you were a Templar. But the more I talked to you, the more I saw how you interacted with everyone, mage or no.. The less I saw “Templar” and the more I saw you.” His hand squeezed hers. “I feel like this is a dream, Cullen.”

“No. You're stuck with me now. Besides, who says you're the only one who has had some life altering revelation? You make me feel alive. And whole. You make me _feel_ everything that I was drowning in hate before. You falling out of that rift at the Temple? Biggest blessing of my life,” he says. She turned and just looked at him. “What? Only you get to be mushy?”

She smiled and just leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder. As she leaned, the blanket she was wearing slipped from her shoulder, offering him a delightful view of creamy skin. “Are you naked under that blanket?!” A nod. “Sweet Maker. You will be the death of me…”

**\---**

Later that morning, after watching the moon set, and the sun rise, Cullen and Aurelia sat in the hall eating a quiet breakfast. They had made love on the balcony, quiet and sweet. Big blankets make decent barriers it seems. Aurelia was going to go do some training with Cassandra after she ate, then had to meet Sera. Probably nothing good coming of that, except a little fun and maybe someone losing some britches.

“Are you going to eat that?” she heard from behind her. Turning, she spotted Varric coming from.. Somewhere. He was good at that, appearing out of nowhere, from some unknown space in the keep. “This is my breakfast, Varric!”

“Yes, but Inquisitor…. Sharing is caring. Don't want me to starve do you?”

She snorts, shaking her head. Then she shoveled a large bite of her eggs, eggs covered with gooey amazing cheese, right into her mouth. Then she moaned something along the lines of “Mmmmgoodfood”. Varric just laughed. Dragging a stool over, he joined her and made deliberate sad faces while watching her eat. She pointedly ignored said faces. She was starving. She couldn't even remember if she had eaten the night before. Before she and Cullen had locked themselves in her room.

“So.. funny story,” Varric says. Aurelia stopped him by holding up her hands. “Varric! There’s more food in the kitchen. For the love of the Maker, please.. PLEASE go get some! I had her save you food.” Varric whooped and took off for the kitchen. Cullen just sat there with a really fascinated look on his face.

“Does he steal your food a lot?” he asked.

“Sometimes, but mostly he does it to annoy me. I’ve just had the cook make extra breakfast portions just for him”

“You have odd relationships,” he said quietly. “Have you really never watched me with any of them?” she asked. He just shook his head. “I tried not to. I felt like I was intruding when you were with them so I just distracted myself instead.” She arched her brow at him.

“Besides, it was just fun to watch from a distance. You have a very expressive face.’ She started to blush, the red creeping up her neck. He laughed when she ducked her head.

She went back to eating. _Men. Whhhy?_ she thought. Emptying her plate, she gathered her dishes and took them to the kitchen. Since it was after the normal meal time she figured she wouldn’t leave them for someone else to take care of. However noble her intentions were, the kitchen maid screeched when she entered the kitchen. “Madam Inquisitor! You are not supposed to do my work! We have talked about this!”

Aurelia just laughed and told her that she wasn’t royalty as she left the room quickly.

**Some time later that morning -**

Cassandra stood at the table they had dragged outside. On said table was an array of weapons. These weapons were things Cassandra wanted the Inquisitor to learn to fight with. In the event that she was unable to use her magic. Or was magically muted by a Red Templar.  
“Cassandra, this is pointless. I almost lopped off Iron Bull’s horn the other night when you had me throwing daggers. I threw it behind me. I almost hit his GOOD eye!”

“Inquisitor, you must have a way to defend yourself if you aren’t able to use magic. You cannot always depend on it. One day you will need a way out and your magic will not be there to save you.”  
“You can save me. Isn’t that your job?”

“Point taken. However, I cannot always be there to defend you.”

“What about Blackwall? Or Iron Bull. Or Cullen. Or, Maker forbid, Sera?”

“You are trying to sass your way out of this. It will not work. Pick a weapon. Not one you throw,” Cassandra sassed back. Aurelia stuck her tongue out at the back of Cassandra’s head. She looked at the table. Shrugged and grabbed for a weird stick. With a large metal spiked ball on the end. She had seen Krem using one. It couldn’t be that hard now could it?

Cassandra furrowed her brow at Aurelia’s choice. “Step over to the wooden dummies,” she instructed. Aurelia complied. She took up a stance similar to what she has seen Krem do. “What are you doing, Inquisitor?”

“I’m going to beat the pulp out of this dummy. I have named it Cassandrummy. It is now my mortal enemy.”  
Aurelia took a swing at it like the mace was a giant club. However, at the height of the swing, the head of the mace detached from the haft and flew through the window of the armory. Aurelia watched in horror as the mace head embedded itself in the wall not 2 inches in front of Iron Bull’s face. She threw the haft at Cassandra as he turned to see what was going on, an angry look on his formidable face. Cassandra caught the haft just as he spotted them. She pointed to Aurelia. His face got angrier. She looked at Aurelia only to find her standing there pretending to whistle and find sudden interest in her nails.

“INQUISITOR!” Iron Bull yelled. She jumped. He stalked to the window. “I NEED THAT EYE WOMAN!”

“I wasn’t aiming at you! I swear! I was trying to lop off Cassandrummy’s head!” she cried.

“YOU.. MISSED!” he yelled again.

“I KNOW!” she wailed back.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

“Cassandra told me to pick a weapon. I did. She didn’t tell me that one was defective!”

Cassandra sputtered, “It wasn’t defective! It was fine when I checked it not an hour ago!”

Iron Bull shook his head, made his way out the door of the armory. He came to the table and inspected the weapons. They all looked fine to the naked eye. “KREM!” he yelled.

“Aye, Chief!” came a voice from inside the armory. “Get your ass out here and take a look,” called Iron Bull.

Krem came out bearing the mace head. “Chief, this was very stuck in that wall. She throws good!” Aurelia just shuffled her feet. Krem started looking at the weapons on the table. None looked in disrepair, or tampered with in any way. He grabbed the haft of the mace, tried to put the head back on and saw the hole was almost too tight for the haft to fit back in. “Chief, you try.” Iron Bull took them from Krem and proceeded to fail getting them back together too. He looks at Aurelia. “Did you magic this?”

“Oh yes, I know all the ‘break the weapon’ magics,” sarcasm practically dripped from her words. “What is wrong with you?”

Bull looked closer. It looked as though the haft was never even inside the mace head. “Why is it that every time you pick up something that isn’t a staff, you almost kill someone? Namely, me?” he grumbled.

“Maybe I should train her to talk her foes to death,” murmured Cassandra under her breath. Iron Bull just laughed.

**\---**

Aurelia headed upstairs to change. She chose a simple outfit for the rest of the day. Button down red shirt, leather vest and pants. Lots of pockets and a gray kerchief around her neck. A fingerless leather glove on her left hand. Hide the sparklies. At least that was the hope.

Sera wound up nowhere to be found. Aurelia had her suspicions. Josephine was mysteriously missing as well. Aurelia took the quiet moment to go explore the grounds some more. She had seen a few loose stones on the drawbridge she wanted to make sure weren't going to trouble anyone. It gave her something to do, made her feel a little normal, at least for a little while.

She made her way out the gate and to the loose stones on the bridge. Nudging at them with her boot, she found someone had already gotten to them. Scowling, she looked about for another reason to not be inside where all the snarking and giggling were happening. Not her fault they weapons seemed repulsed by her very touch. Sighing she turned and noticed a lone horse and rider crossing the bridge. Looking back at the tower she saw no one there to alert, and made the decision to greet whomever it was. As the rider approached, she saw it was a blonde haired woman. Dressed impeccably, but smartly as well. Leather riding habit over leather pants. Hair braided in a crown on her head, big blue eyes. Why did she look so familiar?! Aurelia squinted, trying to place her.  

“Hallo, there!” the rider called. Aurelia raised her gloveless hand in greeting, her other one behind her back. “Welcome to Skyhold,” she said with a smile as the rider drew nearer. Shielding her eyes, Aurelia watched as the other woman stopped and dismounted. “Maker this place is far bigger than I thought it would be,” she exclaimed, those blue eyes big as she tried to look everywhere at once.

“Are you here for someone..? Or are you one of our agents?”

“Oh! I’m looking for Knight-Cap.. Er, Commander Cullen Rutherford,” the woman stammered. Aurelia raised her brows. “Ah. Well I can take you to him if you wish.”

The woman nodded and motioned for Aurelia to lead on. Turning, Aurelia headed inside. _Who is this mystery woman?_  echoed in her mind.

“So, what is it like working for the Inquisition?” the woman asked. Startled, Aurelia realized that the lady must have assumed she was staff.

“It's endlessly fascinating,” Aurelia hedged.

“Oh I bet! Mages! Everywhere!” she exclaimed. Aurelia stiffened.

“The mages have been invaluable. They helped seal the breech, and have been unexplainably useful in the infirmary.”

“Maker! I sounded horrid, didn't I?” the lady exclaimed, looking completely aghast. “I supported what you all have done here. The Inquisitor is a mage, even. I meant that it was fascinating that they were here and free.”

Aurelia nodded. “They’re just as happy to be here,” she said. They continued walking, handing the horse off to a stable boy. She lead the woman up the stone stairs, the woman exclaiming again at the size of the keep. At the top she approached the door to Cullen’s office. She knocked on the closed door. Cullen opened it, a knowing smile on his face when he spotted Aurelia.

Then his eyes grew huge when he spied the woman. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” he yelled, startling Aurelia. She jumped back, moving to not be between Cullen and the source of his ire.

“CULLEN RUTHERFORD, DON’T YOU YELL AT ME!” the woman yelled back. Soldiers who happened to be on the battlements with them were stopping to watch the spectacle. Cullen advanced on the woman, his hands on his hips. She executed a similar stance and stood her ground. Aurelia leaned against the wall to watch in avid fascination. “Cullen! How hard is it to write a letter? Or have a lackey write one for you?” she demanded.

“I'm busy. I almost never get a real break! If you hadn't noticed, I'm commanding an army here!”

The woman laughed. “Cullen it takes 3 minutes. 3 minutes to write a few lines that say more than ‘oy there I'm alive, see you whenever’,” she scoffed.

He threw up his hands. “I wrote you a fortnight ago, why are you so angry with me?”

“Because, you dolt, I haven't seen you in 10 years,” she cried. Cullen sighed. “I was planning on inviting you and Branson after things got a bit more settled,” he replied, running a hand through his hair. “How did you even get here?” he asks.

“I rode. My horse. Like you taught me to,” she growled. “But I didn't come alone. I left my guard out at the end of the bridge. I didn't know if an armed man approaching would be alright.”

Cullen sighed again. He motioned to his gawking lieutenant, “Go fetch her guard please, give him a room by the tavern.” The lieutenant nodded, and ran off for the stairs. “GET BACK TO WORK, THE LOT OF YOU!”

He turned to go back inside his office, spotting Aurelia leaning against the wall, covering her mouth but obviously laughing. “Oh Maker… You saw all that?” he looked mortified. Aurelia slid to the floor, laughter claiming her. She watched as he flushed, his face growing ever pinker. She was practically howling by then, tears running down her face. Cullen stood there, staring at her. Aurelia looked so alive right there. No haunted look on her face, no stress or fear.

“Why is she still here?” the woman asked impetuously. Cullen coughed and leaned down to grab Aurelia’s hand. She swatted it away and continued to laugh. “Woman, compose yourself,” he growled at her. She relented, grabbing his hand. He pulled her to her feet. She straightened herself out, trying to contain herself.

“Rosie, let me introduce you to Aurelia…” he started. Aurelia interrupted him, “My name is Aurelia Trevelyan,” she stated, holding out her right hand. The woman reached out her own and gripped it in a friendly shake.

"I'm Rosalie Rutherford. Well formerly Rutherford. I got married last month,” she replied with wide eyes.

“Ah well congratulations are in order!” Aurelia exclaimed, before Cullen could say anything else. “Would you excuse the Commander and myself for a moment?” she asked Rosalie. Without waiting for an answer, she gripped Cullen again and dragged him into his office, slamming the door behind her.

Cullen reached out and covered her mouth before she could talk. He could see the fire in her eyes. “That's my sister,” he said before she could move his hand. Her eyes got huge. He moved his hand. “My younger sister. I don't know why she’s here!”

Aurelia just smiled. “She missed you, Cullen.” She reached up and put her palm to his cheek. “She loves you, silly.”

He sighed, capturing her hand between his hand and face.

“I made a spectacle. Highly unseemly. I'm sorry,” he said.

“Oh no, that was the greatest thing I've seen in weeks. Aside from you naked, that is.” She just smiled at him. She leaned in for a kiss, her lips pressing softly to his. He sighed against her mouth, his arms snaking around her to pull her close. She wrapped her own arms around his neck, her mouth opening beneath his. After a few moments, she reluctantly broke the kiss. “You need to go back out to her. Let me go out first though. You need a moment to.. Compose yourself,” she said, chuckling. He blushed again.

“Maker's breath,” he muttered. Aurelia left him there, a smile glued to her face.  
Outside the office, she found Rosalie standing there looking worried. “Rosalie, let me re-introduce myself,” Aurelia started. “My name is Aurelia Trevelyan, and to everyone else here, Inquisitor.” Rosalie’s jaw dropped.

“You’re THE Inquisitor?!” she exclaimed. Aurelia laughed and nodded. “I had to see who you were before I said who I was. Leliana insists I be ‘safe’ when we have visitors. Never know who we can trust. Your reaction to the, uh, Commander was more than enough to convince me you you’re fine.”

“You. Are. The. Inquisitor! And I stood here yelling like a shrew!” She started to blush as well. Lots of blushing going on today, it seems. Aurelia laughed.  
“I won’t hold it against you, I promise. Would you like a tour of the keep? Or would you like more time with, uhm with the Commander?”

“Oh, I would love to see the keep, but could Cullen give me the tour?”

“Of course! He’ll be right out,” Aurelia replied. She gave a wave and headed down the stairs. She made her way across the courtyard and into the keep. She headed to Josephine’s office. Josephine was just sitting down when she entered the room. “Josie! Cull, er the Commanders sister is here for a visit. Could you find her a room and see if the cook can whip something up for her and her guard?” she asked quickly. Josephine stood back up. “Rosie is here? Oh Maker, Commander Cullen is going to kill me!”

“Whhyyy??”

“She wrote to me and I told her to come visit if he wouldn’t answer her..”

“Oh. Well. You may be right. Still, we must be nice until that event comes, aye?” Aurelia responded with a barely straight face. Josephine just nodded, and headed back out the door muttering to herself. Aurelia started whistling as she headed to her rooms. It was going to be an interesting few days!

**Later That Night - Aurelia**

I sat in my chair staring into the fire. Wrapped in a blanket, the chair being the last place I wound up after several fruitless attempts to distract myself. I had tried to read Varric’s newest story, failed. Tried to write to my mother, failed. I sighed. I decided to stop brooding. Dropping the blanket, I made my way downstairs to find someone to get me a bath. Josephine had finally gotten the big tub delivered. I found one of the pageboys, made my request and went back to my room. A few minutes later a knock sounded at the door, “Inquisitor?” a voice called. I called back for them to come in. A couple of men hauled the tub up the stairs and placed it before the fire. Then a bunch more men and women filed in carrying buckets of hot water to fill it. I stood there just quietly watching them, thanking them each as they left the room. After they had finished, I went and fished out a few towels from the closet. Rolling one into a pillow of sorts I propped it on the end of the tub. Then, wasting no more time, I stripped and stepped into the water.  
AH glorious Maker! Hot! WATER! It felt amazing. Beyond amazing. It had been too long since I had had a real bath. So, so long. I unbraided my hair, then reclined in the tub, submersing myself as deep under the hot water as possible. Laid my head on the pillow, closed my eyes and reveled in the soothing water. After a while of letting my mind wander, I realized the water was getting cold. I smiled and just raised my hand a little, summoning just enough magic to warm the water. After a moment, it was toasty warm again. I settled back down and relaxed again. I must have dozed off, next thing I knew I was waking to cool water and Cullen sitting in my chair watching me.

“Mmm, I must have fallen asleep. How long have you been here?” I asked. He just looked at me. He _looked_ at me, and I started to blush as I remembered I was completely naked in the water. “How was visiting with your sister?” I asked nervously. He finally said something.

“It was nice, I haven’t seen her in so long, but it was like we just fell into old habits. I missed you though,” he said. I smiled. “I missed you too. You just saw me at supper though.”

“Yes, but Rosie was so excited and talking to everyone I couldn’t enjoy you.”

“It’s forgivable. She is so sweet, Cullen.”

“She is. And she is very in love. With a great Arl. They were married last month. I am happy for her,” he said quietly.

“Cullen,” I whispered.

“Yes?”

“Why are you here?”

“I tried to go to my room but found myself here. And you were asleep and I just couldn’t bring myself to wake you.”

I warmed the water again, and shifted to sit up, the water barely covering my breasts at that point. “When was the last time you had a bath?” I asked. He arched an eyebrow at me. “Months ago I would imagine,” he answered. I pointed to the bucket I’d had one of them men leave..

“Come get some of this water, dump it and join me. Tis too wonderful to pass up. I promise.” He got up, took off his overcoat and moved to comply. I moved to the front of the tub to give him room, crossed my arms on my knees and just stared into the fire as he undressed. I heard him approach the tub. As he moved to climb in, I heard his quick intake of breath.  
“Wow this water is still warm! How did that happen?” he exclaimed. I chuckled as he settled his legs around me, pulling me back against his chest. “Cullen, I am a mage.”

“Ah, right. Magic. Well that is just handy isn’t it?” I nodded. He slid his hand down my arm and linked his fingers with mine. We were both covered by hot water and just kind of got lost in the comfort of each other’s arms.

After a while, I subtly warmed the water once more, and turned around in the tub, settling my legs under his longer ones.

“How are you feeling today?” I asked quietly.

“A bit frazzled really. Rosie showing up, prattling on about everything, and even then I couldn’t stop thinking about last night.” I smiled. I knew what he was thinking all evening, as I had caught him looking at me many times. I placed my hand over his heart. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it either,” I whispered. His heart picked up its pace, and he stopped moving. “You’ve made me think of some very inventive things today, Cullen,” His eyes widened, but he remained silent. Like he was waiting to see where I was going with this.

I ran my other hand up his arm, then trailed hot water down his chest. The rivulets of water glistened as he barely breathed. If I didn’t have my other hand on his heart I would never have known what he was feeling at all. I slid my hand further down his chest, pressed my palm against his belly. His muscles twitched beneath my fingers. “I read a book last week. One of the smutty sexy books Dorian hides in the library for Cassandra. I never knew that sex was possible in a bathtub. But look what I have here, a very.. very large tub.” Cullen coughed, his face starting to flush again. “You, ah, you read what?”

“I read that, if in a suitable mood, two people could copulate in a bathing tub. And, if done right, is most satisfactory.”

“Maker’s Breath, woman. You will be the death of me,” he whispered before reaching out to pull me to his mouth, crushing his lips to mine. He needed no further invitation, kissing me senseless, his heart hammering beneath my hand. As his lips waged war with mine, my other hand slid further down into the water, finding his cock already hard and so smooth beneath my hand. He shuddered against my hand, his own hands coming up to cup my breasts, hot and teasing. I moaned into his mouth, his tongue tangling with mine, and hot currents of need pulsing through me. I felt like I was flying, and falling, and I needed him so much. He pulled his mouth from mine, and told me to kneel in the water for a moment. Lifting my hands to the side, I complied, kneeling between his legs, my breasts even with his eyes, water running down my body back into the tub. He placed his hands on my hips, drawing my body closer to his own. He told me to close my eyes, I did. Then I felt a cool rush of air caress my breasts, heard him blowing. I could feel my nipples harden, my stomach muscles tighten. Then his tongue, first a flick, then a swirl around my nipple, then he sucked it gently into his mouth. Heat pooled in my stomach, as my head fell back, eyes still closed. His mouth abandoned the one breast, only to lavish the same attention to the other. My hand came up to cradle his head, wet fingers tangling in his hair. He pulled away again, placing a single kiss between my breasts.

“Open your legs for me, love,” he whispered. I complied again, letting him lead me. He slid one leg, then another between mine, my butt coming to rest on his thighs in the water. I opened my eyes to find his face close to mine again. “What next?” I ask softly.  
“Kiss me,” he says. I grasp his neck, bring my mouth back to his. He tasted of coffee, and sunlight, heady and addicting. My breasts brushed against his chest, and his hand found me under the water, a barely there touch that caused goosebumps to race across my skin, and my breath hitch. His finger parted my nether lips, leaving heat in its wake. He slipped it inside me, and I moaned into his mouth. He then used his thumb to gently draw a circle around my clit. I tensed, my breath almost ceasing. He drew his thumb around it again and I shivered, hot and aching. Then he touched it, a gentle rub, slow and easy. I pulled my mouth from his and pressed my forehead to his, my eyes closing of their own volition. Ah, Maker, the things he was doing with that hand. Who knew 2 fingers could make my mind nearly melt..? Make that three fingers. I moaned again as he pulled his hand away. He gripped my hips and drew me forward. His cock stood hot and ready between our bodies in the water.

“You want bathtub sex?” he asks softly. I nodded. “Take me in your hand and guide me into your body.” My eyes went wide when I realized what he meant. I put my hand back into the water, grasping him firmly, shifted my body and felt his cock slide between my legs. I closed my eyes as I guided it home, and sighed as I slid onto it. I settled there for a moment, adjusting to how full I really felt, still tender from the night before.

Opening my eyes, I saw Cullen's were closed, his face so serious. I brushed my thumb over his lips, his eyes opened to lock onto mine. He put his arms around me, his hands on my waist, and lifted me just enough to slide most of the way out me, making me gasp. Then he pulled me back down, his own breath shuddering from between his lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started to move myself, lifting my hips, only to push back down onto his cock.. Slowly at first. Excruciatingly slow, enjoying the rush of heat every stroke of his cock caused inside me. Eventually I picked up the pace, setting a rhythm that caused Cullen to breathe as heavily as myself. The water swirled slowly around us, our movements making ripples and small splashes. My breasts brushing his chest every time I moved, such a delicious feeling. I could feel that now familiar pressure, growing inside me. With every smooth slide onto him, I felt a little hotter, a little lighter. His head was thrown back against the towel on the side of the tub, his breathing as ragged as my own, his hands gripping my hips and urging me to move faster. His arms helping me, I began to shift my hips faster, guided by his hands. Grinding myself on him, stroke after stroke, his cock filling me over and over. Then he slowed us, enough to get his hand between us, coming to find my clit under the water. He began to rub tight little circles around it, making me twitch and moan in his arms. My brain felt like it was melting.

I felt the pressure building again, my body shuddering as I neared my own release. Mindlessly I begged him. To stop. For more, Maker, for anything.

I threw my head back and cried out as my orgasm took me, my body throbbing and clutching at his cock. He took my hips and thrust into me, once, twice, as I came, and he growled with his own release. I could feel him filling me, my muscles throbbing around him. He pulled me forward and my head fell to his chest. Still twitching, and throbbing, I sighed, “Oh my,” was all I could manage to say.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I closed my eyes and just rested there a moment, my body too spent to move anyhow. “The water is finally getting cold,” he chuckled, his chest rumbling beneath my ear. I swirled my hand in the water, heating it a 5th time. He laughed and called me a cheater. I just sighed again and said nothing.

Eventually he moved me to sit in the water as he got out of the tub. I had the extreme satisfaction of watching his muscles twitch as he moved to grab the towels. And my, what a magnificent butt he had, I tilted my head to look. I whistled softly, causing him to jump and give me a look. “Stop that.” I just laughed. He then wrapped one of the towels around his waist, sticking his tongue out at me.

He came to the tub and helped me stand. Honestly, if he hadn’t, I think I would have had to crawl ungracefully from the tub. My legs felt like they were made of wet leather. Soft and slippery, and completely useless. He wrapped the other towel around me, then lifted me from the water, carrying me to the rug at the foot of my bed. He stood me there, told me to not move and proceeded to dry my body. How I stood there while he systematically touched me, and didn’t dissolve into a puddle on the floor is beyond me. His hands and the towel left me all hot and tingly again. I just let him finish though, because it seemed the thing to do when a gorgeous man offers his, uh, services. He left me there a moment, pulled the covers aside on the bed and lifted me into it. I burrowed under the blanket, watched as he finished drying himself. Scars covered him, some small and some rather large. Like a story of his life, they showed his strength. He finally came to the bed, naked and flushed.  
“Stay,” I whispered. He nodded, and climbed into the bed behind me. We laid on our left sides, his body snuggled up against my backside, his arm around my ribs, his hand under my breast. “Cullen,” I find myself whispering.  
“Hmm?”

“You’re mine.”

“Forever..”

And I drifted off into a deep sleep.


	3. Puppies and Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor and friends found an awful surprise, and some cute new family additions. 
> 
> Fair warning - there might be some triggering material here, about children. Nothing sexual by any means but not nice either. 
> 
> This happened in a dream I had a while back, and it felt right here. Not something I like admitting to really but there it is.  
> Dark brains create dark dreams.. sigh.

 

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

 

As the weeks wore on, Aurelia and Cullen fell into a pattern of sorts. Going about their daily business, working to forward the Inquisition and help the people as much as possible. Spending as much time as possible together at night, whether just sleeping, getting to know one another, or other much more pleasurable activities. Cullen's soldiers improved every day, their training proving they were indeed in capable hands. Cassandra helped Cullen train the few ex-Templar’s how to fight against their changed counterparts. The red lyrium posed a problem and they needed all the help they could get.

The Inquisitor still went out exploring, closing rifts and causing mayhem in general whenever possible. She was met with equal parts reverence and distrust. But many flocked to their banners nonetheless. The Inquisition offered hope where the Chantry and Templars failed. Too busy bickering and finger pointing, they were still far too unstable to help anyone.

With the mages fighting alongside the Inquisition, they were now a force to be reckoned with.

Cullen's sister had returned home after visiting for a few days, with promises to return after things had settled a bit more. Might even bring their brother with her.

Things were looking up.

Or so it had seemed...

**Aurelia -**

I stalked angrily into the keep, throwing a glare and growling at the poor scout manning the gate. He squeaked, “Inquisitor!” and managed a half hearted salute. Dorian and Iron Bull were running to keep up with me. Varric was just walking along behind them. “I told you we shouldn’t have gone into that house,” Iron Bull whispered to Dorian. Dorian punched his arm, trying to shush him before I heard. But I heard. And remembered.

I rounded on them, yelling, “DID YOU KNOW WHAT WAS IN THERE?!” Iron Bull barely stopped before barreling over Dorian. He just shook his head, his own memory a little too fresh it seemed. “Inquisitor, if we had known none of us would have gone in, let alone let you go in first,” Dorian stated. I glared at them, barely containing my own hurt. “Go Away!” I growled at them, turning and running into the keep. I wasn’t even watching where I was going, and somehow ended up in my room.

I started pacing, trying not to think on what we had found in that little cabin behind that stupid hill I had insisted we look behind. We were looking for survivors of the battling between the Templars and mages. Or trying to find evidence of the Templar’s already being infected by the red lyrium. And we found a cabin, half burned. We figured it had been deserted, as the cabin was long cold. Neither Dorian or myself felt anything off about it, so I just walked through the door.  
I stopped and stared into the fire. Nothing would have prepared me for what I found. Several small charred bodies, a couple that looked to be human children and the rest were mabari remains. Adult and pup mabari. Dorian nearly ran me down when he came into the house to see why I hadn’t come back out. I couldn’t do much more than stare at those poor corpses littering the floor. There was nothing else there to indicate how the fire started, or if the victims were alive or otherwise when burned. I just stared at them. After all the carnage we had witnessed and been forced to partake in, this was somehow a million times worse. Someone’s babies.  
I yelled and grabbed a vase from the mantle, threw it across the room, watching it shatter against the stone wall. I saw red! Why would anyone do that? WHY!? I threw a candlestick, the thud of it falling to the floor fairly dissatisfying. Children! Helpless! CHILDREN! I threw a book, the pages flying wildly as it smacked the closet door and slid to the floor.

I could feel the rage burning in me, the helpless rage surrounding my thoughts of how we could have been there sooner, saved them. Stopped the heartless coward who burned those innocent babies. My hands clenched as I tried to regain control. My heart was hammering and it was all I could do to make myself walk to the bed and sit with my hands on my knees. I hung my head and breathed, trying to ease whatever this was that I was feeling.

Death followed me.

Like a faithful dog on a leash.

I could never escape it.

I had killed hundreds in this hateful quest to get to Corypheus. Granted they were all trying to kill me or an innocent nearby but I felt the burden of each life as it fell. And I knew before this was done, we would kill many more to save even more than that. But that small positive thing was almost too small to hold onto on days like this.

Burned children, cuddling their dogs in their final moments. I hoped they were dead before the match was lit. I laid on the bed, curled onto my side and gave into the tears. I could feel the shards of glass on the bed from the vase, but couldn’t bring myself to move. It was like a dam burst, and tears for every moment of fear and life I took vacated my heart. I laid there, for what seemed like hours, sobbing intermittently, eventually falling into an exhausted sleep.

**\---**

Dorian had gone and told Cullen what had happened. Explained Aurelia’s reaction to the scene they found in that house. Bull offered to take Cullen and a small company of men to investigate the area. They returned to that cabin, the soldiers searching the entire hillside for any information at all. Bull and Cullen buried the bodies of the children, covering their meager graves with stones from the hill. It was dirty work, but neither spoke until they were done.

“Children. Small ones at that, “ grumbled Iron Bull. Cullen only nodded, wiping his brow. He worried for Aurelia, and what she must have felt like when she found them.  
“Commander!” a voice called. He and Bull turned to find one of the scouts running towards them. “Come see what we found!” They followed the scout into a small thicket of trees, the man then hushing them and motioning them forward. There, inside a hollowed out trunk, were 2 mabari pups, no more than 3 or 4 weeks old, shivering and sleeping against each other. One was a stark white, and the other a mottled grey and black. They were down to skin and bones and looked near death. “What should we do?” whispered the scout.

Cullen took no time to think about it, he removed his over coat and laid it on the ground. “Bull, give me some of that jerky you keep in your pockets.” Bull just stared at Cullen’s outstretched hand. “I don’t keep jerky on..” he started, but Cullen cut him off, “Yes you do, I see you sneak it from the kitchen all the time. We’ll get you more, don’t be selfish!” Bull grudgingly handed it over.

Cullen shredded the jerky and created a little trail of meat from his coat to the tree. The puppies woke when they smelled the meat Cullen dropped by them. They got to their little feet and started nosing at the meat, and with no prompting at all began eating all they could find. After a few minutes, they wound up on the coat and Cullen scooped them up in it, careful not to squish anything. They didn’t even protest at their soft cage, settling down after just a token whine or two. Iron Bull shook his head at Cullen’s back, yelling for the men to gather up, they were going home.

**After Dark -**

Cullen took the sleeping pups in a basket up to Aurelia’s room. He sincerely hoped she wouldn’t be mad at him. Or think him deranged for thinking of this at all. He sighed when he got to the top of the stairs and looked at her room in astonishment. There was glass all over the place, the candlestick and book still in their new places on the floor. Aurelia was laying on the bed unmoving, glass littering the sheets around her.

Cullen placed the basket on the floor and hurried to the bed, his eyes trying to see if she was still breathing. He rolled her onto her back, and he flinched at the glass embedded in her cheek and hand. “Aurelia!” he whispered loudly, his hand rubbing the other side of her face. Her eyes fluttered open, confusion in them. She gasped and jerked away before realizing where she was. Who she was with.  
“Cullen!” she cried, before hurtling herself into his arms. He just held her, waited for her to talk, his hands stroking her back. She pulled away after a few minutes of just being held. Her hand reached up to her cheek, poked at the glass there. He moved her hand away and gently plucked it from her skin, grabbed her hand and did the same there. His thumb swiped away a small bead of blood that welled from the cut on her hand. She just stared at it numbly.

“I’m sorry love, for what you found today,” he whispered. She sighed and nodded her head. “Cullen, it was horrible. I’ve seen so much death, but those tiny bodies, I think they were too much. I couldn’t see past them.”

“Bull and I took some men out there and buried them. Searched the hill for any information but didn’t really find anything..”  

“I didn't realize I’d fallen asleep. Why didn't you come get me to help?’ she asked. He just shook his head. “I didn't know you were asleep either but I wouldn't have let you go back. It was awful, I'm sorry you had to see it.”

Aurelia sighed. Her face stung and her eyes burned and all she could see when she closed her eyes was.. _No, I can't think about it anymore.._ she thought. She looked out the balcony door and found it dark out. Stretching, she stood up and walked toward the door, to stare out into the night, not seeing much. Cullen just watched her. “I've seen so much death, Cullen. Every day, more and more. I feel like I bathe in death. It's.. Horrible,” she whispered. He shook his head and went to her, wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. She put her head back against his chest and closed her eyes. He kissed the top of her head and just held her, “I wish I could take this burden from you, love.”

She turned in his arms, burying her face quietly against his chest. Then she heard it, the slightest whimper of a sound. She looked at Cullen, “Did you just whimper at me?” He looked confused, then he remembered and laughed. He pulled her to the couch and pointed at the basket. Aurelia’s eyes widened and she dropped to the floor. “Ooh Cullen! They're so tiny!” she exclaimed, her hands gingerly petting the barely awake pups. She gently picked up the white one, giggling at its little whimper as it wiggled in her hands. She brought it to her face, nuzzling its little face with her nose. The pup nuzzled her back, pressing itself against her cheek. Her eyes were huge, and her heart hammering. She had never had a dog, let alone held one as a puppy. She looked up at Cullen, who had settled himself on the arm of the couch.

“Where will they go?” she asked. Before he could answer she picked up the second pup and curled them both in her arms. They curled up against her chest and started to drift back into puppy sleep. She looked back to Cullen, hope bright on her face.

“I wasn't going to take them anywhere,” he started. “Do you want them?” he asked, already knowing her answer. She seemed to light up the room, her delight was so apparent. She couldn't stop looking at them. Little balls of love laying asleep in her arms. No way was he asking her to part with them after this.

“I've never.. I've never held one before. They're so.. Amazing,” she breathed. “Can I keep them?” she whispered, not daring to look at Cullen. He moved to sit in front of her on the floor. “They're yours, Aurelia.” She squealed with delight, startling the tiny bodies in her arms.

“Mine! Really? For me?!” He nodded, watching her face. Like a whole new Aurelia sitting there, almost shaking in her excitement. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes bright and she couldn't stop smiling. Such a little thing, literally, bringing her so much joy.

He shifted, put his hand on her cheek. She turned and kissed his palm. “You have extra closet space. We can put bedding and toys in there for when they're not with you. The cooks in the kitchen have been instructed to save them meat scraps. And Harrit is making you a harness of sorts to carry them around with you while you're in the keep. And, since they're still fairly immobile, they can sleep with you tonight.”

Aurelia squealed again, “Oh I could kiss you right now!”

“Well, who could say no to that?” he chuckled, pulling her head to his for the desired kiss. Their lips met and she melted against him. He reluctantly pulled away. “I'm going to go get some stuff I scrounged together for them and I'll come back and help you settle in for the night.”

“You'll be here, right?” She asked quietly.

“You couldn't keep me away,” he answered as he got to his feet. He whistled as he left the room, leaving Aurelia alone with her new charges.

**Aurelia -**

I have 2 dogs. Tiny, brand new, adorable dogs. Mabari. I had only had dealings with the war dogs attacking us. They didn't allow pets in the Circles. And I was too young when they took me to remember if I had had any before. I couldn't take my eyes off them, all curled against me. Warm and soft and so small.

I don't know how long I sat there staring at them sleeping in my arms. Eventually, though, my arm began to protest its awkward position. I'll looked about and eyed my bed. I got up and slowly walked to the bed and used my free hand to move the blanket into a loose circle. I gently laid the black and gray one down, then the white one. They snuggled into each other and went back to sleep. She stretched again, sitting there staring at them with awe. Maybe Cullen could tell her what sex they were. She laid next to to them on the bed and just watched them quietly. What a day..

**\---**

Cullen rounded up the supplies for Aurelia's room, stuff he had had his men fetching for the last few hours while he bathed and fed the pups in the kitchen anteroom. He bundled it all back up the stairs, feeling lighter than he had that afternoon. Most of the keep was asleep, aside from the night watchmen. It was quiet and serene.

When he got back into Aurelia's room, he found her laying there with the pups on the bed. She looked up at him and just smiled this bright delighted smile. He smiled back and dropped his arm load on the couch. Blankets, some old stuffed unused toys the kids had more than willingly parted with, for their beloved Inquisitor. He went to her empty closet, pulled open the door. He arched a brow to find a few of his own shirts there, hanging on a hook on the back side of the door.

“Aurelia,” he says.

“Hmmm?”

“Why do you have my shirts?”

He watched her lay her head on the bed and try to cover her laughing. “You, uh, left one behind a couple weeks ago.. And the other I stole when I left your room the other night,” she answered, muffled against the bed.

“Why did you keep them?”

* _unintelligible sounds from the bed*_

“What was that?” he asked, marveling at her behavior.

“They.. They smell like you. Can.. I keep them for now? I'll have them washed and given back soon, I promise,” she said quickly, embarrassed.

He just sighed. _Never what you expect with this one_ , he thought. He unhooked the shirts and dropped them on her head, then gathered the blankets from the couch. He arranged them in the one end of the closet to make a little nest of sorts. Hoping that would keep them in and safe. He really didn't know much more about dogs than Aurelia did. His last real experience with them being before he had joined the Templars.

He looked about the room and noticed a weird round tube looking pillow thing on the couch. It was just as side as the door for the closet. A perfect anti-puppy barrier!

He went and grabbed it, then wedged it into the door frame. Turning back to the bed he noticed Aurelia just watching him as he went about securing the closet. “Are you alright?” he asked.

She nodded. “I think this is the finest gift I've ever been given,” she whispered. He tilted his head. “Really? Puppies?” She nodded again. “Aside from you of course. You're the first best thing to happen to me.” He blushed. She grinned. And all was right in the world.

Cullen helped Aurelia put the pups into their bed in the closet, careful to leave a spot on the floor for them to do their business. After Aurelia was satisfied with their sleeping arrangements, she went about the room turning off lamps and extinguishing candles. When all that was left to light the room was the moon through the doors and the fire and embers in the fireplace, she sat there in the floor to stare into the fire. Cullen went and sat behind her, pulling her into his arms. She went willingly, her body melting to his.

“About today..” she started. He stopped her though, “No. No more about today. Not now at least. Just be here. With me. And we can think about it tomorrow.” She nodded and just settled her head on his shoulder. They sat there in a comfortable silence, enjoying the quiet and each other.

“Aurelia.”

“Cullen.”

“Next time.. Don't run away when you hurt. I would give anything to help you.. Please let me next time?” he whispered. She nodded again, turning to look up at him. She raised her hand to caress his face. She drew his face to hers and kissed him softly. He sighed and returned the kiss. Closing his eyes he let her lead. She deepened the kiss, drawing out his tongue with hers, slow and sensuous. They sat there, entwined with each other, their mouths fused together, their tongues dancing in the dark.

After a few minutes, Cullen pulled away, reached out and pulled the blanket off the bed. He folded it up and laid it on the floor, then laid Aurelia back onto it. She watched him with dark eyes, her stomach hot, her hands trembling. He settled himself on top of her, could feel her heart hammering beneath his own. Putting his hand on her chin, his mouth captured hers again, hot and demanding. She closed her eyes and just felt. His body heavy on hers, his mouth, hot and passionate, and his heart beating against her chest. Her hands clutched at his arms, heat spreading through her as they silently kissed there in the firelight.

Reluctantly he pulled his mouth away, taking a breath and lifting himself off her. He moved to unbuckle her shirt, baring her creamy skin to his hot gaze. As his fingers reached the bottom of her shirt, he parted it and splayed his hands on her stomach. She reached for his shirt, untying the laces to loosen it. He sat up and pulled it over his head. She sat up and let her own shirt slide off her shoulders. He knelt there between her legs, his heart slamming in his ears, watching her as she looked at him. Her eyes roved over his face, down his neck, across his chest and to his belly. “Woman, you're going to kill me if you continue to do that,” he growled at her. She just smiled and shifted to a kneeling position in front of him. She took to untying her pants, then untying his. His stomach quivered beneath her fingers. She hooked her thumbs in the waist of his pants and started to draw them down his hips, her eyes staring into his. She felt him stop breathing as he was freed from the confines of the pants. Suddenly he grasped behind her neck, drawing her face to his, crushing his mouth to hers. She melted against him, her breasts against his chest, her hands on his hips, their mouths hot and wet and warring.

Her hand slid between them to grasp his cock, her hand wrapping around the hot evidence of his arousal. He shuddered beneath her hand. She began to stroke him, keeping time with their tongues.. Back.. And forth.. Each stroke drawing him closer to her, hot and smooth. He wrapped his own hand around hers, gripping his cock tightly, both hands stroking it firmly. He started to shake, the effort it was taking to not just press her to the floor and take her.. He pulled away, his breathing ragged, and the look on her face was astounding. She looked so smug, knowing how far she was pushing him. He removed her hand stood and pulled her to her feet. He then finished removing their pants with shaking hands.

He knelt back on the floor, pulling her down with him. As she reached for him, he shook his head, grasping her right hand with his own, he turned her around, so that her back was facing him. He wrapped his arms around her, his hands coming up to gently cup her breasts. He pulled her back against him, his legs straddling hers on the floor, his cock hot against the small of her back. She groaned as his hands began to knead, and pull, and caress her breasts, his hands hot and greedy. He bent down and trailed his lips from her shoulder.. To her neck.. To her ear.. Where he whispered, “Tonight something new.” Goosebumps flew across her skin, and her belly grew so hot and she could feel a flush spreading up her chest into her face. He pulled away from her body just enough to sit on his heels, his hands moving to her hips to guide her back against him. He opened her legs just enough to slide his cock between them, against her hot wet arousal. Not entering her.. Just tantalizingly there. She moaned, and covered her face. She had no idea what he was up to but it might just kill her if he kept it up…

He snaked a hand around her stomach, down her pelvis, to find her, touch her. He gathered some of her wetness on his finger, then drew loose lazy circles around her clit. She writhed against his hand, her breath ragged.

“Cullen.. Please!”

“Mmmm, soon..”

He started thrusting his hips, moving his cock against her, slowly rubbing against her, feeling as she got wetter with each stroke. His finger began rubbing a slow and steady beat against and around her clit. Her hand moved to cover his, her other one covering her mouth as she groaned. Cullen looked down over her shoulder, her hand on his, the firelight dancing across their skin. He could feel her quivering and twitching, her breath hitching over.. And over. Her stomach tensed and she cried out as she came, her body throbbing and pulsing, coating his cock in her desire. As she was still shuddering, he pulled his cock back and guided it to her, sliding inside her tight, throbbing sheathe. She gasped as he filled her, her body shaking. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his hands to her stomach, holding her still for a moment. She began to squirm, silently begging him to move. He was still adjusting to how tight she fit around him, hot and so silky smooth. “Maker's breath!” he whispered as he started to move beneath her. He gripped her hips, lifted her just enough, then began to slowly pull himself mostly out of her.. Then quickly sliding back in. She moaned again. He started thrusting, in.. And out.. Over.. And over..

Still slowly sliding his cock into her, he reached around her and found her clit once more. She whimpered as he started rubbing it, barely able to breathe. The pressure built, her body hot and heavy, felt like electricity crawling beneath her skin. He put his mouth to her ear, “Aurelia.. Come for me,” he whispered raggedly.

Then he began moving faster in her, his cock filling her again and again, his hand driving her insane. She began to shake, heat streaking through her body. She moaned as he drove her into another orgasm.. Her body clutching at his cock, shaking and shuddering in his arms. He groaned as his own release took him, his hips grinding into her butt as he drove his cock to the hilt inside her, her body throbbing and grasping at him, his seed filling her. Eventually she relaxed against him, his hands the only thing keeping her from melting to the floor.

They sat there for a few, allowing their hearts to slow and their breath to even out. He kissed her neck, and began to pull away. She stopped him. “Wait,” she whispered. She turned her face to his and kissed him. A slow, light, intimate,  hopeful kiss. He sighed against her mouth, kissing her back, wondering how he had gotten so damn lucky..

**A Few Hours Later -**

They had finally gotten into bed, after cleaning up after themselves, and checking the pups to see that they were sleeping soundly. Aurelia draped herself across Cullen in her sleep. They had slept that way for hours. As the sun began to brighten the sky, she started to shake in her sleep. Cullen felt her, knew she was dreaming about what had happened. He shifted on the bed, pulling her close and resting her hand on his chest, he rubbed her back and hummed a song to try and ease her through it. She made a small noise in her sleep, tensing in his arms. Gasping she sat up, instantly awake. Her heart hammering, her hands clammy, she looked around and found Cullen laying there just watching her. She shook her head and laid her head on his shoulder.

“You alright?” he asked. She nodded.

“Just dreamt about.. The cabin,” she whispered. He had figured. He knew the feeling all too well, his own nightmares nothing to laugh at. “You being here though, helps.”

“Good. You help me, too.” She smiled against his skin, nuzzling his shoulder.

“Cullen?”

“Hmm?”

“You're mine.”

“And you? Mine.”

And they drifted back to sleep, at home in each other's arms, just as the sun crested the mountains and bid good morning to Thedas.


	4. Sleepless Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurelia is starting to feel the negative effects of having the anchor. She finally confides in Cullen, hoping that sharing the burden would make it weigh a little less.

**A Few Days Later --**

 

**Aurelia -**

 

I laid there awake, listening to Cullen breathe next to me. He seemed solidly asleep tonight, peaceful dreams in abundance. I stared into the fire, waiting for the pain to subside. It seemed to get bad on days like today. I had closed 4 rifts, hard fought but won. But, Maker, did it hurt like the very fires of hell were trying to escape my hand. I closed my left fist where it hung off the side of the bed. Opened it again and winced as the burning sensation tingled up my arm. It was giving off a slight glow, unusual when I wasn’t near a rift. I think the anchor hated me. Or was spreading. But who could I ask? It wasn’t like this was a common problem. There weren’t mages with weird glowy anchors stuck to their hands running around everywhere. I sighed and gave up on sleep. I sat up and made sure Cullen was covered, my right hand brushing the hair from his face.    
Getting off the bed I reached for a robe, and made my way outside onto the big balcony. Full moon tonight, lighting everything with an eerie blue glow. I sat in the middle of the balcony, put my left hand onto my knee and just stared into the night. I wasn’t sure what was happening, honestly. Every day, every rift, hurt just a little more. We had done so much good up to this point, though, that I couldn’t bring myself to stop even if I wanted to. So many people saved was a decent counterweight to what pain the anchor might bring me. I flexed my hand again, closed, then open. Aaah, it felt so brittle. I held my breath for a minute, willing the pain to subside. It came in waves, waves full of hot razor blades that tumbled through my arm. Tonight was going to be a long night. 

I sat there for who knows how long, waiting and thinking. I wish we knew more about what the anchor really was. Corypheus’s explanation wasn’t much to go on. And what if it spread too far? At first the only pain was in my hand, but it was creeping up my arm now. Not much, just a couple inches past my wrist, but the shooting pain reached my shoulder. The pain after I had used it too much. I got up as I saw the sky begin to lighten in the east. The sun was coming.

I went to my dresser, grabbed the salve Dorian had had the healers make. Rubbed some into my hand and up my arm. Momentary relief but the thought was in the right place. I went to the closet and looked in on the pups Cullen had brought me. I was still trying to think of names, but I figured I had time. 

I moved to the other closet and pulled out some leather pants and one of Cullen’s shirts. Holding it to my face, I breathed his scent in. I pulled it on, then the pants, and slipped into a pair of knee boots. I wrapped a blanket around me and snuck out of the room, heading to the kitchens. The cook was there preparing some breakfast. “Good morning,” I said with a weary smile. She shook her head at me and pointed to the little table she had tucked into the corner. There was a cup of coffee and some muffins. Little chocolate muffins. The woman was a goddess. A paragon amongst her peers. I almost cried, she just huffed at me and motioned for me to sit. I sat down and told her “Thank you” at least 3 times. She grudgingly smiled at me and went about her work. I sat there and guzzled a couple muffins and sipped at my coffee. Ah, it was like liquid heaven. After a few minutes, the Cook brought over a tray with a small carafe of coffee, a small basket with muffins, a small plate of shredded sausage and a couple of cups. “Will you be taking the tray again, your worship?” she asked me, even though we both knew the answer. “Of course. Thank you again, you are amazing.”

I take the tray and make my way back to my room. I place the tray on the dresser and climb onto the bed. I curl up next to Cullen and begin poking him. He scrunched his nose after I booped it with my finger. I poked his chin this time, causing his hand to snake up and grab mine. Too bad I have two hands. I started trailing my free hand up his bare side, against his ribs, feather light touches causing him to squirm. 

“Mmph,” he mumbled into the pillow. My hand moved higher, nearing his outstretched arm. He captured my hand between his arm and his side. “Woman,” he grumbled. I smiled at his irked expression. I retrieved my hand and raised it to his head, brushing my fingers through his already tousled hair. Then I slid my hand down to just rest on his cheek. He opened one eye and sighed at me. He rolled from his stomach to his side, facing me on the bed, his left hand holding my right between us still. “Good morning,” I whispered.    
“Are you sure?” he asked me with a smile. I just nodded. “Why are you dressed already, and are you wearing my shirt??” I nodded again then pointed behind me to the tray on the dresser. 

“I bring gifts,” I started to say, but he interrupted me with his right hand moving to cover my lips. Then he pulled my face to his and gently kisses me. I close my eyes and lose myself in the feel of his lips on mine. He pulls me close, my body to his, as we continue to kiss. He was so warm, and all mine. He gently pushes me back onto the bed, his lips never leaving mine, to settle himself on top of me between my legs. My hands cradle his face as I languish in the sensation of his weight covering me, his mouth thoroughly exploring mine. His hands rub down my sides to pull up the edge of his shirt, then steal beneath to wrap behind me, drawing me tighter against his body. His hands were so hot against my cool skin, and I longed for more. I push him off me, his mouth reluctantly leaving mine. I sit up far enough to start to pull the shirt off, but he stops me, “Lift your arms,” he says. I comply and he slips the shirt over my head, baring me to his gaze. He just murmured something along the lines of, “hello there” and leaned in for another quick kiss to press me back to the bed. He moved to kiss my neck, his hands grasping my sides, then he kissed my collar bone.. Then my chest right above my heart, that happened to be pounding already, in anticipation of what was to come.

I closed my eyes and waited. I wasn’t disappointed, as his hands came up and each cupped a breast, thumbs teasing my nipples. Shivers raced across my skin, heat spreading in my stomach. Then his mouth was on one breast, his tongue sucking my nipple into his mouth, hot and wet and satiny.. I moaned as he gently scraped me with his teeth as he pulled off that one to move to the other. He lavished the same treatment on the next, making me twitch under his mouth. As he licked and sucked, his hands moved to my pants, untying the laces, to draw them down my legs. He pulled away to remove my boots and pants, tossing them to the floor. I laid there, looking at him kneeling naked on my bed. His scars a stark white against his skin, his muscles well defined, a light sheen of sweat on his skin, his breathing just a little ragged. His arousal very apparent, he seemed to be waiting for something. I held out my arms, beckoned to him to come back to me. He needed no further urging, stretching himself on top of me again, his cock hot against my leg, his chest crushing mine, his mouth claiming mine again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging to him, desperate for the feel of him. 

I raised my hips, a clear invitation. He reached between us, and guided his cock to my waiting entrance. I raised my hips again, urging him to hurry. He slid into me, fast and hot, filling me so deeply. I gasped into his mouth. He settled there for a moment, just buried inside me to the hilt, hot and throbbing, his mouth slowly devouring mine. I moved my hands down his arms, linking my fingers with his. He drew our hands above my head, stretching us both out, then he began to move. A slow, sensuous pull, sliding out of me completely, then thrusting back in. I gasped again as he began a rhythmic motion, slowly pulling out, swiftly thrusting his cock back inside me.. Over.. and over.. I wrapped my legs around him, clutching at his hands, my body shaking beneath his. Each thrust making me writhe a bit more beneath him, heat stealing through me, my body desperate for his. He lifted his head, watching me as he thrust again.. Stealing a moan from me.. Ah, Maker, he was going to kill me. 

 

**\---**

 

Cullen shifted their hands, grabbing both of hers with his left.. To trail his right down her left arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake.. Down her side, to her hip.. Then moving between them to touch her, his finger circling her clit, pushing fire through her veins. She jerked beneath his hand, gasping and writhing. He thrust faster, filling her again and again. His mouth claimed hers again, as he drove her ever closer. He thrust once more.. His hand relentlessly driving her crazy, and she moaned into his mouth. Heat flooded through her, her back arching as lights danced behind her eyes. Her body shuddering, throbbing and clutching at his cock, her legs gripping him tightly. He groaned, gave a final thrust, tensing and shuddering on top of her, his own release taking him, his mouth leaving hers as he pressed his head into her shoulder. His body was trembling, his own breathing ragged and heavy. She pulled her arms away from his now lax hand, wrapped them around him and held him as they came down from the high they had just given each other. 

As his heart hammered in his ears, he sighed against her skin. He placed a small kiss on her shoulder then lifted his head to look into her eyes. “Now it’s a good morning,” he said with a smile. She smiled back, pulling his face to hers, kissing him gently. He kissed her back, then lifted himself off of her. He rolled onto his back next to her, his arm moving to his forehead, taking a deep breath. “Are you alright?” he asked her quietly. She rolled onto her side to face him. 

 

**Aurelia -**

 

I contemplated not telling him, mostly because he had enough on his plate. But wasn’t this what relationships were about? Sharing the good and the bad? The worry and doubt and love and life? Giving.. And taking. 

“I didn’t sleep much last night,” I started, closing my eyes. He just listened. “I think the anchor is spreading, Cullen,” I whispered. And I waited. I felt him shift on the bed and take my left hand in his. He lifted it to his lips. I opened my eyes to find him watching me. “It hurts more sometimes. Especially if I close too many rifts too close together. And the pain feels like it’s edging up my arm. Not much, just a couple inches higher than when I first got the mark.” 

“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked.

“Because I wasn’t sure. I’m still not really. No one knows anything about it, it’s not like I can go find an expert to tell me what is happening. And it didn’t start getting irritating until recently.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his face unreadable.

“Because you have enough to deal with. Nightmares, and me, and your training the forces, and missions and it seems like a never ending line of duties for us both. I didn’t want to burden you more than you already are. And because I hate making you worry,” I answered quietly. “Because you matter and I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t bear to hurt you.”

“Ah. Well I have news for you. You matter too, and carrying that alone isn’t necessary now that you have me. And you do, have me, that is. One hundred percent. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He gathered me in his arms, and I pressed my face into his neck. Breathing his scent in, I just laid there in his arms. “Cullen, you amaze me. Every day,” I say against his skin. I feel myself start to drift off. “Mmm, hold me,” I whisper. He pulls me closer and kisses my head. And I fell into a blissful sleep, after more than 2 days awake. 

 

**Later That Night -**

 

She awoke as the sun was setting. Rolling over she looked around the room. The fire was out and she was alone. But she felt more rested than she had in days. She sat up and looked into the closet, but the pups weren’t there. Stretching, she moved to get up. And heard her stomach growl. Loudly. She rubbed it and noted the muffins and coffee were gone, in their place a folded note. 

_ Love - Come downstairs when you wake up. I threatened privy duty to anyone who disturbed you today. That included a threat to Dorian and Varric. You are welcome. I took the pups with me, to my office. Maker help me, I don’t know how I will get anything done with them there but you need sleep more than I need sanity. I’ll be thinking of you. I hope you rested well. _

_ Always yours, _

_ Cullen _

She sighed. And rubbed her mouth. Ah the man was wonderful. She got dressed in a simple white button down shirt and the same leather pants from that morning, which she found nicely folded on the couch. Slipping on her boots, she felt a little dizzy. Putting a hand to her head, she got up and slowly made her way down the stairs. She reached the landing, opened the door, to find everyone sitting in the hall eating quietly. All eyes turned to watch her as she slowly made her way through the hall to the tables. Cullen got up and rushed to her. “Are you alright?” he asked, brows furrowed. 

She just nodded and mumbled about starving. He led her to the table, gave her his chair and motioned for someone to bring her a plate of food. She took a drink of the honey mead then feasted. She didn’t even stop to look at what she was eating, just knew that she was starving beyond reason. After some time, 2 and a half plate fulls, and 3 glasses of mead, she finally felt sated. By then, Varric and Cullen were all that remained with her there. Cullen was feeding the pups and Varric was writing something. 

“So did I miss anything important today?” she asked eventually. Cullen shrugged and said, “Nothing much really. Dorian and Josephine went to Val Royeaux for some books we didn't have here. They came back with books, at least a ton of fabric, and a whole treasure trove of trinkets for your pups.” She perked up at that. He handed her the white one. “You really ought to name them, you know. Calling them ‘white' or ‘gray' doesn't work well. I had Master Dennet take a look.. Your white one is a male and the gray one is female. And from the looks of them definitely siblings. Not that I doubted that part.” 

She snuggled the pup in her hands. “A ‘him’ huh? I'll think about names today. You know, a few weeks ago I got a lesson on Fen’Harel from Solas.. The Dread Wolf.” She nuzzled the little white pup. “Would you like to be named Fen’Harel. You can grow up and take over the world!”  The pup snuffled in her face, licking her nose. She laughed, “I guess he approves! Fen, welcome to the Inquisition!”

“How about this little lady?” asked Cullen, holding her up for my perusal. Not like Aurelia hadn’t looked at her a hundred times a day. She was just so… damn majestic even for a tiny little pup. Graceful in her clumsiness. “Lady.. Lady Gray?” she tried out the name, nodding because it sounded right for the little pup. Cullen nodded thoughtfully. “Suits her. Do you have any plans for the evening?” he asked her. She shook her head, it was too late in the evening to really do much of consequence anyways.    
“Then may I have your company?” he asked. She raised an eyebrow. “Humor me, Inquisitor.”

She got up, still clutching Fen’Harel. Cullen did the same, holding Lady Gray against his chest, offering Aurelia his other arm. She slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow and let him lead her from the hall. 

He took her to the door that led to the garden. “Cullen, it’s dark out there. What are you doing?”

“Shh just wait and see,” he admonished. He opened the outer door, and Aurelia gasped. There were little glass lanterns hung from trees, and attached to the pillars, hung from little garden poles, illuminating the entire space. They looked like little stars hanging in the garden. She walked out ahead of Cullen, her gaze drawn everywhere, trying to see it all. Above them the night sky was inky and black, with very few stars in appearance. The garden more than made up for it. Over in the gazebo, there were more lanterns, hanging above the table set up to play a game of Wicked Grace. A basket with blankets was next to the table, and a wine bottle with a few glasses were on the table. 

“Would you care for a game?” Cullen asked her, grinning at the look on her face. She squinted at him, “Who helped you with this,” she asked suspiciously. He laughed, “Varric! He said you should be ‘Aurelia’ sometimes. And after today, I figured you could use some non-Inquisitor fun. And I offered incentive to some of the scouts in the keep to guard the doors. We have the garden to ourselves.” She nodded and let him lead her to the table. She noted that the two usual chairs had been replaced by a larger single chair, and smiled. Cullen took Fen from her hands, and put both sleepy pups into the basket, watching a moment while they did a little snuffling before laying down. He went to the big chair, grabbed an extra blanket that was sitting on it, sat down himself and patted the seat next to him. She willingly went, snuggled up next to him as he covered them both in the blanket. 

“You're not wearing your breastplate,” she noted, her hand on his chest. He nodded, “I don't think I need it tonight.” He moved to scoot the game board towards them, but she stopped him. 

“Wait. Can we just sit here for now? Enjoy the moment, and just.. Be Aurelia and Cullen..?” she asked quietly.

“Of course.” She laid her head on his shoulder, her hand over his heart, and just soaked it in. The garden was this beautiful fantasy land, covered in a blanket of quiet shadow. His heart beat steadily under her hand, his arm around her warm. She sighed.

“What happens when this is all over?” she asked. He thought a moment. 

“Until recently, I never thought beyond what we're doing now. But.. Since you.. I have hopes. Which is more than I had a year ago,” he answered quietly.

“What kind of hopes?”

“The kind where when this is done, we.. You and I.. Can have a life together. A home. Maybe more.”

“I like those hopes… Can I add to them?” 

“Of.. of course.”

“When, not if, we come through this, together.. I want forever, Cullen. I never wanted  _ forever _ before.. I want it with you. I want your mornings, and your nights. I want all of it. I want all of it.. But only with you.” He went still behind her. She looked up to find him bowing his head with his eyes closed, barely breathing. “Cullen?”

“Yes,” came the low whisper. “Can we have forever?” 

He pulled her up across his lap, bringing her face even with his, gazed into her eyes and said, “You can have every forever if that’s what you want,” then brought her face to his, kissing her gently under the twinkling lanterns. She closed her eyes and let herself drown in the taste of him. He drew his face back a bit, watched her face as she opened her eyes to look back at him. She drew her hand up, traced her thumb down the scar above his lip. Then she kissed it, a barely there touch of her lips to his warm skin. 

As she leaned in to kiss him again, a slight breeze rustled through the garden, carrying the moist scent of rain. Her eyes widened, she kissed him quick then got off his lap. She removed her boots then walked out into the garden as the first raindrops fell. Cullen watched her raise her arms and face to the sky, close her eyes and delight spread across her face as rain fell on her. A light warm rain, it fell softly, barely sounding against the leaves on the trees and the stones in the garden.    
Cullen just sat there, watching as she turned in slow circles, obviously enjoying the rain. She laughed and ran back to him, grabbing his hands and pulling him to his feet. He shook his head and she growled at him. Rolling his eyes, he removed his own boots and followed her out into the rain. She laughed again, a look of utter delight lighting her face. She grabbed his hands again, entwining her fingers with his, drawing his arms behind her back, her chest to his, looking up into his face as the rain fell around them. “Cullen. Kiss me in the rain,” she said, smiling up at him impishly.    
“Oh? I think I can do that,” he said, before stooping down to capture her mouth. She opened hers under his, allowing his tongue to glide against hers. He managed to capture both of her hands in his left, bringing his right up to cradle her face, as his mouth devoured hers. The rain started to fall harder, soaking their heads as they just stood there engrossed in each other. Cullen pulled away, “Maybe we should take this inside?” 

She smiled and just shook her head. “Didn’t you say we had the garden to ourselves?” she asked. He squinted at her, “Yeeess..” 

“Then why waste a perfectly good opportunity?” she asked before pulling out of his arms. She raised her hands and started to unbutton her shirt from the bottom button. Her shirt was already almost soaked through, clinging to her skin in a very delectable way. One button… then two. Three, and four. Every movement of her hand opening the shirt a little more to his view. He stood there in the rain, his eyes riveted on her hands, his own clenched at his sides. She had two buttons left, made a face like she was mildly confused. “Cullen, do you want me to continue?” 

He made this grumbling laugh. “If you don’t, I don’t think that shirt will survive this evening…” She laughed, her face glistening in the rain. A few of the lanterns had died in the rain, but there were enough to still illuminate her figure in the night. She released another button, baring the underside of her breast to his gaze, then the last one. She let the shirt cling to her skin, closing her eyes and just lifting her face to the rain again. He reached out and trailed a finger down her neck, startling her. She opened her eyes and watched his face. He drew that finger down her chest, between her breasts, down her stomach to hook into the waist of her pants. He drew her closer to him, his eyes never leaving hers. 

“You want to.. Here?” he asked her then. She nodded, her hands reaching up to unbutton his shirt. Every button she released revealed more of his skin. As she got to the bottom of the shirt, her fingers brushed against the front of his pants. Apparently she wasn’t the only one wanting to do something here. He growled at her, hooking both hands into her pants, drawing them down her hips and legs. She stepped out of them standing there before him mostly naked, drenched in rain. She reached for his pants, untying them, opening them and freeing his cock from their confines. She stroked it as he pulled her close to take her mouth hungrily with his own. Tongues warring, her hands grasping and stroking him almost into a frenzy. Suddenly he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her from the ground. She gasped as her feet left the path. 

“Wrap your legs around me,” he commanded. She complied, her legs hooking behind his back. His hands on her butt, he held her there for a moment, suspended in the air, her face even with his own. She pushed his shirt open, her hands rubbing up and down his chest, before she leaned forward and kissed his neck. She trembled there in his arms, awash with a desperate need. She kissed right below his ear, then she placed a kiss on his jaw, then she took his mouth, her hands grasping his face. He took a few steps back to lean against the well, settling her against his chest. He shifted her hips, and slid his cock inside her. She groaned against his mouth as he slowly filled her. Then he lifted her enough to slide almost completely out of her, then thrust back in. She wrapped an arm behind his neck, throwing her head back. Cullen watched her face as he began a swift rhythm, in.. and out. Rain was steadily soaking them further, running down Aurelia’s face, her neck, into her hair.

She felt like she was on fire. She was so hot, and she just needed him. 

“Maker! Cullen, please..” she begged through her teeth. 

“As you command,” he said under his breath, barely keeping his wits about him. He gripped her hips as he drove himself into her, faster still. She cling to his shoulders, rain running down her face, feeling that peak closing in on her. She pressed her mouth to his once more, a desperate plea.. He answered her kids with a harsh one of his own, reveling in the feel of her quaking in his arms, her body hot and tight, gripping his cock. 

He ground into her once.. Twice more, then held her there, his cock fully sheathed inside her. Wrapping an arm around her he held her still, using his other hand to slip between them and touch her, his thumb quickly finding her clit, slick with her arousal and the rain sluicing down her body. He gave her clit a quick flick, smiling at the way she twitched in his arms. He gave it a rub.. A circle around it once, causing her to lay her head on his chest and moan, then he rubbed it in earnest, causing her to shake. 

He felt as her orgasm took her, before she had a chance to utter a sound, her muscles gripping his cock tightly, breaking his concentration. He gripped her hips again and drove into her once.. Twice more.. She cried out as he moved in her, her fingers digging into his shoulders. His voice joined hers as he came, hot and hard, her muscles still clutching at his cock, throbbing around him. He held her still, still sheathed inside her. As she stopped trembling in his arms he held her to him and made his way back to the chair inside the gazebo. He lifted her off of him, carefully setting her on the chair. She tried not to laugh when she saw how disheveled he was. Hair crazy from the rain, soaked through, his shirt undone and his cock just standing at half attention still. He saw her face and just sighed at her, finding the blanket on the ground and throwing it on top of her. 

“You, woman, are diabolical,” he grumbled at her, as he turned away and tried to right his appearance somewhat. After that, he went and fetched her pants. They were, however, soaking wet. 

“Well there's no saving face this time,” she laughed. She stood up and wrapped the blanket around herself, under her arms like a huge floor length towel. Once she had it secured, she grabbed her boots and pants and made a mad dash for the door leading back into the hall. Cullen followed, curious to see how she handled this mess. 

She opened the door quietly and peeked inside, saw no one. She went on inside, sneaking to the open doorway leading into the hall. Cullen watched her with fascination. She looked almost like a child, her eyes bright and her face glowing. This was the Aurelia that was slowly but very surely capturing his heart. 

She made her way into the hall, started walking towards the back where the door to her chambers were. The door leading into the war room suddenly opened, Josephine standing there, wearing a satin robe and bare feet. She stopped when she saw Aurelia there dripping on the hall floor, wrapped in her blanket still. They stared at each other for a minute, then Aurelia began to chuckle. Josephine smiled herself, then began laughing as well. She saluted to the Inquisitor and went back the way she came. Aurelia could hear whispers from inside the office but didn't want to wait to see who it was. She turned to go to her rooms, but as she stepped, her foot caught the edge of the blanket, but before she could fall, Cullen's arms caught her from behind. He scooped her up and carried her to the door, motioning for her to get the handle. She complied, he stepped through and kicked the door shut. He had her lock it, then carried her up the stairs. He set her on her feet in front of the fireplace. She was shivering by then, barely holding the blanket in place. He stoked the fire, then motioned for her to drop the blanket. She did, and he finished removing her shirt, then wrapped her in a fluffy blanket from the bed. She went and sat on her chair. 

"I'm going to go get the pups," he said, turning to go. She sat and stared into the fire, marveling at her luck tonight. A few minutes later, he returned  with a basket of sleeping puppies. He tucked the basket into the closet.

“Cullen?” she said quietly.

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Everything? Giving me a perfect night of being Aurelia. You just being Cullen. It was.. Perfect.”

He kneeled in front of her, “No. Thank you.” She quirked an eyebrow. “It was wonderful to get away from it all, even it we were still in the middle of it all.” She sighed, leaned forward and lightly kissed him. He got up, took off his clothes and pulled her to get feet, led her to the bed. He climbed in, let her climb in, then they burrowed under the blankets together. 

“Sweet dreams, Cullen,” she whispered into the room. “Sleep sweet, Aurelia,” he whispered back, falling asleep wrapped around the woman of his dreams.

 


	5. Out of the Dreaming, Into the Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurelia and company make their way to the Western Approach, meet a magister named Erimond, and learn some disturbing things about the Grey Wardens. Once home, dreams and revelations occur.

**Aurelia -**

I stood on my balcony, little Fen’Harel laying at my feet, watching the goings on below me. Men training, medics attending to our wounded, scouts scurrying here and there. I could see Cullen exiting the side door of his office, Lady Gray following at his heels like the faithful Mabari pup she was. She had taken a liking to Cullen lately, sleeping with him when he allowed her to, and following him everywhere. I had a feeling she was becoming more his than mine. And I couldn't even bring myself to mind. 

In the coming weeks he would need the distraction anyways. Varric had brought his friend Garrett Hawke to see me, and he had taken me to see his Grey Warden friend, Alistair, in Crestwood. Where I had found other Wardens trying to find him. When Cassandra had found out Varric knew where to find Hawke, she was beyond livid. What he did might have been underhanded but I get it. Protecting his best friend… And glad he did so because of the devastating events at the Temple. I couldn't blame him, and eventually talked Cass down. She was reluctantly understanding. She even offered her help for when I was to meet Hawke and Alistair in the Western Approach. To show her support and hopefully show Varric she was sorry for being hot tempered. 

**3 Days Later - Courtyard -**

Cullen stood there with my horse, as I walked down the stairs into the courtyard. He was stroking the horse's face, whispering to the horse. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and just watched him for a minute. That man was… More than I had ever hoped for. Last night he had had a dinner prepared for us to share in my room, had Sera keep the pups for the night. He’d had the tub brought up, and we took the evening together, eating, bathing, making love a.. few times. Falling into a peaceful sleep with him wrapped around me, perfect end to the day. Now we were parting, for who knows how long this time. 

I walked to him, slowly drinking in the sight of him standing there waiting for me. Sunlight dancing through his hair, glinting off his armor. A sparkle in his eyes as we both recalled that just an hour ago we were both very naked and very much not sleeping. He reached out a hand to me, I wrapped my fingers in his as he drew me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck, his own arms circling me and crushing me against his chest. He held me for a minute, until I pulled back enough to look at him. “Cullen, I'm coming back,” I start to say. He just shook his head.

“No promises, just do your best to be safe and keep your wits about you. Crazy wardens aren't a good thing. I just want you to be careful.” He kissed my forehead, then softly kissed my lips. I closed my eyes and deepened the kiss, my hand moving to cradle his face. He finally pulled away when we heard a throat clear. I sighed. Varric stood there with Bull, and Cassandra. Dorian stood at the top of the stairs scowling at Bull. Bull just squinted at him, crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his foot. Dorian audibly sighed and stomped down the stairs, moving to stand in front of Bull. 

“You said you weren't going this time,” Dorian whispered loudly. I coughed. Bull just laughed and grabbed Dorian to hug him. Dorian's face flushed so red, but he readily returned the embrace. When Bull pulled back, Dorian caught his chest harness strap, pulled him back toward him and kissed him, right there in front of everyone. Cassandra’s eyes were huge, and Varric started this slow quiet clap. Cullen just shook his head and muttered, “About damn time.” 

I hugged Cullen once more, and Dorian too for good measure. He clutched at me, “Bring that stupid brute back to me, woman.” I kissed his cheek and promised to do my best. We all mounted - Varric with a little help of course. And we took off to find out what was happening to the Wardens. 

**4 Weeks Later -**

We finally returned to Skyhold. All of us whole, if not scared to our cores. What we had found had shaken us all. A Venetori mage, Erimond, in the employ of Corypheus, was manipulating the Warden mages into using blood magic to summon demons, and binding them to himself and ultimately to his master. They were sacrificing the warriors and their rogues in their efforts to help Erimond, all under the guise of ‘Stopping the Blights forever’. While really, they were just building that damned demon army Dorian and I had seen in the future. In that broken down tower, there were numerous bodies, and we added to it when we had to slay the Wardens under Erimonds control, such a damned waste. Hawke was furious, Alistair was furious and worried for his wife. Rightly so, since she was a very powerful mage in her own right. Bull was just happy he got to kill some ‘Vints. And happy to be back home too.

Leliana was awaiting us at the gates. She looked worried, as worried as we all felt. “Come,” she says, “Josephine and Cullen await us in the war room.” I nodded and motioned for Cass to follow me. I left the others with the stable boys, and wearily made my way inside. My skin was gritty, my hair a stringy dusty mess. My clothes were all, well just brown. An ugly nasty brown, desert dirt everywhere. My boots were full of sand and I'm pretty sure some demon guts. I shuddered and kept walking. We get to the door of the keep, but before we could open them, they flung open from the inside, and Cullen was there. He looked as relieved as I felt. I rushed into his arms, heedless of the mess I'd make. He nearly crushed me, his arms a vice around me. Leliana walked ahead to the war room with Cass, leaving Cullen and I alone for a moment. 

“Oh, blast, I’m making a mess,” I started to say, his mouth interrupting me by stealing my lips. I kissed him back, couldn’t have stopped myself if I had tried. We had written while I was away but it was never the same. He held my face, and slowly kissed me senseless, smiling and pulling away when he felt me soften more against him. “I missed you more than I liked, woman.” 

I smiled back, enjoying the surly touch to his tone. “I missed you just as much.” He kissed me again, quick and sweet, then grabbed my hand and led me to the war room. 

Leliana was explaining to Cass what Alistair and Hawke had found at Adamant, a Warden fortress further into the Western Approach. The remaining Wardens in Orlais were amassing there and from what they could see, still summoning demons left and right. They couldn’t get close enough to tell any more. I listened as Leliana and Cullen explained our most likely strategy on how to attack the fortress. We sat and strategized for close to an hour, and the whole while I was trying to stifle yawns. Eventually Cullen broke things up, citing his own hunger as a reason, though we all know what it really was. 

We all went into the hall to eat a huge meal, everyone quietly talking about frivolous and pointless things. Purposefully avoiding the subject that was on everyone’s minds. We talked about the upcoming Masquerade ball in Hilamshiral, us females making plans to shop with Dorian tagging along. We talked about how the weather had been, the shenanigans that Cole and Sera had gotten up to while I was away. How the pups had taken to sleeping in my bed like they missed me, but I knew why they were there. Cullen was sleeping there as well, missing me as I had missed him. The pups were just his really terrible cover story. The pups had grown so much while I had been gone, and Fen was all over me, in my lap and licking me constantly. He eventually curled up on my feet to nap while I finished eating and letting everyone chatter on around me. I found myself finally relaxing, after 4 weeks.. 28 days of constant awareness and barely sleeping. It was nice, not having to be on my guard every second. Between the wildlife in the Approach, and the roving bands of mercenaries and Venetori, it was a never ending death match. We even had a few Fennec foxes trying to camp with us for safety. 

Listening to the babbling voices around me, I started to drift off, my head on my hand. As my eyes fluttered closed for the third time, I heard Cullen excuse himself and me, and he put his hand on my head, getting my attention. He pulled me to my feet and led me from the hall, the pups following us sleepily. He led me up to my room, where a hot bath was waiting for me. I almost cried, but I didn’t even have the energy to cry. He understood though. Did he ever. He undressed me, and helped me into the tub of hot water. I hissed as the water caressed my stiff muscles. After a few minutes, he noticed me nodding off again and started talking nonsense to keep me semi-awake. He helped me wash my hair and body, rinsed me off with fresh water, and helped me out of the tub. He dried me off, swift and sure, then led me to the bed. He helped me climb in, then undressed himself, and followed suit. He settled himself next to me, and I snuggled into his side, laying my head on his shoulder, my hand sitting on his chest. He kissed my head and told me to sleep. I needed no further urging, sleep claiming me almost immediately. 

**Dreaming… -**

_ I could hear them, whispers of the dead. Sitting in a garden, one from my childhood home. I wandered, touching the flowers, stopping to smell them. But they didn’t smell like flowers, they smelled like.. Death. I went to go through the door back into the castle, but found myself instead in a graveyard. The air was a foggy orange color. The graveyard stretched as far as the eyes could see, grave upon grave. I walked forward, to try and read one.  _ _   
_ **_“Here Lies Ser Bandly, Died at the hand of the Herald of Andraste, slain in cold blood for betraying the Templar Order -- He died trying to protect his people, murdered”_ **

_ It was like a punch in the gut. A stab in the heart. I walked towards another grave, and another and another. Each one bearing a name, or a face, how I had killed them. All died at my hand. I looked down to find myself wearing a blood soaked sleeping gown, that had been white, but now dripped blood as I moved through the graves. _

_ I looked around myself, horror filling my mind, so many graves. Hundreds.. No - thousands. I ran forward, between gravestones, until I came upon one that was a statue of Cullen. I fell to my knees, tears streaming down my face. _

**_“Here lies Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford, Former Knight-Commander of the Templar Order of Kirkwall, Commander of the Inquisition Armies. Died in the battle against the Magister Corypheus, one of the first to fall. The Inquisitor did not save him”_ **

_ I was sobbing, my hand clutching at my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I looked around in a panic, saw stones for Cassandra, Dorian, Varric, Leliana. More I couldn’t read from where I sat. I got back up and began to run again, ran and ran, until I finally reached the end of the field of dead. There stood a black gate, ornate and beautiful. I reached for the gate, when it wrenched out of reach. There stood Corypheus, in his hand the Lion hooded helmet Cullen wore into battle. I cried out, power tingling in my hands, frost filling the air… _

“AURELIA!” I heard, Cullen's hands on my shoulders, shaking me. I gasped, opening my eyes, feeling the magic in my hand freezing the bed under it. I pulled away and scrambled off the bed, my eyes wild, breathing ragged. All I could see was that statue of Cullen, the words running through my head. Cullen kneeled on the bed, his hands in front of him, trying to talk to me. My heart was hammering too hard to hear him clearly at first. It took several deep breaths to calm myself. I fell to the floor crying. Cullen climbed off the bed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I clutched at him, babbling about how sorry I was and he was never allowed to die on me and about graves and Corypheus killing him. He just held me and let me talk. After a few minutes, I finally calmed down enough to take a few good breaths and explain. But not before I looked at the bed and saw nearly half the bed was frozen still. I gasped and went to get up but Cullen held me firmly. 

“No,” was all he said. I pressed my face into his chest, trying not to cry again. I started talking then, explaining the dream, in detail. He held me and let me talk. When I finished, he pushed me away enough to see my face. “I’m not going anywhere, ever.” That was it. All he said to me, but in those 5 words I heard a certainty that I had lacked my entire life. I looked at him, his hair disheveled, his face scratchy with a day's growth of beard, his eyes clear and focused. I sighed. 

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered, still scared enough of what I had dreamed. 

“You deserve the world. It is I who don’t deserve you. I haven’t always been kind or treated mages humanely. I said and did things I’m not proud of. You deserve so much better,” he whispered back. I shook my head.    
I reached my hand up and ran my thumb down the scar above his lip, caressed his face. Then pulled it to mine, and kissed him gently. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him, his mouth clinging to mine. I pulled my mouth away, “Please.. Make me forget,” I whispered. His eyes searched my face, and apparently satisfied with what he saw there, he set me on the floor, got up and grabbed one of the pillows from the bed and took it to the floor by the fire. I watched him, his movements graceful and his body firm. Clothed, the man was formidable, undressed he was… magnificent. Scars were smattered around his torso and legs, white lines against his skin. He walked back to me, knelt and picked me up, carrying me to the pillow, laying me gently down. He settled himself on top of me, his hands tangling in my hair, cradling my head. His head dipped to mine, his lips took mine, my mouth opening under his, inviting his tongue to dance. I closed my eyes, relished the taste and feel of him. He kissed me, for minutes.. Hours.. I wouldn't be able to tell you. Soft and inviting, hard and passionate, teasing and inviting. Eventually he pulled his mouth off mine, leaned up enough to get his hand between us, nudged my legs apart and slowly parted me with his fingers. I gasped and closed my eyes. His fingers, finding me slick and wet with need, rubbed against my clit, once.. Twice.. Drawing little sounds from me, as I twitched beneath him. He drew a circle around and around, until I was writhing, begging. He stared into my eyes, and slowly slid his cock inside me. I gasped as he filled me, my eyes locked on his. His hand kept rubbing my clit, and his hips started to move, pulling himself out… Then then thrusting back in. Again.. And again. Soft and steady, each stroke burning me from the inside out. He gripped my hips, holding me still beneath him, as he continued to thrust his hips. I hooked my legs around his waist, gripped his shoulders with my hands, my eyes closed as I got lost in the moment. I felt that familiar pressure, the wrenching in my stomach, trembling in my legs. Gasping, I begged Cullen, to do what I don’t know. He lifted himself off of me, still buried deep inside me. He pulled me towards him, propping my hips on his legs, pulling my legs farther apart, his hands beneath my knees. Then he started thrusting again, going deeper than before. I reached up and gripped the pillow on either side of my head, groaning with each swift thrust of his cock. Heat was spreading through me, and Cullen glistened with sweat. His arms trembled, his brow was furrowed, his eyes never leaving my face. 

I started shaking, and Cullen started thrusting faster. I cried out as I came, feeling my muscles clenching again and again on him. He growled, still thrusting, even as he came himself. He gripped my legs, his head falling back, chest heaving. Shaking, I laid there, trying to breathe. He let my legs drop, reached out his hands to me. I grabbed them and he pulled me up against him, wrapping his arms around me. I put my hands on his face, pulled him close to kiss, slowly and full of all the things I couldn’t say yet. He kissed me back, gripping me tight against him. I pulled back enough to look him in the eyes. 

“You are a miracle, Cullen Rutherford.” He shook his head at me. “You are. You were tortured by mages, and woke up in a bed frozen by one, and you didn’t panic. You had every reason to panic, but you didn’t. You comforted me when I was essentially breaking down, and that’s not always safe around a mage. You are amazing.” I kissed him again. He was blushing, and in that moment he was the best thing I had ever seen. His blonde hair was tussled, his face flushed, but his eyes, they were bright and clear. Gold eyes, saying so much more than his mouth could right then. 

I kissed him again. “Cullen - thank you for being you.”   
“Aurelia, stop that. I did nothing special.” I laughed.    
“You did everything.” 

**The Next Morning -**

Cullen made his way down to the kitchens, looking to snag a pot of coffee and some muffins if the cook had any ready. There was a little gray puppy following him, staying to his heels. Little happy yips escaping her every few feet. As Cullen entered the kitchen, Lady sat by the door, just as he had taught her. She didn’t like getting yelled at by the cook, and getting the food from Cullen was always an added bonus for staying out of the kitchen. She watched him, tail wagging, as the cook handed him a tray with several cups, a small carafe of coffee and biscuits. The dog also smelled.. Bacon! She could barely contain her excitement! Cullen thanked the cook, promising her favors for her generosity. She just laughed him off and bade him take care of their Herald. He promised he would, then made his way back upstairs, Lady Gray at his heels.

When they got back to the room, he found Fen had taken his spot on the bed, snuggled up against Aurelia, who was laying on her stomach, her butt barely covered by the sheet. Her red hair was covering Fen’s face, almost like he did it on purpose. Cullen just shook his head. He put the tray on the dresser, sat next to Aurelia’s sleeping form, grasped a lock of her hair and proceeded to tickle her nose with it. She scrunched up her face and growled at him. Wouldn't open her eyes though. He ran the hair down her face, onto her shoulder and arm, making her tense. 

A muffled “Wwwhhhyyyy?” made its way out of her face. 

Then a screech as Fen stuck his cold nose in her armpit, causing her to roll into Cullen, who was trying valiantly not to laugh. She glared at Fen - who just laid there on his back on the bed grinning at her, his tongue lolling out between his teeth. Aurelia's back was pressed against Cullen's leg, her legs tangled in the sheet. She caught him watching her with a grin and decided some pay back was in order. Staying where she was, she stretched, long and languid. Her arms above her head, neck arched, a groan of enjoyment. Maybe she put a little more work into the stretch than needed… Like pushing her breasts out a bit more. And giving an exaggerated shudder when she was done. His eyes narrowed as he watched her. He leaned over her, his arms on either side of her face, which was only an inch or so away from hers. “I see what you did there, woman.”

“All I did was..” and he interrupted her, stopping her words with a kiss. She just sighed and fell into it, her hands coming up to his face, kissing him back slowly and lovingly. He pulled away after a minute or two. 

“You need to eat. Please?” She scrunched up her face. He pleaded with his eyes. She pouted. He smacked her in the face with a pillow. Fen jumped up and ran to attack the pillow, for offending his precious mistress. Aurelia laid there laughing, as Fen growled a tiny growl at the pillow, bumping it with his nose, trying to be threatening to his Lady’s attacker. Cullen grabbed the other pillow and began knocking Fen over, causing Lady to jump on the bed then jump on Fen. They started wrestling, little growls and yips filling the air. Aurelia climbed off the bed and left them too it, taking the sheet and wrapping it around herself. She tossed her pillow onto the pups and left them to fight over it. Cullen grabbed the tray and took it to the table, then held out a seat for Aurelia. She followed him and sat down, snatching a chocolate muffin from the basket. She took a bite, closed her eyes and just moaned. Gooey chocolate heaven, all hers. She chewed slowly, and after swallowing, opened her eyes to find Cullen staring at her, his coffee cup hanging in front of his face, untouched. She arched an eyebrow, “Yeess?” 

He shook his head, cleared his throat. “You enjoyed that way too much,” he said, staring down into his cup. She laughed. “Chocolate is my second favorite thing, Cullen,” she said, before taking another bite. He refused to look up from his cup, his face flushing from imagining all the things that could possibly put that super satisfied look on her face again. “Cullen, would you like to know my first favorite thing?” she asked after she swallowed. 

“I.. admit I am afraid to ask.” 

She got up from the table, holding the sheet around her still, and walked to his chair, grabbed the cup in his hand and placed it on the table. She then sat on his lap, wrapped an arm around him. “You are,” she said before poking his nose. “What?” he asked, trying not to sound too happy about that revelation.    
“Cullen Stanton Rutherford, you happen to be my favorite thing. Your laugh, your honor. Your heart and your smile. The way you watch me, and hold me. The way you care for everyone else before yourself. You might be the Inquisitions Commander, but in all reality, you are  _ my _ Commander. You, Cullen, are amazing. And you don’t even know it.”   
By the time she finished talking, his face was bright red, but he was smiling. “You really think all of that?” he asked. She nodded. “And more. But I can’t inflate your ego that much today. Maybe tomorrow.” She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him. Just once. But it was enough. She moved to get up, but he pulled her back down. She looked at him and he just grabbed his coffee off the table and settled back in to drink it, with his woman on his lap. She grabbed another muffin and offered him a bite. 

“My hands are full,” he said with a smile. One hand had coffee the other was holding her to him. She held it up to his mouth, nudging it to open. He opened his mouth, letting her place it on his tongue. She pulled her hand away as he slowly chewed the muffin. She went back to eating, enjoying her time with him. They sat that way, for almost an hour. The pups settled down to nap together on the bed, after munching some of the bacon Cullen had procured for them. Aurelia and Cullen finished off the coffee and muffins, talked about inane things, letters from his and her families, silly castle drama, how the training was going and so on. Eventually, a knock sounded at the door. Before either could answer, Dorian came into the room. 

“No, don’t get up for me. I am just here on business for our beauteous Cassandra who has bade me come and roust you two from your love nest.” He looked at Aurelia, and raised an eyebrow. “Do get dressed first though. We don’t need our adorable Commander distracted all day,” he said with a laugh as he turned to leave. Whistling his way out the door, he closed it firmly. Aurelia looked at Cullen, who was blushing again. She kissed his nose then got off his lap to get dressed. On the way to the closet, she dropped the sheet. She could feel his eyes on her. She made a show of reaching and bending for the things she wanted, and when she turned to leave the closet, she ran face first into his chest. He had his arms braced on the door frame, effectively blocking her in. She looked up at him with a look of mock-confusion. He just stared down at her. She hooked her hand in the front of his pants, pulled him closer and offered her face up to his, waiting to see what he’d do. She wasn't disappointed. He lowered his head, stopped just shy of kissing her. “You, woman, are evil,” he whispered. Then his mouth crushed hers, his arms snaking around her to pull her against his body. She wrapped her own arms around him, pouring herself into the kiss. His hands slid down her back to grab her butt. She untied his pants, reaching inside to grasp ahold of his cock, already hard and hot. She freed him from his pants, stroking him, once.. Twice. 

He pulled his mouth from hers, “Grab my shoulders,” he says. She complies, releasing him and grasping his shoulders. He lifts her from the floor, her face raising to his, making her gasp. “Wrap your legs around me,” he whispers, his mouth barely touching hers. She does, her feet touching behind his back. He walks further into the closet, backing her against the sheets hanging there. Bracing her on his left hand, he reached under her leg, and guides his cock to her, sliding it inside her. She moans as his mouth takes hers, as his cock starts a swift rhythm. His hands grip her butt, holding her still as he thrust.. Over.. And over.. She clutched at his shoulders, gasping into his mouth as he drove them both towards that inevitable peak. She could feel it coming, the pressure building, heat filling her. He grunted, slowing his thrusts, feeling her tense in his arms. She cried out as she came, her muscles clutching at his cock, throbbing and hot. Clenching and pulsing, gripping him tight. He groaned, her pleasure releasing his own, hot and wet inside her. He gripped her tight, buried to the hilt inside her, both of them breathing heavily, their hearts rapid but slowing. He kissed her once more, relishing the trembling still running through her legs. 

“See what you made me do?” he asked, trying not to grin at the sight of the dazed look on her face. 

“I should do this more often,” she said, her voice cracking. He laughed, and wrapping his arms around her, he carried her to the bed, and feeling himself slide out of her, he lowered her to the bed. She laid back on the bed, her stomach still shivering. She laid there trying to catch her breath. “Cassandra is going to be so mad at you,” she giggled from the bed. He threw a towel at her from the dresser. She covered her face and laughed some more. The dogs started sniffing at her hair, stepping on it and trying to lick her face under the towel. Cullen cleaned himself off, righted his pants, and went to stand by the bed where Aurelia was still laughing. “You are ridiculous,” he starts to say, getting the attention of the puppies. They ran to him and tried climbing his legs. He swooped them up, leaned down and kissed Aurelia's forehead. “Get some clothes on already, I’m going downstairs.” Then he turned and left the room, happy puppy sounds following him. 

**Aurelia -**

After I dressed I made my way down to the hall. Cassandra was waiting near the door to the war room. She was blushing. “Cass?” I asked. 

“Cullen said he distracted you. In the closet.” She swallowed. “And that you would be down when you could.. Walk again. Inquisitor! This is most unseemly behavior!” I laughed.    
“Cassandra Pentaghast. You read Varric’s smutty novels. What I do with Commander Cullen is no different. And, I have feelings for him Cass. Real, honest, deep in my soul feelings,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I’m late for the meeting. Forgive me?”

She nodded. “Oh, I don’t blame you. Commander Cullen is very, handsome. And I’m not mad, truly. Besides, I have a question.” I raised my eyebrow. 

“Which closet?” 

I laughed again, told her which one, and she thought about it for a minute. Then blushed again. And we walked into the war room laughing about closet shenanigans. It was a going to be a good day. 


	6. And In The End, Adamant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurelia apologizes for unfortunate words and helps Cullen in an unexpected way.  
> They receive dire news and prepare to go to Adamant Fortress to deal with the Wardens.  
> Aurelia has.. News.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the chapter detailing somewhat what happened at Adamant. I'm going to add Bring Hawke Home as chapter 7, which is what I originally intended. It might be a week or two before I add more as I have a couple other stories to add to.  
> Thank you all.. For reading and your kind words. I never thought I'd be doing this, the whole "sharing what I wrote" thing. It's been a learning experience!  
> Anywho - hope you all have an awesome day! Whatever day it is for you :D

**Aurelia - A Couple Weeks Later -**

 

You know? I hate politics. I hate them with a passion. My parents were the politicians in the family, and they always knew the right things to say or how to act. I had left the family too early to really get mired in the machinations of court. And ‘court’ was court in any country, really. Whether Orlais, Ferelden, the Free Marches, Nevarra or even Tevinter and Antiva. While some places were more subtle with their intrigue and ‘games’, like Orlais, or outright manipulation like in Ferelden.. It all boiled down to the same thing. Money and power ruled the world.

We had just returned to Skyhold from an.. Interesting.. Trip to Hilamshiral. The seat of the royalty in Orlais. Dorian and I had seen in the future we experienced, that Empress Celene was assassinated, throwing Thedas into chaos. We succeeded in saving her and Thedas. And found out that apparently a smooth tongue and noble sass can be inherited. I managed to manipulate and blackmail all 3 of the key players in Orlais into working together for the good of the country. While I know, in the long run, it won’t work. But right now I am more worried for short term. This was a way of cementing MY power over them, and making them work towards a common goal, defeating Corypheus and defeating his army of demons. And I needed the country’s power wielders to work together to do it.

It was fairly horrible though. Seriously. So many elves died in that palace that night. We were tripping over bodies left and right. Dorian enjoyed himself thoroughly, and Iron Bull likes spiced nuts apparently. Cassandra was disgusted with the entire affair. So many people trying to get on her good side, or mine. I don’t know how it works in Orlais, but in the Free Marches, if one is a mage and of noble blood, they aren’t considered worth much at that point. I mean, sure, now that I was the Inquisitor and the Circles were no more, everyone who was anyone was trying to get into my good graces because I was suddenly a ‘key player’ myself again.   
There were a couple of good things that came out of that awful evening. We acquired another mage. A very powerful one that Leliana had known before her time in the Inquisition. Her name was Morrigan, and she was our new magical liaison from Orlais. She was also very knowledgeable in old magics, which could come in handy. The second good thing, seeing Cullen very far out of his element. He had gathered some admirers, not on purpose, but who could resist that sexy face of his? He had worried for me the whole night, listened to me sass him about his flock of eager faces, and, the dear man, had danced with me at the end of the night. Even though when I had asked him to earlier, he had turned me down. And, honestly, the dance was perfect, he was perfect.

I sighed. I had been sitting here in the garden for a good hour, writing down all that had transpired in Hilamshiral. Wanted it on paper in case things got messy when we go to Adamant Fortress in a few days. I was worried. There was something niggling about in my brain, something we seemed to be missing about all of this. It was making me crazy. It was affecting my sleep, my training. I was getting frustrated and short tempered. And early this morning, I had yelled at Varric and Cullen and felt horrible for it. I had taken them muffins and chocolate to make up for it but still, I wish I could put my finger on what was troubling me. On what tiny puzzle piece we seemed to be missing.

I needed to go apologize again. Especially to Cullen. Varric didn’t seem too put out by my outburst, but I fear I hurt Cullen. I sighed again. Gathering up my papers and such, I whistled for Fen. He came galloping at me from across the garden, a scrap of leather dangling from his face. Maker, but he was getting big. He was already almost up to my knees. Not so much a small puppy any more. But still very immature.. But to be expected. He did eat like 5 dogs at this point though. He fell in step beside me as I entered the main hall of the keep. I went and deposited my things in my room, just dumping the papers on the desk. I thought for a moment, and decided to change clothes. Maybe find something a little… more.. Accessible? I looked through my dresser, and into my closet. Chose a shirt I had stolen from Cullen last week, a loose over coat and some loose leather pants. No shoes. Who needs shoes anyways? I made my way back through the keep, across the bridge to Cullen’s office.

When I got there, he was addressing a few of his scouts. Giving them instructions and being the Commander we all know and love. I stood by the door, my arms over my chest, just watching. None of them had heard me enter (perks of no shoes, I swear by it), and hearing him talk to the men like normal, it was enlightening. He was firm but always cordial. And his tone was very “no-nonsense”, even as he commended a few of them for their ingenuity in the field. Then he dismissed them all, all of them exiting the side doors of the office. Cullen sat down at his desk, completely unaware I was even here. I cleared my throat, and moved to lock his doors. He jumped in his chair, and looked a little warily at me.   
“Is there something I can help you with, Inquisitor?” he asked me, bland tone and all. I chuckled, “I deserve that. I came to apologize. Again.”

He just watched me, as I moved to the second door, locked it, and then to the third. Same, locking it with my back to the door. I walked to his desk and sat on the corner, facing him.

“I was an utter ass this morning. I blame foul dreams and the wretched company we kept in Hilamshiral. And my own lack of tact. I wasn’t trying to hurt you..” I said quietly, looking down at my hands folded in my lap. “I’m still getting used to this. All of this. I’ve never been in the position of having careless words really hurt someone before. No one really cared what I had to say in the tower, unless it was some magical divine moment. Even then, within minutes I’d be dismissed again.” I shrugged.

“Cullen,” I whispered quietly. “Say something, please? Or tell me to leave..” But he just sat there, quiet. I sighed. “I’m sorry again.. I’ll let you get back to work.” I turned to leave, Fen whined from under the desk with Lady. “Stay here Fen.” I got to the door, but before I could unlock it, Cullen’s hands were there, against the door, on either side of my head. I just waited, my head against the door.

“Don’t go,” he whispered behind me. “I’m as in the dark as you are, about this whole.. Relationship business. Maybe we can learn together?” I nodded against the door. He gripped my shoulders and turned my body around until I was facing him. I looked up at him. He looked down at me. Brushed my hair from my forehead, cupped my face with his hand. I turned and kissed his palm. “I’m sorry,” I whisper again.

“Me too,” he answered. I gripped his furry collar and brought his head closer to mine. He needed no more urging than that, and covered my mouth with his. I sighed and dived into the kiss. He wrapped an arm around me and pressed us against the door. His kiss was thorough and mind melting. Eventually I broke the kiss and pushed him away. Only far enough to be able to reach out push his overcoat off. He let it drop to the floor, and I went about unbuckling his breastplate. He let that drop onto his over coat. Then he pushed my overcoat off.. “Oh, look, my shirt. Wonder how it got there?” he asked with a glint in his eyes. I reached up and untied the lace holding the top half of the shirt closed. Pulled the string out one hole.. Two.. Three.. Then he just hooked a finger in it and pulled the entire lace out of the bottom holes. The opening in the shirt went low enough to show my belly button. I looked down and marveled that it was staying mostly closed. Cullen, however, had no compunction about keeping it that way. He used a finger, nudged it off my left shoulder, exposing a good bit of my left breast as well. Using the same finger he pulled the shirt down more, exposing my breast. “Oh, my shirt has some secrets,” I smirked. He traced a finger down my breast.. Leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. He circled it around my nipple, watching it pucker under his attentions. He cupped it, dipping his head to lick it.. A little nip of his teeth, and a swipe of his tongue to sooth the sting. He stood back up, wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me against his chest, and walked backwards to his desk.   
He released me, turned and swiped everything on his desk onto the floor, making the dogs jump beneath the desk. “Settle,” he commanded softly. They laid back down and ignored the mess. Cullen turned back to me, and made a sweeping arm gesture towards the desk. I walked over and leaned against the edge. He shook his head no. Put his finger into the tie at my waist, pulling it open. Then he slid both of his hands into my pants, slid them between the pants and me and gripped my butt. “Really, now?” I ask, my voice low. He just proceeds to slide my pants down my legs, and lets them pool at my feet. I step out and he just stares at me a minute, standing there in his giant shirt, my hair a fluffy red mess and I’m pretty sure my lips were swollen from his kisses.

“You are a sight,” he said, his voice gruff. He put his hands on either side of my head, fingers tangling in my hair, his mouth descending to mine. I opened my mouth, inviting him in. He deepened the kiss, his tongue tangling with mine. He kissed me.. Forever. I stood there, slowly melting in his arms. My ears were ringing, my knees weakening. He finally broke the kiss, smiling down into my dazed face. He lifted me onto the desk, standing between my legs. I unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders. Traced some of his more noticeable scars with my fingers, making my way down his chest and stomach to his pants. I caressed him through the pants, tight and straining from his arousal. I leaned forward and kissed one of the scars on his chest, then another. Pulled away to look up at him. “No, you.. You are the sight,” I whisper. “All those muscles, and scars, and strength and your smile. Your smile kills me, Cullen.”   
He looked down, trying to hide the flush covering his face. I just smiled and kissed the top of his head. I slid myself back on the desk and laid back, stretching. As I stretched, it lifted the shirt just enough to get his attention. He looked up at me and I just smiled. And crooked a finger at him. He wasted no more time, untying his pants and stepping out of them. He climbed on the desk and settled between my legs. “You fight dirty, Inquisitor.” I just nodded. He braced his elbows next to my shoulders, and looked down at me. “So what now, Your Worship?” he asked, voice full of snark. I reached between us and grasped his very hard cock.. Stroked it.. Once.. twice. He closed his eyes and shuddered. “What do you want?” I asked.

He reached between us as well, his hand finding me, spreading and sliding a finger inside me. He looked me in the eye as he slid his thumb up to caress my clit, causing me to moan.

“You. Only you,” he whispered. His mouth came down on mine, his hand moving and taking mine off of him. He then proceeded to guide his cock to my waiting entrance, and slowly slid inside me. He kissed me slowly, this languid sexy dance of tongues, and his cock throbbed inside me. Hot and hard. His mouth never leaving mine he settled his body onto mine, his hands sliding under my shoulders to grip the edge of the desk. I wrapped my legs around him, and he finally started to move his hips..

Ah the man was amazing. It never failed to amaze me..

He ground his hips against mine, moving his cock deep within me, his mouth still ravaging mine. Heat and pressure flooded my body, tingling in all the right places. He lifted his head, mouth reluctantly leaving mine, eyes looking into mine. And he just watched my face, as he thrust into me, over and over. And I couldn’t even return the favor, because every stroke of his cock drove me closer and closer to that inevitable perfect peak. It’s almost like he needed to see me reach it. I tried to watch him, but he was relentless.. Thrusting and grinding his hips against mine. Then he slowed his thrusts.. Each one, long, and deliberate. A sweet hot glide, filling me, making me gasp each time he thrust his cock as deep into me as he could. I turned my head, pressing my face against his arm.   
“Oh, no you don’t,” he whispers harshly, his other hand coming up to turn my face back to his. He held me there, his eyes staring into mine. “I want to see your pleasure, I want to drive you over and watch you fall,” his words were husky. And then he moved faster.. A swift hard rhythm, making me moan under him. I cried out as I came apart beneath him, clenching and throbbing. He bowed his head to my shoulder, drove himself into me again.. And again.. And came himself.. Grunting against my skin, his seed spilling hot inside me. His hand let go of my chin, and moved back to grip the desk, us both trembling from what transpired. I just laid there. I couldn’t move. My feet still locked behind his back, my breathing labored. My ears were still ringing. He kissed my shoulder, lifted his head to look down at me.

“So, that was some apology,” he said, his voice cracking. I smiled up at him, raising my hand to caress his face, my thumb tracing the scar over his lip. “I love that look on your face right now,” I whispered before I could stop myself. He looked at me with an obvious question in his eyes. “Cullen. You look happy.” He lowered his forehead to mine.   
“You help me forget. And the pain.. Is less when I’m with you. I.. am happy. For the first time in a long time.” He sounded almost afraid to admit it. I shook my head.   
“You deserve to be happy, Cullen.”

He smoothed the hair from my face, “Why? What good have I done that outweighs what I did in Ferelden and Kirkwall?”

I sighed. The man really was dense.

“You give. Every day. You give of yourself, to the Inquisition, to your men. You give of yourself to our fresh recruits, to the people in need. You give of yourself.. To even me. Every day, you give a tiny part of yourself to everyone in your keeping. And you don't even see it. But, those people you give to? They give back to you 10 fold, because you give them someone worthy to follow, believe in and trust. Implicitly. And you don't see it. They admire you so, look up to you. Because you.. Cullen Stanton Rutherford.. Are a good and worthy man. And not in spite of.. But because of your past. You grew.. And became a much better person than you see..”  

He just stared at me. Laying there, disheveled beneath him on his desk, preaching about his character. I sighed.

“There's no w..” he started to say.

“Cullen.. You're still _inside me_ … Why on earth would I lie about that.. After what we just did?” I sounded exasperated. I almost felt bad.. But really I just felt loose and sexy. Because he made me feel that way. All by his.. Ahem, amazingly proportioned self.

I pulled his face close. “Trust me. You're very loved. By many. Now.. Can we move? I think my butt is going to glue to your desk soon.”

He laughed, kissed me quickly then climbed off me. He, being the gentleman he is, opened the bottom locked drawer in his desk and produced a couple of towels. After we cleaned things up somewhat, got semi-dressed and put the desk back to rights, he asked me to join him upstairs. Leaving the dogs napping under the desk still, we made our way up the ladder to his room. I went to his bed and fell backwards on it. Rolled over and just.. Enjoyed the scent of him on there. He laid behind me and pulled me close.

“Cullen?”

“Mmm?”

“Can I tell you something odd?”

“I doubt it'll be odd, but alright…” he said.

“That first time I saw you, on the mountain path to the Temple when I was going to try and close the breach for the first time.. When Cassandra told you I, the prisoner, had closed the rift you were fighting at.. You were all business, terse in your answers and you barely glanced at me. But. But you said something along the lines of ‘Maker be with us all’, directed at me when I said I was going to my best at closing it.. You didn’t realize it, but no one had said anything like that to me in years. I was dismissed as a mage. Less than a person most of the time. And even though you said ‘us all’  I was included. And in that moment.. I saw _you_ including _me_ \- a prisoner you knew next to nothing about. And you made a bland statement about the Maker protecting us.. But you included a suspected criminal in your thoughts. Which was more consideration than I had really had in years in the circle.” I paused for a moment. He just waited me out. I sighed. Rolling over, I faced him on the bed.   
“You see yourself as broken and flawed. I see you as someone who rebuilt himself from the ground up. You broke away from a life you literally dedicated your life to, you gave up lyrium which is another battle itself. You work yourself into the ground every day to prove you are worthy. And there’s nothing left to prove.”

“How can you see all that? I will never understand you..” he whispered.   
“Ah you underestimate yourself. You understand plenty. You brought me dogs, you bring me food. Chocolate. You let me seduce you in the rain. You didn’t try to protect me like I was a helpless child when we were in Orlais. And I know you wanted to, your every conversation with me had admonitions on being careful, every one of them a reminder of how much you care. You take care of me, and you let me take care of you. I think we are alright.”   
“Hah, you have no clue how often Leliana had to actually restrain me from going off to find you. ‘She is a big girl Commander, let her be’ she’d say, or ‘You know she’ll be fine, she is always fine. She has a knack for fine, a really annoying magical knack. Stay here and be pretty’.” He sounded so perturbed. I just laughed. I rubbed his nose. “You are awfully pretty, Cullen,” I whispered, like it was some big secret. I was glad to hear that he wanted to protect me though, even though we both knew at this point I really didn’t need it. I pulled his face close for a quick kiss, then curled against his chest, my face tucked into his neck. He wrapped his arms around me and sighed. Soon enough, he fell asleep holding me, and I soon followed suit.

 

A while later, I awoke to the sounds of Lady growling at the bottom of the ladder. I looked around, noticed Cullen sleeping next to me, on his back. He was making no noise, but his face said a plethora of things. His brow furrowed, his lips pursed, skin covered in sweat. Nightmare.

I reached out and placed my right hand on his head, concentrating my magic, trying to send him healing sleep. But something was .. blocking? Something was blocking me. I pulled my hand away and watched him for a moment. He was really in there, whatever it was holding him tight. I crawled up the bed, picked up his head and put it in my lap. I closed my eyes, cleared my mind. Put both of my hands on his head and _pushed_ with my magic. The anchor.. It helped.

_Terror. I was steeped in terror._

_Trapped.. Caged and unable to save my fellow Templars._

_Endless screaming, horror filling the air.._

_Impossible to breathe_

_Blood on my hands_

_Rage.. Incomparible rage_

_Sorrow.. Drowning in sorrow_

_What_

_Have_

_I_

_Done_

 

_Wait_

_A glow_

_In the air_

_Around me_

 

Removing my hands, I took a shaking breath. My face was wet, crying. I was crying. Maker, his pain..

I shook my head, put my hands back to his head..

 

_Am I dying? Is the Maker finally going to release me from this never ending nightmare?_

_Peace.. All I want is peace.._

_That glow.. That light.. It feels so familiar._

_A hand.. The glow has a hand?_

_I reach out.. Touch it._

 

_Immediate peace._

_The scent of rain, and .. Arbors Blessing?_

_A flash of red hair…_

_Her touch_

_Soothes my soul.._

  


I let go again. Looking down, his face had calmed, his breathing slower. He smiled in his sleep, his terror gone.. I eased myself out from under his head and off the bed. I found my pants and hastily pulled them on.

I could feel my stomach churning. I slid my way down the ladder, told the dogs to stay, and unlocked one door, made my way back into the keep, running through the rotunda I yelled for Dorian to meet me in my room, and dashed through the hall, heedless of what I looked like. I barely made it to the garderobe before I started retching, my stomach trying to heave the food I hadn't eaten that day. After what seemed like hours, I finally got control of myself. I laid on the floor and tried not to cry. I closed my eyes and waited for Dorian.

I was not disappointed, hearing his feet on the stair seconds later. I heard him run across the floor to me, his hands gently pulling me up. I opened my eyes and asked quietly, “When will I ever learn?”

“Learn what?” he asked, his hands smoothing the hair away from my face. I sighed and tried to sit up, he helped me. We sat there on the floor, facing each other, me trying to figure out how to explain it all.

“Sooo you know how I said the stupid things this morning? To Varric and Cullen?” I asked. He nodded.   
“Well, I apologized when I did it, but felt that Cullen hadn’t even come close to forgiving me.. So I searched him out in his office… And did you know post-apology sex is amazing? I had no idea!”

He laughed, “Make-up sex is better than regular sex sometimes. All those tensions and passions.. Mrrm.”

“Well, anyways, post the post make up sex, we made our way up to his bed, and I was tired, and apparently so was he. I fell asleep. Lady woke me up growling from the office. I, Maker, I found him having another nightmare. But I couldn’t break this one. I tried using the usual healing sleep that Solas taught me.” I shivered. Just remembering what was going on in his head, it was going to be a while before I could forget that.

“I, well I used the anchor to help get past whatever was blocking me out. And I lived the dream, through his eyes. He was back in the tower in Ferelden, being tortured.” I swallowed. Then whispered, “He was terrified, and ready to die. His friends were all dead, and he was tired of fighting them off. I could have lost him before I ever knew I had him, Dorian.” He sighed.   
“So let me get this straight,” I snorted. “Ha ha, moving on. You tried to use your healing sleep on him, it didn’t work, but you were able to get in using the anchor? Were you able to break whatever was holding him?”

I nodded. “Somehow the anchor broke through and somehow the dream shifted and it wasn’t a nightmare anymore.”

“You live an interesting life, my dear. Why did you run through the keep acting like your hair was on fire?” he asked, his voice coated in concern.   
“It made me sick. Whatever I did, made me sick. And I’m afraid to ask Solas or Vivienne for help. I don’t want them to think I am using the anchor carelessly. Or to tell the others. Cullen deserves that little bit of privacy, at least.”

I sighed again.

“There's more..”

“Oh? Pray tell!”

“Dorian. I think he loves me. And he doesn’t even know it. Like.. all the way in love, soul deep and all that. And I think I found it first. I feel like I took something from him I wasn’t supposed to see.”

“Well, that’s a conundrum. Do you love him?” All I could do was nod. But “love” seemed so mild a word for what was happening inside me. “Maybe give him time? We all know he cares for you deeply, that’s very evident in everything he does here. Ah, and, well sometimes men are slower to that realization than women. You could just.. Help him realize it sooner by doing what you’ve been doing. The rest will fall into place. Hopefully. It should.”  
I raised an eyebrow at him. Sometimes he tried to be reassuring and he just managed to confuse me further. “Dorian.”

He just raises his hands like he has no idea what I was walking about. The ridiculous man. He stands up and helps me up as well. He sits on my bed and starts regaling me with some tale about him and Iron Bull doing sexy sneaky things, and I go into my closet to change.

“So.. we’re going to Adamant soon.” Inside the closet, I had removed Cullens shirt, tossed it aside and was looking for something more.. Inquisitor-y. Hanging on a hook at the back was a satin blue shirt with little weird buckles.   
“We? Did you finally decide to include me in this mess?” I sighed. “We as in all of us. We won’t all be together the whole time but there will be plenty to do. I don’t know who I’m taking with me yet. I know Bull is coming.. He all but ordered me to bring him. And Solas. Maybe Varric or Cole. Probably Varric, since we’ll be seeing Hawke again.”

“And why not me!?” he asked semi-incredulously.   
“Dorian. You are a necromancer. A Tevinter Mage. And these Wardens are being manipulated by a.. Tevinter mage. I don’t want you to get hurt or worse. I think Bull would kill me if something happened to you. Or he’d just go on some weird murderous rampage. Or worse.. He might cry and stab me with his horn when I go to hug him and then you and I would both be dead and everything would just be horrible. Can you see my predicament??” I asked him as I put the shirt on. He just raised an eyebrow at me.

“Fine. Have it your way. You are the _Inquisitor_.” He sounded mildly miffed.

“Dorian, we both know my title means next to nothing to you. You do as you please. But.. in this case. Do as I please and save us both a heaping pile of Bull shaped trouble.” I stripped out of my pants and found a clean shiny leather pair. Put them on and found my gray boots. Went out to the bed, put the boots on. Stood up and went to leave the room, until I heard Dorian cough, loudly.

“Woman, fix your hair. You look like you just had crazy Cullen sex.” I blushed. Went to the mirror.. And oh my. I went about fixing my hair, brushing it out. I fixed the braids and after getting the nod of approval from Dorian, we made our way back down to the hall. I left Dorian in the rotunda and went back to Cullen’s office. Letting myself in the door, I relocked it. The dogs were sleeping by the ladder. I stepped over them and made my way back into his room. He was still laying on the bed, his hand outstretched next to him, like he was reaching for something. I approached the bed, sat next to him. Smoothed the hair from his forehead, tracing the scar on his lip with my thumb. He looked so peaceful. I put my hand against his cheek, leaned down to kiss his forehead and went to get up and leave him sleeping. As I turned to go, his hand caught mine from the bed. I looked back and he was watching me with hooded sleepy eyes.

“Where are you running off to? And where did you get those clothes? Why so many.. Clothes?” he asked, his voice gravelly from sleep. I sat back down next to him, my hand turning in his to link out fingers.   
“Well, I was going to go finish making sure everything is prepared for Adamant. We leave tomorrow.”   
“That answers one question, what about the other two?”

“I woke up and went back to my room to change. Amongst other things.”

“Other things?” I just nodded, offering up no more explanation than that.

He drew my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles lightly. I sighed. He started to pull me closer to him. I shook my head.

“I just fixed my hair Cullen. And put on nice clothes!” He laughed softly. And didn’t cease.. Pulling me closer still. Finally he gave a yank and I was sprawled on top of him. “Much better,” he said. I tried to roll my eyes but couldn’t stop looking at his face. He looked.. So refreshed and alive. Happy.   
He put his arms around me to keep me there, cemented to his chest. I laid my head down, pressing my ear to his chest. His heart was beating so strongly, a beautiful rhythm.

“So it’s decided then. We leave tomorrow?”

I nodded against his chest.

“Will you give me tonight?” he asked tentatively. I nodded again, and whispered, “There is nothing I’d like more.”  
His heart picked up its pace, just a little bit. I lifted my head, kissed his chest where I’d been listening, and looked up at him. He smiled at me, a kind and heartfelt smile. I smiled back, scooted up his chest and kissed him. Full and hot, my hands caressing his face as our tongues slid across each other. He sighed against my mouth and slid his hands up and down my back. Then tried to slide them up my shirt. I pulled away and he just smiled at me. And slid his hands up further. They were on my ribs, just below my breasts. “We have things to do, Commander,” I tried to admonish.   
“You are so right. We .. have things to do.” His hands slid up a little further, his thumbs brushing against the underside of my breasts. I lifted myself to try and get off him, and he took that as an invitation.. Sliding his hands up and grasping a breast in each hand. I sighed. His hands were like magic. Stealing all sensible thoughts. Straight from my head. His thumbs were brushing my nipples, just light little soft touches. Nonetheless, they hardened under his attentions. I sat up and straddled his waist, sitting on his pelvis. His hands never left my chest, buried under my shirt. I began unbuckling my shirt, and when the last buckle slid apart, he stared at me with a new fire in his eyes.   
“You are the best distraction I have ever met,” he whispered harshly. I shrugged off my shirt and leaned down to kiss him again. His hands stayed on my chest, thumbs slowly making me crazy.

“You know, I’m supposed to be meeting with the quartermaster,” I said between kisses. “What quartermaster?” he asked with a grin, making me roll my eyes. He finally wrapped his arms around me, then rolled us on the bed, until I was under him. “Oh, right where I want you,” he said. I just arched an eyebrow, “What if I have you .. right where I want you? And I’m just letting you think this was all your idea?”

He laughed, and sat up to kneel between my legs. He unbuttoned my pants, and pulled them down, helping me remove my legs from them. He laid himself on top of me, his hands coming up to my face. “You are so beautiful,” he said quietly. I couldn’t do much other than blush, closing my eyes and waiting for the flush in my face to pass. He kissed me then, full of passion and need, a mad dash of tongues and want. He slid a hand under me, and keeping his mouth on mine he sat us up on the bed. My chest pressed against his, we kept kissing. I wrapped my own arms around his neck and pressed as close to him as I could. He growled in my mouth, his hands moving to take my legs and wrap them around his waist. He guided his cock to me, and slid it inside me. I gasped against his mouth, pulling away and closing my eyes. His hands on my hips, he lifted me, and lowered me, just enough. I started moving with his hands, lifting and rocking my hips. The friction we were creating was.. Intoxicating. I gripped him and we moved, our faces close but not touching. I opened my eyes and watched him even as he watched me.   
And we continued that way.. This slow tangle of limbs, our bodies pressed close and his cock moving inside me slowly and amazingly. That amazing pressure built up, pleasure and heat and desperation. I was whimpering, and his eyes were so dilated, and focused on me. And I couldn’t look away, his concentration was mesmerizing. He gripped my hips, and started thrusting faster, holding me still. Ah the heat… nothing like the heat he created in me.

“Please.. Cullen please,” I whispered, my voice breaking as I pled for him to take us over.

“For you? My pleasure…” he whispered back. He pushed me back onto the bed, me still wrapped around him, and he took my mouth as he thrust faster, this steady maddening rhythm. He held me as I came undone beneath him, gasping into his mouth as I orgasmed. He gripped my hips, and ground himself into me as he came with me, our bodies throbbing and pulsing, hearts racing. He slowly collapsed on top of me, his breathing as labored as mine. I held him there, as we came down from the high that we just shared.

His head was next to mine on the bed, and we just laid there, tangled together and in a perfect moment of peace. My hands were rubbing his back, absentmindedly.   
“Cullen?”

“Hmm?”

“You make me happy,” I whispered. Afraid of the confession. He lifted his head and looked down at me. “Do I now?” he sounded almost smug. I nodded. And received a sweet kiss. “Well then we’re even.” I just sighed. Someday. He might tell me.   
He rolled off me and laid on his back beside me, our bodies both slick with sweat and still trembling. I tried to sit up, only to be pulled back onto the bed. I looked at Cullen, and he just smiled at me.   
“I really have things to do, and so do you,” I said, trying to sound serious.

“But we did things, just now. Really great things. Things I really enjoyed,” he chuckled. I just shook my head and rolled away from him before he could catch me. I stood next to the bed looking for my clothes. I found my pants, and bent to put them on. He rolled onto his side and watched me dress. I was looking around for my shirt, when he pointed it out on the other side of the bed. I walked over to get it, and he sat up, motioning me towards him. I cocked an eyebrow.. “Uh no. You have had enough, young man,” I said, snark very evident in my tone. He laughed. “I promise, no nefarious thoughts in my head, whatsoever.” I walked to him and he stood, helping me put the shirt on, and buckling it himself. When he finished he put his arms around me and pulled me close.   
“Thank you.”

I looked up at him, “What for?” I asked.

“You.. I felt you today. While I was sleeping. I know..” he coughed, clearly not enjoying this. “ I know you helped me in my dream, nothing else made sense. I felt..” and he sighed. “I felt like the weight of the world was gone and it was only you and I.”

Tilting my head to the side I considered how to reply. “You were.. You were terrified, Cullen. I couldn’t just watch you suffer like that. So I tried to help, and anchor gave us more than I bargained for. I’m sorry if I saw too much..” he shook his head and interrupted me.   
“You saved me from hours of torment and a raging headache later. Thank you.”

And it was as simple as that. I reached up and pulled his face down to mine for a kiss. Sweet and tender. “You’re welcome. Now get dressed, we have things to do.” And before he could stop me I pulled away and descended the ladder, much to the delight of the two dogs waiting eagerly for me at the bottom. I sat and played with them while I waited for Cullen. A few minutes later he came down, wearing his customary armor. I whistled appreciatively. Couldn’t help it, the man was sexy, no matter what he was wearing. That uniform in Hilamshiral? That was fun to watch him in, and even more fun to remove. He just smirked at me and helped me off the floor.

“My what a handsome Commander you are,” I teased. He just blushed and unlocked all the doors, opening the central one, allowing the dogs to gallop out of the room ahead of us. I took his hand and we walked back to the hall.

Leliana was awaiting us inside the rotunda, and asked us to join her. We followed her up to the rookery. She sat us down at her table and sighed. “We received a missive from Garrett Hawke and Alistair, the Grey Warden. They reached Adamant and their news is.. Not good. It seems the Wardens there are desperate, after that line of crap Erimond fed them, and they're summoning and binding demons. A lot of them. They couldn't get close enough to get any better information on numbers and such.”

I rubbed my eyes and thought about what she said. It seems like we really have no choice but to get there as soon as possible. I had a bad feeling about all of it. I shook my head.

“I guess we should get a move on then. Can you let everyone know, Leliana? We'll need everyone making sure they're ready by morning, we leave sunrise.”

Leliana nodded and got up, but paused before leaving. “Inquisitor. I know Alistair, the Grey Warden with Hawke. He's a decent Warden, and a better man than most I’ve known. And Hawke, Garrett is a man who extraordinarily horrid luck follows like a lost puppy. Be careful with them, please.”  
I nodded, not much I could follow that up with. “I’ll try my best, Leliana.”   


  


**Later That Night -**

 

Laying in my bed, Cullen curled up against me, we laid there after having an amazing evening. The whole group had had a feast in the hall, the castle cook had out done herself tonight. Everyone feasted, and talked, and enjoyed their evening. Iron Bull and Dorian had retired early, and before 10pm everyone had retired for the evening. Cullen had brought me upstairs, and we had made love again, talked, and planned. He would be marching with his men, and I would travel with Iron Bull, Solas and Cassandra ahead of the main group, to rendezvous with Hawke and Alistair. Dorian wasn’t all that happy at being left at the keep, but Bull promising him all sorts of favors for after we returned placated him some. I just wanted the whole thing to be done.   
“Aurelia?” I hear from behind me.

“Cullen?”

“Do me a favor?”

“What would that be?”

“Come home.” I sighed and rolled over to face him.   
“You know I can’t promise that. I can.. I can promise to try and fight my hardest to come home to you,” I said with a small smile. We both knew better than to promise that. But promising to try was nearly as reassuring. And he seemed satisfied with the answer. I scooted closer to him, pressing my face against his chest, just inhaling his scent.   
“Cullen. I’m tired. We have had a long day. And do you realize we.. we had sex 3 times today?” I was blushing furiously against his chest. I could hear his chuckle, feel the rumble against my face. “Was 3 times too much for my lady Inquisitor?” he asked.

“Ah, no. I’m pretty sure it was far too enjoyable to say it was too much. Far, far too enjoyable. Let’s try for 4 times next time we go crazy, alright?”

He outright laughed at that. “We’ll see what we can muster.” I sighed and closed my eyes, my hands folded against his stomach. I was starting to lose my grip on consciousness.

“Cullen,” I whisper.

“Aurelia?” was his own.

“Sleep sweet,” I say before drifting off.

 

**Overview Of The Following Battle -**

 

 **They made the hard march to Adamant Fortress. The Inquisition forces took on the Wardens who were under Erimond and Corypheus’ control, and while they were able to talk sense into some of the Wardens, a good portion of their mage’s perished in the ensuing fight. The Inquisitor and her group fought their way into the inner courtyard where the Warden Commander Clarel was in the process of pulling an extra special demon through a rift for another binding ritual. Aurelia, Hawke and Alistair pled with the Wardens to abandon their plan, and managed to convince most of them that they were being controlled using their taint and fear, by Erimond and Corypheus. When Clarel tried to halt the summoning, Erimond brought in his new friend, the corrupted Dragon that Corypheus was so attached to. Clarel attacked Erimond and chased him up the remaining tower. After a bloody battle in the courtyard, Aurelia and her 5 companions gave chase to Clarel and Erimond, hounded the whole trip up the tower by the dragon. Cullen and his forces secured the fortress. He watched in horror as Aurelia and her group were cornered by the dragon on a crumbling bridge above the keep.** **  
** **As Aurelia and her group steeled themselves to battle the dragon, Warden Commander Clarel gave her life in a last magical attack, taking out the dragon. But.. in the dragons haste, it took out the bridge. And everyone on the bridge.**

**The soldiers in the keep just watched in horror as the 6 people on the bridge fell, and even more horror befell them as they saw a rift open beneath the falling rubble and people.. And them all disappear inside it, with it bubbling closed behind them.**

**Aurelia, Hawke, Alistair, Cassandra, Iron Bull and Solas found themselves physically in the fade. Solas was notably excited, Bull was pissed, Cassandra was struck silent. Hawke and Alistair both seemed to have little to say about the fade itself. After much back and forth, and some surmising and theorizing, Aurelia and Solas decided to head towards a rather large rift they could see in the distance.** ****  
**The air around them had a green tint, sick and thick. They battled through spirits and demons, and were eventually approached by the Divine herself. Or a spirit looking like her? Either way.. It was unexpected. Cassandra was dumbfounded, and totally unsure of what she herself was seeing. The spirit helped Aurelia recover the memories that had been taken from her the night the Temple exploded. As they made their way to the massive rift, Aurelia collected more and more memories. Eventually coming to piece it all together, that Corypheus had already had some of the Wardens under his control, they were the ones attacking and holding Elthina prisoner as Corypheus used the Elven Orb (the same one he had attacked Aurelia with in Haven) on her. Aurelia had interrupted the process, grabbing the orb when Elthina knocked it free of Corypheus’ hand. Thus she received the mark on her hand, the anchor that was the bane of her life at this point. There was no miracle or divine intervention. Just really awful luck.** ****  
**Problem was.. Everyone with her witnessed the memories she was retrieving. Thus, Hawke and Alistair argued. About how the Wardens were corrupt and it was their fault everything happened. Alistair defended the Wardens, blaming Corypheus for using the taint against them in a deplorable way.** ****  
**Aurelia had to break up the argument however.. Because while both had their valid points, neither would help them escape their current predicament.** ****  
**They finally managed to make their way to the rift, but of course, waiting there was the Nightmare demon that had taken Aurelia’s memories. They fought his highest lackey, and after numerous injuries and a fight to rival most of their other fights, Aurelia, Hawke and Alistair were able to hold off the other demons for the rest of the group to make it through the rift. As the three turned to make their own escape, the Nightmare demon came back, and blocked their exit.** **  
** **Alistair, of course, offered to stay back and occupy the demon so Hawke and Aurelia could escape. And again, of course, Hawke argued, stating that the Wardens needed Alistair to rebuild and fix what they had done wrong. As they argued, the demon was closing in on them. Aurelia was about to intervene when Hawke made the decision for her. He pushed her and Alistair towards the rift, and before they could respond, he was yelling to tell Varric goodbye for him, and asking the Maker to help Fenris forgive him. Before they could stop and think, Aurelia and Alistair made a break for the rift, jumping out of it smack in the middle of the keep.**

 **Aurelia stood and using all the fury she could muster, she used her hand and closed the massive rift like it.. Was nothing. The demons in the keep all perished as the rift closed. Her soldiers cheered and confirmed the deaths of the demons and surrender of the remaining Warden mages. A scout informed her that Erimond had been found in the rubble unconscious, and was already on his way back to the Skyhold, with a slew of Templar guards to keep him in check. Cullen just stood at the back of the courtyard, letting Aurelia talk to the remaining Wardens. Somehow Varric had shown up, in time to see only Aurelia and Alistair escape the rift. She tried to explain to him what happened, but he left before she could.** **  
** **Aurelia decided to keep the Wardens. She knew they were still susceptible to Corypheus but she also knew they were the world’s last hope against another blight, and couldn’t in good conscience banish them. Alistair took his leave, saying he would head to Weisshaupt to inform the Wardens there what had transpired here.**

**Adamant Fortress was all but destroyed in the battle, a very broken shell compared to its former magnificence. The inquisition forces buried the dead Wardens, and transported their own dead back to Skyhold for services and internment. The bulk of the Inquisition forces miraculously made it through the grueling battle at Adamant. There were losses, more than some would have liked but still, a majority of their people made it home, mostly whole and praising Andraste they were alive. Aurelia was quiet all the way back to Skyhold. She acknowledged people, answered questions but was pretty monosyllabic for the ride. Cassandra and Iron Bull kept an eye on her, but there wasn’t much they could do. They knew that Hawke staying behind was the reason for her withdrawal. And neither of them could find the words to shake her from whatever gripped her.**

 

**2 Days Later -**

  
Skyhold. We were finally home. I rode into the keep, just past the gates. Silently dismounted, handing my horse off to a stable boy. Then I walked. Through the courtyard, up the stairs to the main hall doors, pushing through those, I walked silently through the hall to my bedroom door, up the stairs.. Out onto the side balcony. And I just stood there. Staring out at the mountains, not really seeing. My mind hadn't stopped racing since we left Adamant. Replaying every second of what we had gone through. Landing on the ground in the Fade.. I was terrified we wouldn't get home. And one of us didn't get to come home.

Too many.

Any at all was too many.

But leaving Hawke? It felt wrong. And dirty. Even though he insisted on staying, it still felt.. Like I had betrayed him.

And Varric.. Would he ever forgive me? The look on his face.. Utter devastation. I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face.

I don't know how long I stood there, on the balcony. Pretty sure it was hours. The sun was going down when I heard my bedroom door open. I didn't even look to see who it was. Heavy footsteps up the stairs. And a sigh from whoever it was. A hand on my shoulder, “Aurelia..”

Cullen. I just turned and buried my face against his chest. I couldn't even cry at that point. I just held onto him as if my life depended on it. He wrapped his arms around me and just let me hug him. I could feel his lips on my head. We stood there until the sun was gone and the new moon was above us. He eventually pulled me into the bedroom, silently stripping us both, carrying me to the bed. He laid down next to me, covered us, and just held me some more. I curled against his side, my hand splayed over his heart, the steady rhythm there comfort enough to send me into sleep.

 

**\---**

 

**Aurelia slept for nearly 2 days. Cullen and Dorian kept watch over her slumber, each taking shifts in the room to keep her company, even if she was blissfully unaware.  The dogs spent all their time sleeping on the bed with her, fretting over her long silence. She barely moved over the course of those 2 days, really only to curl up against Cullen when he crawled into bed with her. The healers brought in basically told them to let her sleep whatever it was out of her system. She had been through ordeal after ordeal after ordeal, and sometimes a body.. Just needed to shut down for a while to recuperate.**

**Things continued to go routinely at Skyhold, soldiers training, people helping people. Cole stayed with Varric for a while, even if Varric was only partially aware of his company.**

**Life continued, as it always does.**

**Then she woke up.**

 

I laid there, unmoving. Opened my eyes to find it was dark outside. Dorian was sitting on the bed next to me, reading a book. I looked up to find him staring at me, his face almost unreadable. Almost. I detected the slightest hint of relief.

“So you finally wake up, do you?” he asked, his tone light.

I nod. “Well, it's about damn time woman.” I cocked a sleepy eyebrow at him.

“Lady, fetch Cullen,” Dorian said to Lady. Lady perked up, gave a little yip and bounded off the bed to gallop down the stairs.

“Why are you acting like someone died, Dorian?” I asked, surprised at how raspy my voice sounded. He just shook his head, “You've been asleep quite a while, gave us all a bit of a fright. I'll let Cullen explain, though. The man is positively beside himself with worry.”

Dorian got up off the bed, kissed the top of my head and whistled as he left the room. I laid there, almost worried about what he had said but I just.. Had no energy to really care. Lady came racing into the room and jumped onto the bed, happy little noises emanating from her happy little face. And in her excitement she woke Fen, and they both decided to show their pleasure by licking every available part of me they could. Cullen found me curled up in a ball covered by the sheet hiding from the very excited dogs. He shooed the dogs off the bed and have the sheet a yank. Then, with no warning, he pulled me up and into his arms and crushed me against his chest. I just hugged him back, seemed the thing to do.

“Maker’s breath, woman. Never do that to me again,” he said, his voice thick. “Do what?” I asked, my face still against his chest.

“Sleep for 2 days straight. No one could wake you. Not even Solas.”

Ah. Well that explained their weird behavior. And why I felt like it had been a week since I had eaten. I pulled away enough to look up at him. “Cullen, I'm sorry if I worried you.” He just shook his head.

“You can't apologize for something you had no control over. The one.. The one healer said you had been through too much in too short a time. And your body and mind needed time to heal. Solas and Fiona agreed. I can't say it didn't worry me though.” He kissed my forehead. I climbed into his lap and curled against him. Solid and amazing. The man was amazing.

And I sat there, thinking back on what I had seen while I had slept. I had, I admit, thought a good portion of it was real.

“Cullen, I need an odd favor.” I pulled back and looked at him again. “Can you get Solas and bring him.. I need to tell you guys something and.. I can only tell you two. For now. Please?” He just nodded, gave me a kiss, sweet and tender, before lifting me back onto the bed and leaving the room. I got up and put one of Cullen's shirts on, found a pair of pants. Sat back on the bed to wait for them to come. The dogs both came over and joined me, laying their heads in my lap, expecting scratches for their devotion. A few minutes later, I heard the men coming up the stairs. I sighed.

Cullen reached the top of the stairs, and a moment later Solas followed. The dogs got up and went to Solas For their customary pets. I got up and motioned for them to sit on the couch. They did, the pups moving to sit between the men. I paced for a minute, trying to decide how to say it without sounding crazy. I felt crazy for wanting to tell them.

I faced the fire, crossed my arms and just.. Said it.

 

“I think Hawke is alive. In the the Fade still.”

 

Silence, shocked silence greeted me.

“How could you possibly think that?” Cullen asked at the same time Solas said, “You can't be certain of that, there's no way to know that.” I snorted. Closed my eyes and sighed.

 

“You said I was asleep for two days, Cullen?”

He nodded.

“I saw him. It was him, not me wanting it to be him. I saw _him.”_

Solas stood up and started to pace, his mind obviously racing. “How do you know it was him?” he asked me.

“I've had realistic dreams, Solas. This, this was no dream. I'm certain.” He just nodded and continued pacing. Then he stopped. And said only, “I must research this. And consult my ‘friends'. We’ll figure this out. I would, however, suggest you tell no one else until we are certain. Especially Varric.”

I nodded and heard Solas leave. Cullen came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, and we stared into the fire together. Then, my stomach growled. Loudly.

Cullen laughed, “I'm guessing you're hungry?”

“Maker, yes! I thought you’d never offer me food!” He laughed again, and went off to fetch me something to eat. I could hear him yelling that the Inquisitor was awake and the keeps mistress was famished. I just shook my head and waited.

 

Three things I was absolutely sure of right then. First, that I loved Cullen. 100% in love, no holds barred.

Second? The mark was killing me, no question about it. Slowly, but surely. I had seen the damage in the fade.

And third?

  
Hawke was alive. And I was going to bring him home.


	7. Bring Hawke Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the same stand alone chapter I did about Aurelia and Solas working together to bring Hawke out of the fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So - when I wrote this, I had every intention of adding it into the story of Aurelia and Cullen when the time became appropriate. I have re-read it several times and honestly, there's nothing I wanted to change. It worked out the exact way I wanted it to.   
> Please enjoy :D

“Inquisitor!” a voice called, interrupting my train of thought. I looked up and pursed my lips. “Yes?”

“Inquisitor, you are needed in the war room, right away Your Worship!” I nodded to the young page. Gathering the scrolls and books I had scattered on the table, I made my way back into the keep. I shouldered my way into the war room, nudging the door closed with my foot. I barely suppressed a yawn, and realized I was still having trouble sleeping after what had happened at Adamant.   
When I had wound up in the fade with Iron Bull, Garrett Hawke, Warden Alistair, Cassandra and Solas.. Well that was the last thing we had expected. They all survived the rift I had opened. Equal parts horror, fascination and relief.. No one reacted the same. As we travelled through the fade, we met a Spirit.. Or maybe it WAS the Divine herself. This Spirit helped me retrieve the memories that I had lost the last time I had been in the fade. We had found out.. That the Warden mages were under Corypheus’ control by then even, and they were the ones who were attacking the Divine in the Temple of Sacred Ashes, holding her captive for Corypheus.

Hawke and Alistair had fought, about how the Wardens were responsible and if the Wardens weren’t so secretive then maybe this could have been prevented. Neither were all the way right.. But neither was really wrong either. We finally fought our way to the large rift, almost died a couple times. But when Hawke, Alistair and myself were about to escape the Nightmare demon came back… and blocked our exit. Alistair volunteered to stay, but Hawke.. Hawke wouldn’t hear of it. He nearly shoved myself and Alistair towards the rift, telling Alistair HE had to rebuild the Wardens, then he ran off yelling at the demon.. And asking us to say goodbye to Fenris for him.

I didn’t know who Fenris was at that point, but the way Hawke said it, I know Fenris was important. When we returned to Adamant.. Varric was there. And heartbroken when I explained what Hawke had done. I hadn’t seen him in a couple of days, but I had people keeping an eye on him. He finally came to me, let me explain. Told me Fenris was Hawkes lover, a deceased Tevinter Magister’s slave, who had carved a bloody path to be free and stay free of his former master. Fenris had stood by Hawke when they had fled Kirkwall after the rebellion started, helped hide Anders and help the mages and Hawkes sister find somewhere safe to wait the violence out. From what Varric knew, Fenris was in hiding protecting Bethany, while Aveline was back in Kirkwall trying to keep the city safe.

I know Varric was going to write to Fenris… But I couldn’t leave it alone. I know how hurt I would be if I didn’t hear from someone had something happened to Cullen. So I wrote to Fenris myself as well. Explained all that happened since Hawke had joined us in Orlais. Told him that I would keep an eye out and pray to the Maker every day for the return of Hawke. Some would think them empty words, but seriously, if you had met Hawke, you would probably think the same as me.   
There could be a way.

“Inquisitor,” Leliana started. “There is a new rift forming in the Western Approach, out near the ruins of Adamant. There has been no demon activity as of yet, and I have scouts watching it but we thought you should know. This is the first new rift to open since you came back from the fade.”

Cullen cleared his throat, “There are also reports of strange happenings near the opening of this rift. The scouts out there keep reporting they hear something coming from the rift, but no one knows what it is.”

I wrinkled my forehead. “Seriously? A new rift?” They all nodded. I threw up my hands. When would it ever end?! “Alright, Leliana keep your scouts there to inform us if it opens fully or changes in any way. Josephine, can you get the word out to avoid the area for now, please? And Cullen, can you send Grand Ench.. er Fiona to my quarters? You come as well. Maybe Dorian if you can find him. And Solas.” I sighed. They all nodded again and moved to do as I ask.   
After Leliana and Josephine quit the room, Cullen approached me as I stood staring unseeingly at the table. “Are you alright, love?” I nodded. “I dreamed about him again last night, Hawke.”

His turn to nod. “What happened this time?” This wasn’t the first time I had dreamt about Hawke. It was at least the 10th.

“He was playing cards, with a spirit of fortune I think. I haven’t had a chance to discuss it with Solas yet. It felt like a spirit of fortune. He seemed totally unfazed, to be stuck there. I don’t know if it’s real.. It feels so real. But I feel like my soul is just feeding my desire for Hawke to be alive.”

He reached out and pulled me into his arms, and I went willingly. His arms encircled me, and I felt more home than I felt I had the right to. “I wish I could help you sleep,” he whispered against my head. I just sighed and closed my eyes and let myself relax a moment in his arms. Finally, I reluctantly pulled away. Cullen caught me before I could escape, bringing his face to mine for a kiss, his lips soft and warm on mine. I sighed against his mouth, my own opening beneath his. He proceeded to kiss me brainless. When he finally ended it, I stood there with this stupefied look on my face. He smiled a little half smile at me, tipped his head and turned to go. I had to stand there a minute to gather myself.

Maker, that man was something else.

**\---**

A few hours later I received a letter, written in a hand I didn’t recognize. It had been unsealed, as was most of my correspondence. Safety precautions and all that. I unfolded it and read the choppy script written there.

_Inquisitor Aurelia,_

_I hope this finds you well. And I want to thank you for writing to me yourself. I was, of course, devastated when I heard from Varric what happened to Garrett. I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. “I’ll only be gone a few weeks, maybe a month,” was what he said when he kissed me that last morning he was here. He asked me to care after his sister, Bethany. Ah, poor Bethany. She hasn’t stopped crying. In days. I feel like it is my fault, but really, after hearing from you and Varric, I know that Garrett was.. just being Garrett._

_Bethany is insisting I bring her to you. I even had her read my letter from you, but she believes there is more we can do. I don’t dare to hope however, because hope, hope can break you faster than a slaver’s whip._

_We will likely arrive within the week, and will be traveling light to avoid scrutiny._ _  
_ _Please tell Varric thank you as well. I know how he felt about Garrett, this has to hurt him as much as it does me._

_Sincerely -_

_Fenris_

I dropped the letter onto the table. What if Bethany were right? What if there had been more I could have done? I had been so tired.. Injured and emotionally beaten that I hadn’t even dared try to go back to Adamant and see if the rift could be reopened. Or a new one created. I didn’t know what to do now, and it bothered me.

  
Cullen ushered the others into my room a few minutes later. I motioned Solas, Dorian and Fiona to sit on the couch, and had Cullen help me drag the two chairs over in front of it. I took one and he the other.

“As you all know by now, I have been having some rather detailed dreams about Hawke in the last few weeks. Solas feels, as do I, that they are more than dreams. I have an odd connection, via the Anchor, to the fade now. And with Solas’s own connection to it, I want to try and control what happens when I sleep tonight. But I will need all of your help.”   
Solas nodded, “She is correct about her dreams. I felt it last night as well, the connection she made with the fade. The 4 of us have sufficient power to help boost her magical connection to it, and I can help her steer the content of the dream. Commander Cullen, you will act as her anchor. She needs someone of significant emotional attachment to help hold her spirit here. Dorian, there is a book in the library about lucid fade walking. You know the one. Can you bring it? Fiona, I need some lyrium. And your power.” Fiona nodded and went to grab what Solas asked for. Dorian just raised an eyebrow at me, “Oh I have no idea what he wants, Dorian. You may as well get the book.” He shrugged and left.

When just the 3 of us were left, Solas spoke again. “This is dangerous. We are looking to control the uncontrollable. Walking the fade in a normal dream is one thing. Walking the fade on purpose with a purpose.. Much more difficult a task. Commander Cullen, I’m sorry to say your role might be the most difficult. While the Inquisitor is asleep, you must hold her hand. The hand with the anchor. Your emotional connection will help to keep her spirit grounded. It will be.. Uncomfortable.” Cullen, bless the man, just nodded.

I had to give him credit. He just sat in a room with 4 fairly powerful mages and didn't seem to bat an eye. He was finally healing.

Solas stood, “I must go prepare, I will be back shortly.” He swiftly left the room. Cullen looked at me and drew a deep breath.

“Are you sure..?” I just nodded.

“I need to do this. Either Hawkes spirit is trying to talk to me or he is alive in there. And if he is alive, I owe it to him to bring him home.”

Cullen shook his head, “Then we bring him home.”

**An Hour Or So Later -**

Solas had me lay on the bed. Cullen sat at the head of the bed, my head in his lap, my left hand in his. Fiona sat to my right, Dorian to my left, Solas on the bed at my feet. I had to drink some lyrium and prophet's laurel concoction that tasted like death. I already felt so tired, whatever was in that ghastly thing Solas had me drink was working. I could already feel the pull of the fade.

Solas spoke quietly from by my feet. “Inquisitor, I will be with you in the fade. Though not asleep, I can help guide you and keep the dream focused. Will you trust me?”

I nodded, my hand in Cullen's, feeling my mind already begin to slip into the dream.

_I found myself sitting in a field. Everything was kind of hazy, but I felt safe for the moment. I heard someone approaching, saw Solas as the figure drew closer. His elven features were sharper, almost feral looking. His eyes were a striking green, his ears longer and sharper. “Why do you look that way?” I asked._

_“This is your dream, Inquisitor. You control that part of what you see,” was his enigmatic answer. I just shook my head. I could feel another pull, grabbed Solas’s hand and started to walk in that direction. “Can you feel that?” I asked. He shakes his head but follows nonetheless. As I walked, I began to make out the shape of a building. In the middle of this field. The building had a man hanging from the front door. Solas and I exchanged looks, and shrugs. We got to the building and I opened the door. Immediately, sounds of a tavern full to capacity of drinking patrons and party goers poured out. I stepped through the door, pulling Solas with me. I looked over the crowd, seeing no one I could recognize. I made my way through the throng of people, sitting people, people milling around the bar, a few lazing in front of an impressive fireplace. I saw a flight of stairs at the back of the main room, and felt myself inexplicably drawn to them. Pulling Solas along, I ran up the stairs, followed a hallway to the left, then to the right until I came to a single door on my right. It was glowing. I pushed it open and saw Hawke sitting at a table with a gold shining spirit, and a dwarf that looked remarkably like Varric._ _  
_ _“WELL IT’S ABOUT DAMNED TIME!” Hawke yelled at me, leaping to his feet. He barreled into me, hugging me in very strong solid arms. I hugged him back, “Are you alright?” I asked stupidly. “This has been the weirdest ride of my life, Inquisitor. I don’t even know if I can really explain what happened.”_

_The spirit at the table, golden and shimmering, hissed at us. “Hawke, I think you should finish your game before we go,” I whispered, feeling a sense of dread wash over me. My left hand started to itch. I looked down at it, to see an eye glowing in my hand where the anchor is supposed to be. Solas grabbed my hand to cover the eye. “What was THAT!?” I yelled at him._

_“I fear we are being watched, Inquisitor. Your friend is in danger,” he said solemnly. I looked back to Hawke, who was once again engrossed in his game of Wicked Grace with the spirit. The not-Varric was sitting there, talking about all manner of things relating to Kirkwall, Bethany, a woman named Leandra, a Gamlen, a Carver. Never a mention of Fenris though, which I found very odd._

_Hawke whooped when he realized he had won his game with the spirit. The spirit shimmered for a moment, then inclined its head toward Hawke. “You played well, human. You win a boon.”_

_“Let me go,” Hawke stated flatly, his face going expressionless. The spirit inclined its head once more._ _  
_ _“Tis not I who must grant that, you know what holds you here. You are free if you can convince Regret to release you.”_

_Hawke hung his head for a moment, his disheveled hair falling over his forehead. His shoulders sagged. Not-Varric spoke up. “You know what you did Hawke. You left me. You left me behind and you know I died. You left Bethany in the hands of the Templars. Your mother died, because you were too busy being special. Your brother died because you let him attack that ogre. Gamlen is now in jail because you ran away when Anders blew up your world.”_

_Every word sounded like a well aimed chisel, each one striking Hawke with almost insane accuracy. He seemed to shrink before their very eyes._

_“Garrett Hawke,” I whispered to him. He looked up at me, tears shimmering in his eyes._

_“Fenris comes for you,” I say, barely finishing the words before Not-Varric morphs before our very eyes, growing to at least twice my height, looking like a giant horned shade._

_“You know you did wrong Hawke, you were never good enough for your family, always the black sheep, you are why you all had to run from Lothering. I knew you all along, your fears, your selfishness. I saw you for the useless spawn you really were, Garrett Hawke. And you are worthless.”_

_I watched with fascination. The demon was gloating. Rubbing perceived wrongs in Hawke’s face like salt in an open wound. I started laughing. I couldn’t help myself. This ridiculous looking demon was berating one of the most selfless people I had ever met. The demon turned his gaze on me, snarling._

_“You, Herald of Andraste, are a heretic. You claim a piousness you do not deserve, a title which you make a mockery of. Inquisitor, you are a liar, a harbinger of death,” it hissed at me._   
_“You, demon, cannot hurt me,” I stated, coming to the sudden realization I was right. “Demon, you are the one who is useless. Hawke is one of the most selfless, brave, and daring men I have ever met. He would have given his very soul to save the rest of us. You have no foothold here,” I spat at it, my right hand sweeping out to create a barrier around the 3 of us._ _  
Suddenly the building was gone, and in front of us stood the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I grabbed both of them and pushed them away from the building, urging them to run. We ran into a copse of trees, that eventually turned into a tunnel leading into a mountain of sorts. We ran some more, winding our way through this tunnel, Solas having asked a spirit of guidance to light our way._

_We came to a door. A large very ornate door. I pushed it, pushed it again. It didn’t budge. Solas and Hawke gave it a try, shoving with all their might. The door eventually gave, swinging open very slowly. The guidance spirit entered the room first, illuminating piles of skeletons, of all races and species. I recoiled before I could catch myself. Solas blocked my retreat however, reminding me I wasn’t alone. At the far end of the bone strewn room, there stood a gate. Outside that gate was another field, rainy and dark._

_When we reached the gate, it swung open before we even got to it. Behind us we heard a rumbling noise, I turned to look to see, to find the ground behind us crumbling away. I yelled to run, and we ran, through the gate into the rain. Only it wasn’t rain, it was spiders. Millions of tiny spiders, falling from the sky. I raised another barrier, surrounding us as we ran. Solas reinforced it as mine began to fade. We ran, and ran, until we saw another building in front of us. As we got closer, the rain of spiders ceased. And the land around us turned into desert. No more trees, just rocks and sand as far as the eyes could see. And, blessed maker, it was hot. I let the barrier fall as we approached that shimmering building in the distance. As we got closer, I could see what it was.. Adamant Fortress. Or what Adamant would have looked like in its prime. Towering spires, silver Gryphons shining in the sunlight. Huge iron gates filled the giant archways leading into the fortress, with the huge wooden and metal doors behind those. As we got closer, we could see a huge swirling circle of green behind the fortress, shining in the sky. A rift. Maybe even one we could use to get back to our world._

_One could hope_

**Meanwhile -**

Josephine ran into the Inquisitors bedroom, to find the mages all surrounding her, and Commander Cullen holding her hand with her head in his lap. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and at Cullen’s arched eyebrow she said, “There are riders approaching the keep. Varric ran out to meet them, I think it is his friend Fenris and Hawke’s sister, Bethany.”

Cullen smiled, “I remember Bethany. She was sweet and always helped with the children in the Gallows in Kirkwall. Was Varric sure?” Josephine nodded. He sighed.

“Aurelia is in the fade. With Solas. Trying to find Hawke.”

“Oh! Are they really? Isn’t that dangerous? How did they do it? Are they alright?” she shot the questions at him with a mixture of delight and worry riding her face.

He just shook his head. “I don’t know how they are. They went in hours ago. Solas and Aurelia haven’t moved or made a single sound since. I don’t know if I should worry or be glad they don’t seem to be suffering,” he said quietly. “I hope beyond all hope they are fine and have found Hawke. For Fenris’s sake, as well as my own. I don’t know if I could go on without her,” he whispered.   
“You love her then?” Josephine asked with a smile.   
“I haven’t even really told her yet, but what else could this be? I would give anything I have to be there instead of her. Hold the anchor and take away her pain. Save her from the world and beyond. Its heady, and terrifying and it fills me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.”

“I am happy for you, Cullen. You deserve her. She deserves you. You are.. Meant to be.”

He only nodded, and as Josephine turned to go, she heard him whisper quietly, “I hope you are right.”

**In The Fade -**

_We made our way around the outside of the fortress. None of us wanted to see what was inside this version of that formidable keep. As we got closer to the rift, I could feel something nagging at the back of my brain. This feeling something wasn’t right._

_The sky began to darken around us, water started seeping from the sand. Dark green nasty water. I grabbed Hawkes arm before he walked into a hole suddenly appearing before us. Solas pointed, and behind the hole, a form was emerging from the sand. Huge.. monstrous.. Eye after bulbous eye appearing, mottled green-gray skin, tentacles and legs.._ _  
_ _The Nightmare demon._

_Hawke grabbed his daggers. Solas unleashed a fade barrier around us. He looked at me._

_“Inquisitor, you must wake. We have no way to open this rift from this side. I will stay, I will help Hawke fight this demon. But you must hurry.. Go back to Adamant and find this rift. It is the only way you can free Hawke!”_

_“But what about you? What will happen to you!?” I cried. I could feel the pull of consciousness dragging me away._ _  
_ _“Tell Fiona to dose me with more of the lyrium concoction, it will anchor me here for a time. But you must hurry! AWAKE AURELIA!”_

I bolted awake, gasping huge hurried breaths, scaring Cullen and the others. Cullen grabbed for me, crushing me against him. “Maker’s breath, I was worried for you!”

I hugged him back but the urgency I had felt in the fade stuck with me. “Cullen, we need horses, I must get to that rift you told me about earlier. I think that’s the rift I have to open to get Hawke back.”   
I saw Solas laying at the foot of the bed. “Fiona, can you give Solas some of that concoction you all fed me? He is staying in the fade.. To help Hawke fight the nightmare demon again. He said it would anchor him long enough to keep Hawke alive until I could get there.” Fiona nodded, “Of course, Inquisitor.”

Dorian just sat there watching all of this, trying to look bored but I could see he was as relieved as I felt. “Dorian, can you go get Cassandra and Iron Bull? And have someone ready 6 horses to ride?” Cullen interrupted there, “No, make it 7. Fenris arrived a little while ago. Josephine came to tell me him and Bethany are here. They got here a couple hours ago.”   
“Uhm, how long was I in there exactly?”

“Just shy of 14 hours.” My jaw dropped. 14. Hours. It felt like barely a few to us! Dorian nodded to Cullen and went off to get things done.   
“Fiona, can you watch over Solas for me? He should awaken if I manage to free Hawke at the rift. He might need immediate healing if things go badly.”   
“Of course I can. He has helped us greatly, how could I not do the same in return?” she said, wearily rubbing the back of her neck. I went to fetch my armor from my closet.   
“Does Blackwall still have the dogs, Cullen?”   
“Yes, they are fine, Sera keeps bringing me reports on their wellbeing. I think she was actually checking on you but I let her do what she felt she needed to do. We do owe Blackwall a new mallet though.” I sighed. Chewing was their new favorite pastime. Silly animals. As I finished getting dressed, Cullen came to the door of the closet. I stepped to him and asked him for help with a few buckles. He complied, kneeling to help me. When he was finished he wrapped his arms around my legs and pressed his face to my stomach. “You will never know how glad I was to see you awaken,” he whispered. I ran my fingers through his hair, my hands cupping his head. I did understand. I removed his arms, knelt in front of him and pulled his face to mine, capturing his lips in a hot, frantic kiss. When I broke away, he looked like he was going to speak again, but he just shook his head and we left the room to make our way to the courtyard.

Outside, there were 7 horses waiting, Dorian, Cassandra, and Iron Bull were already mounted. A cloaked man and woman were standing near another horse. I didn’t recognize either. The woman turned when she heard us approaching. Oh those blue eyes, this had to be Hawke’s sister. “Inquisitor! Is it true?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper, worry evident in her eyes.

I could only sigh.   
“I have no real answers, Bethany. I am going to try my hardest. But I cannot promise it will work, as this is something no one has ever done before. Do you believe in the Maker, Bethany?” I asked quietly. She nodded. “Pray. Fervently. And keep Varric company. He needs you.” She nodded again, turning to the man standing there. He removed his hood, revealing white hair above pointed ears. There were white lines etched into the skin of his neck. He looked tired. And sad. His green-gray eyes were red. Bethany hugged him, and he returned it, albeit reluctantly. “Be safe, Fenris,” she tells him. Looking at me, “Bring Hawke home.”

I couldn’t even nod. I had no clue if this was going to work. My heart was racing and I knew we needed to hurry. Dorian rode over to me, handed me a paper. “What’s this?”

“This is a spell. A travel spell. It will cut 2 days off our travel and will save the horses. Do you want to use it?” he asked me. I nodded. Anything to get there faster. I turned to Fenris. “You know I am a mage, right?” I asked him. He nodded. “If I use magic to get us to the rift sooner, would you object?”

“A year ago? Maybe. Now? No. If there is even the slightest chance this will help bring Garrett back.. Then we must take it. Please,” his voice cracked. He lowered his head and heaved a sigh. I went to my horse and mounted. I patted her head, and murmured a quiet apology to her. It was going to be a rough couple days. We headed out, leading the riderless horse behind us. Cassandra at the front, Iron Bull leading the last horse. We made our way off the mountain, winding down the path to the hills below. After a few hours of hard riding, I called to Cassandra to halt.

We made our way into a small field, and I explained what Dorian and I were going to do. We had everyone circle the horses, holding hands to connect us all, Iron Bull resting his foot on the last horse. Dorian and I cast the spell, and a swirling purple cloud enveloped us. It felt like we were floating for a few moments, and the horse started to move under us. Thankfully, the purple cloud soon dissipated, and there we stood at our forward camp in the Western Approach. The horses took a moment to get their bearings. And we all took a moment to adjust as well. It felt like being pulled through a keyhole belly button first.

We set out, at a hard gallop, for the north west, the general direction of the ruins of Adamant.

By the time the sun was setting, we had ridden hard for almost 7 hours. We were all hot, sunburned and in need of food. We stopped near a spring of water in a small canyon. We ate a quick meal of hard bread and jerky, filling our flasks with the cool water. Dorian and I went about healing the sunburns. After a few moments discussion, we decided to ride on. The horses were hardy desert horses, Dennet had chosen well. They all ate their fill, drinking from the stream themselves.   
I itched all over. I could feel the rift from here, causing my hand to ache. The pull was getting stronger the closer we got.

We mounted up and took off again. A few hours later we could see a green glow on the horizon, presumably from the newly forming rift. We rode in that direction. My hand started to glow as well, reacting to the rift. The closer we got, the harder the pull. I felt it, the rift. It was pulsating, beckoning almost. We passed what was left of Adamant, and made our way up the hill behind it. At the top, we could see the rift nestled within the valley below. I motioned for us all to stop. I dismounted, walked around for a minute to get my legs back. Everyone followed suit. Iron Bull tethered the horses to a nearby dead tree.

“Bull, you and Cassandra stay here with Fenris,” I started. Fenris looked shocked. “I need to go with you!” I shook my head.

“I can’t have you there, Fenris. I’m sorry. Your.. your emotional connection to Hawke is too great. I can feel it,” I whispered. “The anchor on my hand, it’s the key to the rift but your emotions are running so high, it might affect the way the anchor opens the rift. And I can’t take the risk of that. Neither can you.”

Fenris looked defeated, but nodded his understanding. “Please, bring him back,” he pleaded. I nodded before turning away and closing my eyes. Cullen and Dorian came to me, “Are you ready?” Cullen asked. I opened my eyes, “Let’s go.”

Cullen, Dorian and I made our way down into the valley. The new rift was a shimmering globe of green light just dangling above the ground. I could feel the tug, and ripples of light flashed from my hand in time with the rift. I looked to Cullen, “I have to open it now, I can’t wait. Be ready, I don’t know what will come through.” He nodded. To Dorian I said, “Dorian, I need you to keep Cullen shielded. No. Matter. What!” He also nodded, and I turned back to the rift.

I walked forward, raised my hand and released the power. I felt it ripping through my hand, like shards of hot tiny glass, the pain was immense. I fell to my knees, crying out as the rift finally bubbled open, seeming to shatter the air around it. The force blew me backwards into the sand. And there it stood, a massive rift, through which I could see Solas and Hawke battling the nightmare still. Both were bloodied and battered, but thank the Maker, still alive!

I climbed to my feet, looked to Dorian, looked to Cullen and made a running leap for the rift opening. I could hear Cullen yelling after me, and Dorian stopping him. As I was sucked into the opening, I felt the ground harden beneath my feet, and there I was, standing on the rock in the fade behind Hawke and Solas. I yelled out, “Hawke! Solas!” They turned and the look of pure joy on Hawkes face almost broke me there. Behind them the nightmare demon screamed in rage. Solas pushed Hawke towards me, and Hawke started running to get to me. The nightmare demon screamed and made a giant leap towards us, hitting the ground and causing a tremor of rock to shove me back out of the rift. I flew backwards, screaming as I fell through and hit the sand. I scrambled to my feet again, yelling for Hawke, over and over. I could hear Fenris yelling and running towards me.

But I could hear nothing. The rift made no sound, just silently stood there, swirling and green in front of me. Cullen grabbed me from behind, as I tried to rush forward to enter the rift again. I was yelling, Fenris was yelling. A flash of light from within the rift almost blinded us. I covered my eyes and Fenris fell unconscious before the rift, calling Hawkes name as he fell.

I saw something then, moving towards the rift, and a hand, scraped and bloody, reached through the rift opening. I cried out, and raced towards the rift. I managed to grasp the hand, and started to pull with all my might. I pulled for what seemed to be forever, when suddenly it felt like the rift gave way, and out shot Hawke, barreling into me, knocking us both into the sand. I laid there stunned for a minute, and Hawke was unmoving. I could hear everyone behind us, come to a crashing halt. Silence fell over the valley, the rift still just floating there in the sky. I raised my hand from the ground, and unleashed the power to seal the rift. The rift bubbled closed again, and the green light faded into the night.   
Dorian came over and placed his hands on Hawke, healing him. Hawkes eyes finally opened, blue and confused. I shoved him to get him off me, and he scrambled to his feet. He looked around, and saw Fenris laying there. He coughed and ran to him, kneeling beside him on the sand. He leaned down, and placed a hand on Fenris’ cheek, patting him and whispering his name.

“Fenris.. Fenris come back to me,” Hawke whispered urgently. After a minute, Fenris’ eyes opened, once, then twice. And you could see the change over come his body as he recognized the face above his. Hawke caught his face between his hands, his forehead moving to rest on Fenris’. They sat that way for a minute, just staring into each other’s eyes. Then Hawke, bless the man, kissed Fenris like there was no tomorrow. Fenris’ hands came up to hold Hawkes in place, tears leaking from his eyes as he returned the kiss. Iron Bull cheered them on, Dorian tsk’ing at him. Cassandra just watched quietly, not wanting to intrude. Cullen came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I just sighed and leaned against him.

Hawke and Fenris finally got off the ground, and holding hands they approached us. Hawke grabbed me first, pulling me into a bear hug, with Fenris joining, me between them, them both murmuring thanks and we-can-never-repay-you’s. When they released me, Hawke said, “How did you find me?” I just shook my head. “It’s a much longer story than I can tell right now, but I had help. A lot of it. And you, you are home.”

**\---**

The sky was starting to lighten to the east, and they all made their way back to the horses, to mount up and head to the nearest camp. As they rode, every time Aurelia looked back, Fenris and Hawke were side by side, deep in conversation or riding in companionable silence. They camped for the day, everyone sleeping like dead people. Well most of everyone, Fenris and Hawke took a tent by themselves and spent the day quietly making love and reassuring each other. Aurelia slept deeply in Cullen’s arms, spent after days of non-stop stress. Cullen slept on and off, but mostly kept a watchful eye on his Inquisitor.   
That evening, they broke camp and, using the travelling spell again, Dorian and Aurelia magicked them almost home. They arrived in the clearing at the foot of the mountain leading up to Skyhold. They made their way back up the mountain, conversation ranging from what Hawke saw in the fade, to how things had been since Adamant. He was astonished at how much time had passed. Iron Bull kept sassing Dorian about using magic to get home so they could be alone. Cassandra just kept up a conversation with Cullen about anything other than Bull’s antics behind them.

They finally made it back to the keep, and out the gate came running Bethany, who barely stopped before Hawkes horse ran her over. He jumped off and grabbed his sister, hugging her tightly. She was crying and laughing. It was a beautiful thing to witness, Aurelia was glad she got to see it.

Bethany finally broke away from her brother and approached Aurelia. She pulled Aurelia into her arms, hugging her tightly. “I can never ever thank you enough for this. He is the only real family I have left. Fenris was a poor replacement, always grouchy. He meant well but.. Honestly.. Garrett is the glue with us. Thank you. Thank you so much, Inquisitor. For bringing my brother home.”


	8. Apologies and Whispered Pleas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurelia and Cullen make some heartfelt revelations, Varric finally comes to his senses and good times are had..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any typos.. I was typing this on my phone and the laptop, and had a hole in my finger that was persistently annoying. But Aurelia wouldn't be silenced... SO! I tried to read through and catch any but if I missed anything, please let me know!  
> Enjoy :D

**Aurelia -**

The next evening, I was sitting on the wall above the tavern, watching the celebrating below. Varric was beyond ecstatic to have his friend back. Fenris couldn't stop watching Hawke and Bethany was glowing with happiness. I sighed. Varric still hadn't really talked to me. Not since I had gotten back from Adamant. I mean we had “talked”, but it was all cold and superficial. “Sure, Inquisitor, whatever you say,” kind of cold. I missed Varric. He was one of my first friends outside the circle and I didn't know what to do to fix things. 

I looked across the keep to see Cullen walking to his office over the bridge. He stopped when he saw me, waved and tilted his head. I blew him an overly exaggerated kiss and I could see him laugh and continue to his office. 

I heard a noise and looked off to the right to find Fenris standing there. I nodded a greeting. 

“I saw you standing up here, thought I'd come invite you to join us. Do you want to?” he asked. I shook my head.

“Varric doesn't want me there. I was just making sure everything was good before I headed up to bed.”

“Are you sure about Varric? He talks an awful lot about you.” I just shook my head again. 

“He was so angry with me when I came home and told him Hawke insisted on staying in the fade. Nothing I said convinced him it wasn't just my decision. I think I broke our friendship that day. He hates me, Fenris. I killed his best friend. And even now, with Garrett back, he can still barely look at me.”

Fenris sighed and climbed up to sit next to me. “Garrett and Varric have a very... unique friendship. They're more than friends, after everything they went through together. Varric's real brother tried to kill him a couple times, and Garrett was there to pick up the pieces. They're complicated. Took me a bit to see past it myself.”

“Varric is something else huh?” I asked, a wry smile tugging at my lips. Fenris laughed. “That he is! You should come back with me,” he started to say. I shook my head again. “I'm not up for more rejection tonight, thank you though. Give Garrett a hug for me, will you?” I climbed to my feet and left Fenris there, heading back into the keep before he could change my mind. I got to the main hall door, opened it to find The Iron Bull standing there. 

“Hey, boss!” He greeted me. I grunted. He laughed.

“I never took you for a coward before..” he said with a smirk as I tried to go past him. 

“Coward? Really?” I hiss at him. He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “Did you miss the events the last few weeks?” 

“Nope. And you've let Varric run roughshod over you in regards to this whole Hawke thing. Stand up for yourself, boss. You'll feel better for it and I'll not have to watch your mopey face anymore.” 

I laughed. Damn the Bull, I laughed. He patted me on the head, messed with my hair and exited the keep whistling. I grumbled and attempted to smooth the hair down. I made my way to the kitchens, hoping to snag some food before heading to my room. The cook was there.. With a tray of fruit, meat and cheese and some warm bread. And some honey mead. The woman was a goddess. And she still refused to tell me her name so I could sing her praises. She clicked her tongue at me and sent me out of the kitchen with my loot. 

I made my way up to my room, to find Fen sleeping next to the fire. He perked up when he smelled the meat I had. I sat on the bed. He whined and stretched, then came over to the bed to sit with me. He laid down, his big brown eyes watching me and silently begging for some meat flavored love. I scratched his head, “At least you still love me, huh?” I asked him seriously. He licked at my hand then pointed his nose at the tray. I laughed and shared a piece of meat. He happily chomped on it while I mindlessly ate some of the fruit. 

We sat there eating for a bit, him staring at me mournfully when he finished off the meat. I offered him a bite of cheese but he turned his nose up at it snobbishly. “Really, Fen? You can eat the nastiest frogs in the marshes but not a piece of cheese?” 

He whined pitifully. I raised my eyebrow at him. He laid his head on the bed looking away from me.. But every now and then peeking at me to see if I was still out of meat. Incorrigible. I offered him a bite of apple. He snorted at me. Bread? Nope be just yawned. Incorrigible!

I took the tray to the dresser and went to the closet to change. Found a pretty purple nightgown, satin and girly. I changed and grabbed an extra blanket. Went out and sat on the balcony, watching the sky and waiting for Cullen. Maybe he would have some words of wisdom to impart too. 

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, I had a face full of dog tongues and happy whines. I opened my eyes and laughed at their antics. Fen and Lady were both vying for my attention, so I pulled Fen to one side and started petting on them both, which made them very, very happy. I looked up to find Cullen standing there in just a shirt and pants. Barefoot and no longer ‘Commander’. “Well hello,” I said, my voice thick from my unintended nap.    
“Hello to you too,” he answered, smiling at the dogs getting all my attention. “If they weren’t so damned lovable, I would be jealous of all that love you are showing them,” he teased. I just smiled, and kept on giving the pups their desire, pets and love. They eventually gave up on me though, and made their way inside to snuggle on my bed. I held my hand up to Cullen, who pulled me to my feet. The blanket fell off my shoulders and fluttered to the floor. He raised his eyebrows at me, and I just shrugged. “It was pretty. And it’s so soft.” He just stared at me, and I could feel myself starting to blush as he just looked me up and down. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, pressing close to his chest. He held me, his arms warm and much more of a comfort than I first thought. I sighed. He sighed. And just stood there for a few minutes, content in each others presence.    
I eventually pulled back, just enough to look up at him. He raised his hands and cradled my face, his face coming down to mine to take my mouth in a kiss. Soft and tentative. But worth a thousand words. I opened my mouth under his, and his tongue stole in to caress mine. I closed my eyes and drowned in the kiss. He broke the kiss, and bent down to get the blanket from the balcony floor, wrapping it back around me. Then he turned us around, backing me up against the outer keep wall. His mouth captured mine again, and his hands caressed me through the nightgown. My nipples hardened under his hands, and he smiled against my lips. I reached between us and slid my hand down his stomach, to touch the bulge in his pants. From his sharp breath, I figured he was enjoying himself as much as I was. His left hand slid down my stomach, my hip, down my thigh, to grasp my nightgown and start pulling it up. My right hand moved to cover his, helping him raise it, inch by excruciating inch. When he felt the skin of my thigh, he trailed his fingers upwards, this light touch, raising goosebumps on my skin. His hand slid between my legs, and found me wet with need.

He pulled his mouth away from mine, propped his right hand on the wall above my shoulder, lowered his forehead to mine as his left hand parted me, and slid against me, making me moan. He rubbed softly at my clit, this quick wet twirl of his finger, making me twitch. He chuckled, and slid the same finger down to my entrance. Slowly slid it inside me, and he watched me intently, as I gasped and tried to keep my own eyes on his face. “It’s so sexy when your eyes go all unfocused,” he whispered harshly. And to punctuate his words, he rubbed his thumb against my clit and slid a second finger inside me. I gripped his shoulders to keep myself upright, my eyes closing and my brain fogging over with the pleasure his hand was bringing me. He slid his fingers in, and out.. His thumb making these slow delicious circles around my clit, making me moan. My legs started shaking as his thumb rubbed and fingers thrust into me, this steady rhythm that was slowly taking the strength out of me. My heart was racing and I kept gasping, until he withdrew his hand. I looked at him, “Oh no you don't,” he whispered. His hands moved to lift my nightgown up around my waist, mine moving to his pants, untying them to free his cock. He gave this low groan as I wrapped my hand around him, hard and hot. I kissed his neck and he shuddered against me, my hands stroking him ever so slowly. 

“Wrap your arms around my neck,” he whispered. I nodded and did so, he gripped my butt and lifted me against the wall. His chest against mine, my face even with his, he smiled at me in the moonlight. “You are so beautiful, Aurelia.” I shook my head and he nodded. “Prettiest thing I've ever laid eyes on.” His voice shook. I could feel myself blushing. 

“Cullen, I'm not really..” 

“No. You'll let me have this. You. Are. Amazing.”

I just stared into his eyes. “You think so?”

He nods. “I know so. Want to know what else I know?” My turn to nod.

He brings his face to mine, his mouth a breath away from mine, “I love you, Aurelia,” he whispered so quietly I wasn't sure if I heard him right. My eyes widened. “You what, now?” I asked, my voice cracking. 

He shifted me in his arms, and guided his cock to my entrance.. “I. Love. Every. Single. Piece. Of. You,” he said slowly, as he slid into me. He held me there, sheathed inside me, hot and throbbing. He slowly slid himself out of me, “I love your mind,” he whispered as he slid himself back into me. “I love your smile,” and repeated his movements, “I love your heart,” his own voice breaking. “I love how you love those ridiculous dogs,” he said with a smile. “And I love how you love me,” he whispered, his mouth finally claiming mine. I clung to him as his mouth ravaged mine, his hands holding my butt as he drove his cock into me over and over. I came to my senses a bit when he pulled his mouth away to look at me.    
“Stop!” I said, and with a confused look, he ceased his thrusting. I was almost sad.. But I needed to talk.    
“Thank you,” I said before kissing his nose. “I needed to say this and couldn’t think with you moving.” He stared at me and waited. “Cullen, I love you. I have loved you since the first time you talked to me like I mattered. Not the Herald or the Inquisitor.. Me. Aurelia.” He started to smile, a crooked heart warming smile. He shifted me in his arms again, causing his cock to slide a bit further inside me. I gasped, “You, you make me feel whole and alive, Cullen.” 

He smiled even brighter, “Well this is a better evening than I had hoped for.”   
Then he took my mouth again and started moving inside me. A slow grind that somehow.. Felt like more now. My stomach was on fire, my heart hammering, everywhere he touched me a frisson of  _ something _ arced from him to me. Our tongues tangled and his body drove mine closer and closer to that inevitable plunge. I gasped into his mouth as he finally took us over the edge.. He groaned into my mouth, his body shuddering against mine, his cock throbbing and hot as my own body clutched at his. I trembled in his arms, my whole body shaking and twitching. I broke my mouth away from his just to take a deep breath, and he put his head on my shoulder, chest heaving as hard as mine was. 

“Well then,” he said between breaths. I laughed, a low sound that surprised me. “You chose sex on a balcony to tell me you love me?” 

He laughed too. “Well, I tried to tell you before Adamant, but I didn’t want you worrying about it. Or me. And when you came back you were so.. Heartbroken about Hawke, and trying to find solutions that I just went with it. You needed time. I gave you time. And tonight, I watched you during dinner, you watched Varric and Hawke and you looked so sad and I wanted to punch them for making you feel that way. Which was, of course, completely irrational. And then you snuck out and I had to go finish up some stuff before I could get away for the night. Then, I found you out here napping. And you looked so serene, and I had to tell you. Tonight. I couldn’t wait.” I smiled then. Big and bright. “You waited so long, and here I loved you the whole time,” I said, kissing him softly. He carried me into the bedroom, and lifted me away from him onto the bed. He went to the dresser and grabbed cloths, throwing one to me and using one himself. I finished cleaning myself off and got up off the bed. Walked over to where he stood and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my face to his chest. He put his arms around me and we just stood there a minute.    
I pulled away enough to grasp his shirt and lift it over his head. He hooked fingers into my nightgown straps and slid them from my shoulders, and watched it slide down my body to the floor. I turned away and climbed into the bed, scooting the dogs over. They made rumbly noises at me, unhappy I was disturbing their rest.    
I heard Cullen remove his pants, and he doused the candle on the dresser, throwing the room into darkness, with the fire barely lighting a few feet beyond itself. Cullen snuggled up behind me, his body deliciously warm against my back. He wrapped an arm around my stomach, and his other went under my pillow and head. He kissed my shoulder.    
“Cullen?”

“Hmm?   
“I love you,” I whispered.

“And I love you, too,” he whispered back. I sighed and laying there in his arms, I fell into a deep sleep.

**A Few Days Later -**

Cullen and Aurelia fell into a new pattern, a quietly important one. They kept their obvious affection less private now, and everyone was quietly accepting of their new normal. Aurelia was still going out with her companions, closing rifts and helping people. Hunting Red Templars and Venetori, killing demons and bandits alike. They were all kept fairly busy, but when they were in the keep together, Cullen was sleeping with the Inquisitor in her room. They kept the dogs with them at all times while at home, as their hunt for Corypheus and Samson was heating up, and the Iron Bull had already found a couple of Venetori infiltrators with Krem’s help. 

Garrett Hawke and Fenris were going to stay on for a while, and Bethany was going to help with the children mages living in the keep. Varric was still avoiding Aurelia, but no one was sure any more if it was still anger or shame keeping him away. Aurelia missed her friend but respected his distance. The keep was rife with activity. They still had new recruits arriving nearly every day, stragglers from the war, people coming from all over to help defend Thedas. 

Aurelia was heading through the keep, her head down and lost in her thoughts. Fen walked at her side, guiding her to the war room, as she was barely paying attention to her surroundings. As she walked into the hall, Fen paused for a moment. Aurelia caught his stillness and looked up. Varric was sitting there with Fenris at one of the tables. She mumbled something illegible and started walking again. Fen whined because he couldn't leave her and be pet by Fenris at the same time. But he stayed with his mistress. In the war room, Leliana and Josephine explained that Corypheus was ransacking elven ruins all over Thedas, but had been concentrating his efforts in the Arbor Wilds. Morrigan knew of an old elven temple there that held a magical mirror but was protected and so she had avoided it. She took Aurelia and showed her what one of those mirrors did, called an Eluvian. After they returned to the keep, they discussed how they should proceed. Aurelia felt the troops needed a little more time to prepare for the fight that would surely happen when they went to stop Corypheus. 

Everyone agreed and parted ways. Aurelia stayed behind, staring down at their map on the table. Such a simple thing, a large parchment with their continent drawn on it. Pins and tokens marking their ever reaching influence. There were red marks on towns that they hadn't been able to save or salvage. She sighed, bowing her head. So much to do. So much to change. And so little time. 

**Aurelia -**

I looked behind me when I heard the door open back up, and saw Cullen coming back into the room. He came up behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. “You alright?” he asked me. I nodded. “It's so much. They seem so insignificant as pins on a map. But those represent people. Humans, Elves, Dwarves. Sometimes even Qunari. And every action we take, or even inaction.. Causes so much chaos everywhere. I feel like I hold the reins to a thousand horses and if I lose even one all of them will die.” 

“I understand that. It's hard, being the head of such a massive undertaking. We all try to take some of the burden from you. And I would take it all, in a heartbeat, if I could spare you.” 

I shook my head. “I would never let you. Having you, here, makes it better. Inside. I promise.” I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my face to his neck. “Just hold me? Please?” I whispered. He just held me close as my answer. After a few minutes I pulled away, looked up at him. Lifted my left hand and caressed his face. “You are wonderful, Cullen.” He blushed and chuckled. “You're biased,” he said with a smile. 

“Well of course, but I thought you were pretty amazing before I loved you.” 

“Oh really now?” I nodded. 

“One of the first things I saw you do was help a wounded man off the field. No hesitation, no saying ‘man up and deal’, no, you scooped him up and helped him escape. Then the second time I saw you? You were sassing me about being the ‘Herald’ and you, you made fun of your own lofty titles. It was refreshing. And you had this twinkle in your eyes, so I knew you were sincere as opposed to being polite for politeness’s sake. In short, you are amazing.” 

“You saw all that did you? When I first saw you, you were unconscious in the dungeon, with Cassandra and Solas hovering over you, one trying to keep you alive and the other ranging from rage to hate because she was so sure you were the culprit. And you laid there, so pale and serene even. Solas was sure you were going to die. And I prayed then and there that you wouldn’t. Because I wanted to see you smile.”    
I quirked an eyebrow at him. “See me smile?”   
“Aye, even in your serene state, you fascinated me. Later, after the first attempt to close the breach, when you were brought back to Haven unconscious again, I was actually scared I would never get to see the smile. But then.. You woke up, and after I sassed you about your new lofty title, you sassed me back and all was right with the world for a few minutes.” 

I kind of marveled at all he was revealing here. “You weren’t put off by my being a mage?” 

He shook his head. “Any mage I knew who went bad, would never have walked up to that breach and willingly tried to close it knowing full well it could kill them. Not a one. Yet you, you did. You threw caution to the wind and just did it. It was amazing to see.” 

And here I thought he was all stoic and such through all that. “Kiss me,” I whispered. He smiled and complied, his mouth covering mine, his lips warm and inviting. And here, in his arms with his mouth on mine, was home. 

**Later That Night -**

I was looking for Cullen. Him and Lady had gone for a quick walk to get something from his quarters and had been gone a while. Fen and I were making our way around the battlements, in an attempt to avoid everyone down in the tavern. Mainly avoiding Varric. I sighed, making Fen stop and look at me expectantly. I petted his head as we kept walking. We got to one of the empty towers, and as I entered the room, there stood Varric. I made a swift apology and went to leave.    
“Wait,” he said, and I stopped at the door. Fen whined at me, and I motioned him to go. He ran to Varric, all sorts of happy to see his friend again. Varric bent to pet him, and got a face full of licks. I quenched a smile and waited. Varric sighed and stood back up. “It's been brought to my attention that I'm an ass,” he said, a wry smile on his face. I quirked an eyebrow and waited. “Alright I'm a big ass. Hawke, well he and Fenris have both yelled at me, Curly won't even talk to me and I didn't know what to say and ‘sorry' seemed insufficient for how I acted and why couldn't I just come out and say it before now?” He said it all really fast, and I almost laughed at the look of shock on his face. 

“Was that an apology?” I asked quietly.

He nodded, “Albeit a terrible one. I am sorry. Hawke, well he set me straight. About what happened in the Fade.” He started to pace, running a hand on his neck. “How you, you weren't going to let him stay but he insisted. And how he had pushed you and Alistair towards the rift opening and running off before you could stop him.” He sighed again. 

“I'm an ass. Okay? I treated you terribly and I'm sorry. And I miss my friend. Okay?” He looked ashamed. Well and truly. I sighed and relented. 

“Varric. All you had to do was talk to me. And I tried to tell you what I was planning but you would leave every time I came near you.” I got quiet. “You hurt me Varric. In a way I didn't think possible. See, you? You were my first  _ real  _ friend. You didn't even twitch at the sight of my staff or me casting spells. You accepted me 100% from day one.”

He had the grace to look more ashamed. “I know. I'm a jerk. Do you hate me now?” 

I snorted. “I never hated you. Worried about you? Yes. Hated? No. Avoided? Yes. Hated? No.”

He sighed, and sounded relieved. “Forgive me?” 

“Of course. Are you done hating me?”

“You're too nice to actually hate, you know. At first I was angry that you let Hawke die. Then I was angry at Hawke for being so stupid. Then I was just angry at myself. Then, you brought him home. And all I could think was that I was a jerk and who would forgive that? And then Hawke yelled at me. Called me all sorts of inventive names. The man has a way with words. I'm still sorry, though.” 

“I'm sorry too..” I started to say and he shook his head to interrupt me. “You have nothing whatsoever to be sorry about. Hawke stayed behind. You didn't leave him there. The man has an honorable streak a mile wide and it reared its perfectly bearded head that day. I was the wrong one in all this. Can we start over?”    
I stuck out my hand, “Hello there! I’m the apostate mage Aurelia, that also happens to be the Herald of Andraste and the Inquisitor. I also happen to be in love with the Inquisitions Commander and I miss my friend, Varric. Have you seen him by any chance?” Varric laughed. A real, full fledged laugh. I smiled.    
“Well, as your luck would have it Inquisitor, my name is Varric! Can I be your friend instead of that other one who was obviously inferior to me in every way possible?” It was my turn to laugh. 

“Can I hug you, Varric? To cement this new friendship?” I ask. 

He nods and I walk over and stoop just a little to hug him. When I pull away he was wiping at his face.

“Varric Tethras! Are you.. Oh my, are you CRYING?!” I ask in a shocked whisper.    
“No way! No! I just got some dust in my eye! Why are you laughing!?” 

I was laughing, I was almost falling over laughing. The mighty Varric felled by his own apology!! “I promise Varric. I will tell no one you cried when you apologized to me!”   
He threw his hands up in the air and gave up, then bless the silly man, he laughed with me. Fen started pacing between us, trying to figure out what the fuss was. Then the door flew open and Fen dropped into a crouch growling low in his chest, but there stood Hawke, with this beaming smile on his hairy face. Fen ran to him and almost knocked him over in his haste to say hello. Hawke got on the floor with him, “Well hello my other Fen, how are you today?” he asked in a weird childish voice. Varric and I both stared at him, the man was so strange!    
“Are you guys all better now? Will Varric stop being all broody and giving Fenris a run for his money? Are you going to stop being so skittish and come drink with us in the tavern again?” 

“I was not skittish, ish. I was awkwardly trying to avoid angering his majesty. He’s short but he wields a mighty pen. And crossbow,” I whispered loudly, like it was a giant secret Varric shouldn’t hear. He put a hand over his heart and appeared to be ‘wounded’. 

“You slay me, Herald. With your pointy words and hurtful accusations!” he said, with mock dismay. I just stuck my tongue out at him and got off the floor.    
“Can I go find Cullen now?” I asked the two men, who were blocking my way, with my dog. Hawke grinned again, “Never fear, my lady, for I have your Knight Errant down in the tavern. He is currently sitting between Fenris and the Iron Bull. I think he fears for his life if he tries to leave.” He chuckled at the thought of Cullen sandwiched between the two scariest people he know. 

I shook my head and swept my hand out, indicating for them to lead the way to my errant Knight. Tonight was going to be interesting, was all I could think of as I followed the three males from the room. 

Down in the tavern, Cullen was indeed sitting with Fenris and Iron Bull, but he looked like he was having a grand time. They were all laughing about something, and Fenris was going on about some circumstance in Kirkwall that had Cullen blushing. He stood when he saw me, his face relaxing some to see me smiling and walking with Varric. Fen went and laid under the table with Lady. He held out his hand, and I took it. He pulled me into his arms, “Well good evening, Inquisitor,” he said, his voice husky.    
“Good evening to you too, Commander. Might I have a kiss this fine night?” I ask, a smile on my lips. I wasn’t entirely sure what he would do in such a public place. He surprised me, his arm wrapped around me, his other hand capturing mine, and bringing it to his lips. First he kissed my hand, then he pulled me close and captured my mouth. A long, sweeping, thorough kiss, turning me inside out and making me forget where we were. Then I heard it, through the ringing in my ears, a whistle, low and suggestive. Cullen pulled his mouth away from mine, “Well hello there,” he said, with a definite bit of satisfaction at the awestruck look on my face. Bull called out something along the lines of, “There’s an empty table over there if you can’t wait til later!”, and Dorian smacked his arm for being so crude to his Auri. I started blushing, I could feel the heat creeping up my neck. Cullen kissed me once more, fast and sweet and led me back to their table, Bull scooting down so we both could sit. 

And there we sat for hours, everyone talking and drinking and throwing stories around. Varric seemed more himself, telling every exaggerated tale about me and Hawke that he could. Fenris would try and correct him but Garrett would just shush him with a touch here, or a gesture there. 

I kept catching Cullen watching me, and he looked as good as I felt. His eyes weren’t filled with all the doubts and shadows that had been plaguing us for weeks. They were clear and bright and his face was relaxed and happy. Fenris got my attention and was telling me a story about Hawke’s dog, that had come with him from Ferelden. While he was regaling me with a tale about a man found hiding in a boudoir in their house, Cullen put his hand in mine in my lap. And lazily drew little circles on my thigh with his finger. I glanced at him and he was talking quietly to Iron Bull. I turned back to listen to Fenris, my mind torn between the story about their dog and Cullen’s hand. He continued the drawing on my leg, lazy circles with his hand, causing my skin to tingle under the leather of my pants. I was trying really hard to listen to Fenris, I really was but that finger was distracting.    
I tried to hold his hand with both of mine.. But he pulled our two linked away from my other hand. That’s when I realized he was doing it on purpose. That lazy twirl of his finger on my leg.. Sigh. Then I thought.. Two can play this game. I transferred his right hand into my right hand. Still on my lap of course. And I put my left hand on his right thigh. And just sat there for a few minutes, still conversing with Fenris. I could feel his thigh muscle twitch under my hand, acknowledgement if there ever was one. I started to move my fingers, making scratching motions. His thigh twitched again. I smiled, a small smile. Fenris just kept talking. Now he was telling me a story about Bethany and Cullen from Kirkwall. Apparently while Bethany was in the Circle there, she was helping the children who had their powers. And they played a prank on Cullen that made his hair stick crazy straight and stick out off his head. And there might have been smoke. And green fingers? I just laughed and shook my head, trying to imagine a younger, very serious, Cullen in his templar armor trying not to be mad at little kids for being little kids.    
He laughed with us, remarking that the youngest girl involved was all of 7 years old and she had worried he would hate her. He told her that it was ok because she was still learning. And when she hugged him to say thank you, she shocked him and his hair had more fun. It was fun seeing him relaxing with everyone, like he belonged. I slid my hand along his thigh, back and forth, then across it and rested my fingers on the inside of his thigh, about halfway up the length of it. He got quiet on me, like he was listening to Fenris too, but I could feel his awareness. He leaned toward me and put his lips to my ear, “I can’t wait to get you alone. You play dirty.” I just put my head down and smirked to myself. He kissed my neck and went back to listening to the conversations around us. Cassandra was telling some tale that Varric had tried to convince her was real. I only half listened, my mind wandering to Cullen’s fingers on my thigh. His hand was still entwined with mine but his fingers were still drawing little designs on my leg. He had moved our hands up my leg, his fingers leaving a hot trail along my skin, even through my pants. I moved my own hand higher, his thigh muscle bunching beneath my hand. I laid my head on his shoulder and tried to concentrate. It wasn’t working too well. Cullen extricated his fingers from mine and splayed his hand on my thigh, his hand hot, and much larger feeling than usual. Maybe that was just how my brain interpreted it. I slid my hand higher, almost to the junction of his thighs. He did the same on mine. I almost died when he pushed it between my legs, so close to touching me.. Yet not. I slid mine a tad higher, brushing against  _ him _ . He grabbed my hand with his left and leaned down to whisper at me again, “If we were alone right now, I would tear that shirt off you and have you on one of these tables.” I closed my eyes and sighed. I could feel my nipples hardening beneath my shirt and jacket at the feel of his mouth at my ear. 

“You like that idea?” he whispered again, breathy in my ear. Goosebumps raced down my body, and my stomach clenched. I barely manage a nod. He moved his hand, barely had to move it, and it was against me, his fingers pressed against my pants but really.. Were pants a deterrent against feelings? Because I could certainly feel him there. And I was pretty sure I was blushing at that point. He chuckled in my ear, and moved his hand, rubbing against me. I almost expired on the spot. He pulled his hand away and let me have mine back. He started making excuses as to why we had to leave. Then he took my hand, helped me stand and as we made our goodbyes, Bull grumbled something about the Inquisitor getting sex but he was stuck in a tavern full of drunk non-Dorians. I laughed and Dorian blushed, trying to shush Iron Bull and failing.

Cullen practically pulled me from the building, whistling for the dogs, who came galloping after us. We swiftly made our way across the courtyard and into the hall. Cullen dragged me through the hall to the door up to my room. He opened it hard enough for it to hit the wall behind it, and as soon as the dogs and I were through, the dogs took off for upstairs and he slammed the door shut and locked it. And before I could move, I was pressed against the door, his mouth taking mine, his hands lifting my shirt to spread against my sides. I kissed him back, my hands grasping at his shirt to keep him close. His tongue was sweeping in and out of my mouth, his hands sliding up my sides, up my ribs to cup my breasts beneath my shirt. I gasped into his mouth as his fingers grasped and tugged lightly at my nipples. I pulled my mouth away and started to untie his shirt, and pushed his coat off his shoulders, leaving it to fall to the floor. I lifted his shirt, baring his chest to my gaze and my hands. I rubbed my hands slowly down his chest, my fingers tracing scars, grazing his nipples. He pulled back and lifted my shirt and jacket at the same time, over my head and dropped it to the floor. He knelt in front of me then, pressing a kiss to my stomach, then untying my pants. He reached down and lifted my left foot, removed my boot, then repeated the same with the right. Then he hooked his fingers into the waist of my pants and slid them down my legs, and helped me step out of them. He leaned forward again, kissing my stomach, his hands on my thighs, effectively holding me still. He kissed me a little lower, and lower again still. Then he pulled my legs apart, and I stared down at him, staring up at me. “Lift your left leg, love. Onto my shoulder.” My eyes widened. I lifted my leg, settling my thigh on his shoulder. I could feel his gaze on me. Not my face either.    
He kissed the inside of my left thigh, a trail of kisses leading towards my sex. His hand moved to part my lower lips, drawing a low moan from me. He slid a finger along my wetness, to graze it across my clit, making my stomach twitch. He started making these tiny little circles on my clit with his finger, causing a rush of sensation to crawl through me. My eyes closed and I just let myself feel. His finger continuing the slow circles on my clit, he slid one.. Then two fingers inside me. I moaned again, and he continued his attentions like it was the most important thing in the world. He left his fingers inside me, replacing his fingers with his.. Tongue. I gasped and looked down. Nope, I totally felt that right. His tongue twirling around my clit, then his whole mouth sucking on it, with his tongue rubbing it. My legs were trembling and my stomach clenching. My hand made its way into his hair, and I was trying really hard to stay upright. His tongue was working wonders on me, his fingers inside me sliding in and out. I closed my eyes again and bit back a moan.    
His tongue moved down to my entrance, his fingers still pumping inside me, then he slid his tongue back up, to suck at my clit again. I gasped and tried to grip the door, his tongue rubbing and rubbing at me, wave after wave of pleasure shooting through me. He sucked my clit into his mouth again .. I saw stars. I cried out as I came, shudders racing through me, my body clenching on his fingers as his tongue still flicked at my clit. My heart hammering, ears racing, I moaned with each flick of his tongue.. He pulled his fingers from me, licked them clean while I tried to not watch. My knee started to buckle as my body came off of the orgasm he’s just given me, his hands moving to brace my hips against the door. I put my hand on his head, the other covered my heart. Oh, and here I was surprised at how hard it still beat. 

Cullen gave me a lick, then another, making me twitch and have to actively try to not fall. He pulled away and looked up at me, and I slid my leg from his shoulder. He caught me as I collapsed in front of him, chuckling at my inability to keep standing. He set me on the floor, stood up, helped me stand up and then he just scooped me up, and carried me up the stairs. The dogs were sleeping on the floor by the fire, and barely acknowledged our entrance. Cullen took me to the bed and set me down. I scooted back on the bed, turned on my side to watch him take off his boots and pants. He stood there for a second, looking down at me, his hand absently scratching his stomach. He was very aroused, his cock seriously apparent, but he still just stood there. “Are you alright?” I asked quietly.

“Oh, I’m fine. Just marveling at my good luck.” 

I laughed. And still he stood there. I moved to get up and crawled back across the bed towards him. I kneel in front of him, his eyes just watching me. I reached out and grasped his cock, hot and hard, moisture beading at the tip. He took a deep breath but left me be. I stroked him once.. Twice. Leaned forward and licked the tip of his cock, making it twitch in my hand. “Where on earth..?” he started to ask. 

I laughed and said, “I read books, Cullen. And Dorian gave me instructions.” He choked, and from the look on his face he was trying to figure out if it was funny or something to worry about. I stroked him again with my hand, and placed a kiss on the tip, light and wet. He fell quiet again. I licked the head of his shaft again, pulling it into my mouth, him tasting salty and.. Something more. Still holding him with my hand, I sucked him further into my mouth, then pulled my mouth back off again. I swirled my tongue around the head, and he gave a low groan, his hand clenching by his thigh. I slid him back into my mouth, rubbing my tongue down the underside of the shaft, then did the same as I pulled my mouth back, sucking as I pulled. He swayed in front of me, his right hand still clenched by his side. I reached out with my left hand and grabbed his clenched fist, opening his fingers and entwining mine with his. I pulled my mouth off and licked him again, and he took the opportunity to pull me up his body and crush my mouth with his. He wrapped his free hand around my back, and knocked us down onto the bed, his body settling on mine. He drew my hand above us on the bed, his other hand moving to squeeze my butt. I spread my legs and rubbed my foot on his calf. He growled into my mouth, rocked his hips and slipped his cock inside me. I moaned into his mouth as he filled me, his chest crushing mine, his heart hammering as fast as mine was. He pulled his mouth from mine, and looked down at me as he started to thrust his hips, his cock sliding in and out of me, slowly at first, then picking up the pace. My right hand gripped his upper arm, my eyes closing as I just let myself feel. The pressure was building, a delicious tingle of fire inside me, his hand still gripping mine. I was whimpering, as he thrust his hips, sliding into me.. Over.. and over..  He pressed his mouth to my ear, “You are mine,” he whispered, sending shivers through me and making my stomach clench. “Mine, Aurelia, mine,” he whispered again. And that voice, in my ear, sent me over the edge. I cried out again, trembling beneath him, my whole body quaking with the force of the orgasm.. He thrust once .. twice and ground himself into me as he growled through his own release. Throbbing and hot inside me, my muscles still clutching at his cock, I couldn’t stop shaking. His head was pressed into my neck, and both of our hearts were pounding still. And my ears, ringing so loudly, blood still rushing through my head. 

I took a deep breath, well as deep as I could with a well spent man laying on top of me. I rubbed his arm with my hand, his muscles twitching beneath my touch. He kissed my neck and raised his head to look down at me. “I mean it, you know,” he said, his voice rough. He kissed me softly, “You, you are mine.” I could only nod. “And you, Cullen, are mine.”   
“Always,” he agreed, kissing me again, much more thoroughly. When he pulled away again, he sighed. “I love you,” he said quietly.

“And I, well I very much love you too.” And he smiled. A full smile that lit his face, and brightened his eyes. Like it was the best thing he had ever hear. Which for all I knew it was. I know it was for me.. 

A little while later, when we had settled into the bed to actually attempt to sleep, I was laying with my head on his chest, my hand on his stomach. His hand was absently rubbing circles on my back, his hand tangling in my hair. “Cullen?” 

“Yes?”

“What do you think will happen when this is all over?” I ask quietly. “When Corypheus is defeated, the red Templars gone. What will we do? What will… you do?” 

“Before this, before you, I honestly had never given it much thought. Now? After this is done, I pray fervently that we walk out the other side together. You,” he stopped and sighed, his hand touching my head. I looked up at him, “You matter. And I want a future with you.”    
And it’s my turn to smile. I felt it spread through me, happiness. This was worth fighting for. I sat up and moved up the bed, just so I could kiss him. “That is my prayer as well. That you and I make it through this, and more. Because you, Cullen Rutherford, are mine.” He kissed me again.   
“Why did that sound almost ominous?” he asked, a smile tugging at his lips. 

“Because, I have had little in this life that was one hundred percent  _ mine _ . And this?” I put my hand to his cheek, my thumb tracing the scar on his lip. “What we are is worth fighting for. Every second of it.” He nodded, and turned to kiss my hand. I kissed his lips once more, then laid back down, curling my back against his side. He shifted and cradled my body with his. And holding his hand to my heart, I fell asleep in his arms, feeling more at home than ever before.


	9. Surprise at Deaths Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurelia does her best to distract Cullen from the upcoming trip to the Arbor wilds, but is beset upon by her own clumsiness.. or is there more to it?

**Cullen -**

I spent the morning with a fresh batch of recruits, but they looked promising. A couple of them were fairly seasoned by the pool of things. Especially that Reirden, he sounded Orlesian. But not quite. I couldn't place my finger on it. Running my hand through my hair, I paced, losing myself in my thoughts..

In a week we would be heading out. Into the Arbor Wilds. Leliana was sending forward scouts to distract and slow down the Templar’s and Venetori. Aurelia would head out in a few days and I would follow with the bulk of our troops. The worry was gnawing at me. Constantly. It was like this nasty itch at the back of my brain, that sometimes almost drowned out the lyrium cravings. I was dreaming about the things that could happen. And praying fervently that Aurelia and our troops would come through this. And, Maker help me, the prayer for Aurelia was a little louder and longer than the rest. I shake my head when a knock sounds on the center door of the office.   
“Come,” I said, my voice a little rougher than it should be. A scout poked his head in to give me a briefing, along with a few of his comrades. I motioned them into the room. Sat back down behind my desk and let them fill me in on their progress with the recruits and the few little missions I had sent them on. After a few minutes, Aurelia poked her head in the side door, quietly. I saw her, but the scouts didn’t. She stood there by the door, her shirt half buttoned and her hair all messy. She looked all.. Fresh. My heart started to beat. I tried to concentrate on the scout talking, and I was really only hearing every other word. Aurelia sat down next to the door, crossing her legs, leaning forward. And, Maker’s breath, I could see down her shirt. I covered my eyes and tried not to look at her. I asked the men if there was anything else, and one more had something to talk about. Weapon cache’s they had found in the Emerald Graves.

I stole a glance at Aurelia, and she was playing with the laces on her shirt, and every time she pulled one or the other, I could see the top of a breast here, or the side of one there. My eyes almost crossed, and I’m fairly certain I was blushing. And damned glad I was sitting at a desk. I shifted on my chair, coughed. She covered her mouth to smother what I assume was a laugh. 

The scout finally finished prattling on about the weapons and I hurriedly dismissed them. They all took their leave, and Aurelia, bless her, ran to the doors and locked them all. “Finally!” she said, a smile on her face. “I didn’t think that last one would ever stop talking.” I chuckled, and just stayed where I was. 

“What can I do for you, Inquisitor?” I asked, managing to not smile too widely. Maker, she was beautiful. Her red hair was just a little mussed, her face flushed. Her eyes were bright and the gray in them almost white. She stayed by the door, watching me. I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow.

“Do you have some time, Commander?” she asked, her voice a little husky. I coughed. “For you? Whatever would the Inquisitor require my much prized time for?”   
“Oh. Well I had some.. Stuff, that the Commander should.. Inspect.” she said, so seriously. I rubbed my face, she would be the death of me. I put my hand up to my mouth and acted as if I were seriously considering her ‘request’. 

“Please, Commander? It really is.. Needed.” 

I coughed. Trying to cover my laughter. She was trying. I could give her that. “Oh, well if that’s the case. Where is this ‘stuff’ that needs inspecting?”

“I think it’s right here actually.” 

“Oh. Well, pray tell, what is this item in need of inspecting?”

“Can I show you?” I nod. I was fairly certain I would regret this decision. She came walking towards me, shedding her jacket on the way. She came over to stand next to my chair and propped her hip on the edge of the desk. Held her hand out to me. I held mine out to her, she grasped my wrist and pulled it to her chest, splaying my palm over her heart.

She closed her eyes. “Do you feel that?” she whispered. 

“Your heart?” I asked, mildly confused. 

“No.. your heart…” And it broke me. She slayed me with 3 words. My heart started to hammer, my stomach clenched and it was all I could do to not shout that it damn well better be mine because my heart certainly belonged to her.

She opened her eyes and smiled at me. This bright smile full of love. She struck me wordless. 

She leaned forward and kissed me, and I pulled her onto my lap. She sighed as I settled her against me. Her lips were warm and soft on mine, her tongue tasting of berries and wine. I slowly.. And thoroughly ravaged her mouth, drawing her tongue into mine, causing her breath to catch. I put my hand to her neck, holding her to me. Her skin was beyond soft, and so inviting. Always. My other hand moved to the tie on her shirt, opening it further, slid my hand inside to rest on her ribs, just below her breasts. She sighed into my mouth, she seemed almost disappointed. I pulled away, looked into her eyes. Slid my hand up to graze against the side of her breast. Her eyes dilated, and she stopped breathing. I smiled, and moved my hand to cup her breast and she sighed. I pressed her nipple with my thumb, feeling it bead beneath my touch. “Ah, some _thing_ is happy to see me,” I chuckled. 

“Oh, I am always happy to see you,” she whispered, then rubbed her hands down my chest, to unbutton my shirt. Her fingers stole inside and grazed my chest, goosebumps scattering across my skin. She leaned forward and put her mouth to my ear, exhaled.

“Cullen, I read a book today,” she stated.

“Oh.. Really now?” was all I could muster.   
“Ah, yes. It described somethings.. I would like to try.” All the blood rushed from my head to.. Well my pants were getting uncomfortable. Then she stood up, and nudged my legs apart to stand between them. I reached up and pushed her shirt off her shoulders, the front barely catching on her breasts before falling down her body. I put my hands to her hips and pulled her close. I kissed her stomach, and her hands threaded through my hair. I moved my mouth up her chest, tasting her skin as I went. Goosebumps broke out on her skin. I ran my hands up her back, my mouth kissing the bottom of her left breast, then moving to lick her nipple. I kissed it and pulled it into my mouth, hearing her sigh. I looked up at her, and her eyes were closed, her hands still in my hair. Maker, I think I’m going to keep her.

**Aurelia -**

His hands on my back were hot, and his mouth hotter. My skin tingled where he pulled my nipple into his mouth, my stomach a pit of hot nerves. My eyes were closed and all I could do was feel. I shiver in his arms, and remember why I came here in the first place. I opened my eyes to find him looking up at me, this.. Look on his face. Speaking volumes. I leaned down and kissed him, pushing his body as I did, so he was sitting back in the chair. I pulled my mouth from his, and finished unbuttoning his shirt. I knelt between his legs, untying his pants, loosening the laces around his very obvious arousal. His body twitched as I touched him, a sigh escaping his mouth as my hand encircled him. Hot and hard, he fit perfectly into my hand. He closed his eyes as I stroked him slowly, first with one hand, then the other,

I watched his face as I leaned forward and his face.. The shock as I ran my tongue along the underside of the head of his cock. His eyes shot open and he looked like he was going to protest. Until I took him in my mouth. He shuddered, and slowly slid him deeper into my mouth. Rubbing my tongue down his shaft as I moved, he moaned. Pulling back, I sucked and swirled my tongue around the tip, and he drew his hand over his face, his eyes closing again. I grasped him with my hand, and began stroking, my mouth following my hand. Sucking him deep. Pulling back. Every stroke eliciting a gasp or moan from his mouth. After a few minutes he growled at me.

“Not like this,” he managed to say. I pulled away.. “Like what?”

He just leaned forward, gripped my shoulders and brought my face to his, his mouth crushing mine. His hands slid down my back as his mouth ravaged mine, his hands hooking into the back of my pants, pushing them down my hips. He gripped my butt after he bared it, his teeth lightly nipping at my lip. I let him take the lead. I had done what I set out to do.. New and exciting thing, that whole “my mouth on him” thing. And he’s enjoyed it!

He stood us up, his mouth still on mine.. I gasped when he pulled away and turned me away from him. His lips against my ear, “Are we still trying new things today, Inquisitor?” he whispered, sending shivers across my body. I nodded as his hands wrapped around my body, hands cupping my breasts and my back against his chest. I could feel his arousal against my lower back, hot and hard against my cool skin. One of his hands moved down to my stomach, the other sliding lower to slip between my legs. I moaned when his fingers parted me.. Sliding lower, feeling how aroused I really was. Slid a finger inside me, pressing his palm against my clit.

“Is all this for me?” he asked softly, his lips still at my ear. I nodded again, barely managed to whisper a shaky “Yes.” He chuckles in my ear, his hand moving against me, drawing another moan. His hand was relentless in its pursuit of my pleasure, finger thrusting inside me, heel of his plan grinding against me. I was shaking and barely able to stand, his arm around my stomach holding me up.

“You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,” he whispered in my ear. “And every time I'm alone and look at my desk I remember you laying there, naked and writhing beneath me,” his voice in my ear was killing me. His hand rubbing and thrusting, I cried out as I came..  Wave after wave of tremors rushing through me. My ears were ringing and I could barely breathe.

“My turn,” I hear, before he let's me go, kneels behind me and pulls my pants down to my feet, then helping me slip them off. My legs were still shaking far more than they should have been, but he didn't seem to notice. As he stood back up, he turned me to face him, grasping my face and kissing me thoroughly. Slowly and agonizingly, his tongue danced with mine, my hands coming up to hold onto his wrists. He finally pulled away, and I could barely stop myself from following. He smiled at me, this half, sexy smile. And pushed me against the desk, lifting me onto the edge. Then he parted my legs, stepping between them. He gripped my hips, pulling me to the edge of the desk. I could feel the hot tip of his cock, nudging at my entrance.  He gave a slow thrust and slid himself inside me. And he sat there, buried in me, hot and hard and deliciously mine. His face in front of mine.. “Are you alright, Inquisitor?” he asked, his voice husky and barely containing his smile.

“Oh.. I’m just lovely..” I whisper. And really I was. Nothing was more perfect than being completely his, alone and loving each other. He slowly pulled himself out of me.. Then thrust back in. My eyes closed and my head fell back, let Cullen set the pace. And he did.. Not disappoint. He pressed his face to my neck and started to thrust a bit urgently. A quick rhythm that was sending fire shooting through me. The pressure was building in me again, that sweet gripping feeling of needing.. _More._ His hand left my hip, and suddenly it was between us, his thumb finding that bundle of nerves, making me gasp as he rubbed it gently. My hands moved to grip his arms, as he thrust and rubbed at me and melted what little bit of the mind I had left. 

As I got closer, I couldn’t stop myself from moaning, begging, anything. I couldn’t sit still, his relentless hand driving me crazy. I gripped his arms still, the only things keeping me anchored to the desk. And I fell apart, crying out as I came. My body clutching at his cock, sweat coating my skin. Yet still he thrust.. His pace fast and hard, his face a mask of endearing concentration. I reached out a trembling hand, raised his face to look at me. “I love you, Cullen,” I managed to whisper. His face softened, and he leaned forward to kiss me softly. “And I, you, for always.”

And with that, his body tensed and he groaned with his own release. Hot and throbbing inside me, his hands gripping my hips almost hard enough to hurt. His breathing as heavy as mine. He rested his forehead on mine, trying to calm his heart. My ears were still ringing but I couldn’t help but smile at him.

**Cullen -**

Maker’s Breath - she was smiling at me. This bright brilliant heart stopping smile. I’m still buried in her, still throbbing. And she just.. Smiles. “What are you smiling about?” I ask her between breaths.

She smiles.. Bigger. Maker.   
“You. Every time I expect less than before.. Because people become comfortable. But it’s never less, this is never less. And I am beyond glad you.. Are never less. You are Cullen. My Cullen.”

My chest felt tight. Such.. certainty. When all I felt was uncertain. Last night the cravings were awful.. And her sleeping next to me made me feel almost guilty that I wasn’t at my best. She had turned to me in her sleep and settled her hand over my heart and settled me with her touch. So simple.

“Well, I do what I can,” I manage to say. “You amaze me, Aurelia. Never change,” I whisper before kissing her again. She kissed me back, her hands framing my face again. I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her against my chest. We just stayed there.. Kissing leisurely, like we hadn't a care in the world. Eventually I pulled away, enough to bend down and open my drawer for some cloths. I handed her one, and stepped away from her. I cleaned myself off while she attended to herself. I pulled up and righted my pants.

I bent and retrieved her clothes, turning to hand them to her. Only to find her looking at me. “How did you get that scar on your back?” she asked me.

“Which one?”

“The one right below your left shoulder blade. Shaped like lightning..”

“Ah yes. Well that one was a gift from an exploding statue in Kirkwall. One of the ones Meredith brought to life. Varric did love his exploding arrows,” I answered with a chuckle. She laughed, and slid off the desk to start getting dressed. “He still does!” she replied. She pulled her pants on, and pulled her shirt over her head.

“How did you get the scar on the back of your right arm?” I asked her.

“Oh. Uhm. Nothing exciting. I fell off a chair while I was reading,” she mumbled, trying to hide her face with her hair. I laughed. How else? “What exactly were you reading?”

“Oh, a.. Well a..” she coughed. “It was a romance novel, alright? A very dirty one that one of the female Templars in our tower recommended.”

“Oh really now?”

She just nodded, pretending to inspect her nails. “I think she was trying to trick me.. Or I misheard her. It was the strangest book. Involved something called an Antivan Milk Sandwich. And when I read on to find out what it was..” she was now blushing furiously, “someone came into the library and found me reading and in my haste to hide the horrific book, I fell off the chair and hit another chair with my arm. And since it wasn’t a magical injury they just bandaged it and sent me on my way with an elfroot salve.” And she was still blushing.   
“What exactly is an.. Antivan Milk Sandwich?” I ask, honestly curious.

“Oh no. I will never repeat that. Ever. EVER!” she almost yelled, her face going from red to white. I was trying hard not to laugh but really, her face was comical. “Alright. Calm down..” I held my hands out to appease her.

“Speaking of sandwich, I am hungry. How about you?” She gave me this suspicious look. Grabbed her jacket from the floor and tried putting it on, but was still a bit too flustered to get the sleeve to work. I reached out and took it from her hands, righted the sleeve and held it out for her to put on. She slipped an arm in, then the other. And I grabbed her before she could scurry away. I wrapped my arms around her chest and held her there for a minute. She sighed and settled against me.   
“You’re a terrible tease, Cullen.” Her voice had no real ire in it.

“Well of course I am, I have you to tease.” She just shook her head against my shoulder. I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Let’s go find food and the dogs.” I took her hand and led her from the office. I opened the door to find the dogs piled on each other leaning against it. They fell into the office and scrambled to their feet. Fen ran circles around Aurelia, while Lady came and sat in front of my feet expectantly. I kneeled and scratched behind her ears, murmuring silly platitudes to her about her beauty and grace.   
I looked up to find Fen sitting next to Aurelie, and both of them staring at me like I had grown a second head. “What? I can’t compliment my Lady?”

“You.. got all soft and gooey looking.”

“I did not.” I coughed. Cleared my throat. Looked down because I was pretty sure I was blushing under the scrutiny I was facing. Lady looked up at me imploringly. If a dog her size could actually look at anything imploringly. I reached out to Lady again and she leaned into my hand, her joy evident on her lovely face. I sighed and let her cuddle closer and ignored the snickering from behind me. I whispered to Lady, “This is why we cuddle in private you know, Aurelia gets jealous when I share my affections with other beautiful ladies.”

I heard a gasp behind me, looked back and saw Aurelia trying not to laugh. She just shook her head at me and went to walk past me. I reached out to stop her and she bumped me with her hip, sending me sprawling to the ground. To be pounced on by two dogs. And their very wet tongues. I laid there calling out to her to come back here and save me and she just laughed as she left me to the dogs.

**Aurelia -**

I exited the office, laughing, and could still hear Cullen yelling after me. Walking across the bridge, I felt a weird pinching in my leg, looked down and saw nothing. I must have sat weird on the desk. He yelled after me again, and I just waggled my fingers and kept walking. Teach him for teasing me about jealous. I made a spitting noise. The man spends hours at a time with 3 gorgeous women, and if I wasn’t jealous of that, I wasn’t going to be jealous over a dog. My dog technically, though she was definitely of the mind that she belonged to Cullen. Who wouldn’t want to belong to Cullen? The man had incredible hands, this sexy voice that could send my heart skipping from across the room when he wasn’t even talking to me. The hands though, they killed me. I love his hands.. They are gentle and strong and soft and hard and they do things to me that I never imagined they could do. I watch his hands all the time. Not that he knows. But I do and that’s all that matters there. But.. the thing I was most surprised about in his interaction with Lady, was how very much he seemed to melt over her. Big, strong, tough Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition armies.. Was in love with a dog. A big beautiful cloudy gray dog that seemed just as in love with him. It was amazing to see. And I was glad I saw it. A whole other side to the mysterious Cullen Rutherford. I was so lost in thought I didn’t see the chair out in the walkway in the hall, as the maids were cleaning the tables for the meal later. So lost in thought, that I tripped over the chair, fell and hit my left shoulder on another chair. WHY must the chairs hate me?! I laid on the floor, dazed for a minute. The maid was screeching and apologizing over and over, when really it was my fault. I laid there and started laughing. The dogs came charging through the door to the rotunda, Fen tripping over my legs and landing on me. And he laid there whining and sniffing at my leg. Lady just stopped by my head licking my face. And I couldn’t stop laughing, even though my shoulder hurt like crazy. I had to be a sight too, laying there laughing like a loon, one dog sprawled on top of me and the other licking my face off.

“Maker’s breath woman! I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you try to kill yourself?” I hear Cullen exclaim from the door. The maid was still cowering and crying next to the table.   
“Cullen reassure her please. This was my fault, not hers. No one is in trouble.” He sighed at me and went to the maid and talked quietly to her. She nodded, said thank you to us both and after putting the chair back at the table, she ran for the basement. I just laid there. Seemed easier than trying to extricate myself from the dogs. Cullen walked over and stood next to me. “The scrapes you get yourself into,” he said with a chuckle. “You are lucky to be alive at this point!” I just slapped at his leg and he sidestepped my flailing arm easily. “Would you like help getting up?” he asked with a grin. I held out my hand and tried to shake Fen from my legs. He figured it was a game though, and scrambled around to find purchase on them. Cullen tried to push him off, and Fen just stared at him like he was crazy. 

“Fen’Harel, you get off me this instant!” I yelled. He just whined and didn’t move. “Please?” I asked. He gave a low bark and .. didn’t move. “Fen! Go find Dorian!” He yowled at me, jumped up and galloped towards the rotunda. Cullen grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. 

“My hero,” I coughed, trying not to laugh again. 

“Ah, Aurelia, you.. You’re bleeding!” Cullen exclaimed. 

I could feel the burn in my shoulder but couldn’t see it. And I tried, turning in almost a full circle trying. Cullen laughed at me, and stopped my movement. He turned me away from him and gave a low whistle. “You either need stitches or magic.” I shrugged. And that hurt, the burn turning into an inferno of pain. I winced. He frowned. “Healer it is.”   
I shook my head. “Stitches,” and he shook his head back. “You need your arm for.. For later this week. Please?” I sighed.

“Fine. Get Dorian or Solas. I hate bothering the healers in the hospital for something this stupid. Besides, Dorian loves to cluck over me when my ineptitude gets the best of me.”  
And as if on cue, Dorian sighed dramatically at me from the door of the rotunda. “Your ridiculous dog-child came upstairs and tried to drag me downstairs. By grabbing my pants. With his very sharp teeth, I might add.” 

I coughed. “I’m sorry, Dorian. He was laying on me and you were my last resort bargaining chip. He loves you. Weirdly loves you.” He just shook his head at me. 

“What’s this I hear about healing things?” he asked, walking towards me. I lowered my head and turned around, showing him my shoulder. He whistled. “Did you have a fight with something again?” he asked me, trying not to laugh. 

“Seriously? For all you know it was an assassination attempt,” I growled. He laughed harder.

“Yes. The chair tried to _assassinate_ the Inquisitor,” Cullen said, his voice all serious, but his eyes dancing with laughter. My own eyes promised retribution.   
“You got into.. A fight.. With a chair?”

“No! I tripped over a chair! And fell onto ANOTHER chair! Alright?!” I yelled, my face flushing. 

“Oh, that’s perfectly alright, dear. Would my assistance be welcome?” he asked with a smirk. I scowl at him. Cullen answers for me. “Yes, Dorian. Please.” I sighed. 

“Let’s take this upstairs, please?” I asked. And walked away, heading to the door up to my room. Once up there I took my shirt off and held it over my chest, the burning in my shoulder more intense than it had been a few moments ago. Cullen sat on the couch and just waited. Dorian motioned for me to sit with Cullen. Then he put his hands over the hole in my shoulder. I could feel the heat and the magic, seeping into my skin. Felt the fibers of my skin weaving back together. It hurt more than usual though, and the throbbing inside my shoulder intensified as he tried healing it. He stopped after a few moments and looked at Cullen. “What’s wrong?” I ask. Dorian shook his head.

“Auri.. it won’t close.”

“It what??”

“The wound.. Won’t close. I need to get Fiona,” he said before rushing off. I sat there and stared down at my hands in my lap. The wound wouldn’t close? What does that mean. Cullen put his hand over mine, “We’ll figure this out.”

I just nodded. The pain was intensifying again. Spreading down my arm, shooting fire. 

“Aurelia, are you alright?!” Cullen said behind me. I could vaguely feel his other hand on my back, and him cursing under his breath. I swayed, and my hand started to glow, a bright sickly green. My mind felt .. muddled. And my leg, why was my leg hurting? 

“Cullen, Maker it hurts,” I managed to whisper before collapsing.

**\---**

Cullen managed to catch Aurelia before she fell to the floor. Her hand was glowing brightly, and her skin was flushed and hot. He didn’t understand what was happening, it was so quick. A few moments later, Dorian reappeared with Fiona and Solas. Who had heard the commotion and decided to tag along. Good thing too since he seemed to be the resident ‘Fade Related Things’ expert.

Cullen laid Aurelia on the bed, on her stomach. She moaned when the bed dipped beneath his weight as he sat next to her. 

Solas and Fiona approached the bed, and while she assessed the wound, Solas looked at her hand. He held it, and poured magic into the anchor, a healing magic, mixed with a little rift magic. The glow seemed to abate a bit. Then as he and Fiona worked together, they both caught the scent at the same time. Deathroot.

“Undress her now, Commander,” Solas demanded, Fiona murmuring her agreement. Cullen and Dorian went to work, trying to ease Aurelia’s pants off her prone form. Solas and Fiona searched her body, and there on the side of her thigh was a puncture mark, and upon further review, a small perfectly round hole in her pants. Cullen growled, “Are you serious? Someone managed to _poison_ her?! How?” 

Solas quickly took off his own belt, and wrapped it around the top of her thigh, as tightly as he could manage. He leaned close and pressed the wound, making it express darker than usual blood. He nodded. “Someone used a modified deathroot poison, fairly rare but also fairly deadly. I need you to get these ingredients,” he said, getting up and rushing to Aurelia's desk, grabbing a quill and a piece of paper. He wrote them down and handed it to Dorian, who left without a word.

“Commander.. Cullen,” Solas started to talk, quietly, “this is going to be difficult and painful for her. Are you alright?”

Cullen just nodded, a look of stubborn finality etched into his face. “I’m not leaving. Do what you have to, to save her, do you understand?”

Solas nodded. He exchanged a look with Fiona, who nodded wordlessly and left the room to gather some of her things.

“We are going to make an antidote, but since we don’t know how long ago she was poisoned, I will have to make it stronger than usual.”

Cullen's brow furrowed. “It had to be in the last half hour or so, she was with me,” he coughed. “We were in my office and that mark wasn’t on her thigh then.” 

Solas nodded, thinking. “Then there is actually a large chance she will be fine, depending on the concentration of the poison they used. Luckily, we have the means to tell, thanks to the efforts of our Spymaster.”

Dorian came rushing back up the stairs, with Iron Bull following, their hands both full of the things Solas had requested. Bull raised his eyebrow at Solas, “What kind of poison, Solas?”

“A rare deathroot one, it’s been mixed with Lyrium dust and some spider toxin.”

Bull whistled. “That’s a tough one. Where was it introduced to her body?” 

“Her outer thigh, left side.”

Bull bent down and inspected her thigh. He sighed. “This is a Venetori weapon. They used a frozen needle made of the stuff. Likely shot at her from a distance so there would be no actual assassin to apprehend. Likely they are already gone as well.” He sighed again. Dorian looked worried. And was wringing his hands. The man never wrung his hands. “Will she be alright?” Dorian asked, his voice hitching. 

Solas shrugged. “She should be, providing we can get the antidote into her in time, and drain the wound. That will be the tough part. But, barring any complications, she should be fine.” Dorian just quirked an eyebrow before throwing up his hands and beginning to pace. Bull took a seat on the couch, and just waited.   
Fiona came back into the room with the remaining items. She asked Dorian to fetch some dark cloths from Aurelias closet, and asked Cullen to turn her onto her right side. He pulled her shoulder, wincing as she gave another soft moan. Fiona covered Aurelias bare chest with a sheet, for a semblance of privacy, though they all knew Aurelia wouldn’t care in the end. Solas handed her a knife and moved off to the desk to prepare the antidote. He motioned Dorian over to help him, and Bull moved to the bed and sat at Aurelia’s feet.

Fiona started giving terse instructions. “You both must hold her still. I must lance the wound, and I will have to flush it with some medicated water. She WILL try and get away, but you have to keep her as still as possible to keep the wound from opening more than I cut it.” Cullen pulled Aurelia into his lap, wrapping his arms around her chest, trapping her hands with his own, anchoring her body to his. Bull grabbed her legs and braced them against the bed, his massive hands dark against the paleness of her calves. Fiona murmured a few words and waved her hand, dispelling Aurelia's magic for a few minutes. Then she heated the knife with her hand and set to slicing the puncture mark on her leg open. She sliced 3 ways across the hole, each slice over an inch long. Not too deep but deep enough to cut a bit into the muscle. Aurelia’s body tensed, and the men held her tight. Fiona whispered an apology, as she upended a flask of purple cloudy liquid over the wound. It bubbled through her skin, hissing and steaming. Aurelia tried to arch her back, a scream ripping through her as the liquid did its job. A keening howl erupted from her as Fiona poured more onto the wound, and pressed around it to express the poisoned blood. Sweat covered Aurelia's skin, and as she weakened, she began to whimper.

  
Dorian’s hands were shaking as he listened to his best friend, Solas reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. One of those few moments where the Tevinter mage and elven apostate needed one another. He closed his eyes for a moment, and silently whispered a prayer to the Maker to watch over his sassy mage. Opening his eyes, he got back to work, helping Solas make the antidote. Solas stirred and measured and poured his magic into the bowl on the desk. Dorian heated the bowl as needed, and they quickly made the concoction. It smelled foul, but they agreed she would need to drink as much as they put into the wound. 

When they turned to walk back to the bed, Dorian was shocked at the look on Bull’s face, a single tear making a track down his cheek as he held her legs. He walked to the bed with a vial of the antidote, Solas carrying the other. Fiona flushed her wound once more with water, clearing away more affected blood and poison. The towels under Aurelia's leg was soaked, with blood and the medicated liquid. Solas moved sit near Aurelia's head, propped on Cullen's arm. “Aurelia Trevelyan, look at me,” Solas commanded, weaving some magic into his words. Her eyes opened, pupils fully dilated from the pain and the poison. 

“So.. Solas? Don’t you,” she shook as she spoke, her voice barely a whisper. “Don’t you yell at me, you bald wonder.” Solas gave her a weak smile. Cullen felt his chest tighten. Had to be a good sign, right? Her joking even when she was in that much pain? 

“You need to drink this. It will taste like something akin to death and dogs breath. You have to drink it all. Then we will apply some to the wound after I release the tourniquet. That.. will likely be as unpleasant as the lancing was. Are you ready?” he asked her. She nodded, looked up at Cullen. “Kiss me,” she demanded. He complied, instantly. No thought needed, his lips crushing hers in a quick but very meaningful kiss. She sighed when he pulled away and opened her mouth for Solas to give her the antidote. He poured the entire vial into her mouth and they all watched as she struggled with herself to swallow it, tears leaking from her eyes, and her whole body shaking. Swallow it she did though, and after, she was gagging and coughing. “Did someone die in that?!” she whispered between gags.

Bull laughed, shakily but still a laugh. “You are a tough little pampered human, aren’t you Inquisitor?” he teased. 

Dorian moved forward, “Aurelia.. I’m sorry,” with a shaky voice, and with a nod to Cullen and Bull, who both tightened their hold on her body, he loosened the tourniquet, and upended the vial into the wound, slowly pouring the antidote. He held his hand over it, urging the liquid to absorb into her body rather than run out of the wound. Her body bowed in Cullen’s arms, and she couldn’t even manage a scream, nor a whimper. She felt the antidote racing through her leg, it felt like freezing shards of glass racing through her veins. She felt like her heart was going to stop, but it was racing so fast. Her eyes were shut tight, and all she could see was Cullen’s face, just an hour earlier, pleased and full of love. Wave after wave of excruciating pain ripped through her then, and she finally, blessedly, passed out. Cullen was crying, Iron Bull was crying and Dorian was pretending not to cry. He sniffled and quietly complained about the dust in there. Fiona and Solas were both fairly stoic, for they knew it wasn’t over yet. Solas let everyone collect themselves, and moved to get a sewing kit from the pile of things he had had Dorian fetch. 

He handed it to Fiona and she knelt beside Cullen, behind Aurelia. And went about the arduous task of stitching the 3 sliced in her leg. “Why can’t you use magic to heal the wound?” Cullen asked, his voice hoarse. Fiona shook her head. “The lyrium dust they put into the poison prevents the healing magic can provide. For now. Later tonight we should be able to perform some healing, and fully heal both of her wounds tomorrow.” Cullen nodded, and went back to just holding his beloved. 

Bull cleared his throat, and asked if he would still be needed. Solas answered from the desk, “You should be fine to go. Might I suggest you talk to our illustrious spymaster and find out who did this?” 

“I already send Krem to talk to her. I’m going to go find her and see if she has discovered anything.” He extricated himself from Aurelia’s legs, and got gingerly off of her bed. He went to Dorian, and gathered him into a hug. “You helped save your mighty Inquisitor, Kadan.” Dorian just nodded, and welcomed the embrace. Bull kissed Dorians forehead and left the room. Cullen quirked an eyebrow at Dorian, who had no fight left, just offered a wry smile and a shrug. A few moments later, soft footsteps sounded on the stairs. And Cassandra appeared at the top. 

“Leliana told us what happened, we were waiting downstairs to hear.. Anything.” She swallowed, upon seeing the bloodied bed, and unconscious Inquisitor. “Is Aurelia going to be alright?”

Solas answered. “She will be fine, in a few days. For now, she will need plenty of rest.” Cassandra nodded.

“Cullen, when can we..” He interrupted her. “Speak now, for I’m not leaving this room until she does.” His voice was more terse than he intended, but he’d be damned if he left and something else happened to her. She nodded. 

“Leliana found a guard outside the back wall of the keep, unconscious but alive. And naked, whoever stole into the castle did so with a uniform to blend in. One of the serving girls saw someone hurrying through the battlements about 45 minutes ago, shucking the uniform as he moved. He, uh, how do I say this without sounding ridiculous. ‘He _vanished_ mistress, I swear it on Andraste and the Maker! He was there, then he was gone!’ That is exactly how she put it, so I am guessing he just stealthed and climbed down the keep wall to escape. Leliana has already sent out all of her best scouts in the keep to scour the surrounding hillsides. We will find the culprit, Commander.”   
He sighed, nodded. It was better than he had hoped for, but still not over. “In a little while I will need some help to fix Aurelia's bed and some food sent up. Can you have Blackwall take the dogs?” 

Solas coughed, “I can take the dogs, Commander. They have taken a liking to bunking in my room when they aren’t with you or the Inquisitor.” Cullen just nodded.

Fiona finally finished the task of sewing the wound on Aurelia’s leg, and she placed a clean bandage over the stitches. Then she wrapped a clean strip of linen around her leg several times to hold it in place. “Might I see her shoulder, Commander?” she asked quietly. 

“Oh! Of course, forgive me,” he said hurriedly, releasing his hold on Aurelia somewhat. Fiona pursed her lips. “We should be able to put an elfroot salve on it for tonight, and we can heal it tomorrow with the rest.” Cullen nodded. 

Solas brought a small black jar to Fiona, who opened it and scooped a bit of green paste out. It smelled.. Like honey and Andraste’s Grace flowers. She spread it over the gash on Aurelia’s shoulder, and put another small bandage over the salve. She wrapped a linen around her arm and under her ribs to hold it there. When she finished, she offered to help with the bed, and Cullen just shook his head.

“You look very drained, Fiona. Please.. Go rest. Thank you for everything you’ve done here. You will forever have my thanks, and I will be forever in your debt.”  
She shook her head. “No, Commander. I didn’t do this for thanks or future debts. She saved me, and my fellow mages, from a fate worse than death. I owe her everything, and if a bit of magic and being tired is a price to pay to save this.. Amazing woman’s life? Then so be it. But, I will go rest. I am not as young as I appear to be and I am quite tired,” she said with a wry chuckle. He watched her gather her things and after a few words with Solas, she left the room. Cassandra nodded her thanks to the former First Enchanter.

Solas finished tidying up his supplies, and turned to look at the bed. “She seems to be very unconscious at the moment, Commander. I am going to go find help to fix her bed, while she isn’t awake enough to feel pain. If you could move her to the couch for a few?” Solas gathered his stuff, and left the room with a vocal promise to be back soon.

Cullen nodded and shifted on the bed, lifting Aurelia in his arms, careful not to jostle her leg too much. Cassandra rushed over to the bed to help him climb off it. He made his way to the couch and laid her flat on her back, and Cassandra grabbed a blanket to cover her with. Cullen took it and covered her body, taking care not to cover the bandage on her leg. She seemed to be resting peacefully for the moment, though her skin was still fairly clammy. He and Cassandra moved to the bed, started stripping the linens off. Sadly, some of the blood had seeped through the towels they had laid on the bed. 

“I’ll send out for another mattress,” Cassandra offered. He nodded, not wanting any of that foul poison to remain near Aurelia any longer than necessary. They took the sheets and tied them around the soiled towels, with the intention making one of the castle staff take them and burn them. Cassandra glanced at Cullen, and upon seeing how .. drawn he looked, she took it upon herself to help herself to a few fingers of the liquor Varric kept the Inquisitors room stocked with. She poured them each a couple fingers worth and carried the glass wordlessly to Cullen. He stared at the glass for a minute, shrugged and took it, tossing the entirety of the contents back at once.

He coughed as the liquid burned a path through his insides. “Maker’s Breath! What the hell is that?!” he exclaimed. Cassandra shrugged, “Something Varric keeps up here for the Inquisitor. She hardly ever partakes, though.”

He laughed, “I understand why! That is terrible!” Cassandra chuckled.

At that, they heard several pairs of feet on the stairs, as Solas and a few staff members hauled a mattress up the stairs. “Leliana had this ready, apparently The Iron Bull is very informative,” Solas said as they stood the mattress next to the desk. Cassandra went and held it while the other two men took the soiled one off the of the bed. As they carried that one down the stairs, “Cullen, you and Solas help me with this,” Cassandra said. They moved and helped lift the mattress, and the three of them got it settled onto the bed. “There is a maid coming to fix the linens. She has some special ones that the healer recommended,” Solas said. He walked over and felt Aurelia's forehead. No more fever, a good sign. He grasped her left hand, where the anchor had calmed back down.

“I am going to take my leave, for now, Commander. I will be back in a few hours, to check on her. And Dorian will be here to spend the night on the couch and keep an eye on both of you. We will be taking turns dispelling her magic, so she doesn’t cast anything in her sleep. This poison is tricky and the lyrium can have odd effects on mages. We’ll leave the doors to the main hall open and have a guard on duty at the bottom, to hear if you need anything. I will also send someone up with some food for both of you, thought she will likely not be able to eat until tomorrow.”

Cullen was surprised. That was likely the longest speech from Solas that he had ever heard. “Thank you, Solas. For everything. Your help was invaluable.” Solas just nodded his acceptance of the thanks. 

“Be safe, Commander,” he said, taking his things and his leave. As he disappeared down the stairs, Cassandra sighed and sat on the edge of the desk.   
“This has been an.. Interesting day. Are you alright, Cullen?” she asked quietly. He nodded. 

“I will be better when she awakens and doesn’t hate us for what we had to do,” he said, shaking his head. “Maker.. Her screams will never leave me. Ever,” he whispered raggedly. He knelt on the floor next to the couch, his hand moving to smooth the hair away from Aurelia’s pale face. 

“She is the strongest person I have ever met,” Cassandra said, something akin to reverence in her tone. Cullen looked at her. “I used to think that Hawke.. Hawke was the answer to our problems. The man went through the most unthinkable things in Kirkwall, and came out a winner in the end. Barely, but he did. I figured someone with his undeniable good luck would be the answer we needed. But I was wrong. Aurelia. She was the answer. To all of this. She makes impossible decisions daily, she gives everything to the people. _Her_ people. To you. And me. She.. she is magnificent, and strong, and loving, and a true leader. Because she doesn’t lead for herself. She leads for everyone. And even when it hurts her, she keeps going because it’s the right thing to do. She is everything, Cullen. And I am so glad we found her.” 

Cullen looked down at his hand in his lap. There was blood smeared on his hand. Her blood. “Did you know.. When I first saw her unconscious in the dungeon in Haven, I wondered why she had been allowed to live, when so many had died. Then we found out she was a mage. A noble mage who had been sent to the Conclave to try and broker peace for the mages. Who had walked in the fade in person.. And lived to tell the tale.” He took a deep breath. “Then she smiled at me, after we made our first attempt to close the breach. This wonky, crooked, self deprecating smile. And she shamelessly flirted with me every conversation we had. And I was dying trying to resist that face. And her laugh. And her voice saying my name. ‘Commander Cullen’, nothing had ever suited me more than to hear her say that. And she… she talked to me like I was a man, not a Commander or a Templar. But just a man to listen to. And she humbled me. She had no fear of me, or my being a former Templar. She made jokes and talked about her time in the circle. And I fumbled. And I think I hurt her. But.. Cassandra, she loves me. She _loves_ me, despite everything else I was. And, Maker preserve me, I love her beyond compare.”   
Cassandra nodded. She had watched it all unfold, like this pretty little tragic drama. But they were so lovely together. She sighed. They both looked up when the maid came up the stairs.

“Commander! I was sent to fix the Herald’s bed, sir?” He nodded and offered his assistance.

“Oh no! Commander, you cannot.” He gave a wry laugh. “I have made beds before, please let me help you? It’s a very large bed.” She seemed to consider his offer, then nodded her acquiescence. Together, him and the maid made the bed. She searched the closet for more blankets as Cullen lifted Aurelia off the couch and placed her on the left side of the bed. Cassandra brought him one of the couch pillows to put under her thigh. Aurelia sighed as we covered her again, not moving. The maid handed Cullen the blankets and said she would go get him the food that was being prepared. He thanked her and turned his attention back to Aurelia. 

Cassandra sighed. “I’m going to go inform everyone what has transpired here, though I am sure by now all the most pertinent people know.” She made her way to the stairs. Stopping, she looked down and whispered, “I will pray for you both tonight. Fervently. If ever a love needed to survive, yours does.” And with that she left. Cullen couldn’t have agreed more, however. But for entirely selfish purposes. He didn’t think he could truly make it without her, now that he had finally found her. He shed his jacket, and moved to her closet to find any of his other shirts, and surprisingly found a whole pile of clothes folded in a neat pile, pants, shirts, even a pair of extra boots. He chuckled softly, she was forever taking care of him. Now it was his turn. He changed his clothes, washed his hands and arms in the basin of water Fiona left on the desk. Then, barefoot, he climbed onto the bed next to Aurelia, and sat against the headboard. His head was beyond clear after the stress of the last hour. It hadn’t been much more than an hour since Aurelia had collapsed. It had felt like days.. But so little time had actually passed. He closed his eyes and just waited, lost in his thoughts.   
  
A little while later, the same maid from earlier brought up a tray with various fruits, bits of meat, bread and a couple jugs of water and mead. He thanked her and made his way to the desk where she had set the food. He ate his fill, making sure to save some of the fruit and water for Aurelia, if she woke up. He sighed, scratching his head. He crawled back onto the bed and laid next to her, on his side facing her. He pillowed his arm on his head, and grasped her right hand, and fell into a light sleep.

A few hours later, just as the sun was going down, Cullen awoke to find Solas stoking the fire. “Ah, hello,” He mumbled sleepily.

“Good evening, Commander. The Inquisitor is looking better. How are you holding up?”

“Remarkably well, considering. Any news?” Solas shook his head.

“The scouts found a trail. But they are still on it. I dispelled the room again, Aurelia’s magic shouldn't work for a while yet. Dorian will be in once he finishes his evening meal. He'll bring you some more food and fresh water too. Is there anything else I can help you with?” he asked.

“Not that I can think of. Solas. Thank you.”

Solas inclined his head. “You, and your Inquisitor are welcome. She has been.. A remarkable friend. Far more trusting than a human usually is of an elf and always asking questions, but not out of spite. Always out of a need for more. Knowledge, learning. She is amazing, Commander. It was my honor to help you both. Now get some more rest. You need it.” And with that Solas disappeared down the stairs again. Cullen shook his head and laid back down, facing the ceiling.

He dozed off again, awoke some time later to find Dorian sitting on the couch reading a book. Dorian spotted him moving and gave a small wave. “Do you feel any better?” Dorian asked Cullen. Cullen just gave a wry smile.

“I feel fine. Tired, a bit emotionally spent. And yourself?”

“I actually feel much better after inspecting Auri earlier. She seems to be sleeping instead of unconscious from the pain. Which is a good sign. Since you're awake, I'd like to do some healing on her. Care to help me?” Dorian asked as he got up from the couch and came over to the bed. Cullen just nodded and yawned. Dorian knelt by the bed and spoke, “Just hold her hands for me please? I already dispelled her magic, but better safe than sorry.”  Cullen reached out and captured Aurelias hands with his own. They were warm, but no longer hot like earlier. Dorian put his hands over her leg and began to heal her. After a few moments, he moved his hands up over her left shoulder. A minute later he stopped. Felt her face and put his hand on her heart. He nodded, looking pleased.

“Her heartbeat is strong and she's not feverish at all. Very good signs. Now, I'm going to lay down and rest. This face doesn't stay beautiful without effort you know. You should eat,” Dorian indicated another tray of food on the desk.

Cullen nodded and went to get up, reached the food and suddenly felt famished. He ate his fill, drank a few glasses of the mead and went to Aurelia’s bookshelves. He looked over her books, noticed one that was more worn than the others. He pulled it down and was astonished at what he found. Her handwriting on the front, **_Moments to Remember, So I’ll Never Forget._ ** He opened it to the first page, and her writing was there as well.

 _I’m alive. First thing to remember. Changed but alive. Survived my first attempt to close the Breach, though it was a close call. Cassandra doesn’t seem to hate me any more. Leliana (?) - she is nice enough, though a little poke happy. Josephine is sweet and ruthlessly politically savvy. Its impressive. Commander Cullen. Why? WHY? That face should be illegal. Especially paired with his voice. But. He’s an ex-Templar and mistrusting of mages. Which is fitting because.. You know I am a mage and and who needs to be trusted anyways?_ _  
_ _So that was more bitter than I intended. So I’ll end this with, I lived. Let’s see what tomorrow brings._

Cullen closed the book and sighed. At least they’d overcome his issues. He put the book back and just went back to the bed. Dorian was true to his word, asleep on the couch. Cullen laid back down next to Aurelia. In her sleep, she rolled onto her right side and snugged her back against him. He sighed. And after putting his arm around her, gently, he fell asleep again.

**Aurelia -**

I opened my eyes.. It was dark. There was a constant throb in my leg, and my shoulder ached. What all had happened?? Looking around, I found I was in my room, and night had fallen. I could feel Cullen against my back. And heard.. Three other bodies breathing? I looked towards the couch.. Dorian was sleeping there. And Bull was sleeping on the floor in front of the couch. If I wasn’t mistaken.. Their hands were touching. I sighed at the perfection of it. I tried to shift my leg and, well wasn’t that the worst idea ever? Lights danced behind my eyes and the pain almost swallowed me whole. I gasped, trying to stay conscious. Cullen stirred behind me.   
“Aurelia?” he whispered. I touched his hand, seemed easier than trying to answer when it hurt.. So damn bad. He sat up and looked at me, relief and happiness spreading across his face. “You’re awake! Thank the Maker!” He leaned down and kissed my forehead.   
“Can.. Can I get a drink please?” I whispered.

“Oh! Of course! Forgive me,” he climbed off the bed and went to the desk, grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He brought it back to me, helped me sit up and watched as I drank. Maker it felt wonderful, cold and soothing. I drank the entire glass. I laid back down while he took the glass back to the desk. Closing my eyes I tried to remember what had happened. I remembered being in the office with Cullen, and now I was blushing. I remember getting to the hall and tripping..?   
“Cullen what happened?” I whispered, trying not to wake Dorian and Bull. He sighed as he sat down with me on the bed. He sat against the headboard and I put my head on his leg. He ran his hand over my hair and told me what had happened. 

I was poisoned. My brain was stuck there. Poisoned. My leg started to ache again, throbbing under the bandages. I winced, and tried to will it to stop. Cullen saw the wince, and offered to get me something for the pain. I just shook my head. I reached up and grasped his hand and just held on. The more I thought about it, the sadder I got. Would it never end? 

I started to cry. Tears just leaking out of my eyes as I laid there with a throbbing leg, a throbbing shoulder and some sense of .. not defeat, but something close. Cullen let me cry, his hand still smoothing my hair. Neither of us spoke until my little crying jag seemed to run its course. 

He whispered, “I would have done anything to bear that pain for you, anything.” I shook my head. “I would never have let you. What’s some pain in comparison to living? I’ve dealt with pain before.. But knowing you took it for me would have been far worse than just keeping it myself. Besides, now you all can pamper me.” He chuckled, still all serious faced though. I sighed and looked up at him. “Thank you,” I whispered. “I did nothing you wouldn’t have done. You’d have held me and taken care of me. More so perhaps.” I smiled at him. And he smiled back. A real smile, meeting his eyes. 

“I love you,” I whispered, my hand going up to stroke his cheek. “And I love you,” he whispered back. 

“And I love you both!” came a growl from the floor, Iron Bull having woken up. 

“And look at that, our little Inquisitor is alive! Was almost a little worried about you there, Boss. Glad to see you rejoin the land of the living. By the way, your floor is hard.” He sounded almost perturbed. But his face told another story. More relief. Dorian snored on, oblivious to our conversation. I yawned. “Go back to sleep, Boss. Let your man there cuddle with you and you get some more rest. Dorian and I are here to keep an eye on you. Mostly me obviously, since the man could sleep through an earthquake,” Bull said with a chuckle. He laid back down after covering Dorian up with his blanket. Cullen just shook his head and we re-situated on the bed. He covered us up, well mostly. And I fell almost immediately back to sleep.

**Aurelia - The Next Day - Nearly Noon -**

When I woke up again, the sun was out and Cullen was sitting at my desk with papers, and Solas was sitting on the couch reading something. I tried to stretch and gasped when it caused pain to lance through my leg. They both looked up at me and Cullen smiled his greeting.   
“Good morrow, Inquisitor,” Solas said, a smile on his face as well. “Guess what we get to do now that you are awake?” I quirked an eyebrow and asked, “Are we finally going to learn that trick to your baldness? It’s truly.. Perfection!” He laughed, a nice sound after all the seriousness. Cullen chuckled from the desk.   
“Ah now, Inquisitor, if I divulged that secret, you would have a keep full of bald people and then where would we be? We would need many more hats than we have to keep them all warm and that could beggar the Inquisition as we know it!” I laughed, even though it hurt, I laughed. “In all seriousness, I get to finish healing your wounds now. But first, I need to remove the stitches from your leg. It will likely be unpleasant but nowhere near as bad as yesterday. Shall we begin?” he asked. I nodded. Cullen got up from the desk and hurried over to help me sit up on the bed, and untied the bandage on my leg for me. I was.. Mildly surprised. There on my leg were 3 perfect intersecting lines. A star as it were, and beautifully stitched threads holding my skin together. The skin only looked mildly bruised under the cuts. I had expected much worse. Cullen inspected it and found it just as well as I did. “You all did a remarkable job on this wound, Solas,” Cullen commented.

“Teamwork and persistence, Commander. They do wonders. Also.. I think the hard headed stubbornness of Aurelia here, that helped immensely.” Solas set about snipping the threads and pulling them back out of my skin. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest not to move my leg, even though the leg wanted to run anywhere but there. The feeling of the thread pulling out of each hole was.. Disconcerting to say the least. After several minutes, Solas spoke again. “I do have to commend Fiona, she did a remarkable job on this.” I opened my eyes and nodded. The ache was back in the wound, from the tugging of the threads. Solas put his hands over it and poured healing magic into the wound. I braced myself on the bed as the muscles and veins righted themselves, and the skin glowed bright pink as it wove back together. After a few minutes, the wound was nothing more than a bright white scar on my leg.

“Get up and walk for me, please?” Solas requested. I slid my legs from the bed, careful to keep the sheet around me. As I went to stand, my leg wobbled for a minute, weak but.. Whole. I took a few steps, and even though the muscle felt a little tight, there was no more pain. I turned back to the bed with a giant smile on my face. Cullen smiled back and Solas looked very pleased. “May I attend to your shoulder?” I nodded and turned my back to him, lifting my hair out of the way. He settled his hand over my shoulder and I could feel that mending as well. It only took a few moments, and the pain was gone. I lifted my shoulder after I felt Solas stop. No pain, no stiffness. Nothing! Even as a mage I was still astonished by what magic could accomplish. 

“Well, then. My job here is complete. I will leave you to it, though I would recommend resting today, Aurelia. Your body may be healed but the whole ordeal was rather traumatic.” He gathered his things and walked towards the stairs. “I am sure I’m not alone in this sentiment, but I am glad you are still with us, Aurelia. You have become a great friend and the world would be a duller place without you in it. I bid you good afternoon,” he said with a tip of his head. He vanished down the stairs. 

I walked to Cullen who was standing by the bed. He pulled me against his chest and hugged me tightly. “Never again, Aurelia. You hear me?” I nodded against his chest, glad to know he was as shaken as I. I looked up at him. He kissed me, desperation and something a little darker coloring the kiss. I kissed him back, heartily grateful I could. Then the kiss changed, and became tender and loving. And.. mid kiss.. My stomach growled loud enough to wake dead people. He pulled his mouth away, and we both started laughing.   
“I’m going to go get you some food and let everyone know you are hale and whole once more.” He kissed my forehead and let go of me. And with a last backward glance he hurried down the stairs. I sat down on the bed and sighed. What.. What a long 24 hours. I pulled the sheet around me again and walked to the balcony door and stood there watching the goings on in the courtyard. And things were as they should be. I stood there for a while, waiting for Cullen to return.

When I heard his footsteps on the stairs, I turned back to watch him carry food, and brought the dogs with him. They ran to me happily, as I knelt on the floor to give them appropriate love and kisses. I looked up to find Cullen leaning against my desk, grinning down at me. And all was right in my little world. At least for now.


	10. Into the Wilds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurelia and friends head into the Arbor Wilds to confront Corypheus and stop him from getting his hands on whatever lies within the Temple of Mythal. They find far more than they bargain for.  
> Choices are made, and prices are paid..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used more IG dialogue than I have before for this part. To me the meeting with Abelas in the temple was crucial to how the rest of the story plays out. I actually had to go replay this part to get the exact dialogue I had for Aurelia's play through.   
> I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who has left Kudos and comments! I was so hesitant to do this and I'm so glad I did! Thank you to everyone of you 

**2 Days Later -**

 

I stood in the war room glaring at everyone. Seriously, glaring. At. Everyone. Cullen was trying to make me wait to get back to work, saying it was too soon. I insisted that I was taking it easy. And I know why he’s fussing. I would do the same in his place. Leliana was trying to tell me not to lead the first group of troops, stay back with Cullen and his men. Not happening. Cassandra was.. Blessedly quiet, though she nodded her agreement with Josephine, who was trying to get me to not go at all after the ‘Incident’. I wanted to tell them all that I wasn’t 4 anymore. But I was practicing diplomacy and tact.

“Hey!” I finally yelled to be heard over their bickering. All eyes turned to me.    
“First of all, I am not a child. I haven’t been an actual child in a very  _ very _ long time. I can make my own decisions. I. Am. Fine.” Cullen looked about to say something and I held up my hand. “I know you all mean well, but this plan, the one we’ve been working on for weeks, is it. We have no other recourse. It will take days for the main bulk of our force to get to the Wilds. And while, I admit, the plan isn’t anywhere near fool proof, we will have plenty of firepower. And I am not helpless. I have this stupid anchor, and magic. An abundance of magic, at my disposal..” I looked pointedly at Josephine. “I will not stay behind. Nothing will change that. These are  _ my _ men. Cullen might lead them but they follow me. And if I’m sending them against who knows what odds, I can do nothing but the same.” Next I looked at Leliana. “I march with the scouts. End of discussion. Your scouts are invaluable. And we need as many of them to make it out of this alive as possible, and some of those red Templar’s are far stronger than their counterparts.” She nodded at me, seemingly satisfied with my answer. I looked to Cassandra and Morrigan who were standing at the end of the table together. “Morrigan will be going with me, as will Solas, Dorian and Bull. Cassandra I need you to ready everyone in the camps as our troops arrive. Since Cullen will be leading the men into the wilds, we need you to be Commander in the interim.” She sighed but nodded. Morrigan blessedly had nothing to say other than a single inclination of her head. I walked over to Cullen. “You have taken amazing care of me since.. Well since. And I thank you. Because I honestly don’t think I would have made it through without you. But.. You have to let me lead. And I know it scares you as much as it scares me.” I held out my left hand, pulsing lightly with that ever present green glow. “This led me here,” and I looked around, “led  _ us _ here. Every one of us. I would never have met you all if Corypheus hadn’t tried to set the world on fire. And while I wish the circumstances were different, I would never wish any of you away. Because you’ve all become like family to me.” I looked back to Cullen. “I love you too. It will be ok. I will make sure of that. If I can survive the fade, twice, a corrupted dragon trying to eat me, and a mountain falling on me.. And a crazy poison.. Well I can survive Corypheus and his henchmen.” Cullen just nodded, his face guarded. Then he kissed me, a quick but heavy kiss. “You had better be right, woman. Or I will follow you wherever dead people go and drag you back here.” I smiled up at him, because the sentiment was very much one I shared. I turned back to the table. “I will leave tomorrow evening. Cullen and the troops will follow the next day. And we will turn the tide or die trying. This is it.” And everyone nodded their agreement. 

Everyone filed out of the room except Cullen.    
“Are you sure?” he asked me one last time. I nodded. “As sure as I am about you.”    
“Oh, and how sure are you about me?” he asked with a small smile.   
“Extremely. You are the one constant thing I have had since getting here. Even before I ‘had’ you, you were there, a good friend even if you were wary of me and my shifty ways.” He laughed then. A nice real laugh. I smiled.    
“You weren’t shifty,” he started to say, then thought a moment. “Ok, you were a little shifty. But in a good way.”    
I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his back and brought myself close. “I worry for you,” he whispered.    
“And I worry for you. It is the way of this whole love business from what I’ve been told. And I don’t mind the worry so much. I’m glad to have something to worry over. Beats walking into all of this alone.” He nodded, wrapping his arms around me,    
“Give me tonight and tomorrow?” he asks me.   
“Of course. Whatever you want. Or need.” He smiled then, and kissed me once more before leaving me alone at the table. I stared down at it a bit longer. Things were coming to a head. And if my dreams were any indication of how things were going to go, this was going to hurt. 

 

**Later That Evening -**

 

Everyone ate in the hall that night, and the atmosphere was pleasantly cheery. Silly stories, card games, arm wrestling, and eating contests were all going on at once. Aurelia sat with Cullen, Dorian and Bull, and Varric. Hawke and Fenris were at the next table with Sera and Josie, and Leliana was conversating by the fire with Cassandra. Vivienne was telling tall tales to the children and Blackwall and Cole were discussing the necessity of.. Nugs. Or hugs. Food was plentiful and the dogs were enjoying themselves with a few of the boys and some fancy sticks that Dorian had insisted on getting them. The evening was a resounding success. Everyone left the hall feeling lighter and better about what could be coming. Aurelia finally retired to her room with Cullen, who had gone ahead and lit candles about the room. When she got to the top of the stairs she just sighed. The room was almost ethereal feeling. She turned to him and he just stood there grinning at her.    
“You did all of this, for me?” she asked, her voice low.    
“Of course. I wanted our last night before the world changes to be.. Just us. Special and close.”   
She stepped close to him, her hand coming up to caress his cheek. “You are a treasure sometimes, Cullen Rutherford.” He laughed.    
“Only sometimes?” he asked as he took her hand and led her into the room.    
“Sometimes you make me crazy. Just how it is,” she answered with a shrug. He went to the bed and sat down, pulling her down next to him. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and kept his hand in hers. They just sat silently for a few minutes, watching the moon on the horizon behind the castle, big and bright outside. Eventually, without saying anything, Cullen stood up and pulled Aurelia to her feet. He stood in front her, started to unbutton her shirt. She waited for him to finish and push the shirt off her shoulders. As it dropped to the floor, she untied his shirt, and he held up his hands to help her get it off. Before he could make another move, she pressed her chest to his and placed a kiss on his neck, then his chin. Then his mouth met hers, and they kissed, slow and hungry. A soft melding of tongues, and lips, and satisfied sighs. His hands cradled her face, holding her mouth to his, and her hands gripped his sides. 

He pulled his mouth away after a few minutes, and she went to sit. He just shook his head no and knelt by her feet, unbuckling her boots and helping her remove them. Then he raised his hands and untied her pants, hooking a finger on either side, pulling them slowly down her legs. She braced a hand on his shoulder as he pulled them from her feet. He kissed her stomach before standing back up, toed off his boots, and let her untie his pants. She pulled them apart and pushed them down his legs. He stepped out of them then pushed her back and onto the bed. She sighed as he settled himself on top of her, his hips nestled between her legs. She grasped his face, bringing his lips back to hers, and she kissed him. Really kissed him then, passion and love and need pouring out of her. He reveled in it. Her taste, the feel of her skin hot against his, her heart hammering under his own erratic beat. He slid his hands under her body, down to grip her butt as their kiss burned through them. He pulled his mouth away, moving his mouth to her neck, He left a trail of shivering skin as he kissed down her neck, down her chest to her left breast. He took her nipple in his mouth, while his left hand slowly massaged her other breast. He moved to lavish the same attention on the right side, with his left hand replacing his mouth on the other.    
She was giving little moans as the heat he created in her pooled low in her belly. He moved to kiss her just below her chest, then lower near her belly button. He knelt between her legs and shifted her knees apart, all the while watching her face. She covered her face and shakily sighed. He kissed her hip, then her thigh, his fingers moving to touch her, parting her lips and rubbing against her. She shook on the bed, trembling at his touch. He licked her then, a long slow lick, stopping with his tongue on her clit. He swirled his tongue around it, sliding a finger inside her. Her back arced on the bed, and her hands were gripping the sheets around her. He spent his time, licking and sucking her into his mouth, his tongue darting low and back to her clit, rubbing little circles, pulling it with his tongue. She started writhing on the bed, and he kept at it, driving her slowly crazy. Moaning, and bucking against his mouth, she begged. For him to stop? Keep going? Anything at all.. Then his mouth tipped her over into her orgasm. Crying out, her body trembled under his mouth. Her inner muscles clenching at his finger, and his tongue running lazily over her, making her twitch against him, again and again.    
As she stilled, he finally pulled away, and kissed his way back up her stomach, to her chest, to her neck. He settled himself between her legs again, her hands reaching to draw his face to hers. She pressed her lips to his, and he held her hips as he guided himself inside her. She gasped into his mouth as he slowly filled her. He pulled his mouth away from hers and watched her face as he started to ever so slowly move inside her. A slow retreat… then a thrust back in. Her eye closed and her head rolled to the side as she floated in what he was doing to her. He pressed his face into her exposed neck, his mouth nipping at her, causing her skin to run with goosebumps. She moaned as he started to move faster.. Barely. Her legs wrapped around him, and her hands moved to grip his arms. 

As he thrust, he lifted his head to watch her face as he drew them closer and closer to release. One of his hands came up to move her face to face him, and he whispered, “Let me see you.. “ and she couldn’t do more than nod. 

He watched her face.. As he tried to stave off that inevitable fall. She was so hot against him, wet hot silk that threatened his very sanity. She was whimpering beneath him, her eyes closed and chewing on her lip. Her back arched as she got closer, and he reached between them to touch her, drive her higher. Her eyes flew open at the feel of his finger on her, rubbing and circling her clit.    
“Maker..” she breathed, her chest heaving, “ _ Cullen _ .. Please..” she begged as he pushed and pushed her. He kissed her then, this wild tongue wielding kiss full of all he felt, and she kissed him back. Her head pulled away when she finally crested. Moaning low and pressing to him. He cried out, her body clutching at him, pushing him into his own release. They were both shaking and grasping each other, his mouth finding hers again, this time for a slow, satisfied kiss. He finally collapsed against her, his head falling beside hers. Her hips relaxed and they laid there all tangled and entwined in each other. 

 

**Aurelia -**

 

I laid there, his weight on top of me pleasant, and wondered.    
“Will it always be this way, you think?” I asked. He was silent a moment, then he lifted his head and looked down at me.    
“I don’t know, honestly. One can always hope. And endeavor to make it so.” His answer, while short, said enough. She reached up and brushed his hair away from his forehead. “Then we shall endeavor to do so.” He smiled then, a bright brilliant smile. Hopeful even. I returned the smile because beyond everything.. I was as hopeful. He kissed my chin then and rolled off of me, laying next to me, his right hand under his head, the left scratching his belly as he thought.    
“Aurelia.”   
“Hm?”

“What is your favorite color?” 

“What.. ok. I’ll bite. Teal.”

“Teal?”    
I nodded. “It’s the color of the sky before the sun goes down, and the color of the seas near the tower at Ostwick. It’s.. calming. And beautiful.”   
“I don’t know if I have a favorite.. I heard a couple of the serving girls talking about it earlier, and it .. occurred to me I didn’t know yours.” I smiled then. He worried about a favorite color.    
“I think yours is red, Cullen. As much as the red templars aggravate and anger you.. You look regal and commanding in your red. It suits your soul. Your deep and dark and gentle soul.” He coughed. “I’m nothing of the sort, what are you going on about?”   
I turned onto my side and faced him. “Cullen, you are a  **_commander_ ** . You obviously didn’t start out as such, and things, not always good things, shaped you into the man you are today. You faced the unthinkable. And walked away to tell the tale. You are kind, and gentle, and loving, and ruthless and honest. And every day I see something new in you. Like a book I’ve read a dozen times but still there’s always a surprise in there. You treat your men like men.. Not like disposable chatel. You listen to them, and you joke with them and you let them tease you when the moment warrants it.” I took a breath and carried on. “You, deep down inside you, you are a protector. You would put us all under your massive wing and keep us all from harm if you could. But see that’s not your job. That’s not even my job, sadly. But the fact that you could so easily do so, it fascinates me. One thing you can do, in your effort to protect is you train your men to protect. And in essence.. You are protecting them. There are days I definitely think you are the greatest amongst us here. But again, I might just be a little biased.” He looked downright embarrassed. His ears were red and he couldn’t even look at me. I poked his nose. 

“Stop that,” he mumbled at me. “You make me sound like I'm some sort of saint.” I laughed. “You? A saint? After the things we do together… I think not. I do think you've gone and redeemed yourself though. Pesky thing that. Maybe you'll stop beating yourself up soon.” I poked him again. 

“Besides, if you were a saint I wouldn’t be able to ravage you again soon.” He perked up at that. “What if I wanted to ravage you?” he asked with a squint. I laughed. “Then we shall ravage one another and figure out who won that battle later.” He thought for a moment before nodding his agreement. Then he got off the bed and went to grab a drink of water. Offered me a glass. Like a true gentleman. Ah the man was amazing.    
  
**The Next Morning -**

 

I sat in my chair, next to a dwindling fire, as the sun came up. I was wrapped in a blanket, watching Cullen sleep on my bed. We had spent the night talking, about our families, plans we wanted to make when this was all over. About our friends and what we thought they would be doing when this was done. We had talked about hopes and dreams and the life we wanted to build. I had mentioned children and Cullen, bless the man, had gotten quietly excited. We made plans and ignored the fact that we had no idea where we would be in a week, or a month, or even a year. We made plans because plans solidified what we are to each other. And it gave us something to hold onto. 

I sighed and climbed back into the bed, scooted up against Cullen’s back and wrapped my arm around his stomach, he grumbled in his sleep, grabbing my hand and keeping it in his. I rested my forehead against his back and went back to sleep to the sound of his steady breathing. 

A few hours later, Cullen went and brought the dogs to the room with us and we spent the majority of the day just wrapped up in each other and the dogs. Talking, laughing and loving. Probably the best day I could say I’ve had, aside from the not dying under the mountain thing. He went and fetched us food here and there, and as the evening crept up on us, we napped again. But I didn’t sleep.

Couldn’t.

Wouldn’t? I laid there, listening to the dogs and Cullen resting, and my brain was running a million different ways. I couldn’t turn it off. Worry, and strategy, and need just fueled it all. I finally gave up and got up to get dressed. In the closet I grabbed a shirt I had stolen from Cullen the day before. Paired with sleek black leather pants, some brown and black boots, a vest and my long leather coat, I was.. Ready. I went to the mirror and brushed at my hair with my fingers. Wondered if I would be the same when I returned. I braided the side of my hair, tying the ends with leather strips. Washed my face, trying to clear my head with the cold water. After drying it off, I stared at the bed for a minute. Then three minutes. Then ten. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t make myself wake him. Couldn’t leave the room. I had no answers for myself. Saying goodbye would be.. Heartbreaking. But not saying it could break me even more. I decided to go ready my things, and see where my heart sat after that. Like I was in a trance, I made my way quietly out of the room. Through the hall to the courtyard. Everyone was already gathering their things. Bull was helping Dorian secure his things on his horse, Solas was talking to his horse, feeding it a few sugar cubes. Cassandra was off by the wall talking low to Leliana. The scouts we were to be traveling with were all in a huddle, their small fast horses ready and waiting. I had grabbed my pack from the hall, and carried it to my horse. I pet her face, her brown and white dappled face. She was a sturdy horse, strong and fast. She nuzzled my shoulder and let me attach the pack to the saddle. I stuck my staff into the sheathe that Dennet had made for the saddles. Dorian and Solas each had one as well, though Bull would probably just adjust his harness so as to not take off his silly axe. Which was big enough to eat 3 meals from. I sighed. 

I talked to Dennet for a moment, then Cassandra and Leliana. When I turned to go back up the stairs, the dogs came racing down them to me. Fen barreled into my legs in his excitement, knocking me to the ground, and Lady followed suit by attacking my face with her tongue. Fen climbed onto my stomach to get to my face too. Finally I extricated myself from them, and when I sat up, there stood Cullen at the top of the stairs, completely disheveled, no shirt and hair mussed from sleeping. He barely had his boots laced, and looked like.. He was terrified. I moved to stand up as he ran down the stairs and barely had gotten to my feet when he grabbed me and crushed me against his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight.    
“I thought you had left,” he whispered raggedly in my ear.    
“I would never have left without seeing you first,” I whispered back, my voice breaking.    
“If you don’t come back I’ll be very angry at you, Aurelia.”   
“Cullen, the same goes for you. And I have the means to find you if you do something you regret.” He gave a low chuckle. I pulled my face back and looked him in the eye.    
“Do you have the rune Dagna gave you?” he asked. I nodded.    
“I love you. More than anything I’ve ever loved before. You, Cullen Rutherford, you are mine. Don’t ever forget that.”    
“You slay me, Aurelia. Really. I don’t deserve you but.. I could never ever let you go. I love you too. Remember,” and he brought his face close to mine. “Remember you carry  _ my heart _ with you. Keep it safe.” I nodded and kissed him. There in the courtyard, I kissed him like it was the first time. And the last. And the best of me to give to the best of him. His hands clenched in my coat as he kissed me back, his mouth scorching mine. Eventually, we pulled apart, and he set me back on my feet. He sighed. “Come back. Just.. come back.” I nodded.

“You too. I need you to come back. We have plans you know. “ His turn to nod. He grasped my face and kissed me again, and my hands held his wrists. He pulled away finally and gave me one last hug, before yelling at his men to get back to work and briskly walking back up the stairs. I turned and told everyone to mount up. Morrigan, Solas, Dorian, Bull and the scouts, we all rode out of the keep gate. I was at the head of the procession, and as such, I allowed myself to silently cry as we left. 

 

We made it to the Wilds quickly, using well hidden trails Morrigan and the scouts led us down. Less than 12 hours and we were there. Most of us could barely walk when we got to the small forward camp the previous scout group had set up for us. We rested until morning light, then leaving the horses in the camp with a few of the scouts, the rest of us set off into the forest to create a ruckus. 

 

Over the next day or so, we all hit the red templars in little bursts, the scouts going ahead and torching camps and weapon wagons. Then, we heard the horns. Our forces were here. We were exhausted, dirty but all very much whole and alive. I met Cassandra and Empress Celene back at the camp, which had somehow.. Grown by epic proportions since we had last been here. Morrigan and I had a chance to talk alone about what we were possibly looking for, an ancient temple to Mythal, the elven goddess. I shook my head when I went off to get food before we set out again. Bull had already eaten and refilled our packs with provisions and potions should we need them. We were hearing reports of strangely clad Elves attacking the Templars AND our forces, but none of the survivors could say what kind of elves they were, as they were extremely fast and well trained in evasive tactics. By the time we moved out, our forces had spread deep into the wilds, driving back the Templars and Venetori alike. My small group backed up our soldiers where we could, and made a swift pass through the forest. We finally made our final approach to the Temple and found Cullen there with a large group of his troops.

He stood there in full armor, his sword at the ready, his lion helmet in place and his eyes glittering within. He and I locked gazes and with no more than a nod, we continued our way. He and his squad set up a boundary between us any remaining templars in the forest as my group headed into the temple. We entered the first doors, gold and inlaid with swirling designs. Made our way into the temple where we heard Corypheus yelling at someone. We snuck up on the railing and watched as Corypheus attacked a band of elves on a bridge leading farther into the keep. As Corypheus approached said bridge, the two statues flanking the end of it.. Flared to life. And exploded in this massive blast of blue and white magic. We were blown backwards by the force of the blast. And by the time we had gotten off the ground, the elves had ran into the temple, the ones alive still. And Corypheus.. Was dead. We approached his body in shock. I poked his stocking clad leg with my boot and waited with baited breath. We were about to discuss what would happen next.. When one of the dead Warden Mages who had accompanied Corypheus.. His body began to shake on the ground. And it.. Stood up, all limp and distorted. Then the body began to change, morphing into something.. Well shit. Corypheus. We started to run then, across the bridge. We got halfway across when Corypheus’ dragon appeared and started to blast at us. We barely made it inside and closed the door behind us. The door. Which magically sealed itself. We all stared at the door in horror. Sealed inside. With crazy elves. And probably Samson and his templar henchmen. Bull cleared his throat. Dorian just.. Waited, polishing his nails. Morrigan, Solas and I moved off to talk.   
Morrigan explained this was once the greatest temple to the elven goddess, Mythal. Who was the most benevolent and loving goddess of the elves. She was well revered throughout Arlathan. Solas scoffed and him and Morrigan started arguing. They always argued. About magic. Elves. Elven legend.    
  
As they argued, I found this.. Weird floor puzzle. When I stepped on one of the tiles, it lit from below an amazingly beautiful blue color. I stepped on the next one, it lit as well. I stepped back to the first and this discordant sound wafted from the floor. I tried again, stepping from one tile to the next, lighting them all as I went. When the last tile was lit, this jingling sound emanated from the ground and it felt.. Right. Morrigan came up and read the elven plaque that was there, explaining that this was the ritual to honor Mythal. She suggested we follow the ritual, and for once, Solas agreed with her. Bull just told us to keep it moving, as he had an itchy feeling things were going to get weird. Dorian just quipped about there being an awful lot of birds inside a temple. We found Samson and a large group of the red templars. They blasted a hole in the floor and Samson gave half the group orders to kill me and the others. Bull laughed at them and we had a nice rousting fight. In which the templars died. We had a lot of magic on our side. A lot. Morrigan suggested we not follow the templars though. Bull argued for following them. Solas, surprisingly enough, agreed with her again. Rituals followed were more sure to get us where we needed to go faster than any resistance from the templars would allow. I shook my head and we went off to follow ancient elven rituals.    
  
As we progressed through the temple, this hush fell over things. And after I finished the last floor puzzle, we heard this audible sound from the main room. Making our way back there, the big doors we couldn’t open before looked different. And instead of waiting for them all to argue again, I just went and opened the doors. And found myself in what looked like a grand audience hall. And as we approached the hooded elf that stood above the hall, I could feel the subtle change in the air and many eyes upon us.    
The elf introduced himself as Abelas, a guardian of the temple of Mythal and the Well of Sorrows. Morrigan practically jumped out of her skin at the mention of that. I asked Solas to help me talk to the elf and find out what was going on. The elf explained that they had slumbered here for millennia upon many more millennia, only waking when there was a threat to the Temple. They were tired, and knew this was probably going to be their last stand. Abelas offered us help in reaching Samson to stop him from defiling the Well.. but Morrigan was unhappy with that arrangement. Abelas yelled that he was going to destroy the well before Samson or us could use it. Thus prompting Morrigan to shapeshift into a bird and fly after him. We were all.. Stunned. An elven guide showed up then, seemingly from nowhere. And she led us through all of these secret doors and hidden hallways throughout the Temple, and along the way we learned much about the Ancient elves. 

When we reached the end of our trek through the Temple, were shown to a last hidden door. Exiting the door, we were faced with numerous red templars. After a quick bloody battle, we approached what looked to be the doors to the inner sanctum. They were large and ornate. Beautifully preserved. I pushed the door open and felt this.. Calm fall over me. We all exchanged glances when we heard Samson below giving his templars orders. When he saw me approaching, he laughed and told us we were too late. And launched into this monologue about how he was chosen by Corypheus to be the vessel for the Well of Sorrows and that nothing we did could stop him or Corypheus and that we would all die terible deaths. I let him talk, and even tried to talk him out of this crazy plan. But he was so sure.. Of Corypheus. Of his men. Of his beautiful armor inlaid with Red Lyrium. I sighed. I had given him a chance. I pulled out the rune Dagna had given me. The rune hummed in my hand, and the Lyrium on Samson’s armor began to glow, brighter and brighter as I slowly approached him. Then the Lyrium in his armor shattered, making him scream in pain, and as he writhed on the ground he ordered his remaining men to attack us. 

We fought, long and hard. And eventually Samson joined his men in the fight, and even with his armor shattered, he was still magnificently strong. He threw Bull across the walkway into a large boulder, and Dorian barely managed to shield him before he hit it head first. Solas and I looked at each other, and began simultaneously attacking Samson as Dorian gave a potion to Bull. Bull got up and and charged back into the fray, and between the 4 of us, we finally knocked Samson unconscious. We stood there, barely able to breathe, remarking on the toughness of the bastard, when Abelas appeared on the walkway ahead of us, yelling something about us never being able to defile the Well and he ran off up a magical path of stones. Morrigan was close behind him in her bird form still. We all ran up the path, to be stopped short at the top by Morrigan.    
“You heard his parting words, Inquisitor, the elf seeks to destroy the Well of Sorrows,” Morrigan says.

“So the Sanctum is despoiled at last,” Abelas sneered.

“You would have destroyed the Well yourself, given the chance,” Morrigan accuses him. 

“To keep it from your grasping fingers! Better it be lost than bestowed upon the undeserving!”

“Fool! You’d let your people’s legacy rot in the shadows!”

“Corypheus needed Samson to use the Well. Without him, there is no ‘Vessel’ to claim it,” I reminded Morrigan, trying to grasp the situation before it escalated. 

“The moment we leave, he will send more forces to secure this place,” Morrigan counters. “The Well clearly offers power, Inquisitor. If that power can be turned against Corypheus, can you afford not to use it?”   
Abelas sighed and shook his head at us. “Do you even know what you ask?” He stood there, staring into the well. “As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on… through this,” he gestured towards the water, then turned to face me again. “All that we were, all that we knew. It would be lost, forever.”

I sighed. “This can’t be easy, holding onto what’s left.”   
“You cannot imagine. Each time we awaken, it slips further from our grasp,” Abelas says.

“There are other places, friend, Other duties. Your people yet linger,” Solas says from behind me.    
“Elvhen such as  _ you _ ?” Abelas sneered, and Solas answered, “Yes.. such as I.”

Abelas sighed and looked at the Well again. “You have shown respect to Mythal, and there is a righteousness in you I cannot deny,” he turned to face me again. “Is that your desire? To partake of the Vir’Abelasan the best you can, to fight your enemy?” he asked me.

“Not without your permission,” I offered, hoping to appease him.    
“One does not obtain permission. One obtains the right.” He turns away, starts to walk. Stops and turns back to me. “The Vir’Abelasan may be too much for a mortal to comprehend. Brave it if you must, but know you this: You shall be bound forever to the will of Mythal.”   
Morrigan sneers this time, “Bound? To a goddess who no longer exists, if she ever did?”   
“Bound. As we are bound. The choice is yours.” He turns to leave once more.    
“Are you leaving the Temple then?” I ask quietly.    
“Our duty ends. Why remain?” he asked seriously.    
Solas steps forward, “There is a place for you, lethallin.. If you seek it.”   
Abelas considered. “Perhaps there are places the Shemlen have not touched,” and he looks at me again. “It may be that only Uthenera awaits us. The blissful sleep of eternity, never to awaken. If fate is kind.”

“You could come with us. Fight Corypheus. He killed your people.” 

Shaking his head, “We killed ourselves, long ago.”   
“Malas amelin ne halam, Abelas,” Solas says. Abelas just inclines his head towards him, and silently walks away. Solas looked at me with a strange look on his face. “His name. Abelas means ‘sorrow’. I said.. I hoped he finds a new name.” 

 

Morrigan turned to me, then to the Well. Pointing to the mirror on the opposite side, she says wryly, “You’ll note the intact eluvian. I was correct on that count, at least.”   
“Is it still a threat? Can Corypheus use it to travel to the fade?” I asked.

“You’ll recall when I took you through my eluvian, I said each required a key?” I nodded. “The well  _ is _ the key. Take its power, and Mythal’s last eluvian will be of no more use to Corypheus than glass.” She sighed. “I did not expect the Well to feel so.. Hungry.”

“Let’s not be reckless, I don’t want anyone hurt,” I said hastily, at the look of..  _ Need _ on her face.

“I am willing to pay the price the Well demands. I am also the best suited to use its knowledge in your service.”   
Solas scoffed. “Or more likely to your own ends.”

“What would you know of my ends, elf?!” she demanded. 

He sneered at her, “You are a glutton drooling at the sight of a feast, you cannot be trusted!”

She turned away from him, addressing me again. “Of those present, I alone have the training to make use of this. Let me drink Inquisitor..” she implored. I shook my head. 

“I would be,”I started to say, but she interrupted me. “You lead the Inquisition, this is a risk you cannot take. I have the best chance of making use of the Well.. For everyone. Let me drink,” she says again.

“You're not concerned about the price? ‘Bound forever to the will of Mythal’?”

She scoffed at the idea. “Bound to the will of a dead god? It seems an empty warning,” she shrugs, “perhaps a compulsion yet remains. Who can say otherwise? Info not fear it, even so.”

I thought back to Abelas’ warning. “I hate to say it, but maybe Abelas’ plan to destroy the well is the best plan..” 

Morrigan rounded on me. “What happens when Corypheus comes for you again?! He is  _ immortal _ ! The wisdom of the Well may hold a way to destroy him.” Her tone turned beseeching, “Give me this, and I shall fight at your side. I shall be your sword..”

I held my hand up and closed my eyes. Listened to the whispering in the air. I turned my senses towards the Well. 

“Looking at it.. Listening to it.. That's not just knowledge from the ancient Elven priests. It's their will.” Morrigan stared at me. 

“How would you know such a thing?” she asked me. I started to get excited as the pieces fell into place in my head.

“ _ That's _ what Abelas was trying to tell us! The collective will of the priests puts anyone who drinks under a compulsion. A geas. Can’t you feel it?!”    
Morrigan thought a moment. “That…  _ would _ match the legends, but does not tell us what the geas entails.” She shrugged. “I would still use the Well, but you are right. We must be cautious.”   
I look back at Dorian, “Ideas?” I asked.    
Solas answered first, “She is right about only one thing: We should take the power that lies within that Well.”   
Dorian shrugged, “It all seems a bit ghoulish to me, let Morrigan drink if she wants it so much.”   
Bull, his answer surprised me. “Any chance this Well could help us against Corypheus, I say you take it.” 

Morrigan was getting impatient, “Enough deliberation. Give me your decision.”  I just looked at her. I could feel the pull of the Well. Like.. it was meant for me, not Morrigan. 

Without thinking, my mouth answered for me, “If anyone is to use the Well, it will be me.”

“So you will take what little knowledge you can understand and let the rest go to waste?!” Morrigan yelled at me, her yellow eyes flashing angrily at me.    
It was my turn to shrug, “Who is to say it will go to waste?” I ask her.    
“I.. Do..” she said coldly. Then she sighed. “Perhaps it is better this way. Do as you will with the Well of Sorrows, Inquisitor. But be careful.” I nodded. Before I could change my mind I gave a small wave to Dorian, Solas and Bull, and turned to walk to the edge of the Well. I could feel the pull still, like this little tiny string inside my soul was tethered here and finally reeling me in. I stepped into the water, and could feel the tug become more insistent. Little swirls of blue light began leaping out of the water. The Well began to glow around me, and I could feel the power gathering in it. Like it was anticipating me as much as I was it. Everyone watched me with baited breath from the side. I bent and scooped some of the water into my hands. It almost.. Tingled as it slipped through my fingers. I raised my hands to my mouth and sipped the glowing water. As soon as I swallowed, the power exploded through me, and I cried out as it ripped through my body, and the water all rushed out of the well, and I was left standing there, in this blue cloud of magic. 

I could hear whispers, so many of them. Insistent. Pleading. Demanding. Mourning. Some speaking tongues I could recognise, some I couldn’t. Elven? Common? 

_ Garas quenathra?  _ One of the more persistent voices whispered menacingly. I tried to make out shapes, or anything in the mist of magic but could really only see.. Nothing. Swirls of blue magic and mist changing shapes and colors. 

“ _ Why am I here?!”  _ I asked.. But could only hear more unintelligible whispers. So I pressed forward. “ _ Corypheus.. A magister wishes to rip the Veil open. I must learn how to stop him. _ ” I pleaded, my eyes darting everywhere. 

“ _ If you can help me vanquish Corypheus, take whatever price you wish _ .”

And I felt something.. Seize me. And clear as day, “ _ Vir Mythal’enaste.” _ and these little balls of bright blue magic floated towards me, and settled inside my chest and head. It felt like.. Having a thousand thoughts at once. One body wearing a thousand souls. I fell to my knees in pain, as more and more of those little lights took up residence inside me. Then… a blast of power struck me and my entire body glowed with blue elven runes. Then.. blessed blackness. 

“Inquisitor! INQUISITOR!” I could hear someone yelling at me. Solas? I opened my eyes to find myself laying inside the well, the empty well. I look around frantically, trying to center myself. I sat up, as if propelled. But, Maker, I was so dizzy. And my head, it felt beyond.. Full. I knelt for a moment before stumbling to my feet, motioning for the others to stay back. I held my head, closing my eyes as I adjusted to the..  _ more  _ inside my head. 

“How.. do you feel?” Dorian asked me quietly as I stood there swaying a moment. But I couldn’t answer. Because all around me, I could see blue swirling mist, little dancing magic blue lights, surrounding my feet as I moved around. The wonder that sight brought me I will never forget. I turned to see if the others could see it, but before I could say anything, we heard a roar of rage. We all looked back towards the entrance to the Wel room, and there stood Corypheus. He rose off the ground and started flying towards us.    
I yelled at the others, and before I could do anything else, I started to glow blue and I could feel the Eluvian opening behind us. I yelled for the others to hurry, and one by one they all ran through the mirror, I stayed to go through last, and before I ran through, this swirl of water appeared out of the ground, with a figure of some sort in the center, blocking Corypheus from grabbing me. As I leapt through the mirror, Corypheus charged the funnel of water and they both hit the mirror as it closed down behind me. We all stood there in the crossroads, breathing heavily and staring at the now dead mirror. Morrigan sighed and led us to her Eluvian, and from there we went back to Skyhold.    
  
After I went up to my rooms to change, I made my way back to the war room. Cullen was there with the others. I breathed a silent sigh of relief.    
“I’m pleased to report that we won the battle, Inquisitor,” he said. “When you went through that mirror, Corypheus and his archdemon fled the field. I’m not entirely sure why.”   
Morrigan answered before I could. “What he wanted was no longer within the Temple.” 

“Perhaps. He spent so long trying to get into the temple, he probably couldn’t have helped his forces by that point,” Cullen said. Josephine looked hopeful. “Then Corypheus is finished.”

Leliana sighed, “If he is wise, he will hide and rebuild his strength before he attacks again.”   
I cocked my head as the voices started buzzing at me inside my head. Closed my eyes and listened. “He will not hide,” I say as I figure out what the voices were trying to say.    
Morrigan perked up, “You hear it, The Well speaks to you.”

“ _ Something _ from that Well is speaking to me, though it’s hardly making sense.”

“If only one who understood such voices had used the Well’s power instead,” she said snidely.    
Leliana scoffed then, “Then we’d have to rely on  _ her _ interpretation of them and whatever she chose to tell us.”   
“Have I not been forthcoming enough for you,  _ Spymaster _ ?” then she turned on me, “I told you what the Well  _ could _ have done, Inquisitor, You should be hearing shouts from the heavens, not whispers!” Morrigan was seething.    
“Then help me!” I yelled at her. “Isn’t that what you came here to do!?” 

Morrigan shook her head and sighed. “Earlier you said you knew what needed to be done next, what did you mean?” she asked me.

I got excited again. “The dragon isn’t an Archdemon! It’s a dragon in which Corypheus has invested part of his power! Kill it, and his ability to jump to other bodies is disrupted for a time. He  _ can _ be killed.”   
Leliana thought on that a moment, while Josephine wrote furiously at her paper. Leliana spoke up first, “That’s… no simple task. Corypheus alone is powerful, but with his Dragon..?”    
I interrupted her, “There is a way, but I will need Morrigan’s help.” 

She almost rolled her eyes at me, thought better of it. “The voices from the Well tell you that, do they? Very well, Inquisitor. Speak to me when you are ready to begin this ‘plan’ of yours,” she said before stalking from the room.    
Josephine, Cullen and Leliana traded sidelong glances. “Are you… certain of this?” Josie asked me. I couldn’t help but laugh softly.

“I don’t think ‘certain’ is the right word..” 

Cullen just nodded at me. “I’ll see to Skyhold’s defenses in the meantime.” Everyone else nodded their assent and took their leave.

I stood there on the opposite side of the table from Cullen. He just stared at me when we were alone.    
“Cullen,” I started to say, and he just held out his hand. Then he walked around the table, grabbed my arms and pulled me to him, his arms wrapping around me and crushing me in a hug against him. I sighed and settled into the embrace. My hands gripped the back of his shirt and I clung to him as much as he was to me. “I have never been so scared as I was when that temple door sealed shut behind you!” he whispered quietly. I nodded. We had all been scared, I think.    
“Cullen, I .. I need to explain what happened to you.” He just nodded.    
“Tonight. We will talk tonight. For now, your people need to see their Inquisitor. And we have a moment to breathe.” He kissed my forehead and pulled away from me, walking swiftly from the room. The rest of the day passed in a blur, people asking me a million questions, congratulating me for rousting that evil Magister upstart. I even had a few of the serving girls giggling in awe at me. And through it all, the voices in my head were quietly but persistently there. The pain had subsided once the initial danger at the Well had passed, and now it was more like.. An annoying buzz between my ears that I couldn’t quite  _ hear _ . I could  _ feel _ them though. I finally managed to extricate myself from the hall, and went for a walk to clear my head. As I made my way out onto the battlements, the voices whispered to me, and turning I saw Dorian heading straight towards me.    
“Why did you drink!?” he asked me, his voice almost a low hiss. I cocked my head and just looked at him. “Dorian, why are you mad at me?” I asked him quietly.    
“Because I love you, you stupid woman! You should have let Morrigan drink! Now you are forever bound to some elven goddess and who knows what could happen! What if Mythal returns and, and, I don’t know! She could turn you into a dragon! Or make you peel her grapes! Or even worse, she could take you away from us!” He was shouting at me. 

I.. Well I just dumbly stared at him. “Why are you yelling at me?! I had a choice to make! Let  _ her _ drink it, and never know whether or not she was being fully truthful. Or drink it myself, since neither you or Solas would. Or even should. Dorian! She held things back, and while never an outright lie, there were VERY IMPORTANT OMISSIONS on her part! I have THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of people depending on  _ ME  _ Dorian!” I was shouting back. I started pacing, “Corypheus doesn't intend to stop with Ferelden or Orlais, but the Free Marches, Antiva, Tevinter. Par Vollen, Rivain, everywhere! The WORLD Dorian! And we are all that stand in his way! Us! This ragtag band of mages and warriors and rogues and soldiers who were never intended to fight for the fate of the world. I have this fucking thing,” and I waved my left hand wildly in the air, “and for all the good it does us, it's stuck there. In me. On me? Who cares?!” I stopped moving. “Dorian I'm terrified. Every moment. For Cullen. You. Bull. Everyone. Because I have.. I've come to love all of you and my heart nearly shatters every time we leave with the chance of not coming back,” I was whispering by the time I finished speaking. He looked as shocked as I felt. 

“I hate all of this. Every moment. Because it's like this never ending suspenseful moment that's tearing me apart.” 

He sighed. I sighed. “I'm sorry I yelled at you, Auri. And… Made you say ‘fucking'.” I shook my head. 

“Don't be sorry for being honest. I'd rather there be harsh honesty than sweet lies. And I think it enough, might as well say it sometimes.” 

“You certainly  _ do _ it enough to use the word,” he mumbled while scratching his head. I narrowed my eyes. “Like you have room to talk. Really, Dorian? In Cullen's office?!” 

“It was NEXT to his office. Not  _ in _ his office. If you're going to get critical, get it right.” 

And I laughed. All my indignation, and anger, melted away at that ridiculous notion. And the voices in my head.. Were blessedly silent. He hugged me then. 

“While you laid there where the water had stood not seconds before.. You looked dead, Auri. And I was terrified. And then you breathed and I've never been more grateful for air than in that stupid moment. Don't do that to me again!” I buried my face against his shoulder. 

“I love you too, Dorian.”

“You are going to kill me Aurelia. I've never had a friend like you before. You make me feel like this really protective older brother and I don't appreciate it. I'd rather be the dashing annoying  _ younger _ brother who gets you into trouble. Not the one at the sidelines watching with baited breath, to see if you live or die.” 

“Dorian, haven't you heard?” I pulled away and gave him the sauciest look I could. “I'm the luckiest unlucky woman on the planet. I have mountains fall on me, dragons try to eat me, I got blown into the fade and came out alive. I've got a weird mystical anchor and.. Here I am. Have a little faith in me. Or in my lucky unluckiness.”

“How does Commander Cullen put up with that wasabi wonder?” he asked me with a disdainful sniff. “Sassing aside, keep being lucky, we need you.” I just nod. Kisses my head and turns to leave, and stops in his tracks. I turn to look and Cullen was standing there leaning against a wall, just watching us. Very reminiscent of that night he first kissed me. “If you'll excuse me?” Dorian muttered before making a hasty exit.

 

**Cullen -**

 

I had managed to hear most of their conversation. Hadn’t actually meant to, but they were so intent on yelling at each other who was I to interrupt..? Maker, but she was amazing when she was mad. Her eyes flashed a brighter blue, and her skin almost glowed. She had looked so fierce. And broken. And she was lucky I knew about Dorian and Bull.. Otherwise all those “I love you’s” would have given me pause. While Dorian ran away, I just watched her. She tried to fix her hair. Straighten her shirt. Scuffed her boots on the floor. And had the grace to look a small bit embarrassed. 

“How..” she coughed. “How much did you overhear there?” she asked me. 

“Well, I came up right around the part where you yelled about your..  Fucking hand.” 

She blushed. Looked away from me to try and hide it, but it was there. “Ah. Yes. That. Well. What can I say? Heat of the moment, and all that.” 

I laughed. I had spent so much of the last few days.. Beyond terrified of what awaited us in the Wilds. And my fears were the least of my worries now. 

“Why did you drink?” I asked, still leaning against the wall. 

“How could I ask anyone else to?” she asked. She sighed and walked over to me. She grasped my hand and pulled me away from the wall, and led me back through the keep to her room. Once there, and after she had locked the door, she let go of me and pointed to the bed. I sat and waited. She went into her closet and I could hear her changing her clothes. When she came out she was wearing a long silver night gown and had a blanket in her hands. She motioned for me to stand and so I did. Still waiting. She unbuckled my breastplate, and dropped it to the floor.

“We're going up.” 

I just raised an eyebrow. She grabbed another blanket and handed it to me. Then she walked outside onto the side balcony and handed me the blanket she held then, she started to climb the wall. I watched where she put her bare toes to climb, and within seconds she was climbing onto the roof. She held out her hands and I tossed the blankets to her. Then I climbed. I felt like a child again, climbing trees to escape my sister. When I reached the top, I was amazed. I looked around and could see.. Everything. 

As I was looking everywhere at once, the sun started to set. I heard her behind me, and she had taken one blanket and was spreading it on the rooftop. I watched her for a moment. 

“How often do you do this?” I asked. She shrugged.

“More than anyone knows? I come up here to think. Get away from all the people and their.. Feelings. It's  _ my _ place. Well, ours now if you want.” She seemed to kill that over, like she wasn't sure why she said it. She nodded then. “Ours. Unless you choose for there to not be an us after we talk,” her voice has gotten soft and.. Almost sorrowful. I shook my head and moved to sit with her. I sat next to her, crossed my legs and picked her up to sit on my lap. I grabbed the second blanket and wrapped it around us both. 

“So talk,” I say, my arms tight around her.

And she did. She explained what had happened as they trekked through the temple. Their paying homage to Mythal, her arguments with Morrigan, the meeting of the ancient elves, their finding Samson on the cusp of the Well. The fight that had really almost gone wrong so many times. Her other argument with Morrigan after talking with the elf Abelas. And how she knew that letting Morrigan drink was the wrong thing to do. 

“Cullen. I could hear it. The Well. It was pulling at me. I don’t know if it felt the power of the anchor and wanted to know more, or if it was  _ me _ but.. Saying yes to Morrigan felt so wrong. And I couldn't ask or order anyone else to do it. So it was me. And, Maker, it hurt. Almost as bad as that poison. Maybe more.” She shook her head. “I'm still me,” she whispered then. She looked up at me. “I'm still me.” 

And I breathed a sigh of relief I didn't know I'd been keeping inside me. I nodded. “Alright then, you’re still you. Does it feel odd?” I asked. She pondered the question, seemed to be listening to something I couldn’t hear.    
“It does. Aaaand it doesn’t. It’s hard to explain. They aren’t ‘with’ me. But I hear them like they are around me. And sometimes, when they are really insistent, they crowd around my brain and I feel like I have all the thoughts at once. But they know so many things. Some of which I still can’t understand. But some I can. Like..” and she paused. She seemed to consider. “Cullen, if I could do something about your nightmares, would you let me?” she whispered it. It was my turn to consider. Would I?   
“How would you help me?” I asked, curious to know.    
“Well. The voices say they can help you. That your nightmares aren’t normal nightmares.. Uldred planted some sort of deep seated compulsion that would bring it to the surface.. The things you endured and saw. It would feast and grow inside your mind and eventually drive you insane.” I stared down at her. She closed her eyes and listened again. “They said that you have a remarkably strong will, and your quitting taking lyrium helped stem the growth of whatever it is. But that it will never fully go away unless it is removed.”    
“And they can remove it?” I whisper. I was somewhat numb. And relieved. And scared? 

She shook her head. “I can. They can tell me how, but I would be the one doing it. They said.. That since the anchor allowed me into your mind before, that it should be painless and,” she swiped at her face as a tear fell from her eye, “that you should sleep like any normal magic-free human. They said you will be free.” And she wiped away another tear. 

“What.. what do they want for this information?” I asked, almost afraid to know. I was clutching at Aurelia, like she was my lifeline. She shook her head.    
“Nothing. They want nothing. They are offering this as,” she sniffed, “as a boon to me. Because you are important to me, and I am important to them. So you are important to them.” I sighed.    
“Cullen, you could be free. Really.. Free.” 

“Why do you sound so worried?” I asked her. 

“What.. what if you being free changes how you feel about me?” she whispered. I pulled her closer.    
“If you think freedom would take me away, why would you offer it to me?”    
“Because I’ve seen your nightmares Cullen. They are horrifying and anyone would want to be free of that.”    
“If losing the nightmares means I lose you.. Then I will keep them and you.”    
She turned around to face me. “No! What.. why would you choose that!?” 

“Because, you are the best thing I have ever had. What’s a few nightmares in comparison to a life without you?” And she just stared at me.    
“You would choose that kind of pain… to stay with me?” I nodded. Instantly. There was no thinking that through. She seemed shocked.   
“Aurelia. I don’t want you to fear losing me. So if you think that could happen, then let me keep the dreams. But.. I don’t think that will happen. Because I love you. Not what you can give me. I entered into this because of you. Not your magic. Because of your heart, and how you take care of people, and you give with no thought of getting back.” I paused then. I sounded like her.. Lecturing her on her better qualities.

“Look now, you're rubbing off on me. I'm beginning to sound like you. That counts for something right?” I kissed her forehead.

“Stop worrying. If we do whatever those.. Voices? Those voices tell you to, to fix my dreams, then they'll be fixed and I'll still be here. Because there's nowhere I'd rather be.”

And I wasn't lying. Nothing could chase me away at this point. Not even ancient elven whispers.

 

**Aurelia -**

 

I sat there, curled up in his lap. Debating if I should do the spell  _ they _ were giving me. But not doing it sounded far worse. I looked up at him again. He just looked.. Certain.

“Shall we do it now?” I offered hopefully. He just nodded. 

I crawled off his lap and knelt in front of him. “Lay down on your back, put the blanket beneath your head.” 

He did so, settling back on the roof without a word. I crawled over to sit at his right side. I smiled down at him. “They say it might hurt for a moment, but please.. Trust me..” He nodded. Then I  _ listened.  _

I leaned down and gave him a soft kiss, and pulled away a little. I put my hands on either side of his head, and whispered the elven words being whispered to me. My hands began to glow, then I could feel the lock on the spell inside his mind unravel. His eyes closed and I could feel the pain blooming inside of him. It spread down his body. He tensed, clenching his fists on his chest. I kept whispering the spell as the last of the spell fizzled away. I could see the magic dropping from his body, this sick ghastly orange color. It dropped from him and dissipated into nothing. I finished my own spell, and felt weakness creep over me. 

I managed to whisper, “Catch me,” before I fell over, unconscious. 

A few minutes later I opened my eyes, found myself laying in Cullen's arms. I reached up and touched his cheek. He gave me a shaky smile.

“You worried me for a minute. Are you alright?” he asked me. I nodded.

“That was a little more power than I had expected to have to unravel. But I can feel it. Cullen it's gone.” 

He nodded. “I can feel it too. It’s.. Amazing. You're amazing. I.. I feel light. I feel whole!” He pulled me up from the roof and crushed me in a hug I thought just might kill me. I hugged him back. And then he kissed me. This brilliantly bright, hopeful and deep kiss that shook me to my core. When he pulled away, his face was awash with moonlight and he looked peaceful. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. I shook my head. “There's nothing to thank me for. I fixed a wrong done to you. If our roles were reversed you would have done the same. Let's call this a down payment on our life together.” 

His eyes almost twinkled at me. He pulled me close again and started to kiss me again, this time slow.. Deliberate and seductive. He ran his hands down my back as his mouth ravaged mine. He pulled away enough to say, “This nightgown thing is amazingly soft. How come you never wear it?” 

I laughed then. “Because I'm always dressed or naked. You typically see to that.” He pondered that. Then shifted me on his lap so that I was straddling him. I blushed. 

“You should wear this kind of thing more often. Then I'd get to have the pleasure of removing it. Like this.” He pushed one of the straps from my shoulder. I looked around and could see no one. He nudged the other strap off my shoulder, then hooked a finger on the front between my breasts, and pulled it down, revealing me to his gaze. I waited to see what he would do next. He sighed and traced the scar on my face with his thumb, then ran it down my jaw. 

“You know what amazes me?” he asked me out of nowhere. I cocked my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. His hand hooked around the back of my neck. 

“You are possibly one of the most beautiful people I've met. And I'm not just talking about your face, though that itself is stunning enough. But you've got this.. Goodness that fairly shines out of you. You're kind.” His thumb mindlessly rubbed against my neck, over my pulse.

“You're loving. And you're open. And you trust. Even in all this chaos you trust.” He sighed again. “And your eyes. Your eyes catch me every time I see you from across a room. They're.. The window to you but so much more. And they're the most expressive part of you.” He leaned forward then, “You're blushing again. I can tell even in the moonlight. And you're embarrassed. Now you know how I feel when you wax poetic about my various virtues.” He smiled at me. I just shook my head. “You're enjoying this aren't you?” I asked. He chuckled. And nodded. And brought his mouth close to mine. His hands moved to my chest, each on a breast.    
“Your skin is so soft. How do you do that?” he whispered, his thumbs caressing my nipples. I pressed my mouth to his, my hands gripping his shirt. He gave this pleased grunt when I pressed closer to him. His left hand slid down my stomach, across my hip and lifted the bottom of my nightgown high up my thigh. As I kissed him, my tongue tangling with his, his hand slid up my thigh, and his hand slipped between my legs. I sighed into his mouth as his thumb rubbed against me, parting me and finding my clit. I twitched against him as he gave it a rub.. Two.    
“Really? Here?” I asked as I pulled my mouth away from his. He just looked around then nodded. I wouldn’t ask twice. I slid my hands down his chest and untied his pants. I slid my hand inside and grasped him, hard and hot already. He closed his eyes and sighed. I slid my thumb over the tip, and he trembled under me. I gripped his chin with my hand and brought his mouth back to mine as I stroked him in earnest. I rubbed his tongue the same way I stroked his cock.. Long and soft. His hand started to move on me again, in time with my hand on him. After a few minutes of this, I was squirming on his lap and he was thrusting his hips. He finally pulled his mouth from mine, pulled my hand from him and pulled my hips closer to him, and guided himself to my entrance. I gripped his shoulders and shifted my hips, urging him to give us what we both want.    
Finally he thrust himself up and into me. I groaned, my head falling back. And he started to move, his hands on my hips, guiding our movements. In, and out, slow at first. He was so hot inside me.. Every stroke of him sending fire coursing through me. I started to move on my own, my hips grinding against him, his hands moving back to my breasts, kneading and caressing. I brought my mouth back to his, lips trembling as we drove each other higher.    
I started to shake, so close. His hands slid around me and gripped my butt, guiding me as I rode him. I pulled my mouth from his, pressed my face to his shoulder and drowned the moan trying to escape me. He thrust, once.. Twice.. More and I came apart on top of him. Shaking and shuddering, crying out against his shoulder. Muscles clenching, heat flooding my body, his hands still holding me close as he thrust through my orgasm. After a minute.. And a few more thrusts, he groaned as he met his own release. Hot inside me, throbbing and shaking. I kept twitching on top of him. He kept trembling under me.   
“This just gets better. Every time,” he whispered hoarsely. I chuckled, nodded my head against his shoulder. And shivered. I pulled my head up and looked at his face. He seemed very.. Satisfied with himself. I kissed him. Soft and light. And I sighed. And shivered again.   
“Let’s go to bed,” he suggested, and wrapped the blanket back around me. After a few minutes, we managed to collect ourselves enough to head back down to my room. I stripped from my nightgown, yawning the whole while. I climbed into the bed and laid down, my eyes closing of their own accord. I felt him climb into the bed behind me, snuggle up to my back. His arm came around me, his hand settling over my heart. And I fell asleep in his arms, at home as I ever was. 


	11. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurelia and Cullen have an argument, meets an unexpected ally, and finally.. Confronts Corypheus.

**Aurelia A Few Days Later -**

 

I was in a fairly foul mood by the noon meal. Between Solas yelling at me for drinking from the well, letters from “home” congratulating me on my victory and trying to garner my favor. Yeah. Alright then. Not happening. Then, as if by some insane bit of fortune, we were given information on Corypheus’s situation. More and more of his men were leaving his side. Abandoning ship as it were. They were fleeing him, and us. It was a greatly ironic thing. Then Cullen got word of a small contingent of ours being attacked out in the Hissing Wastes, and that put him in a foul mood, he bit my head off when I tried to check on him earlier. Dorian had a letter from home and that put HIM in a really pleasant mood. Pleasant meaning that he was snarly at everyone. I stalked through the main hall, I grabbed a sandwich and a canteen of water and stomped out of the hall, glaring at anyone who tried to stop me.    
The Voices were even silent. Apparently my rage was great enough to even silence them. I made my way outside the main hall, then down into the currently unoccupied dungeon. Ran down the stairs and through the main cell room out into the room with the broken floor. I stopped at the edge of the floor, stared down into the rushing water that seemed to flow out endlessly from under the keep. I sat down there, crossed my legs and started to break my sandwich into pieces, eating them one by one. Chewing slowly, I invited the Voices back to talk to me. They had told me of how to kill Corypheus. How to cure Cullen. And many many other things. Stories of the elves, magicks long lost. They had told me of many things I had never even heard about. Ways in which herbs could be used for healing, or prolonged sleep, or how to stop pregnancy safely. Today they just.. Lent me their advice on our current circumstances. Reminded me of the corrupted dragon that was inexplicably linked to Corypheus. 

I stayed there for a while, even after I finished my food, drank my water. Probably an hour or two. I laid back on the stones, stared up at the ceiling. I was scared. Scared for my friends. Scared for Cullen. Scared for my people. I had yet to go talk to Morrigan, because I was worried what she might say. What more she could possibly reveal after all of this. The Voices and I were beginning to understand each other. I was learning their language, and them mine. It was an interesting relationship. If it could be called that. What’s more, I was fairly certain that had Morrigan drank from the well, I would never have been able to cure Cullen. Not that HE seemed in a position to care today. I frowned again. Heard someone clearing their throat behind me. But I didn’t bother to look.

“Go. Away.”

“Aurelia.”    
Gah. Cullen. How did he always manage to find me? I sat up and crossed my legs again, still at the every edge of the floor.    
“I can’t take any more today, Cullen. Please just go.” 

He sighed.    
“I’m sorry about earlier. Please. Come away from there so we can talk.” I laughed. It was far more bitter than I had figured it would be. 

“Why should you be sorry?” I asked, still unmoving.    
“I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier. Today has been a ridiculous day, terrible news on top of horrible news. And I took it out on you. I didn’t mean to.” I snorted. Very unlady like.    
“Cullen, I don’t care that you snapped at me. Because you can’t be all sunny and sweet all the time. Neither can I. But the way you did it, the ‘Don’t mother hen me, if I weren’t fine don’t you think I’d tell you? I’m busy’ - That.. that was uncalled for, no matter how busy you were. You sounded like a harassed husband. And since less than 3 days ago I did something insanely magical to your brain, something I have NEVER seen done to another person ever, well I had cause to ask you. You could have taken 15 seconds to say, ‘Hey, I feel fine, just some stuff going on. I’ll find you in a while.’ It wouldn’t have been hard.” I had gotten quieter as I talked. He walked over and sat next to me, though a bit farther back from the edge. Took my hand and kept it even though I tried to pull it back, like a sulky child. He brought it to his lips, kissing my knuckles. And there he was. The Cullen I knew and loved. I sighed.   
“You take the fun out of a good bout of anger, Cullen. I was trying to be angry with you. I was just trying to be angry in general. Everything hurts. I’m tired, Cullen,” I whispered. He heaved a sigh.    
“I am sorry. I'm not used to someone.. Anyone worrying over me. And Cassandra had already asked after me, and the two messengers who had dire news. It was just my temper was short and you caught it. I'm sorry, love.” 

I sighed again. “I can't say I'm sorry. Because your well-being is important to more than just me. More so to me, because for some reason I cannot fathom at the moment, I love you. So don't be an ass, and I won't tell you to go away. Alright?” 

“Alright. Can you come away from the edge now?” he asked. I laughed and scooted back, where he grabbed me and hauled me onto his lap.

“Oh, hello Commander. I missed you today,” I said with a smile, my hand coming up to caress his face. 

“Well, Inquisitor, as such, I relieve you of your duties today, and am going to keep you all to myself,” he said, after kissing my palm. 

“Cullen we can't just abandon our jobs,” I started to say, but his mouth silenced me. Effectively too. I closed my eyes and just let myself enjoy the moment. His hand came up and wrapped around my neck, holding me close. His tongue stealing into my mouth, dancing with mine. I gripped his furred collar, deepening the kiss. He gave this low growl, tightening his own grip on me. I pulled my mouth away, looked up at him. “Shall we retire to my quarters, Ser Commander?” I asked. He kissed me again, hard and quick. 

“You go first. I, ah, need a moment to collect myself. I'll be there shortly.” He was blushing. Profusely. I giggled, knowing the  _ why _ , and kissed him again. “Shall I stay and protect your manhood?”

“Maker’s breath, woman. Just go, before you make it worse.” He sounded very exasperated. 

“But, Cullen!” I said with a laugh, and he pushed me off his lap. I collapsed on the floor, giggling again. He huffed at me. I finally managed to get off the floor, and I made my way back up into the courtyard. I hurried back up the stairs to the main hall and into my bedroom. I ran up the stairs, and without even stopping, rushed into the closet, and started stripping. I pulled out one of the nightgowns that Leliana had picked out for me, a dark midnight blue with silver embroidery on the hem, and silvery straps. Soft and silky, with slits up the sides to the tops of my thighs. Really a ridiculous thing but who was I to argue?    
I stepped out of the closet and went to stand in front of the mirror. I ran a hand down my stomach, marveling at the softness of the material. Turning to one side, then the other, I was mildly amazed at how.. Really great it looked. The material clung to my chest, and gently flared out just a little at the hips. I had to wonder if this was really something women wore all the time. We were given very plain night clothes in the tower, long floor length white nightgown with long sleeves. Most of us didn't care as it wasn't like anyone was really looking. 

But this? This was something I could get used to. 

I went and grabbed one of my various books on magic, and went to the bed to wait. I sat in the center of the bed, crossed my legs under the nightgown and started to read. As I read, the Voices came back and started whispering, letting me know what was wrong with what I was reading, which theories weren’t correct or were unfinished. I gave up after a minute and tossed the book onto the floor. I laid back on the bed and sighed. I laid there for a few and must have dozed.    
I woke when I heard someone enter the room. I stretched and looked to find Cullen standing by the bed, just looking down at me. He was wearing just a tunic and some pants. His hands were on his hips and he looked pleasantly surprised.    
“I had Leliana get me some more of these silly nightgowns. Since you liked the last one so much. I like.. I like this one,” I said with a whisper as he just stood there silently looking at me. He reached up and grasped his shirt behind his head, and pulled it over his head, dropping it to the floor.    
“You, ah, you get more beautiful every day,” he said quietly as he moved to climb onto the bed. I laid there while he settled himself on top of me. “I’m sorry it took me so long, we had another messenger and Leliana needed something. But I am almost glad it took that long, finding you here like this was worth the wait,” he said with a small smile, before he kissed my forehead.    
“Cullen. Do you like it?” I asked, still somewhat unsure. He nodded, rather enthusiastically.    
“I love it. Here, let me show you,” then his mouth descended to mine, his tongue stealing in to tangle with mine. Enthusiasm, mixed with passion and a fierce need poured off of him. His hand ran down my side, hot and heavy. I wrapped my hands around his neck, keeping his face close to mine. He growled low in his chest, pushed away. I just looked up at him, arching an eyebrow. He knelt on the bed, and pulled me up to do the same. 

He raised his hands to my shoulders, slid the straps of the nightgown down my arms. It clung to my breasts for a moment, before settling on my hips. He pulled me close, sliding his hands around me, to grip my butt, pressing me against him. I sighed at the feel go his hot skin against me. His lips took mine again, this slow kiss that shook me to my very core. My hands gripped his arms and he just held me there, pressed together, while he melted my mind with his mouth. He moved his hands back to my hips, then slid them down until he reached the skin on the top of my thighs. He curled his fingers just enough to catch the silky fabric.. And he started to slide his hands back up, taking the material with them. The higher his hands drew the fabric, the less I could concentrate. His hands reached my hips, then they stole under the fabric to grip my butt again. I moaned softly, he was doing his best to make me crazy. He pulled his mouth away, looking down at me with this smug little half grin. I leaned forward and kissed his chest, just below his collarbone. Put my hands to his chest, rubbing his skin in soft lazy circles. Down his chest they moved, caressing and feather light touches. Goosebumps raced across his skin. I smiled myself, had him exactly where I wanted him. My hands reached the waistband of his pants, and made quick work to the tie. I slid one hand inside, to grasp his very approving arousal. He took a shuddering breath.

“Oh, is this alright, love?” I asked with a low whisper, my thumb grazing the tip of his cock, making him shake. 

“Oh, aye, very much so,” he replied with a sigh. I stroked him.. Once. Twice. He pressed his forehead to mine. Three times. Then four. “Maker’s Breath, woman.” I chuckled.

“I don't think the Maker has anything to do with what I'm doing to you, Cullen,” I said with a grin, stroking him again. He heaved a sigh, taking his hands back and pushing down his pants. I made this little “Ah, ha” sound and he laughed. He moved to stand up next to the bed, and I followed. He finished removing his pants as I stood next to him. He sighed, looking down at me, the nightgown still snug against my hips. He hooked a finger in either side of it, pushed it down, and it slithered to the floor. His breath caught, as it so often does when he just.. Looks at me. I could feel the flush spreading up my chest and he gave another chuckle.

“Still blushing? After all this time?” he asked me as he took a step towards me. I only nodded. He took a second step and was so close. But still not touching me again. 

“Cullen?” I whisper, looking up at him. He kind of.. Swooped in and grabbed me, pulling me close again, his mouth claiming mine, his hands moving down to grasp my butt. I gasped as he lifted me against him, pulled my mouth from his. “Wrap your legs around me,” he whispered. I nodded, and did so, and he walked forward a few steps, pressing my back against the closet door. I gasped as the cold wood caught me off guard. I ran my finger down the scar on his lip. He kissed my finger. I leaned in and kissed him, and he hooked a hand under me, parting me and making me shake in his arms. 

He slid his finger against my clit, making me jump against him. Then he slid it back, slipping it inside me. I moaned into his mouth. He pulled his mouth away, “I’ve been thinking about doing this to you for hours,” he said, his voice low and ragged. He moved his hand, then I could feel the head of his cock slide against me, and into me. I closed my eyes, as he slowly thrust his full length into me. I gripped his arms, shivered and let him take us away.    
His hands came back to my butt, holding me up and against the wall, as he started to slowly thrust into me. I moaned, savoring the feel of his skin against mine, hot and slick. Delicious tension built with every thrust, every grind against me. He brought his forehead to mine, his breathing harsh.    
“Cullen,” I whispered, my own breathing ragged. He paused his movements, looked at me. “I love you,” I whispered. His face softened, and he kissed me gently, “And I, I love you,” he answered me. I nodded. He nodded. Then he drove himself into me again, slow and maddening. I groaned, and he smirked. Then he moved. Faster.. Again and again he thrust, and I started to whimper, the higher he drove me. He closed his eyes, and moaned himself as he began to shake.    
“Maker, I can’t..” he started to say, and I shushed him with my mouth, moving my hips with his hands and he stiffened in my arms, groaning as he met his release. He throbbed hot and hard inside me, and ground his pelvis against mine, keeping me close. His hand snaked between us, began to rub me, and that was all it took.. A quick flick of his finger over those oversensitized nerves and I was gone.. Crying out, my hand grabbing his wrist, holding him there? Pushing him away? I couldn’t tell as I sat there trembling, shuddering, muscles clenching and sweat coating my skin. He stood like that for a few moments, us locked together against the door, his hand still against me, as my own hadn’t released it. He pressed his face into my neck, took a breath. He then moved, carrying me to the bed, depositing me there before moving to the dresser for a cloth. I held out my hand for it, and he handed one over.    
After cleaning things up, I wrapped the sheet around me, and sat on the end of the bed. He sat next to me, took my hand. Kissed my knuckles. We sat there for a few, fingers entwined, and watched the sky darken outside. 

“Can you make me a promise?” I asked him quietly. He raised an eyebrow. “If all of this, if it all goes according to plan. If.. when.. Cassandra becomes Divine, and the circles are remade, don’t let them take me,” I whispered. He looked taken aback.    
“Cassandra doesn’t want to reinstate the Circles as they were, she wants to make them voluntary, change how things are done. She would never force you back into a circle, Aurelia. Where is this coming from?” 

“I’ve, Maker this sounds stupid to say, I’ve had dreams. And not even close to pleasant ones. Where there are new circles and I am forced to leave everything here and I never see you again,” my words were tumbling out in a panic to be said, my heart racing. He sighed, and put his arm around me, pulling me close. I pressed my face against his chest, praying I wouldn’t cry.    
“That would  _ never _ happen. Do you hear me? Nothing short of death could keep me away from you.  _ Nothing. _ ” 

All I could do was nod. His hand was under my chin, lifting my face, his eyes serious. “You are the brightest being I have ever seen. Ever. Don’t tell Cassandra I said that. But you are. And nothing short of death could take me from this that we have. You, you saved me. And you loved me before even that. Which is the best thing I have ever received.” My hand came up to cover his, and I sighed.   
“I’m being silly, I know. But it’s there, festering in my mind. We are so close to beating Corypheus, and I just want to.. Stay. With you. Here. In this stupid stodgy castle, more home to me than that tower ever was.”   
He chuckled, “Then we will stay here.”

And that was that. He kissed me then, a sweet, lovingly gentle kiss. Which got interrupted by excited barks, as Fen and Lady barreled up the stairs to the room. Cullen grabbed a blanket and covered himself before Dorian followed the dogs into the room.    
“Sorry for the interruption, but they were literally riling up the horses out in the stable, and Dennet was mildly put out. I think they missed you, Auri,” he said, with a wry smile. The dogs in question, they were no longer small dogs. They were full grown, muscular and fierce Mabari. War dogs. And they were now taking over the entire bed, licking and head boop’ing Cullen. Then Fen turned his attention to me, his nose going into my ear and his excited whines making my heart melt a little.

“I’ve missed you two! Did you enjoy your training with Master Bull, today?” I asked them, like they were the important members of the Inquisition I felt them to be. Dorian laughed, and filled us in on their antics over the last few days. Bull had been taking them out into the surrounding forest to train them, running, searching/finding, fetching important things of note, and how Fen was really adept at silently stalking his quarry while Lady was quite proficient at finding anything. I gave them both some head scratches, and Fen promptly squeezed himself between Cullen and I, flopping onto his back for belly rubs.    
“Really, Fen? There? That’s my woman you know,” Cullen said with a chuckle. Lady wasn’t one to be left out, and she poured herself into Cullen’s lap. I laughed then, the sight we must have made. Two grinning dog faces, upside down and so happy they were practically shaking with it. 

“Well, I am going to leave those beautiful beasts with you, and go find my own beast. I need a back rub. Or something,” Dorian said with a wink and a wave before leaving us with the dogs. The dogs who decided it was time to explore, smell the new smells, and such. They lumbered off the bed and wandered around the room. I took the opportunity to get out their favorite blankets and situate them on the floor in between the fireplace and the end of the bed, while Cullen made sure the grate in front of the fire was secured to the wall, so as not to let sleeping dogs roll into the fire. I yawned, and climbed into the bed. Watched Cullen bank the fire, put out the couple candles I had completely forgotten about. He retrieved my nightgown from the floor and winked at me as he took it to the closet and hung it on a hook behind the door. After giving the dogs their orders to lay on the floor, and their happy compliance, he climbed into the bed with me. After settling onto his back, I curled up against his side, my left leg over his right, settling between his legs. My head on his shoulder, and my hand over his heart. Steady and reassuring. I yawned again.    
“Aurelia?” he said quietly.    
“Mmm?” 

“Sleep sweet,” he whispered, kissed my head and heaved a sigh. 

I nodded, barely, “And you, you too,” I replied as I felt myself falling asleep.

 

The next morning, I woke up alone on the bed, uncovered, with a dog licking my elbow.

“Fen,” I growled, my face buried against my pillow. He whined. Lick.. lick. I tried to push his face away, but he just nibbled at my fingers and licked my arm while ignoring me. I rolled over and he jumped onto the bed with me, laying his head on my chest, his eyes big and dark. 

“Fen. What?” He gave a low whine. Then when I petted him for a moment, he jumped off the bed and went to the desk. Where a tray of coffee, muffins and bacon were steamy and waiting for me. I grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around myself, and grudgingly made my way to the desk. Fen pushed the chair out for me. I eyed him suspiciously. 

“You just love me for my bacon, silly pup.” 

He barked. Sat and waited, his head cocked and this really expectant look on his face. I offered him a piece of the bacon. He took it gently from my hand, laid down and proceeded to gobble the thing down. He gave a sigh and looked mournfully at me as I started to eat a muffin. I tossed 3 more pieces onto the floor, and he looked like I had given him the world. He laid there eating them while I enjoyed my perfectly sweetened coffee and muffins. When I finished, Fen ran off presumably to do dog things, and I went into the closet to get dressed. I stood in the closet, perusing my clothes. And I felt it, a shift in the air. A power shift. I quickly grabbed some pants and a long vest with a button up shirt. I put it all on and grabbed some boots, then ran out of the room, following the pull of the power. It led me into the garden, then into the long room Morrigan had stashed her Eluvian. But there was no Morrigan to be found, and the mirror was activated. Leliana, however, stood there. Looking shocked, which was a surprise as I had long come to the conclusion that Leliana was a bit beyond that.    
“Morrigan was frantic with worry about Kieran. She said he activated the mirror and went through before she could stop him. She ran in after him.”   
I felt a chill run down my spine. I told her to find Cullen and Cassandra and inform them what had happened. And that I was going to follow them but NO ONE was to follow us. And I stepped through the mirror.    
  


_ And the whole world changed. One step. That’s all it took.  _ _   
_ _ I found Morrigan calling out for Kieran, in the fade. Not the crossroads. The air was the same eerie green here as it was when we had fallen through at Adamant. I convinced her to let me help her find Kieran, and we set off, trekking through the fade. Calling out to him, me feeling that subtle pull of something deep inside me. We walked for what felt like hours, or miles, but eventually we found him.  _ _   
_ _ Morrigan seemed.. Beyond shocked. To find who was with Kieran, a woman she called Flemeth. And mother. Kieran tried to comfort his mother, but she was livid that the other woman was there.  _ _   
_ _ And the other woman? She was.. Majestically fabulous. Dark red leather, studs, her white hair fashioned into the shape of horns. She was.. Frightful and beautiful. And somehow the pull of the power was coming from her.  _ _   
_ _ Morrigan tried to attack her mother, when Flemeth told me to stop her. And damned if I did it. Without even meaning to.  _ _   
_ _ Like my body was a puppet on strings. I moved and intercepted Morrigan, and she yelled at me too.  _ _   
_ _ But Flemeth just laughed.  _ _   
_ __ And.. the realization hit me. Like a ton of bricks. 

_ “You… you’re Mythal.”  _

_ The accusation was said far less accusingly and a little reverently. The Voices rushed to give their agreement, almost hurting me with their need to please their mistress. _ _   
_ _ The next few minutes were a blur. Morrigan in shock that her mother was the host to an ancient Elven Goddess, Kieran expressing a wish to be free from his heavy burden. Flemeth explaining that she had never had any intention of ‘possessing’ Morrigan’s body, and that the host must always be willing. And she offered a boon. To Morrigan and the boy, to take his burden and never bother Morrigan again.  _

_ And she did.. As she said she would. She pulled the soul of the Old God from Kieran’s body, and he.. Seemed happier. Freer. He ran to his mother and they comforted each other.  _ _   
_ _ She then told me of a grove where there was an altar to Mythal. I was to summon a dragon that lives there.. And fight it until it submitted to me. Then.. Then I would have the power to fight Corypheus.  _

_ Then.. she left us. And that pull of power I felt, it gradually lessened. The Voices quieted. I heaved a sigh and followed Morrigan and Kieran out of the fade, back through the eluvian and into … _

Skyhold.    
  


**After explaining things to the Advisors and Cassandra, Aurelia set out to this mysterious grove, to summon a dragon. She ordered Cullen and Cassandra to say behind, in the event that Corypheus showed up before they returned. Resigned, Cullen showed them off at the gate, and spent every quiet moment praying to the Maker.. And even to Mythal.**

**Aurelia left, with The Iron Bull, Dorian and Solas. They got to the grove and found it.. Beyond peaceful. Beautifully green, lush and wild. The Altar there was mostly overgrown but Aurelia could sense the subtle power that lingered there. Solas could as well, they exchanged knowing glances. And the voices explained the draw of the dragon, how the dragon had served Mythal for millennia. How once her and her companions had subdued the dragon, she would be able to summon it only once. But that when the time came, it would help her against the corrupted dragon Corypheus wields.**

**And so they did. She called down the dragon, and after a long, fiery fight, they managed to subdue the dragon. She, in her majestic way, bowed to Aurelia, who stood panting and bleeding on the field. Elation and a weird sort of wonder filled her at the sight. Then the dragon took off, back into the sky. Bull, well the ridiculous man had tears in his eyes. Dorian was making shushing noises and Solas looked as shocked as Aurelia felt. They made their way back to the keep and informed those waiting of their success.**

 

**Cullen -**   
  
We sat in the hall, enjoying a meal after the success of the Inquisitor and her companions. I watched her, as she chatted with everyone, laughing and enjoying herself. She seemed.. Lighter. Somehow. After the talk with Flemeth.. Or Mythal. Whoever it was. And then the fight with the dragon. She seemed more sure. And she had this new fire in her eyes, if one could call it that when a woman has teal and gray eyes. And every few minutes she would look at me and smile this bright beautiful smile, like she knew where my thoughts were. Which, as always when times were quiet, were with her. Fen and Lady were laying at her feet, quiet and docile after their antics of the day. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. As the evening wore on, everyone started to disperse to their respective rooms.    
I just waited them all out.    
I watched, watched them laugh and tell stories and share hopes for the forever looming “after”. Some people were excited to see what the world would be like without the reign of terror hanging over our heads. I watched them play games, tell jokes, make plans, flirt and laugh some more. More and more of them left the main hall, and soon Aurelia, Dorian, Bull and I were the last left in there. I cleared my throat and Dorian, bless the man, got the hint. He grabbed for Bull’s hand, and after bidding many goodnights, he dragged Bull from the hall. Aurelia sighed and after a last look into the fire, she joined me on the bench I had appropriated. She sat next to me, took my hand and laid her head on my shoulder.    
“Today was so odd, Cullen. And I am beyond glad it’s done. Can we go to bed?” she asked me, looking up at me, that fire still there in her eyes. I nodded, gave her a quick kiss and got up to leave the hall. The dogs followed us up the stairs into the bedroom, settling onto the floor with little noise. We quietly went about getting ready for bed. I was naked and had just climbed into the bed when she emerged from the closet, wearing this.. See through teal and silver nightgown. Straps criss-crossing across her chest and shoulders, the teal silk just practically dropped from her body. It barely covered the tops of her thighs.

“Maker’s Breath woman. Are you actively trying to kill me?” I asked her, as all the blood in my body rushed to my groin. She gave a low chuckle and climbed onto the bed. She knelt next to me and took my hand.

“I need to ask you for something,” she said quietly. 

“Anything,” I replied. She just shook her head.

“I have a feeling we'll be seeing Corypheus very soon. And I don't know what's going to happen when we do.” 

I sighed.

She continued, “If anything happens, keep Lady and Fen together. And give Dorian my magic books. But you, you keep the journals. You should read them, whether or not anything happens.”

“Don't talk like this,” I started to say, but her other hand came up and covered my mouth. Her fingers were surprisingly cold. 

“No. I need to say this. If anything happens, go home to your family. You'll need them. And they'll need you. And make sure.. Make sure everyone is taken care of. Especially Cole. He's still learning how to be human.” She paused to sigh.

“I don't believe anything will happen. I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I have a really strong positive feeling about whatever will happen. The Voices are as well. Which bodes well. And.. I feel strong. Very strong. Oddly enough. After the assassination attempt, and then drinking the Well, helping you. My power feels far more stable, even if the anchor isn't always stable.” My right hand rubbed over my face. 

“Aurelia. Now it's my turn to talk. I'm not going to take care of anyone, just to give you the biggest reason to fight even harder than your hardest. And you're coming home when it’s over. To me. And Fen and Lady. And Cole and Dorian. Because you're  _ our _ family. You brought us all together, kept us here. Your love and loyalty and humor. And how you embraced us all, differences and everything. You made this all possible. Now, enough of this silliness. Come closer so I can see how soft that thing is that you’re wearing,” I said with an eyebrow wiggle. She laughed, and the somber moment was gone. She moved to straddle my legs, sitting there in front of me. 

I raised my right hand, ran my finger down the stomach of the nightgown. Raised an eyebrow, “How do they make these things so soft?” I said, my voice low. She shrugged.    
“How would I know? I know magic, not the making of fabrics. However, it does  _ feel _ magnificent. All soft and flowy. It kind of whispers against my skin.” I swallowed at the thought of that. I put my hands at her waist, my hands gliding against the fabric. She gave a sigh. I pulled her farther up my legs, until she was straddling my upper thighs. “There you are,” I whispered. She gave me a smile.    
I raised my hands, each moving to cup a breast through the nightgown. My thumbs roved across her nipples, making them harden through the fabric. She sighed softly. I slid my hands behind her, drawing her to my chest, and kissed her. She spread her hands on my neck, her tongue dancing with mine, hot and sweet. Until she cried out, and a flash of green light spread across the room. She pulled away from me and gripped her left wrist, the mark flashing wildly, her face a mask of disbelieving pain.    
  


**Aurelia -**

  
It felt like lightning spreading through my arm, this quick sting and flash of pain spreading like heat under my skin. I gripped my arm and tried to manage the pain but it was nearly overwhelming. 

“Corypheus,” I managed to say through gritted teeth. “I need.. I need clothes,” I said. He nodded, sprung from the bed and grabbed me some black pants, a black buckle sleeveless shirt and a long vest. I managed to strip out of the nightgown and, while shaking hard and gasping for breath, he helped me get dressed. I asked for my boots and then motioned for him to get dressed, and managed to pull on my boots with my right hand, and nervously combed my fingers through my hair.    
“I’m sorry, Cullen,” I whispered, a tear escaping my eye as I waited for him. He knelt in front of me, still in only his pants and boots. Took my right hand and pressed a kiss to my palm. “Nothing to be sorry for, we’ll be fine. You’ll see. I love you. And I believe in you,” he said, with a smile that actually reached his eyes. I pulled his face to mine for a hard quick kiss. He lingered a moment, then pulled away, finishing putting his shirt and jacket on. He grabbed my hand and after a short whistle for the dogs, we left the room.

 

In the war room, we determined that Corypheus had reopened the breech at the Temple. 

 

“Inquisitor,” Cullen cleared his throat. “We have minimal forces here still, most of our people are still in the Wilds. I have no one to send with you.”    
Leliana piped up, “My men are back. I can send Harding and the other scouts with you for reinforcements.”   
I just nodded, massaging my hand. Most of the pain had subsided, though the tingle and heat was still there. It still radiated up my entire arm. I sighed. “This is it. We have no choice, before he tears the world apart. I.. Maker. I love you all. You are the best family one could ever hope to be part of. I will see you at the end of this,” I said quickly. I couldn’t hardly breathe. My heart was racing and the Voices were clamoring for attention. I had no idea how I was to summon the dragon, or even when. I just felt.. This massive need for haste and no real explanation for it. “Leliana gather everyone, we head out in 15 minutes. Cullen?” I turned to leave and he followed me. Out in the hall, he pulled me into his arms, one last moment before I headed off into the unknown.    
“I love you Cullen, never ever doubt that.”    
He nodded. “I love you too. And will never ever stop. Come back in mostly one piece,” and he kissed me. His mouth hot and soft, his tongue stealing into mine as I clung to his shirt. I pulled away, looked up at him, and just smiled. “You are amazing, Cullen. I’ll be back,” I said then after one more quick hard kiss, I turned and walked away. I felt like I left my heart standing back with him. I motioned for the dogs to stay, and continued on out through the hall, and out into the night. I stood outside by the door for a minute, just trying to breathe. My chest felt tight, the Voices were still buzzing loudly in my head and my arm burned like it had been dipped in acid.    
Within minutes, the entire keep was ablaze with activity. The guards who were staying in the keep helping ready horse and supplies, Cullen and Leliana calling out orders. Within 20 minutes, we were all ready to go. I rode at the head of the group with Solas, Dorian and Bull, with a group of Leliana’s scouts right behind us, then the rest of us behind them. We rode hard, and made it to the temple within a couple of hours. We dismounted at the foot of the mountain, and set off from there.    
  
**As they approached the mountain, part of the Temple broke off from the ground, floating in the air above it. They raced to the top of the mountain and found Corypheus awaiting them at the entrance to the Temple. What was left of the Temple entrance. He was outrageously angry, and held the glowing orb in his hand. He then ripped the temple and the ground around it, raising them all into the sky.**

**Then Aurelia felt it, this wild pull of magic inside her, as the Corrupted Dragon of Corypheus landed hard and heavy on the ground in front of them. Then, as if from nowhere, the Dragon that Mythal had given them, miraculously appeared, swooping in out of the sky, hitting the other dragon, and driving it away from them. They fought with Corypheus then, but.. It seemed a useless battle as he just seemed to draw more power from the orb as they fought on. Up and up and through the broken remnant of the once beautiful Temple. They fought and battled and eventually.. Came across the now half dead Dragon again, after it finally conquered (or slew.. They were never quite sure) Mythal’s Dragon. After a long, arduous and bloody fight, Aurelia was able to deliver the final blow to the Dragon, and they felt this eruption of power when it breathed its last. They could hear Corypheus scream from further inside the Temple ruins. Aurelia took off running, following the sound of Corypheus’ rage. She found him, in what looked like it had been a room with many pillars. She made one last effort to talk him out of his insanity. And he attacked. So they fought him, spells flying, giant axe swinging. Little by little they chipped away at him.. Until he was as broken as he looked.**

**The buzzing in Aurelia’s head grew ever more persistent, as the Voices instructed her on how to call the orb from Corypheus’ grasp. She channeled the power of the mark on her hand, and** **_pulled_ ** **… making the orb hit Corypheus on the face before landing in her hand with a satisfying** **_smack_ ** **. She lifted it to the sky, green glowing light engulfing her hand, channeling the anchor once more, focusing on the new breech he had created. After a few moments, it closed, leaving a ripple of green dancing across the night sky. She dropped the then quiet orb.**

**She approached Corypheus who sat stunned on the ground. Snark dripping from her words, she offered him a door into the fade… Before opening a rift on top of him.. Effectively shredding him from existence. The pain radiated up her arm, nerves on fire. As she closed the rift she had opened, Corypheus just.. Ceased to be.** **  
** **And then the sky fell. Or rather all of the pieces of land and Temple that Corypheus had raised into the sky.**

 

**Aurelia -**

 

I got up off of the ground, dusted myself off. That.. that was brutal. Corypheus was far more powerful than we had ever imagined. And yet here we stand. Well most of us. I looked around, spotted Bull helping Dorian to his feet, and them embracing, reluctant delight etched on their faces. I looked more, and found Solas, sorrow darkening his features. I walked to him, as he knelt to the ground and picked up the broken pieces of the Orb. He looked.. So sad.    
“Solas?” I said quietly.    
“The orb,” was all he said.    
“I’m sorry, Solas.. Is there any way to repair it?” I offered hopefully, but I already knew the answer. The Voices did as well.    
“We both know that would not recover what was lost, Inquisitor,” he answered sadly. I was about to speak again, when I heard Cassandra yelling from further into the temple. I turned around, went to find her.    
And all the others with her. They had all come, and survived.    
Sera and Varric, Cole and Vivienne, Blackwall, Bull and Dorian, Cassandra and Morrigan.. And, more of the scouts than I had thought to hope made it. Scout Harding was there with the rest, a look of.. Awe on her freckled face. I was beyond glad to see them all whole and healthy. Fighting back tears, I looked over them all. Morrigan spoke first, “Victorious, I see. What a novel result,” her tone wry. “And it seems the Breach is finally closed,” she continued, as we all looked up to see the green swirling lights in the sky.    
“Looks that way,” I quietly agreed, my hand still throbbing. I could feel someone behind me, figuring it was Solas coming to join us. 

“What do we do now?” Cassandra asked, looking as happily confused as the rest of us surely felt. 

I looked around my group of friends. One by one, gave them all a smile. Felt.. Felt Solas leave. I looked behind me, shrugged it off.    
“We go back to Skyhold.” I walked down to them, touching each one, immeasurably glad they were alive.    
  
And so we did. We made our way home, in the dark and the quiet of the night. Low conversations, voices echoing through the mountains as we marched home. Hours later, as we walked across the drawbridge, we could hear our people shouting and cheering. The energy in the air was incredible. As we walked through the gate, I could see Cullen standing at the top of the stairs with Leliana and Josephine. Our people lined the walkway through the courtyard, cheering and yelling at us. It felt so.. Surreal. We waved and walked through, and I made my way up the stairs first. At the top of the steps I rushed to Cullen, his arms an instant cage around me. Pressing my face against his shoulder, I tried not to cry.    
What a night. 

Reluctantly he let me go, with a soft kiss. He stepped back, and in one fell swoop, raised my hand and presented me to my people. I stood there, this awe striking me mute. Cullen, Leliana and Josephine all bowed to me. It was.. Unexpected.    
A hero? Mage. Wrong place at the wrong time. Incredible turns of luck, more than anything. I felt a shiver run through me as the people roared their acceptance of me. Us. What we had accomplished. But.. through it all, even I felt the absence of Solas. After the crowd quieted some, we all made our way into the hall. Leliana pulled me aside, into the rotunda.    
“My agents have found no trace of Solas. He has simply vanished. If he does not wish to be found, there’s likely nothing we can do. But I will keep looking,” She assured me. I sighed.    
“It’s just so odd that he would leave without a word.”   
“You said he was upset about the orb.”   
I shook my head, “That can’t be the only reason. I just wish I knew why..” 

I sighed again, and walked back into the main hall. She spoke again, “Now that Corypheus has been defeated, we have a moment to stop and celebrate. Afterwards, you will be busy, every noble in southern Thedas is clamoring to meet you.” She chuckled. 

I raised an eyebrow. “The fighting’s over, why would they want to meet me now?”   
She laughed, “You’re joking, yes?” I shook my head.

“They wish to bask in the glory of your victory, hoping that some of it will rub off on them. Everyone knows Empress Celene owes you her life. And her throne!” She started to pace.    
“A thousand problems remain, and your opinion will be sought for each one. Whether you wish to give it, or not.”   
I sighed, then gave in to the laugh. “Oh,  _ now _ they’re lining up to meet me!”

Leliana chuckled again. “Such is the way of things. Previously, you were an upstart, nothing more than a leader of rebels and heretics. Until Corypheus revealed himself, they could not see the single hand behind the chaos. Once he did, they knew: A magister and a darkspawn in one creature. The ultimate evil.” She sighed. “Now,  _ you _ are the only power left standing.” We turned and looked at the crowd of very happy people feasting in the hall. “Enjoy the evening while you can,” she smiled and walked away. 

I stood there a moment longer. They were all here, minus Solas. Eating. Laughing. Reveling in their hard earned victory. The dogs ran up, tackling me in the walkway. I let them get their fill of love before they abandoned me for food. Getting up, I walked around the room, talking to everyone I could. Congratulations tossed about, and everyone offering to stay and help me.. Help the Inquisition finish fixing the mess Corypheus made. Their unwavering support was almost more than I could stand.    
Cassandra and I discussed her leaving soon to become the Divine. Which was as surprising as her acceptance of it, even if it was reluctant acceptance at that. Leliana and Josephine were staying as well. I stood by the throne, looking out at everyone. They were .. Happy. Relieved. On their merry way to drunk. I pressed a hand to my chest. 

It was.. Done.

But was it ever  _ truly _ done? Yes, Corypheus is dead. Yes, the breach is sealed. But there were still rifts, and red Templars and Venatori to deal with. And.. Finding Solas. I sighed. Things were never, really, over 

Cullen saw me standing there and made his way through the crowded room, ignoring any who tried to stop him. “Are you alright?” he asked me quietly when he reached me, his hand cupping my face. I nodded and gave him a smile. 

“Oh I'm fine, how are  _ you _ Commander?” I teased.

“I think I aged 10 years before we got word that you had defeated Corypheus. I've never been more grateful than I was when that scout told us you all .. That you were fine.” He shook his head. I grabbed his vest and after a perfunctory wave to Vivienne I pulled Cullen through the door to my rooms, locking the door behind me. 

When we reached the top of the stairs, I pulled him to my bed, sat him down. Knelt in front of him.

“Cullen.”

He smiled. “Aurelia.”

My turn to smile. He brushed my hair from my face. 

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For trusting me. Having faith in me. Loving me.” 

He shook his head, “No. Thank  _ you _ for.. Being everything and more than I ever deserved but staying despite all that.”

I chuckled. 

And somehow we both managed to say “You're welcome,” at the same moment. I reached up and pushed his jacket from his shoulders, and he unbuckled my vest. He pulled me to my feet and followed suit. Then he slowly and systematically undressed us both. When he finished he pulled me into his arms again and held me close for a minute. He eventually pulled away, crawling onto the bed. I followed suit, laying down next to him. He laid there a moment, staring at me.    
I reached out, pulled him close, his body against mine, and kissed him. This slow melding of lips and more, my hands keeping his face close, and his pulling my body tighter against him. My tongue darted into his mouth, savoring the taste of him. He gave a low moan when I ran my foot down the back of his calf. He rolled me onto my back, his body covering mine. He kept his mouth on mine, deepening the kiss, his tongue delving into my mouth, tangling with mine. His hands gripped my butt, his pelvis pressed against me. I shifted my leg, tangling it with his, my hands wrapping around his back. He rubbed his cock against me, him already hard, and me already wet with need. I moaned into his mouth, shifting my hips to rub against him some more, the delicious friction making me want so much more. He pulled my other leg up to wrap around him, and lifting his head, he looked down at me, watching me as he slid his cock into me.    
I gave this low groan as he filled me. Hot, soft.. So hard. And all mine. My eyes closed and I let myself drift on the feel of his loving me. “Ah, Maker. Your face when I do that, never ceases to fascinate me,” he whispered, before pressing his mouth to my neck. Then he started moving. Slowly. Tantalizingly. This long withdrawal.. And a slow thrust bringing himself deep again. Over.. and over. I clung to him, my only real anchor any more, as he drove me further and further towards that brink.    
“I have an idea,” he said out of nowhere, before locking his arms around me and rolling us to that he was on the bed.. And I straddled him. “Sit up,” he said. And so I did. And somehow, he slid deeper inside me. “Now.. you move,” he said. He put his hands on my hips and shifted me, rubbing me against his pelvis, moving deep inside me. I shifted my hips, gliding myself against his pelvis. And we settled into a rhythm, his hands guiding my hips, the tension building again for both of us. My hands on his stomach, I kept moving, whimpering. After a few minutes, he sat up beneath me, pulling me against his chest, his mouth finding mine. I gripped his shoulders as we still moved against each other. I started to shake, so close.. I moaned again, trembling in his arms. He pulled his mouth away, pressing his face against my neck. And finally.. Finally.. I came. I cried out, my fingers digging into his shoulders, muscles clenching and throbbing, my entire body shuddering. He followed soon after.. Growling his own release, throbbing and hot inside me. Gasping for air, I sagged against him, my body still twitching and clutching at him. He sighed, kissed my forehead. “I love you,” I said when I could speak again.    
“And I love you,” he answered. 

 

A while later, after we had cleaned up and rested a bit, I noticed the sun was coming up. I poked Cullen, waking him back up. I then stole the sheet from the bed, wrapped it around myself and went out onto my side balcony, to watch the sun. He groaned at me but after a minute, his arms wrapped around my stomach and his face appeared next to mine.    
“Why did you wake me?” he asked, his voice raspy. I grinned up at him.

“This is our first sunrise. First sunrise where I didn’t gaze at it with fear of not seeing another. First sunrise that I see full of promise, and hope. It’s.. It’s truly magnificent, Cullen.”   
And it was. In the sky to our left was that swirl of green left by the closing of the Breach, and the sky in front of us was a riot of reds, purples, oranges and pinks as the sun started to rise above the horizon.    
“Look at that,” I whispered, warmth spreading through my chest. “Whatever happens next, this.. This is something I will always treasure. You, here with me, gazing at a sunrise with nothing less than hope.” He sighed in my ear.    
“You are surprisingly amazing. A sunrise making you this happy. Never change,” he said quietly. And I looked up at him again, and he smiled at me. Then kissed me gently, a hopeful kiss that promised a lot of tomorrows. 

And all was right in the world, for a moment at least. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Aurelia's main story. (Of what's covered in the game at least)   
> However.. There are 2 years of adventures to fill, so the next part of her story will cover those 2 years and then some.   
> Aurelia and Cullen have a lot of living to do yet!   
> So don't go anywhere!  
> Lastly - I want to thank miss Kristy and Brittany. They have been pretty rock solid cheer leaders in my quest to write all this silliness. They were steadfast and loyal and always made me feel like the best writer ever (I know I'm not but their sentiments said otherwise). Love you ladies!


	12. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A much needed visit to family, surprises and giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to cover the 24ish months between the end of the main game and Trespasser. It'll be a month or two at a time.  
> Enjoy!

**Aurelia - Day 10 Post Corypheus -**

 

I stood on the balcony and caught myself chewing my lip again. Cullen was down in the training yard with Cassandra and The Bull. Giving them his instructions for while we would be gone. That thought brought a smile to my lips, the  _ we would be gone _ part. We had closed several more rifts in the last few days and order was.. Well on the way to being restored. And Cullen’s mother had written, frantic with worry. Seems his letter hadn’t gotten to them to reassure them of his wellbeing. And, so, I convinced him to go home. He refused to go without me. And so we were going to visit his family. For a few weeks. I was going to be able to set aside.. The Herald. Inquisitor. And just be Aurelia for a while. Hopefully.    
It was exciting! And daunting. Because who knew what they would think. His sister had seemed sweet enough, but it had been almost a year since we had seen her. And then, then she didn’t know about him and I. She was alright with the whole “Oh the Inquisitor is a MAGE!” But would she be alright if the woman Cullen was in love with.. Was a mage? And the Inquisitor? And the Herald of Andraste? And close friends with the new divine? And sporting a Tevinter mage as a best friend? I shook my head. Worries. Always more worries. I heard steps on the stairs in my room, and when I turned to look there stood Dorian. 

“Ah here you are. Are you all packed?” he asked me with a grin. I nodded. No grin for me though.    
“Oh. Are you still worried?” 

I nodded again.    
“Honestly, there’s not a lot about you to dislike. Even your scar is charming. If I can come to love you, I’m sure they will in no time.” 

I laughed. “My scar? Really, Dorian?” 

He nodded, trying to be all serious like. “Beyond all that, if they don’t like you, you have an entire Inquisition to hide behind. Including Bull and I. But I wouldn’t worry too much.” I sighed. He came over to me and hugged me.    
“I’m going to miss you. I’ll make sure to keep the hold together while you are gone. Can I use your..” and I interrupted him.

“No! You are not using my bed while I’m gone Dorian! You and Bull would BREAK it! And I like my things not lit on fire! Thank you!” 

He stood there laughing. “Ah, he told me you would say that. I figured I would try. Alright then. I will make sure no one messes with the High and Mighty Inquisitors and her Luscious Commander’s rooms.”    
I snorted. Luscious. That was a new one. I was going to have to use that later. 

“Who are you talking to up here?” came Cullen’s voice from the stairs. Soon after the dogs came racing into the room, just ahead of him. He was dressed simply today, leather pants, boots, a simple linen shirt and his jacket. No breastplate, no furry goodness.    
“Your lusc--” and Dorian’s voice cut out when I elbowed him. “Commander! I was just bidding a private farewell to my darling Auri. I will miss you both. But not the slobber that accompanies you.” He gave Lady a look, as she stood next to him drooling onto the floor in her excitement. I giggled. Cullen just rolled his eyes, and came over to give me a kiss hello. I closed my eyes and savored the feel. “Well hello there,” he said, his voice husky. Dorian cleared his throat and said “I’ll see you when you leave in the morning,” and left as quickly as he showed up. I pulled Cullen close, and his arms closed around me. He kissed me again. “Are you ready?” he asked me.    
“Why does everyone keep asking me that? I have been packed and ready for 2 days. The dogs are going to have such fun, Cullen,” I said, masking my worry.    
“Ah, but we ask because we know you, love. You are a worrier. You get this little furrow in your brow when you get to seriously worrying. And it hasn’t left since I asked you to go with me. Are you truly alright?” 

I nodded. “I am allowed a little worry after the last year and a half Cullen. But I am ready. To jump into whatever adventure awaits us next. You and me. And a pair of giant dogs. Are  _ you _ ready?”

He nodded this time. “It’s a bit odd. But I think this is a good thing. A good time, when things are still mostly settled. And less daunting with you going with me.” I smiled then.    
“Do I have.. I don’t have to wear a dress, do I?” I asked. I think the look on my face must have been comical because he started laughing. And I couldn’t blame him, pretty sure my expression was something akin to horror. I like my pants. And leather. And layers.    
“You don’t have to wear anything you don’t want to. Although, you wearing my clothes might seem odd,” he said with a grin as he pulled the shoulder of the shirt I was wearing back up. His shirt. I shrugged and it slid off my shoulder again. He narrowed his eyes at me and I just smiled innocently.    
Fen spoke up from the top of the stairs, a rough short bark. Cullen kissed my nose, and with a roll of his eyes, he followed Fen, and Lady followed them both. I sat on the bed and took a breath. Maker, this was going to be interesting. So very interesting. 

 

**The Next Morning -**

 

We had woken up early, and eaten breakfast in the hall with Varric, Dorian and Bull. Everyone else was still sleeping, as it was still barely sunrise. Cass came in as we were finishing and took Cullen off for a last minute chat. Dorian gave me a pack of medical stuff. “This is some extra powerful healing salves, some regular ones, and a few other odds and ends. Plus some of that antidote we made back when .. back when you got poisoned. Keep these close. For me. Please?” he asked me. I nodded. “Why do you think we’ll need all this?” I asked, genuinely curious.   
“I don’t, but being over prepared is never a bad thing to be. We have found that out the hard way many times. Now, how often shall I write to you to tell you how things are falling apart here without your obvious leadership skills to keep us afloat?” 

I laughed. “Three weeks Dorian. That’s all. Not forever. Quit being so dramatic.”   
“Oh, you know that’s not happening. Dramatic is my middle name. Just before Amazing and right after Fabulous. I have a long name, and it’s infinitely better than poor Cassandra’s.” I laughed again. Maker, I’d miss him. All of them. 

“You can write to me as often as you wish, and I will try to answer but since post takes forever, who knows. Just be good while I’m gone. Please?”    
He sighed dramatically and nodded forlornly. Then he winked and hugged me again. Bull stood up and gave me a bone crushing hug too. “Come back in one piece, Boss. Or I will never hear the end of it from that one,” he said, gesturing with his horns to Dorian, who just inspected his nails like nothing was going on. I just laughed at them both and walked outside with Varric.    
“They’ll be fine. You wait and see. Besides, I’ll be here, really holding the fort together. And the Seeker,” he said with a smiley sneer. I grinned. “Well, then I am indeed leaving Skyhold in capable hands.”

Varric laughed. “We’re good? Right?” I nodded.    
“Good. Take care of Cullen. And yourself. And have fun. You deserve some fun after.. After all this shit.” And with that he gave me a quick and very unexpected hug. Then he walked off to harass Cassandra. I stood there mildly shocked. Cullen walked over with the dogs close behind him. “Ready?” he asked one last time. I nodded. I adjusted my coat, made sure my left hand was gloved and pulled up my hood. He pulled me close and kissed me. “We are only taking 4 men with us. I thought the fewer the better. And the dogs like them, so there’s that.”   
Dennet walked up behind us, with 7 horses. The 7th horse was laden with our gear, tents and such for if we needed to sleep outside of a town. I thanked him and wished him luck in the weeks we’d be gone and he just said “I’m going home to my wife for a while until you get back. She misses me and I figured I should grace her with my presence.”   
I laughed and wished him a grand time. Cullen held my mount for me as I climbed up. He followed suit and so did the four men going with us. 2 former Templars, a mage and one of the men recruited in Redcliffe. We were all dressed as civilians today, to attract less attention. Cullen whistled and the dogs took off out the gate. We followed, two of the men in the lead, then Cullen and I, then the other two with the pack horse between them.

We rode for several hours, the dogs keeping pace with the horses easily. I eventually grew too warm for my coat and removed it, draping it across the back of my saddle. When we stopped for a midday meal, I walked around trying to stretch my back and thighs. It had been months since we had ridden this much. We had stopped next to a stream, and while Cullen was busy with the dogs, I went and sat on a rock next to the stream. I dipped my neck scarf into the water and almost cried with joy when I dripped water down my chest and neck. I wrung it out and wrapped it around my neck. I rebraided my hair, securing it to my head. When I looked back towards the horses, Cullen was standing behind me, his shoulder against a tree, watching me intently. I raised an eyebrow, then went back to using the water to cool off. I heard him walk up behind me, “You've no idea do you?” he asked me quietly when he squatted down next to me. I just shook my head, “Idea about what?”

“Nope. I'm not going to tell you.” He leaned over and kissed my forehead, before standing. “You hungry?” 

“I am, actually. What do we have?” 

He held out his hand, and he helped me stand. He pulled me into his arms, kissed me softly. I smiled up at him, “What's going on?” I asked. He shook his head and kissed my head again. Let me go and want to the pack horse. Handed me a folded napkin, with a crusty bread roll, some cheese wrapped in paper and some jerky. He spread out a wool blanket and we sat to eat. The other men sat around us, chatting and entertaining the dogs. It was.. Nice. Not being the Inquisitor. I sat eating quietly while the men all talked and joked. When I reached the bottom of the napkin, there sat a little paper package. I opened it up to find a little piece of chocolate. I broke it in half, and after getting Cullen's attention, I popped it into his mouth. He grinned at me, and chewed it. I ate my own and almost died. Mint chocolate. When the other men went about getting ready to leave again, Cullen helped me to my feet and kissed me thoroughly. “What was that for?” I asked when he finally pulled away. 

“Because I can. Because it's a beautiful day. Because I love you. Are any of those reason enough?” he answered, his voice soft. I smiled up at him.

“I suppose they all are.” He kissed my forehead again and moved away to finish readying our horses. We mounted again and got back on the road. A little slower pace, and we rode until we reached Lake Calenhad’s shore. When we reached Redcliffe village, one of the men went off to secure us 3 rooms for the night. When we got into the inn, the innkeeper greeted us as the Rutherford’s. I grinned at Cullen. Didn't sound so bad. 

She showed him and I to our room, and the other men to theirs, on either side of ours. The dogs stayed with us, curling up by the fire. I helped Cullen undress, then he reciprocated. He pulled down the blanket on the bed and let me climb in first. When he crawled in beside me I curled up against his side and pressed my face into his neck. 

“Hmm I was thinking about tonight a lot today,” he said quietly. I smiled against his skin. Kissed his neck. “What about tonight?” 

He rolled me onto my back and settled himself on top of me. “You, dripping water all over the place. Unbuttoning your shirt, breathing all heavy since you were hot. All I wanted to do was drag you off that horse and have you against the nearest tree.”

My eyes got all wide. “Why, Cullen, that’s not chivalrous at all,” sarcasm dripping from my very sweet tone.    
“Fuck chivalry, you drove me wild today,” and his mouth crushed mine. Pent up need and passion pouring forth. My hands gripped his face, and his traveled down my body, between us, between my legs. I moaned when he touched me, his fingers hot and greedy, my hips meeting their demands. One finger.. Then two.. Slipped inside me, and his thumb found my clit, and it didn’t take much encouragement from there. Our lovemaking was hurried. Fueled by the long day, close quarters and this.. Enjoyment of not having the fate of the world hanging over our heads. 

He pulled his mouth from mine and buried his face against my neck, his teeth and tongue marking me as much as his hand was. His fingers left me, soon after being replaced by his cock. I moaned as he slowly filled me, wrapped my left leg around his hip. He held us still for a moment. “I’ve waited all day to do this,” he whispered hoarsely. I pressed my mouth to his ear. “Love me, Cullen.”

That’s all I whispered. All the prodding he needed. His left hand gripped my hip as he started to thrust, slowly filling me again and again. His other hand found me again, rubbing tiny little persistent circles on and around my clit, pulling little gasping noises from me. My hands gripped his arms, and with my eyes closed, I let him carry us onward. I could feel myself nearing my peak, when he slowed his thrusts, slowed his hand, lifted his head and looked down at me.    
Eyes the color of dark honey, deep and full of all that love he professed daily, stared at my face. I tried to smile, but his hand was far too busy keeping my mind fully occupied. Then his movements slowed even more, this melodic ebb and flow of fingers, and his cock.. In.. and out.. I writhed beneath him, my voice breathy as I whispered his name again and again. My back arched as I finally crested, my voice low but harsh. Muscles tensing, clenching, throbbing and trembling. He drowned the sounds of his own in my shoulder, his own arms shaking as he came deep inside me. He finally collapsed on top of me, and I laid there rubbing his back as we both settled. 

“I'm sorry that was so..” he started to say but I put my hand over his mouth. 

“Never apologize for loving me. Whether it's quick or slow, being loved by you.. Is never a bad thing. Besides, after we stopped for the mid day meal I,” and I coughed, “I may have noticed you watching me.” 

He raised his eyebrows. “You're a sly one, aren't you Inquisitor?” he said with a grin. I could barely nod. I was blushing again, could feel it burning a path up my body. He kissed me, light and sweet. He rolled off of me and moved to his pack to find a cloth, and after we had cleaned up, he climbed back into bed beside me. Him on the side of the bed closest to the door. The dogs were still dead asleep on the floor. Cullen pulled me close, and tangled together we fell asleep there, in an inn surrounded by people who, gloriously, had no idea the Inquisitor was in their midst. 

  
  


The next morning, I awoke in the bed without Cullen, but with a sleepy Fen who had taken his place. I reached out and scratched his belly, and he tried to lick my arm but was too busy enjoying the attention to put much effort into it. “You take up more of the bed than Cullen does, you silly boy,” I said to him. He just sniffed at me like he already knew this information. I tried to stretch but Fen decided he wasn't done with me, and laid his head on my chest. Then he proceeded to give me the saddest look ever. His “Feed me before I die of starvation” dramatic look. I snorted and pushed him off. Starve. Pssh. A moment later, the door to the room opened and Lady came pushing inside, followed by Cullen bearing a tray of food and coffee from the smell of things. 

“Ah, good you're up. I bring you presents.” He set the tray on the little table and came over to the bed. He leaned over Fen and kissed me. “Good morning, Mrs. Rutherford,” he said with a smile. I smiled back. “Good morning, Mr. Rutherford.” 

“You know, I like the sound of that,” he said before shooing Fen off the bed. I sat up, holding the sheet close. I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him close. I kissed him again, a proper hello. His hand slipped around my neck and he deepened the kiss. And then he reluctantly pulled away. “We need to eat so we can get on the road. Stop trying to tempt me into otherwise.” 

I sighed. He was right. But I didn't care. I grabbed his hand as he got up and tried to leave. I pulled him slowly back to the bed, and even as he was shaking his head at me, I let the sheet fall and he actually had to swallow and remove himself from my hand. 

“You play dirty, Aurelia,” he said softly. He walked to the table and sat down, just watching me. I gave a pout and he rolled his eyes. I finally climbed from the bed, wrapped the sheet around me again and went to the table, taking the other chair. I tucked the sheet into itself and proceeded to eat. Sipped the coffee. Pretended Cullen wasn't watching me with very intense concentration. 

“Maker, it's going it be a long day,” he muttered. I just gave him a sunny grin. When I finished eating, I went and got dressed, slowly and methodically. A very long day indeed. I felt his eyes on me the entire time. It was.. Heady. The feeling of power without actually using it. When I sat on the bed to fasten my boots, he got up and came to sit by me. 

“You're trying to kill me aren't you?” he said in a strangled voice. 

“What do you mean?” I asked sweetly. I sat up, and looked at him like I had no clue what he was referring to. He heaved a sigh and laid back on the bed. I climbed onto him, straddling his hips. I leaned down and kissed him. Really kissed him, pouring all the want and love into it that I possibly could. I could feel him hard between us. My hand reached down, and gripped him through his pants. He made a sound, and his hips thrust him further into my hand. I pulled my mouth away just far enough to ask, “Are you sure we have to go right now?” He shook his head, then nodded. Then muttered, “Too late now,” before grabbing my face and pulling it back to his. We were definitely going to be late. 

  
  


An hour later we finally emerged from our room, me with a grin on my face and him looking.. Very satisfied. The Innkeeper's wife chuckled at us, wishing us a safe journey. As I was walking out the door, she stopped me and pressed a cloth wrapped bundle into my hands. “Thank you, Your Worship,” she said softly. My eyebrows shot up. 

“How..?” I started to ask. She smiled at me. 

“You saved my son. He spoke very highly of you, and I saw you from time to time in the village in the months afterwards. Never had a chance to thank you. My son's wife is pregnant and giving me my first grandbaby in a few months. Thanks to you,” she said quietly. Then she hugged me, bade me happy journeys and shooed me out the door. I was stunned. And felt a tear drip down my face. Cullen came back to see what the hold up was and I just rushed into his arms. He asked me what was wrong and I just told him everything..  Everything was perfect. 

After we stopped the mid day meal, I told him what had happened. He shook his head. “She said nothing to us at all. I'm amazed.” 

“I am too. She was so kind. And grateful, I could feel it.” 

And besides food in the bundle, there was a pair of handmade gloves, black and the softest wool I'd ever seen. And there, stitched onto the back of them, was the Inquisition insignia. In silver threads. I showed them to Cullen and he smiled at me. “See? You made more of a difference than you knew,” he said. I could only nod.

We rode the rest of the day in relative silence, and made camp near the Drakon River. “We should be in South reach mid morning, but I want to be rested before we get there,” Cullen said when he helped me off my horse. I couldn't even answer, I was yawning so much. Cullen asked if I wanted the tent and I just shook my head. It wasn't often the weather cooperated enough to let me sleep under the stars. He set up our bed rolls together and after a word with the men about keeping watch, he helped me take off my boots and jacket. I crawled into the bedding and waited for him to join me. When he settled next to me, I snuggled up against his side and with a muttered, “Sleep sweet,” I fell asleep almost instantly. 

The next morning, before sunrise, when the sky was just begin to brighten, I awoke to an odd sensation. My stomach was.. Off. I crawled out of the bedroll and snapped for Fen to follow me, giving a small wave to Argin, the man sitting watch. I went to the riverbank and sipped some of the water, hoping that would settle the matter. When I went to head back to the camp, my body said, ”No”, and I promptly threw up the water. I knelt next to a tree until the spell passed, then went back to the water to rinse my mouth. Maybe I had eaten something bad? I shook my head. And when I got to my feet, the spell seemed to have passed. I want back to camp and sat next to Cullen as he slept. Just watched him. Marveled really. He was all mine. And he proved it every day, in a multitude of ways. I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying “I love you” to that face of his. 

He finally started to stir, and when he saw me already awake he pulled me down on top of him, hugging me close. “Are you alright?” he asked, his voice all husky from sleeping. “Good morning, and I'm fine,” I answered with a smile.  And I was. I felt fine now. Even the smell of the coffee on the fire was tickling my nose and making me hungry. I kissed him then got up again, putting my boots back on and slipping my jacket back on. I went to the fire and thanked Argin for making the coffee. He just waved me off. 

Within an hour we were back on the road. And the closer we got to South Reach, the quieter I got. Cullen kept trying to get me to talk but my brain wouldn't stop nagging me. What if’s bounced about in there reminding me of all those doubts I had. We pulled into the town, and I was amazed as how big it was. I had never been this far South East in Ferelden. Cullen pointed out a large estate on the far end of the town, up on a hill. His family’s. 

I swallowed and followed him as he took the lead through town. When we reached the gates, he dismounted and helped me do the same. Put his hands on my arms and held me still. “Are you going to be alright?” he asked me for the 20th time. I nodded. “How come I don't believe you?” he teased. 

I smiled. “Doubts and worries. All in my head. I'm sure everything will be fine.” I straightened his jacket front, smoothed the hair away from his forehead. “Let's do this,” I said with a bravado I didn't really feel. He kissed my forehead, grabbed my hand and whistled for the dogs. They walked ahead of us, and the 4 men gathered the horses and followed. 

When we reached the door, this time it was Cullen who looked nervous. I nudged him with my elbow and he shook his head, then reached out and pulled the bell. Fen and Lady sat next to us, alert but otherwise silent in their vigil. When they heard someone approaching the door, Fen’s ears were the only indication. The door swung open and there stood a man, who looked remarkably like Cullen, just not.. Quite.

“Well look who got old,” the man said with a smirk, before grabbing Cullen and crushing him in a hug. Cullen laughed and hugged him back. This must be Branson. A small voice from behind them called out, “Papa who is that man?” Branson laughed and pulled away, motioning the boy forward. He looked to be maybe 4 years old. White blonde hair, pale gold eyes. 

“Stan, meet your uncle, Cullen.” 

The boy's face morphed, became the picture of excitement. “You're my uncle? The Commander?” he said, awe dripping from his tiny voice. Cullen knelt down and held out his hand. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Stan. I am indeed a Commander. What are you?” 

“Oh, I'm just a boy. Maybe I'll be a Commander someday!” and the boy rushed at Cullen and hugged him. Cullen hugged him back, wonder etched into his face. I just waited. After a minute, the boy spotted me. He whispered very loudly, “Who's the pretty lady?” and Branson blushed. “I'm sorry, my lady. He's just very..”

I laughed and offered the word, “Precocious?” He nodded and laughed. Cullen stood and brought the child to me. “This is Lady Aurelia. Can you introduce yourself like a gentleman?” Stan nodded.

“How do you do, my Lady Aurelia?” he said, very serious. I offered him a small bow. “I am very fine indeed, Sir Stan. Thank you for inquiring,” and I smiled down at him. He stared up at me. “She's very pretty papa. I want to keep her.” I laughed again. “You might have to fight your uncle for her, boy,” he said, ruffling his sons hair. He just squared his tiny shoulders, held up his arm and asked if he could escort me inside. I tucked my hand into his little arm and thanked him for the escort. Cullen and Branson just watched and laughed. I was led further into the house by the tiny human. 

We reached what I guessed was the salon, where an older woman was sitting and reading. A small voice spoke, “Grandmother? I have brought a guest!” I could feel his tiny body shaking with excitement. She marked her page in the book and set it down. “Do you now, little mister. Who have you brought me today?”

He whispered loudly, “A beautiful princess!” I tried not to laugh again. His grandmother got up and approached me. “You must be Aurelia,” she said with a smile. Stan nodded seriously. “She is to be my wife,” he declared. His grandmother laughed.

“You may call me Edith. I've heard much about you from my Rosie.” she held out her hands and grasped mine. She embraced me and it felt… amazing. She held me close for a moment. Then little Stan cleared his throat. “Grandmother, can I have my princess back?” 

“Oh! Of course, dear.” He stepped forward again and took my hand again. Then he led us both from the room back to the foyer, where Cullen stood talking with his brother. He turned When he heard us coming, and his face softened so when he saw me with his mother. He rushed over to us, and gathered her in his arms, holding her so gently. 

“Mother, you look radiant,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Ah you jest. I'm an old woman now, and I look it,” she protested with a smile. He pulled away and looked down at her. “You're still as beautiful as when I was a boy.” 

She laughed and swatted his arm. 

“And where did you learn all this charm, I wonder?” she asked him. He blushed and looked at me. She turned and winked at me. I just smiled at them. Edith looked to Branson. “Send a messenger to your sisters. They'll want to know he's here.” He nodded and went off to do as bid. 

“Shall I go fetch Mother?” Stan offered. His grandmother agreed and ran up the stairs. Cullen and I were then alone with his mother. 

She motioned me forward. “So you're the young lady that has stolen my eldest son’s heart.” It was a statement. I nodded slowly. She proceeded to hug me again. “Thank you,” she whispered in my ear. I could only nod again. She pulled away and bade us follow her. She showed us to a pair of adjoined rooms. “You are adults and I'm sure this, whatever it is, isn't new. But I'll bid you be discreet, for the sake of the servants. As for me, I sleep downstairs now so I won't know anything about anything. Now you freshen up and have a nap or whatever. It'll be a few hours before the girls get here. Enjoy the quiet while you can,” and with a wink she swept out of the room and closed the door behind her. 

I stood there with a look of what I can only assume was amused shock on my face. He started to chuckle, rubbed a hand over his face. He walked over to me and put his arms around me. I hugged him, buried my face in his shirt. 

“Thank you for coming with me,” he said quietly. I just shook my head. “I have a feeling it's going to be an interesting few weeks. And we're together. And not saving the world. It’s already fun!”

He laughed. A genuine full laugh. It looked good on him. I took my jacket off, my leather glove from my left hand, my vest and went to the wash basin. I splashed some water on my face, scrubbed my arms and wet my chest. When I stood back up, Cullen was watching me again. 

“Do you enjoy doing that?” I asked as I dried my chest and face. He nodded. I sighed. 

“I'm going to take your mother up on her offer for a nap. Come lay down with me. Please?” I asked, holding out my hand. He nodded and gave me his hand. I led him to the very high bed.  He removed his boots, then mine, and climbed into the bed with me. I laid down and he curled up against my back. He sighed into my hair. I entwined my fingers with his. Before long I fell asleep. 

When I awoke a few hours later, Cullen was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. I crawled over to him, “What's wrong?”

“Ah. Nothing much. Just a headache. They sneak up on me sometimes.”

“Is this from the..” and he shook his head.

“No. This is from the lyrium. It'll go away soon.” I pursed my lips.

“Or it could go away now?” 

He looked at me, and the strain was evident on his face. “What now?”

“Cullen, lean back.” He did so, and I guided his head onto my lap. I put a hand on either side of his head. With one hand I sent healing magic flowing through, the other, mild cold. 

“What are.. You..? Maker, where did you learn that sorcery?” his voice faded as he let me take away the pain. His eyes closed and he sighed. We sat there that way for a few minutes, and eventually he opened his eyes and grasped my wrist. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly. I nodded and kissed his forehead. He wrapped his other hand around my neck and brought my mouth to his. I gently kissed him, my fingers still on his head. I pulled away and he sat up. 

“I'm going to remember this,” he said with a smile. I just nodded. We put ourselves back together, and after I finished rebraiding my hair, he pulled me close again. 

“You still worried?” he asked. I thought on it a second, my head on his chest. 

“I don't know. We'll see how it goes.” I looked up at him, and he took the opportunity to kiss me again. Not so gently this time. My mouth opened beneath his, and our tongues tangled slowly. Heat pooled in my stomach and my hands gripped his shirt. He pressed me closer to him, and thoroughly ravaged my mouth. When he finally pulled away, I stood in his arms slightly dazed. He grinned down at me.

“That's more like it,” he said. I wrinkled my nose at him and he just poked it and whistled as he left the room. I shook my head and followed him. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Stan was sitting there. Pouting. 

“Papa wouldn't let me go near the puppies.” 

I sat next to him. “Do you mean the white and gray ones that came with me?” I asked him seriously. 

He nodded. Forlorn. 

I whispered, “Let's ask your papa if I can take you to look at the puppies..” He jumped up, grabbed my hand and pulled me along until we found his father in the study with a pretty raven haired woman, who was extremely pregnant. “Papa! Mama! The Princess says the puppies are hers and I'm to ask you if she can take me to see the puppies!” 

I smothered a laugh. His mother laughed and Branson looked almost embarrassed. “Do you mind?” he asked me.

“Oh no, I did suggest it. They are really amazing around children and they'll love his energy.” 

His mother came over, “I'm Branson’s wife, Lynd. It's an honor to meet you… er, what should I call you?” she asked nervously. I laughed. “Aurelia is just fine. It's a pleasure to meet you.”

Stan was tugging my arm, muttering “Puupppppiieesss” over and over. I shrugged and let him pull me through the house. We went out a door through the kitchen and found ourselves in a large field. A barn stood off to the right. And Lady and Fen were waiting patiently for me at the door. When I got to the door, I told Stan to stay put, and opened the door. They ran to me and excitedly shook and greeted me. I told them to sit, and they immediately complied. I told Stan to come over and he walked over to his me, his eyes huge. Fen raised a law as his hello, and Stan gently took it in his hand. Fen gave his giant doggy grin and Stan almost died from glee. Lady pressed her head to the boys side, and he hugged her gently and she gave his chin a little lick. He squealed with delight and asked me a hundred or so questions about them. From their names, to their favorite colors and their favorite meals and why is one white but not the other, are they brother and sister?

I answered each one, and sometimes twice (because what tiny human can ask a question only once?). When he had finally exhausted his repertoire of questions, we put the dogs back into the barn. He held my hand as we walked back inside, him babbling incessantly about the dogs and their amazingness. He was fun. But tiring. When we got into the kitchens, the woman who was cooking the evening meal stated, “Master Stan, yer mum was looking for ye. Best go and find her, lad,” with a smile. He grinned at me, kissed my hand rather sloppily and took off running out of the kitchen.    
“Thank you. So much,” I whispered to the kind woman.   
“Oh he’s a dear but he never ceases speaking! Just like our Cullen and Branson, he is. Neither one of them was quiet at that age either.”   
I perked up. “You knew Cullen as a boy?” I asked her, all sorts of curiosity eating at me. She nodded and kept on peeling potatoes. I offered to help if she would tell me about it. She handed me a bowl and knife.    
I peeled while she talked. Telling me stories of how Cullen and Branson would torture the girls, how Mia was the one who tried her hardest to help Cullen train to become fit to train as a Templar. How when he was only 4, he and Branson got themselves stuck in a tree and the only way they had been found was because.. They were talking loud enough to be heard half a mile off. As she was regaling me with these tales, Rosalie came into the room. 

“Inquisitor! Why are you peeling potatoes?!” she exclaimed. I laughed.

“I’m not a pampered princess Rosie. This kind woman here was telling me stories of you all as children! I offered my help as payment. And really.. Potatoes aren’t that much bother.”

She gaped at me. “But.. you’re the INQUISITOR!”

I raised an eyebrow. “Aye. And before that I was an apostate, and before that I was a mage locked in a tower. I’ve been many things. Useless isn’t one of them. Besides, at least SHE didn’t babble on about dogs and their tail’s real quest in life, to tickle armpits.”   
Rosie laughed, as I had hoped. I stood and stretched, then swayed as I grew dizzy. I grabbed onto the table to steady myself, and the cook tsk’ed at me. A glass of water was put before me, “Drink this, my lady.” And so I did.    
“Are you alright?” Rosie asked me quietly. I nodded.    
“It’s been a long few months. I’ll be fine I’m sure.”   
She looked skeptical but kept quiet. She took my arm and we made our way back into the main part of the house. She introduced me to her husband and bade me go with her to meet their sister, Mia. Mia was all dark and lovely, like their father. She hugged me and welcomed me to the family. Even though technically I wasn’t part of it yet. I sat down while they all talked, and wondered at why I had been feeling so.. Weird. When they started talking to me, I just set the thoughts aside.    
We spent the evening telling stories, well lighter stories, of what had transpired during the last few months. They asked us about a hundred questions about everything. After we had a fun evening meal, and Stan had been carted off to bed, we sat in the family room and talked some more. Cullen told his family more of what had happened in the Tower and Kirkwall. Not all. But enough. Then he told them what I had managed to do with his nightmares. Made me sound like more of a hero than I already was. He pointedly ignored my glare. I wasn’t all that comfortable discussing the “magey” aspects of myself. And he was just throwing it out there. And.. amazingly.. None of them seemed to even care. There was no revulsion. No withdrawal. Not even a hitch in the conversations. I began to swallow yawns, and was leaning against Cullen’s shoulder trying not to fall asleep. His mother noticed, however, and broke up the festivities.    
She sent everyone packing and informed Cullen and I it was far past her bedtime, and she was going to bed. Downstairs. Far away from us. I had to suppress a giggle at the thought of her condoning our.. Not so marital relations. He just blushed and ushered me up the stairs. “You get into bed, I’m going to go retrieve the dogs. I can’t leave them outside. Fen is way too smart for his own good.” He kissed me quickly and left. I smothered a few more yawns as I undressed. I put on a shirt of his I had stolen from Skyhold. I sat on the bed and lifted it to my nose, inhaling his scent. I laid down and was determined to wait for him to return. My body had other plans. I fell asleep. 

 

The next morning I woke to the sun lighting up the room. Cullen was curled up against my back and his hand was holding mine. I smiled into the pillow and burrowed closer to him. He grumbled something in his sleep. I fell back asleep.

 

A little while later, his arms closed around me. We were still on our right sides curled together.

“Cullen?” I mumbled, my eyes still closed. 

“Aurelia?” 

“Are you trying to smother me?” 

“Yes. No. How awake are you?” his voice sounded in my ear that time. I shivered. 

“Awake enough to know you're up to something.”

He pressed his body against my back and butt. Well .. Something was up. He pressed his mouth to my neck, and slid a hand under my, well his, shirt, spread it on my stomach. I sighed and pressed back against him. His hand slid up, latched onto my left breast. Kneading, pulling, his fingers soon had my nipple hard in his hand. He moved his hand to the other one, gave it the same attentions. Then he slid said same hand down my stomach, and between my legs. I shifted, opening them, and his hand wasted no time, he parted my lower lips, rubbed two fingers on and around my clit, then down to slide inside me for a moment, before moving back up. A relentless rhythm, back and forth. Soon he added his cock to the mix.. Rubbing it against me from behind, the friction unbelievable. 

His breathing was ragged against my ear, and I was slowly dying from need. I reached behind me, wrapped my fingers around him. He moaned in my ear, low and breathy. He thrust his hips, sliding his cock back and forth through my grip. After a few thrusts he was shaking against me. He removed my hand, and after kissing my knuckles, he guided himself to my entrance, and with his hand on my hip, he buried his cock deep inside me. I groaned, the heat flooding my body incredible. He started to move, slowly at first, his hand still gripping my hip. Then faster, sliding his hand up to grasp my breast again.

I was moaning and pleading. Then his hand was between my legs again, pressing and rubbing and pushing me closer and closer. 

I pressed my mouth to my arm, smothering my cry when I finally came, my fingers clawing at the bed. Shuddering and throbbing, I pulled Cullen right along with me. I felt him tense up behind me, grind his hips against my butt as he spent himself deep inside me. He pressed his face to my neck again and took a deep breath. 

“Maker.  I dreamt about you then woke up and you, ah you were against me and naked enough to remind me of the dream.” He kissed my neck, hugged me close. 

“Are you wearing my shirt?” he asked. I giggled. 

“Maybe.”

He sighed dramatically. “I need my shirt back Aurelia.” He tried to sound serious but we both knew otherwise. He pulled himself from me, and I rolled onto back next to him. He slid the shirt up and managed to pull it over my head. Then he just threw it at the floor. And then he just looked at me. All of me. Laying there all flushed and half awake. He leaned down and kissed me, deep and passion filled. Tongue against tongue, and after a minute he was laying on top of me, his mouth thoroughly ravaging mine. After a few minutes, he finally pulled his mouth from mine, 

pressed his forehead against mine. 

“We should get up,” he said with a chuckle. I cocked an eyebrow. “Well you  _ were _ up a few minutes ago.. Doesn't that count?” 

“Oh, and aren't you full of sass this morning?” he asked with a smile. 

“Well I was full of  _ something _ .. I wouldn't call it sass though.” 

He laughed. “I'll show you  _ something _ ,” he said his voice low and almost menacing. Then his hands were on my ribs, and I was laughing while he sat on me and tickled me breathless. The dogs woke up at my first peal of laughter, and tried to join the fun. Lady attacked Cullen with licks and Fen helped by trying to nip his toes. Cullen collapsed into the bed next to me laughing, fending them off half heartedly. He looked over at me, and gave me a bright grin. 

It struck me. He was.. Well and truly happy. Those shadows that had lingered in his eyes? Even after I had fixed his nightmares… the constant nagging fear we had all felt. They were gone. I smiled back, sat up and got out of the bed. I went to the dresser, where my clothes bad magically appeared, and pulled out a cloth. While he was occupied by the dogs, I cleaned myself off and proceeded to start dressing. Gray leather pants, a teal linen shirt, and a gray vest. When I sat on the end of the bed to put my boots on, Cullen wrapped his arms around me from behind me. 

I turned to find him laying behind me. “You know, we never really got the chance to just.. Laze about like this. Well before,” he said quietly. I put my hand to his cheek. 

“There were a lot of things we didn't get to do  _ before _ . We can enjoy them now. But you've lazed enough love.” I kissed him. He sighed dramatically but nodded. He got off the bed and dressed, dark brown pants, one of his usual linen shirts and a leather vest. After he put his own boots on and fixed the bed, he went through the adjoining door and mussed that bed up, keeping appearances and all. 

We went downstairs together, the dogs on our heels. 

Over the next few days, we fell into a comfortable pattern. Lazy mornings, playing with Stan and the dogs, lunch together with Cullen's mother, and evenings full of his siblings and laughing and talking. I had several days without the weird spells so I had thought myself better. 

Think again…

After a week, I was enjoying a rainy afternoon in their small but cozy library. I had actually managed to find one of Varric’s books and was currently entertaining myself with that. Edith came into the room, and when I stood to welcome her, I apparently fainted.

The Inquisitor. Fainted. In front of her lover's mother. 

 

I felt a cool cloth on my head, and heard Cullen whispering frantically. I opened my eyes and found myself on the couch. “What happened?” I asked.

“You fainted.”

“I what?!”

“Fainted. Almost scared my mother to death.” He pulled me into his arms, hugging me close. “You almost scared  _ me _ to death,” he whispered in my ear. 

“I'm sorry,” I said, still perplexed. I had been feeling so much better. 

“Had this happened before?” Edith asked me. I shrugged. 

“I threw up one morning before we got here, and I've been dizzy a few times. Nothing dramatic and I just chalked it up to the last few months being what they were.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Cullen asked. I sighed. 

“Because you hover and worry and you didn't need that here. And they always passed quickly so I didn't worry about it.”

He scowled at me. His mother just looked amused. 

“Have you considered that you might be carrying?” she asked me. Felt myself pale. 

“Carrying what?” Cullen asked. 

She laughed. “A child, Cullen. Really? ‘Carrying what’?”

He looked at me. I couldn't speak. 

“A .. Child. You're.. Could you be?” he asked me. I shook my head.

“I've been using the herbs Leliana got for me. And they've worked. I've not.. Not had a time of the month since I started them. Back right after we,” I coughed, “started ‘stuff'.”

His mother started to pace. “Those types of herbs are usually pretty successful. Were you sick or forgotten any doses?”

I shook my head. I hadn't been sick in a long while. But Cullen looked at me. 

“The poison.” All he said. Those two words and I paled again. 

“Poison?” she asked. 

“Back.. Just over 6 weeks ago, she was poisoned. Tevinter magical poison. It almost killed her.”

His mother thought on it. 

“How much healing did she have to undergo?”

“A lot. We had to lance and drain the wound, it was awful.” He put his head onto his hands. 

“That could have done it. Especially if you had to use an antidote along with the healing. That could have offset her body for weeks and you never would have known.” 

I stared down at my hands. 

A child. 

Baby.

Me. 

And Cullen. 

I touched his shoulder. “Are you alright?” I asked. He gave me a wry chuckle. “I'm fine. What about you?”

I sighed. “Well. I don't know. I hadn't thought of this. Not yet at least.” He grabbed my hand, pulled it to his mouth. His mother sat down next to me.

“You have choices to make. You'll probably want to make them soon. I'll support whatever you decide,” she said, putting her hand on ours. I felt a tear escape my eye. She gave me a smile and left us alone. Cullen knelt on the floor in front of me. 

“Well. What do we do now?” he asked me.

“I don't know! I've never held a baby before, Cullen. I don't know anything about them! I was raised in a tower and told that I'd never be allowed children. I wouldn't know what to do.” I closed my eyes and tried to call myself. 

“But a .. A babe. Yours. Mine. Ours. Maker.” 

He smiled at me. “Our child would have no end of the love it receives. You are surrounded by more people who love you than I've ever seen. And with you as a mother? One of the kindest, gentlest, most loving people I've met?” 

His hand caressed my cheek, drew my forehead to his.

“We can do this.” Such finality. And truth. I nodded. 

“We will do this.”

“I love you, Cullen.” 

“Oh and I love you, Aurelia.” 

I kissed him, my hands around his neck. Tender, loving. He pulled away, kissed my forehead. 

“Cullen. Should we.. Should we marry?” I whispered. 

“We could. Do you want to?”

“That always seemed the logical conclusion to this.. But I wanted to have everyone there. But. Maybe we could, I don't know, have a small ceremony here. And another at Skyhold later?” 

He thought about it. “Stay here,” he said before getting up and leaving the room. Several long minutes later he came back. Knelt in front of me again. And presented a little box. 

Inside it, nestled in midnight blue velvet, was a simple silver and onyx ring. 

“This was the ring my grandfather gave my grandmother. They left it to me when they passed. I had given it to my my mother for Branson but he refused to take it. Said it was for me. And so she kept it.” 

He pulled it from the box and slipped it onto my right ring finger. Then he pulled me from the couch and kissed me. Thoroughly. 

“Will you marry me?” he asked a moment later. 

“I already belong to you. Heart and soul. Of course.” 

He grinned at me, then kissed me again. He scooped me of the floor, stood up and swung me around in his arms. Then he hastily apologized and asked if I felt alright. I just laughed and hugged him. His mother came back into the room and congratulated us. She and him started talking plans, small ones.    
The next week was full of arranging things. Just his family were going to be here, and a Chantry sister that he had grown up knowing would perform the ceremony. When she found out who she was marrying, she almost expired on the spot. I asked her rather seriously if she could keep it quiet for a bit. Tell only those who needed to know but not spread it about. She hastily promised, anything for the Inquisitor.    
2 days later, we were wed. In the field behind his mother’s house, little Stan giving me away. I wore a simple teal dress, my hair braided in a crown on my head. I held a bouquet of Andraste’s Grace and Crystal Grace, and my stomach felt like it was full of butterflies. When Stan handed me off to Cullen, he heaved a mighty threat. “You save her for me, Uncle Commander.” Then he marched back to stand with his parents, who were failing at smothering their laughter.    
The Chantry sister spoke a few words then asked if we had any vows.   
Cullen spoke first.    
“The very first time I saw you, you were laying on the ground unconscious near the breach. I carried you back to Haven. And when you spoke to me the first time, I was amazed I was still standing when you finished. From day one, you have fascinated me, pushed me, broadened my beliefs, healed my soul and brought me innumerable joys. From your smile, to your kindness, your strength, and the very light within you. You are wickedly smart, immeasurably powerful, and yet the most gentle person I know. You, you saved me before you even knew I needed saving. And I thank you. And love you. More so every day.” His voice cracked, and he gave me a brilliant smile.    
“When I sent you with the people through the secret passageway out of Haven, I was sure I was going to die. And I was grateful, that I had the chance to meet you. Get to know you some. You made me feel special, even as, as what I am. You listened to me like I mattered, I was a person. Not a tool or a thing. And when you found me on the mountain, in the snow, I felt you crying when you carried me back to the camp. And I loved you even then. When you yelled at me during weapons training, or snuck kisses on the battlements. When we played Wicked Grace and talked about anything and everything. When you rescued two half dead puppies and brought them home to me. You show me every day what love really is. It’s not just about giving and receiving. It’s about the little things. The breakfast in bed. The support. The dance when one is exhausted. The simple touch or smile, letting you feel cherished. And you excel at all of those, and more. You accepted me, Cullen. Long before I did. And loving you has made me a better person,” my own voice, not weak like I thought it would be, carried across the field. And every word rang true.    
The Chantry sister dried her eyes, and spoke a few more words. We exchanged simple silver bands, with little infinity symbols etched into them. Forever.    
“I introduce you all to Mister and Misses Cullen Rutherford. Cullen, kiss your bride,” she urged.    
His hands framed my face, and he drew my lips to his. I put my hands on his arms and fell into the kiss. He finally pulled away, grabbed my hand and raised it above my head. Everyone there, his brother and sisters, their spouses, their children, the staff that Cullen had mostly grown up with, they all cheered. I grinned up at him and he grinned back. The dogs started racing around, chasing Stan, who was squealing with laughter. Perfect day. 

 

That night, after hours of feasting and laughing and many well wishes, he led me upstairs to our room. The dogs were already in the room asleep. He locked the door then wordlessly started to undress me. Unfastened my dress, let it fall to the floor. Unlacing the corset I had been talked into wearing, letting it fall to the floor as well. He bent down, removed the sandals I had worn, and when he stood back up, I helped him undress. First his red jacket, then the white button down shirt. I untied his pants and after he toed off his boots, I slid them down his legs, allowing him to step out. He scooped me off the floor and carried me to the bed, gently laying me down. His body covered mine, and he just looked down at me.    
“Hello, Lady Rutherford.” His voice was husky. 

“Hello, my husband.” He smiled. Then he kissed me. Deep, sure, lovingly and thoroughly. Our hands started moving, touching, feeling, giving and taking. It almost felt.. More urgent. The need to show our love. I wrapped my legs around him, as he moved against me, friction and heat and need. His mouth moved to my neck, nipping and licking, sending shivers coursing through me. His hand found me, wet with want, and he groaned.    
I pulled his head up, looked him in the eyes, reached between us and grasped him, guiding him to me. I raised my hips, taking his cock. He gazed down at me as he finished the job, thrusting his hips and filling me. I sighed, pulled his face down to mine, claiming his lips as he started to move within me. And he slowly kissed me, his tongue moving in time with his hips, thrusting and retrieving, tempting my tongue. Before too long, I felt the inescapable pressure, and I pulled my mouth from his. He just kept moving, relentless, driving us both higher and higher. He looked down, watched me. A few short thrusts later, his hand joining his cock, he sent us both over, our cries mingling in the air. He throbbed and pulsed inside me, as I clenched and trembled around him. My ears were ringing, my heart soaring. His forehead dropped to mine, as he attempted to breathe. He kissed me gently. I pulled his mouth back to mine, kissing him deeper, my tongue invading his mouth, and drawing sighs from both of us. When I released him he smiled at me before burying his face in my shoulder. He reluctantly pulled away, rolling onto his back next to me. He grabbed my hand and raised it to his lips. Sighed.    
I closed my eyes and let myself relax.    
  
I must have fallen asleep, because a while later, I woke up wrapped around him, my leg between his, his hand on my knee, and my hand over his chest. I pressed my face to his chest and inhaled. He twitched in his sleep. I flattened my hand over his heart, pressed a kiss to his side. A flutter in his heartbeat. I shifted on the bed, kissed him lower on his stomach. Another flutter in his heartbeat. I moved to straddle his legs, kissed right above his belly button. A soft sigh escaped him. He scratched his stomach. I pressed a kiss lower, below his belly button. He stirred, glazed eyes looking down at me.    
“What do you think you’re..?” he started to ask, before I took his already hardening cock in my hand, and placed a gentle kiss on the tip.    
“Maker’s breath, woman..” 

I smiled, before I kissed it again, my tongue flicking out to lick it, just a quick swirl of wet. He twitched on the bed, flinging his arm over his face. I pulled his cock into my mouth, savoring the velvety feel, the slightly salty taste. I stroked him with my hand as I slowly pulled him deeper, sucking as I moved. His stomach muscles tensed, and his breath hitched. I retreated, rubbing my tongue along the underside of the head, wringing a moan from him. I sucked him back into my mouth, and started to stroke him in earnest, up.. And down, this wet pull of tongue, and my hand. His hips started to thrust lightly, following the rhythm I set. His breath quickened, and his other hand threaded into my hair as I sucked him senseless. I could feel him tensing, denying himself the release he so craved. 

Finally, he pulled me off, and after scooting back on the bed, he pulled me on top of him. I straddled his hips, and he guided his cock to my entrance, giving a quick thrust and filling me fully, making me moan with need. He pressed my chest against his, his face to my neck, as he started lifting my hips, sliding almost fully out of me, before pulling me back down. Again and again, his hands guiding my hips as I rode him. His chest rubbed against my already sensitive nipples, his pelvis against my extremely aroused core. He started meeting my hips, thrust for thrust, moaning himself at the sensations we invoked. My head fell back as I approached my release, my body trembling and quaking in his arms. He ground his hips against me, once.. Twice more.. And growled as I came apart on top of him. I pressed my face to his shoulder, muffling the cry i made. Muscles clenching, need nearly dripping from me, I shook in his arms. He groaned when he reached his own orgasm, his hands gripping my hips, his cock buried deep inside me. Throbbing, in unison almost, our bodies clung together in the aftermath. 

We sat there, for what seemed like hours, locked in each other’s arms. I kissed his neck, before climbing off of him. He left the bed to get cloths, and we cleaned ourselves. He climbed back into the bed, and after he snuggled up against my back, we settled wordlessly back to sleep. 

He woke me when the sun came up, with his mouth. And his hands. And everything else. It was a couple more hours before we finally emerged from the room, my face on fire and my body deliciously sore. As we left the room, he pulled me back in, and pressing me against the back of the door, he kissed me. Kissed me until I was weak. Shaking. Kissed me like his life depended on that last bit of contact. When he finally let me back onto the floor, I almost fell. He held me up, chuckling. And when I was able to stand again, he held my hand and led me from the room. 

We spent the last few days there with Cullen’s mother, as much as possible. She was beyond sweet about everything, and bade a promise to come see us at Skyhold after Branson’s newest babe came. When it was time to leave, everyone saw us off with a lot of fanfare, and even though we would miss them,  we were glad to go. We missed home. 

And so we headed back to Skyhold. A little slower than when we set out. I was feeling the effects of the pregnancy, more so every day. I tired easily, my stomach revolting against me at the least opportune moments. But we were on our way.

And I was beyond glad to be going home. 

 


	13. What is Past.. Is Not Always Past?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entering month 3 of her unplanned pregnancy, Aurelia encounters some interesting problems. Some new recruits come to Cullen for help and a a surprise visitor happens .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if it should be a warning but mild descriptors of violence happens.. Nothing graphic but still.  
> Hope you enjoy!

**Skyhold - Aurelia -**

 

I sat at a table in the main hall. I had gone out with a few troops today and closed a few minor rifts. And hidden behind a tree or two to empty my stomach. Just over 2 months into this adventure called “pregnancy” and I was not enjoying it. When we had gotten back to Skyhold this afternoon, I had declared I wasn't leaving again while in this condition. This “smell the world and want to lose your stomach 20 times a day” thing. It was seriously getting old. 

I laid my head on my arms and tried to decide if I should try eating a dry biscuit or some crackers. Just the thought of it made me want to cry. Just the thought of anything made me want to cry. I read a happy story and I cried non-stop for half an hour the night before. I'm fairly certain Cullen thinks me crazy at this point. Sera avoided me. Cassandra had been recalled to Val Royeaux. Leliana, well she just tried to be understanding while pawning me off on other people. I was feeling sorely in the way. Of everyone. Or just aggravating. Or maybe that was the hormones talking. I gave up when Varric walked into the hall then turned around and walked out again. 

I got up and left the room, going up to my quarters. I managed to maneuver my big chair out onto the side balcony, and I curled up in the chair, mildly miserable. I heard the door open and the gallop of a couple dogs. They found me and nearly toppled the chair in their excitement. Dorian appeared at the door. “Hiding, my dear?” he asked, cocking a hip against the door frame. I scowled at him. 

“Everyone's avoiding me. I'm irritated. It's allowed,” I grumbled. He chuckled. 

“Oh, of course they are. You sneezed and set Varric's jacket on fire. You froze Sera’s boots to the floor and created an indoor storm when you cried. Your powers are all over the place, woman.” 

I sighed and tried not to cry again. I really wasn't even sad. Just.. I don't even know. He sighed too, came over and knelt in front of me. “I have some ideas, as does Fiona. You can't hide for the next 7 months, Auri.”

I sniffed. “Yes I can. No one wants me around. I'm a hazard to their health. A walking disaster. I was clumsy before, but this? This is ridiculous. My coordination is far worse than usual and I'm afraid of hurting someone!”

“Darling. You're pregnant. And full of magics that shouldn't ever really be blended in one body. Of course things are going to be different.” He put his hand on my knee. “Come with me. You need food. Maybe we can rouse the Commander and play some Wicked Grace.”

I snorted. “What? Just us 3? Pah!”

“Woman! You're going to make me crazy!” he yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. I started to earnestly cry, which just made me feel worse because pre-pregnancy me wouldn't cry at this! 

“Dorian I'm sorry! Don't hate me please!” 

He started to laugh. He pulled me out of the chair, started hugging me. I eventually joined him, laughing at me crying. Because it was really so stupid. Cullen found us standing there laughing. 

“Is everything alright out here?” he asked, a smile tugging at his lips. I could only nod and hiccup at him. He walked over and knelt to pet the dogs who were sitting at our feet watching us with their usual doggy skepticism. They licked his hands and greeted him, ignoring me entirely. Dorian kissed my head and left. 

“So I hear you caused a commotion earlier,” Cullen started to say. I sniffed. His eyes widened. He never finished his sentence. He stood and pulled me into his arms. I pressed my face to his chest and he rubbed my back. “You know, this pregnancy thing is new to most of us. I missed my sister’s pregnancy, and it’s not like there were an abundance of babies and such at either Kinloch or Kirkwall. We’re all learning here, love,” he said quietly. I nodded but said nothing. “Did you really freeze Sera’s boots to the floor?” he asked me. I smothered a laugh. Nodded again. He chuckled. “Now that, I would have loved to see!”

“Well you probably will if I can’t get a handle on this stupidity. I don’t understand it at all. I feel like I’m 12 again and just coming into my powers,” I grumbled against his shirt. He put his hands to my shoulders, and pushed me away enough to look at me.    
“You’re fine. You’re going to be fine. We all will be. All three of us. Faith. Just have a little.” 

I wrinkled my nose at him. He kissed it. My stomach growled. He laughed. And before I could protest, he grabbed my hand and dragged me back downstairs. Sat me at a table and went to fetch some food. Came back with a loaded tray and sat to eat with me. He talked the whole time we ate, telling me things he had accomplished over the day, silly happenings with Cole and so on. I appreciated it, as it was a distraction from how skittish I was being in the main hall with all the people. Eventually, Dorian came and joined us, as did Bull. Varric never showed, neither did Sera. Maybe I could send them flowers. Say “Hey.. sorry about the elemental damage to your wardrobe.. Forgive me?”

Probably not. The men all got to talking about inane stuff. Weapons, strategies, news from their perspective homes. Dorian regaled us with a tatale about Felix. Then Bull told us the story of how he met Krem. Cullen told a story about a young recruit to the inquisition who has never held a weapon in his life and almost looped off his own head.

“Sounds like something the Inquisitor would do,” Bull chuckled. I stuck my tongue out at him. He winked at me and I just shook my head. 

After I had eaten my fill I got up to retire. I was done being a laughingstock for the day. I kissed Cullen's head and left the room. The dogs stayed with him as I climbed the stairs to our room. I went into the closet and changed into a nightgown, yawning pretty consistently. I climbed into the bed and curled up in the center, and was asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

A while later I felt Cullen join me on the bed. He pulled me into his arms and sighed contentedly. He kissed my head and told me to go back to sleep. I couldn't even argue. 

 

The next morning I woke up draped across him, just as the sun was starting to lighten the sky. I tried to roll away but his hands gripped me close.

“Where do you think you're off to, Inquisitor?” he mumbled, never opening his eyes. 

“Apparently nowhere,” I answered, laying my head back on his chest. His heart was a reassuring sound in all the chaos.

“That's right. You're mine so stay here.”

I sighed. “I'm awake now, Cullen.”

“And?”

“And you're awake. And you haven't even greeted me properly,” I said. 

“Ah and how does one greet you properly?” I could hear the smile in his words. 

“Well that you should already know.”

I rolled off of him and curled my back against his side, stretching and yawning. He curled up against my back, his skin hot through the flimsy nightgown. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his face into my hair. 

“Good morning, wife,” he whispered. I grinned, even though he couldn't see it.

“Good morning, husband,” I whispered back. His arms squeezed me, and I laughed. He kissed my neck. “How does my fair Inquisitor feel this morning?” he asked, as his hands pulled me closer. 

“Amazing, actually. Thank you for inquiring, Commander.”

“Hmm, _ amazing  _ is it? Then maybe I should take advantage of this _ amazing _ ness.” Heat exploded in my stomach. His hands moved up my stomach to cup my breasts through the nightgown. “Mmm what have I found here?” he whispered in my ear. I shivered in his arms. His thumbs dragged the low top of the nightgown down, freeing each breast. He cupped them again, careful and gentle, mindful of their newfound sensitivity. My hands covered his and I bit back a sigh. I could feel his growing arousal against my butt. His teeth gently scraped the side of my neck, and his tongue soothed the sting. His hands made a leisurely exploration of my body, breasts, stomach. Thighs, hips. They just.. Wandered where they pleased. 

I had no complaint. They left shivers and goosebumps in their wake, a clear trail of where they had been. My nipples were hard against his knowing fingers, and my stomach a hot mess of nerves. He slid his hands down my sides and slowly pulled my nightgown up, baring my skin to his fingers. He shifted his hips, and mine, and lifted my right leg enough to get his hand between them. I gasped when he touched me. So sensitive to the touch, and my Commander was adapting well. His fingers cupped me, hot against my skin. Then he used two and parted my lower lips, a sigh of contentment feathering against my neck.    
His lips found my ear as his fingers gently slid inside me. I moaned softly, savoring the feel of him. He pulled those same two fingers back out.. And up to circle my clit gently. My hips twitched beneath his administrations, my body craving his touch. I tried to reach between my back and his stomach, but he just “Tsk”-ed in my ear, telling me, “All in due time,” in that soft whisper of his. His fingers slid inside me again, his thumb moving to my clit. It didn’t take much, a few thrusts and a few well timed rubs, before he had me shaking in his arms trying to stave off the inevitable. 

His lips pressed to my ear, and he whispered. “Don’t deny it, you know I love the sounds you make when you come apart in my arms.” 

And I was lost, crying out, pressing against his hand as my release tore through me. Clenching and throbbing, pulsing and so very wet. My stomach was tight and hot and my breath completely ragged. Ears ringing, chest heaving. His hand stopped moving and he just held me for a few minutes.    
After I finally calmed, he placed a single kiss on my shoulder, before shifting himself behind me. His hand moved my right leg forward, and then touched me again, for only a moment, before I felt the tip of his cock at my entrance. His hands moved to my hips as he slowly pressed forward, filling me ever so slowly. I could feel him trembling behind me, his hands gripping my hips on the edge of painfully. I buried my face against the bed, my fingers grasping the sheet.

Then.. he moved. A slow retreat, and a quick thrust back in. I moaned, couldn’t stop myself. My hips pressed closer to him, urging him on. The rhythm he set was almost ruthless, brutal, in its gentle steady pace. I was begging within minutes. For more, or less, or anything ever. Because he managed to drive us both insane, with his iron control.    
His breath was as ragged as mine, when he finally moved faster, plunging deeper and deeper. 

And finally… bliss. He threw me over the edge, the bed muffling my cry as my body clenched down on his still moving cock. He growled, following close behind. We laid there, a throbbing, pulsing, shaking mess. His hands held my hips against his, his cock buried deep inside me. I felt his forehead against the back of my head, his breath ruffling my hair. I sighed and tried to breathe. I started to giggle, quietly.    
“What are you on about, woman?” he whispered into my hair. 

I shook my head and tried to stop. But they just kept rolling out of my mouth.    
“What on earth is so funny?” he asked, clearly puzzled.    
“I was just thinking. Stupid things, ignore me.” I pressed my face back into the bed and smothered another laugh.

“I feel like I missed something here,” he almost whined at me. I laughed harder. He pulled out of me, and rolled me onto my back, and I just kept giggling.    
“You make me crazy,” he muttered down at me. I grinned up at him, caressing his face, my thumb tracing that sexy scar over his lip.

“Aye, but you love me anyways.” 

He tried to scowl and failed. He just opted for kissing me, a thing I could not object to. My lips opened under his, as he thoroughly distracted me. His body pressed close, and his mouth hot, I lost all train of thought again, which was probably his point. When he pulled away, he looked very satisfied with himself. I just stared up at him, dazed.    
“Now, that’s more like it,” he said with a smiley-smirk. My insides melted. He gave me one last kiss before climbing off of me and the bed. Whistling, he went to the dresser and got cloths, tossing one to me before seeing to himself. He then went into the closet to get dressed. I grumbled and followed him, just in time to see him pull his pants over his hips. I sighed, and wrapped my arms around his back. 

“Morning shouldn’t be here. Let’s go back to bed?” I asked hopefully, my breasts against his back, my hands splayed over his stomach. His muscles twitched under my fingers and he chuckled at me.    
“You know I have things to get done today, there are some new Templar recruits coming in today, and stop that!” he said as my hands slid lower down his stomach. He grabbed them and turned around. “You go back to bed. Sleep. Enjoy having an excuse to laze about. Please.” I scowled at him, “Cullen. I’m standing here naked and you are well and truly ignoring it.”   
“Aye, you are naked. Deliciously so. And if I hadn’t promised Cassandra that I would meet these new recruits, I would carry your delightfully naked self back to that bed.”    
I sighed. He pulled me into his arms, and I just leaned my head on his chest.   
“Things could slow down some, you know. It wouldn’t hurt,” I grumbled. He laughed.    
“They will. You’ll see.” 

I pressed my mouth to his chest in a last ditch effort to convince him to stay. I stood on my toes and pulled his mouth down to mine. This kiss was as thorough as his had been. All tongues and need and his arms tightened around me as it progressed. I could feel the affect it was having on him against my stomach, and when he eventually pulled away, he looked.. So torn. I loved it. Let him stew on that for leaving me here by myself. I kissed him once more, all innocence and left the closet, but not without a pointed look at the front of his very strained pants. He blushed, from his chest up to his golden hair. And set about finishing getting dressed, mumbling under his breath.    
I climbed back into bed, intent on taking advantage of the extra time. I stole his pillow and pulled the covers up to my chin, curling on my side and sighing. Cullen came to the bed and knelt in front of my face. “If I can get them settled and everything soon enough, I will come back. I promise. And we will.. Finish that closet discussion when I do,” he said, every word stark with promise. I felt heat steal up my face. “That was rather brazen of me, wasn’t it?” I asked quietly. He nodded, “Indeed it was. You’re very lucky I love you,” he said with a chuckle, kissing my head before getting up and leaving. I sighed dramatically as he headed down the stairs, whistling for the dogs to follow. Ten feet pounded out of the tower, and I was left in silence. 

Glorious silence.    
I promptly fell back asleep, the taste of him still on my lips, and the scent of him under my head. 

It was good to be Inquisitor. 

 

_ A few hours later I awoke to utter.. Silence. I got up and looked around. The air around me was an eerie blurred grey, like smoke or fog had been poured into Skyhold. I went and retrieved a robe from the closet, and put it on as I descended the stairs. When I reached the main hall, everything was dark. No torches, no people, no dogs. The fire in the giant fireplace was dark, and it felt cold and stale. None of the tables, or curtains, or decorations I had ordered for the keep were there. Stark plain wooden tables adorned the hall. But they were dusty and unused. I wandered through, my bare feet making no noise on the rough carpet lining the center of the floor. I made my way to the rotunda. No paint on the walls. No scaffolding abandoned. The stairway leading up to the library was rubble. I felt a shiver of unease streak down my spine.  _ _   
_ _ I turned and went to the door that would lead to Cullen’s tower office. When I opened it, the pathway leading across the keep was broken and unusable. I started to feel something akin to panic. I walked quickly back through the rotunda into the hall, then to the big double doors.  _

_ I opened them. And nearly panicked again. Nothing. All of the improvements we had made to the keep? Gone. Walls were crumbling, three of the towers were destroyed. The portcullis was hanging crooked from its sheath in the wall. The stairs leading from the main hall were broken and crumbling, the pathway down to the courtyard in shambles. I started walking down the stairs, my stomach in knots. There was no sign of any living anything. No birds chirping. No horses, no dogs. No squirrels. No people. No sound of any sort. Just.. Uneasy silence.  _

_ I made it to the bottom courtyard. I started walking towards the gate, my bare feet rustling over the dirt path. There was no wind, no sun.. Just eerie gray mist.  _

_ I made it to the gate. Looked out and the bridge.. Was gone. With my stomach completely cold, I approached it, ducking under the crooked gate. Walked the few feet out to the broken edge of the bridge. The closer I got to the edge, the worse I felt.  _

_ My ears started to ring. _

_ My hands grew clammy. _

_ My stomach tense. _

_ But I still walked.  _

_ One foot.  _

_ Two. _

_ Three feet. _

_ Four.  _

_ I got to the edge. Looked over.  _

_ Fell to my knees, horror exploding through me. _

_ There, on the broken pieces of the bridge, all propped up on each other below me, was my entire family.  _

_ The Inquisition forces. Varric.  _

_ Dorian, Sera. Bull, Cass. Blackwall, and poor Cole.  _

_ Vivienne, Leliana. Josie and Harding.  _

_ Cullen. Maker, Cullen laid there broken and rotting.  _

_ I could feel my stomach threatening to heave.  _

 

_ I knew I was in the Fade. _

_ I knew this wasn't real. But.. It felt so real.  _

_ Then it started. The pain. In my hand. Streaking up my arm. I fell to the side, clutching my arm. Screaming.  _

 

_ AURELIA! _

 

“AURELIA!” Cullen yelled, his hands on my shoulders shaking me. I opened my eyes, the pain my arm incredible. I started sobbing, jumping into his arms. I pressed my face to his chest, clutching at him for dear life. He held me, running his hand over my hair, telling me I was fine. It was just a dream. 

But deep inside my mind, I knew it wasn't. 

“Love,” Cullen said softly. “Can you.. Stop making it snow in here?” I jerked back and with a startled glance, found it was, indeed, snowing in our bedroom. Cullen's hair was sprinkled with snowflakes and his fur collar was nearly covered. I sighed and waved my hand, pulling the magic back. The snow ceased. I sighed and put my head back against his chest. 

“That was horrible, Cullen,” I whispered. I could still see it. The piles of bodies. The complete desolation of Skyhold. Horrific. 

“I need to tell you something. A bit after I left you.. A massive thick dog bank rolled into the keep. But it wasn't contained to outside. All the buildings filled with it. And it was almost deafening quiet. Love.. I think that was you.”

I shivered. This was a whole new facet to my powers. 

“Was anyone hurt?” I asked quietly. 

“Ah no. Just stumped is all. Dorian and Vivienne came to me, fairly certain it was you. They could feel the magic in the fog. And a few of the Templars came to me as well, saying the fog felt strange. Everyone is fine though, I promise.” I nodded and pulled away. 

“No more naps for me,” I declared with a frown. He chuckled. 

“No more naps alone. You'll need naps. According to the midwife.”

“The who?” 

“One of the medical staff in the hospital, she was a midwife before the Breach. I, ah well, she came to me and introduced herself. Said she had delivered babies to a few mage families in the wilds a few years back. She offered her services.”

“Well you've had a busy morning, haven't you Commander? How many people know I'm carrying, Cullen?” 

“Oh.. Probably most of the keep. You've been awfully skittish. They have had to have noticed. No way to miss the freezing of boots to floors.. Or sneezing flames. And apparently wall defying mist.”

“I'm never leaving the tower again,” I mumbled. 

“Oh, yes you are. You're going to face them like the Inquisitor you are.” His hand lifted my face, so he could look me in the eye. “You are three times as much as any of them. You've walked into danger countless times for all of us. Let them see you're a person. With feelings. And powers. And are still our fearless leader.”

“Cullen. I've never once been fearless in any of this.”

“Yes, I know. But they don't. And that's just fine. They don't see me struggle with the lyrium. But I do. It's a thing that's ‘there' but not  _ there. _ And that's what counts.”

“When did you get all wise?” I asked him. 

“Oh your long passionate speeches wore off on me, I guess,” he said, starting to blush. I reached up and caressed his face. 

“I love you,” I whispered. 

“I know. And for that I'm very glad. Did you know I love you too?” he asked hopefully. 

“Oh do you now? My husband might object, Commander. Of another declaring his love for me,” I teased, finally smiling. 

“Aye you're right. But still, it's so very true,” he whispered before kissing me. Gentle, loving, comforting. I sighed and fell into the kiss. His arms pulled me closer, pressing me against his chest. And then…

My stomach rumbled. Loudly. I pulled away, barely suppressed a giggle. He smirked. “You need to eat. And I need a walk.” He rubbed his hand over his face, blushing again. 

“Maybe you should wait a minute or five for that walk,” I whispered. His blush intensified. I crawled across the bed naked and went into the closet, heard him heave a huge sigh. 

“Do you think the cook will have something I can palate at this time of day? What time of day is it?!” I asked from the closet. 

“Oh. It's just shy of noon actually. So there should be plenty of food. Besides,” he coughed, “she is making sure to keep gentle foods around. Just in case.”

I blushed this time. “That's.. Greeeeat,” I said, drawing out the word. Trying not to be aggravated. I picked out an ‘Inquisitor’ outfit. White pants, a red shirt, white vest and some black boots. I heard Cullen walk to the closet door. He smiled when he saw the ring he had given me on my hand as I dressed. 

“Yes?” I asked pointedly. I was in the process of buttoning up the shirt, he stepped forward and moved my hands, finishing the job. When he did up the last button, he wrapped his arms around me. 

“Kind of hard to get dressed if you're all wrapped around me,” I teased as I put my own arms around him. He kissed my forehead. 

“You'll need to allow me to fuss sometimes,” he said quietly. “This is new to both of us, and I fear my protective side is coming to light. I will try my hardest not to do so in front of your people, but when we're alone? Let me love you?” 

I was almost taken aback, but to be really honest, I loved that he requested it. Wanted to give us this. And so I nodded, “Why would I ever try to deny you that?”

He shook his head. “I don't know. Hence me asking.”

“You're the kindest man I know, Cullen. Don't doubt that. Ever. Please..?” 

He blushed this time. Again. And just closed his eyes and nodded. We stood there for another minute before he kissed me quickly then left the closet, leaving me to finish. I did so and I accompanied him back to the hall. He bade me to sit and he went to fetch food. I just smiled as I sat at the table by myself. Before Cullen returned, Dorian had joined me. 

Bearing a tray laden in all sorts of edible delights, Cullen walked up to the table and set it in front of me. I pulled him into the bench with me and we proceeded to eat, listening with half an ear at Dorian prattling on about something or other. Eventually he sighed and looked annoyed at me. 

“How come you look all soft and glowy?” he scowled at me.

“The morning sex was fantastic, Dorian. You should try it sometime.” I said it without missing a beat. 

Cullen choked on his drink, Dorian looked all slack jawed and I could hear the Iron Bull laughing very hard behind me. “Dorian had some pretty fantastic morning sex too, Boss. But I think you are in danger of killing the Commander.” 

I laughed and didn't dare glance at Cullen.  He was coughing and trying not to sputter, Dorian was approximately the shade of a tomato and Bull couldn’t stop laughing at us all. 

I finished eating, playing innocent. When I finally finished, and still felt good, I decided to go to for a walk. I kissed poor Cullen on the cheek and excused myself. I let myself out the door to the garden and made my way up to the battlements. My hand still ached, and I planned to talk to Cullen about it later on. I was going to have Leliana and Cullen send out small parties to look out for any other small rifts, and get location details and make sure to warn the locals away from them. And when I was feeling up to it I would go close them, because leaving them open wasn’t really an option. I started making a mental checklist of what all I wanted to make sure happened in the next few days. I wasn’t going to leave the keep for a bit, not until I had this weird power surge thing under control. Or better control. Any control? I sighed. 

I found myself outside Cullen’s tower. I rolled my eyes. Even my subconscious led me back to him. Then I heard voices. From down below. I looked over the wall and spotted two of the Templar recruits we had received in the last week. They were trying to talk quietly but sound carries well when against the walls.    
“I don’t know how to ask. Commander Cullen seems alright but what if it angers him?” the young man asked. He looked to be about 20. The young woman with him slapped his shoulder.    
“You will never know if you don’t ask. We can’t just go around the keep asking everyone ‘Hey is it true the Commander stopped taking Lyrium?’ because eventually it just makes us look stupid,” the woman said. The man slumped his shoulders. I debated getting involved. But then the man spoke again. “I want to stop. The lyrium makes me feel sick. How can I just ask though?” 

“Because this is important. If he found a way to quit the lyrium and is still sane?” she sighed.    
I sighed. And walked down the stairs. I walked over to them, “You must be our new Templar recruits?” I said politely, with a smile. They nodded nervously. The young woman swallowed. “How did you know, ma’am?” she asked.    
“The way you hold yourself. The Commander still carries himself much the same. And I overheard some of your conversation.”   
She visibly paled. “We didn’t mean anything by it, I swear!” she hurried to assure me. I just smiled again.    
“There is nothing wrong with what you’re wondering. Commander Cullen indeed stopped talking lyrium. Back before the Inquisition was even formed. But it hasn’t been an easy journey. Would you like to talk to him?” I asked quietly. The young man nodded before the woman could answer.    
“My name is Ainsley, ma’am. This is Keetra. We are from Highever originally, though we were in Orlais for most of our service. It’s nice to meet you…?” he let the question hang.

“Inquisitor Aurelia Trevelyan, at your service,” I said with a grin. The young man’s jaw dropped.    
“You… you’re the Inquisitor?!” the young woman squeaked, astounded. I couldn’t look much older than either of them. I nodded.    
“Maker’s Breath.” 

I laughed. “I’m not that bad. Really. Come with me, let me introduce you to the Commander.” I turned and walked away, listening to their whispered exchange, then the heavy fall of booted feet following me up the stairs. I opened the side door just as Cullen was sitting down at his desk. He shot me a smile then a quizzical look when he saw I had company.    
“Commander, these are a few of the new Templar recruits we received. They had some questions of a semi-personal nature.” He looked at them and they immediately stood at attention. He got up and approached them, his hands behind his back.    
“What are your names recruits?” he asked, although I was pretty sure he already knew. They hastily introduced themselves, and their former ranks. He nodded and thought about it. “What was it you wanted to ask?” he asked them. Ainsley looked to me and all I could do was give a slight nod. Encouragement. Support. First step in beating this thing.    
“Commander. Is.. is it true you no longer take Lyrium?” Ainsley asked. Cullen sighed and nodded.    
“It is. Why do you ask?”

“When I started taking it, it made me extremely ill. For weeks. The chantry sisters were at a loss as to why. Even now, 2 years later, I am still sick after almost every dose. From what I can gather, that isn’t normal.” 

“You’re right, it isn’t. Why didn’t they have you stop taking it?” 

“Because.. With the war brewing, they were in need of skilled men and they had been training me for 10 years by then. So I was basically told to deal with it and told to keep on taking it.”   
Cullen frowned. “Seriously? First thing they should have done is take you off of it. I will never understand their thinking, even now. So I am guessing you want to quit taking Lyrium.” The young man nodded, swallowing.    
Cullen spoke again, low this time. “Quitting Lyrium will be the hardest thing you ever do. It is beyond addicting, it leeches into your very soul. Even now, years later, I still feel the lingering need for it.”   
“How did you manage to stick to it?” the young woman spoke up.    
“I had support. A mountain of it.” He looked at me and I just smiled. “I had friends and more who were there for me in the worst of it. I had soldiers who helped center me. And a friend who refused to back down.”    
The young man nodded and frowned. “Keetra is my only real friend here, Commander.”   
“Not any more. If this is truly a path you wish to take, we will help you take it. We have a healer here who is well versed in the effects of Lyrium withdrawal. Do you both want to quit?” he asked them. They nodded in unison, “Yes, sir.” Such.. quiet dignity. I cleared my throat. “If I may?” I asked Cullen. He nodded.    
“We will assign you separate sleeping quarters above the garden for the time being. The first few months are the roughest, and you’ll need a space of your own to wait out the worst of it. They’re meager rooms, small and cramped but they’ll work for the moment. When was your last dose?” 

Ainsley thought a moment, “Last night. I wanted to talk to the Commander before I did anything further. Keetra’s was at the same time.”   
Cullen nodded. “Well. You’ll have your work cut out for you. It’s going to hurt first. And feel like an endless unslakeable thirst. And it will gnaw at you in your dreams. You’ll become irritable and that will be the worst of it for a bit. If it’s affecting your duties, we will reassign you temporarily. Seeing as we are mostly between things for the moment, it shouldn’t be too much trouble. I, well I want you to keep your Lyrium kits. Not on you. But in your rooms. But don’t use them. If you need to talk, ever, you can find me in the tower with the Inquisitor,” he told them quietly. The young woman blushed and the young man looked almost impressed. I had to smother a snarky laugh.    
“Now, I will send someone for you once your rooms are prepared. Go to the mess and find some food. You are in for a long bumpy road. Dismissed.” Cullen made a shooing motion, and they both saluted before leaving the way we came in. He went and closed the door after them, leaning his back against it. Then he held out his hands, which were shaking. I reached for him, closing my hands over his.    
“That was surprising,” he said with a shaky laugh. I just smiled. He frowned, thinking. “How far reaching do you think the ‘news’ is that I have stopped taking Lyrium?” he asked. 

I shrugged. “Honestly, our reach is a lot farther than I ever imagined it would be. So it could have reached Antiva for all we know. Does it really matter?”   
“What if more Templars flock here looking for a cure?”

“Then you tell them what you just told those two. You tell them it isn’t a cure. And it is a battle. A hard one. And not everyone will make it out the other side whole. And we offer them a place to heal.” I stepped forward, drawing his arms around my back. He pressed his forehead to mine.    
“That’s a lot of weight.”   
“Yes. It is. But you don’t have to handle it alone. Ever.”   
“But you, and the babe.”

“I am a lot tougher than I look, love. I fell out of the Fade, twice. I think I can handle this. And so can you. You are the strongest person I know,” I whispered to him. He closed his eyes and sighed. 

“If you say so, Inquisitor.”    
“No. I say that as your wife.”   
“Oh? Really now?” 

I nodded, pulling his face to mine to kiss him. He let me, his arms tightening around me, as I slowly and thoroughly kissed him. Tongues tangling, bodies pressed close. I reached behind him and locked the door. Then I pulled away, walking to the other two door to lock them as well. Then I walked back towards him, slipping my vest off. I dropped it on his desk. Bent and removed my boots. 

He started to undress as well, his jacket dropping to the floor, his boots following. He pulled his shirt over his head and watched as I finished unbuttoning mine. Before I could move, he moved towards me, his hands on my face, his mouth claiming mine. My hands gripped his arms, as he kissed me very thoroughly. Heat pooled low in my stomach, and I could feel my whole body reacting. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. I ran my hands down his sides, sliding my fingers into the waist of his pants. He pulled his mouth from mine, walked me backwards until I was against the door. He pinned me in place with his hands, and started weaving a trail of wet kisses. Down my neck, my collarbone, my chest. Nuzzling one breast before licking the nipple, then sucking the other nipple deep into his mouth. I moaned, my head leaning against the door, and my eyes closing. He pressed a kiss between my breasts, then further down above my belly button.    
Then he was kneeling, his hands on the waist of my pants, untying them and sliding them down my hips. He helped me step clear then stood back up. He bent and took my mouth again, as he wedged a knee between mine, and his hand slid down my body. His tongue enticed mine, as his fingers found me. Wet and wanting. He spread me, and as his tongue lured mine into his mouth, his fingers dipped low and slid inside me. I pressed against his hand, and he moved his thumb to rub my clit, soft little movements meant to tease as much as arouse. I whimpered into his mouth and reached for his pants, untying them in one smooth motion. I pushed them down his hips just enough to free his cock from their confines. He shuddered as I wrapped my hand around it, stroking him as he rubbed me. 

I stroked him gently, trying to make him as crazed as he was making me. Within a minute or two, his mouth pulled from mine, his hand left me and he pulled my hand from him. “Hold on,” he whispered, before wrapping an arm around my waist and lifting me. I wrapped my legs around him as he pressed my back to the door. I could feel his cock against my folds, and he just looked at me. “You, woman, are a distracting person,” he said softly, before pressing his mouth to my ear. “Is this what you were aiming for?” he whispered, as he rubbed his cock at my entrance. I nodded, swallowing. His mouth pressed a kiss to my neck, and he shifted his hips, pressing his cock into me, ever so slowly. I moaned as he filled me, and his mouth kissed a path back to mine, his teeth nipping at my bottom lip. My hands gripped his shoulders as he started to move. Slow sure thrusts, filling me then retreating. Again.. And again. I closed my eyes again, pressing my head against the door. He had one hand on my butt, the other around my back. His face pressed to my neck as his breathing grew ragged. He began to thrust faster, his pelvis creating a delicious friction that was shaking me to my very core.    
I arched in his arms, so close to the edge. Then he ground his pelvis against me, his breath hitching as he felt my muscles clamp down on his cock. I moaned, long and deep as I fell apart in his arms. Shaking, clenching. Gasping and trembling. His arms shook as he followed me into bliss. I could feel him throbbing deep inside me, his hot seed filling me. He pressed his face against my neck as he tried to breathe. I ran my fingers through his hair, and tried to slow my heart a little. He picked up his head and looked at me.    
“Was this what you had in mind when you found me earlier?” he asked, his voice almost breathless. I laughed.    
“No actually. But it is a nice way to spend a little while in the afternoon, is it not?” I asked with a grin. He shook his head and smiled. Then he kissed me again, and I grasped his face, keeping him close. I teased his tongue with mine, and felt that answering heat low in my stomach. When he pulled his mouth away, he grinned.    
“I definitely cannot complain. Though, we can’t stay here forever.” I pretended to frown and he just kissed my nose before carrying me to his desk chair. He knelt and in a quick motion, pulled himself free of me and sat me on the chair. He reached into a drawer and pulled a few cloths out, handing one to me. After a minute, he gathered my pants for me and helped me to dress, as my legs were still not working all that well. He looked very satisfied with himself at the trembling of my thigh muscles.   
“Do you need help to get back to the keep?” he asked with a grin as he helped button my shirt. I scowled at him, and he chuckled. “Is this funny to you?” I asked crossly. He nodded.    
“Very much so. It’s always nice to see that you are as affected as me by all of this. Sometimes I feel like the only one with the shaking legs.” 

I was somewhat surprised.    
“Cullen, even before you touched me the first time, you made me shake. I have never been unaffected by you. I promise,” I said quietly. He looked relieved.    
“Well, that’s settled then. Now, would you like me to take you back to the hall?” 

“No. Thank you though. I’m going to go get a few books, and steal a few hours in our room reading. Where are the dogs?”

“Ah. They are off with Bull, training again. I think he likes them more than he likes me,” he said, sounding almost miffed. I laughed.    
“You’ll be fine, I’m sure,” I said with a grin, then I stood to go, and had to steady myself for a minute. He gave me a very sassy smile. “I could carry you back to the hall, if you need,” he offered. I stuck my tongue out at him and he just raised an eyebrow. I pulled his face down and kissed him. He smiled against my lips before I slid my hands around his sides and down to grip his butt. I could hear his quick intake of breath, and as I deepened the kiss deliberately, I pulled my hands back around him. They moved to slide up his shirt, and his muscles twitched under my fingers. I tucked my fingers into the front of his pants, pulling him close.    
He pulled his mouth from mine and pressed his forehead against mine, trying to take a breath. “You play dirty, Inquisitor.” His voice was low and broke at least twice as he spoke.    
I smiled sweetly. “Now, Commander. You play just as dirty, and you know it,” I reminded him gently. I pulled my fingers from his pants and he shuddered. I kissed his nose, and turned to leave the tower. I reached the door but before I could unlock it, I found myself pressed against it, his crotch against my butt and his hand splayed against my stomach against the door.    
“Is that the way of things?” he asked softly, his mouth against my ear.   
“Is what.. The way of things?” I asked back. 

His hand slid down, and into the waist of my pants, pressing lower and spreading me and finding my clit in one smooth motion. I moaned as he rubbed it gently, my fingers pressing against the door. He rubbed himself against my butt, and within seconds he had me completely wet again. “How easy it would be, to push you over that sweet edge again,” he whispered, as his finger made a lazy circle around my clit. I trembled against him, no idea if he knew how close he already had me. He rubbed again, directly on my clit and I bit back another moan. He kept going, pressing his cock against my butt through our pants, his hand relentless. I rode his hand, desperate for anything. And he more than delivered, whispering in my ear what he saw when I came. How it made him feel more than alive. I cried out as I came again, against the door. My eyes closed, my hips pressing to his hand, his cock against my butt, hot and hard. I was panting and my ears were practically screaming. He gave me a minute, then pulled his hand back, kissing my neck.    
“Now that will be something to think on the rest of my day,” he murmured in my ear with a chuckle. I could barely nod. He was still holding me up, as I was fairly certain I would have fallen on my face. He wrapped both arms around me and hugged me against his chest. I heaved a sigh. He chuckled again. I shook my head and he pressed a kiss to my hair.    
“I have work to do, Inquisitor,” he said, his tone almost sad. I full on laughed. He was still hard against my butt and he was talking work.    
“Then let me go, Commander,” I said with a smirk, wiggling my hips, causing him to growl low in his chest. 

“Stop that, woman.”

“Uh, you are the one holding me here. I was just trying to get comfortable,” I said before moving them again, slower.    
“This pregnancy is going to kill me, isn’t it?” he muttered in my ear. I laughed again before pulling out of his arms. He crossed his arms over his chest as he watched me straighten myself out again. He leaned towards me and I held out my hand. A rather imperious gesture to be sure, but it worked. He raised an eyebrow and I shook my head.

“Stay,” I said loudly. He laughed.    
“I mean it. Don’t you move,” I said as I reached behind me and unlocked the door, and turning the knob. He started to walk towards me and I scrambled out the door before he caught me. He stood in the open door watching me run across the bridge back to the rotunda. I stopped by the outer door and he blew me a kiss. I rolled my eyes and waved him on, and as I entered the keep I could hear him laughing behind me. I got into the rotunda and Dorian was standing in the door that led up the stairs. I started blushing like mad and made some mumbled excuse to brush past him to go up the stairs. He followed behind me, “Auri, why are you blushing?!” he asked me, and I could hear the grin in his voice.   
“No reason,” I said before nosing around in the books. I found a couple that I hadn’t managed to read yet, one of Varric’s and one on magical pregnancies. And another one I didn’t even get a good look at the title. I grasped them to my chest and when I turned to leave, Dorian was right there.    
“Where are you off to with those?” he asked, grinning at me.    
“I am going to go rest and read. I am suddenly.. So very tired. Or something.”   
“Right.. So that wasn’t you and the Commander getting all sweaty in the tower?”

I coughed. “No. Why.. Why would you say that?” I asked before trying to slip around him.    
“Ah. Funny story that. Leliana yelled at me to come up to her little bird hovel, and when I got there she took me out onto the walkway up there. And what did she want to show me, you wonder?” 

I shook my head. 

“The door. The door to the Commander’s tower. It was glowing.”   
I paled.    
“Glowing?” I whispered.    
“Yes. Glowing. Brightly I might add. I was rather impressed. Leliana told me that you had stayed behind when a few of the young Templar recruits had left.”   
I sighed.    
“It was really glowing?” I whispered again, mortified. He nodded. And laughed. I scowled at him.    
“No more door sex for YOU Aurelia!” 

“Who said it was door sex?!”

“The GLOWING door said so! And your face. Just now.” 

I pointed my finger at him. “You hush your little mustached mouth, Dorian. Or I will tell Cullen who it was that broke his door that one night. Just you wait,” I threatened. He arched an eyebrow at me.    
“Ah, she does have a spine. Splendid! Alright, stalemate. Go hide and read, Auri.” He stood aside and made a sweeping gesture with his hand. I smacked it as I walked past, and he stood there laughing. I felt my own lips twitching as I descended the stairs.    
Glowing doors.    
Wait until I told Cullen. 

 

**A Week Later - Around 2 A.M. -**

 

A pounding on the door woke me from a dead sleep. I smacked Cullen with my pillow.    
“MMmm whaat?” he muttered.    
“The door. It’s for you,” I growled at him, turning over and ignoring him. He sighed and called out, “One minute,” as he climbed from the bed. He went and found a pair of pants. Stumbled towards the stairs and down them. I heard the door open, and Keetra’s voice frantically asking Cullen and I to come.    
“Commander, please! There’s something wrong with Ainsley!” she whispered, frantic. I sat up and wrapped the blanket around myself, and went to the stairs. “What’s wrong Keetra?” I asked, in my “Authority is speaking” voice. She swallowed and nodded, “Ainsley was making some awful noises in his sleep earlier. Which has been the same as the last few nights. Then he yelled and I can’t get him to wake and he hasn’t made any more noise at all. I feel.. I feel like something is wrong, Inquisitor.” 

I nodded and told her to give us a moment, and we would be right behind her. I hurried to the closet and pulled on a pair of loose pants, one of the shirts of Cullen’s I had absconded with again, and a sweater. He pulled on his boots and a tunic, then grabbed a set of keys Josie had given us just in case something like this happened. He pointed to my feet and shook his head. I rolled my eyes and slipped on a pair of sandals and we hurried out of the tower. Keetra stopped by Ainsley’s door and Cullen knocked a few times, trying to get his attention.    
“Cullen, open it right now,” I said quietly, my magic sensing something very wrong. He nodded and complied, but before he could open the door, I did. I swept into the room, sending out a healing wave of magic ahead of me. I could feel him. He was alive but.. Stuck?

I went to the bed and knelt next to where Ainsley laid. I put a hand on his head and searched. His body was indeed sick. It felt.. Like it was rejecting the Lyrium? 

“Keetra? How did the Lyrium make him sick when he took it?” I asked. She pursed her eyebrows.

“He would retch for hours sometimes, and his skin would get clammy without a fever. He spent one night last month crying in agony. I don't understand, my lady,” she wailed. I shook my head. 

“Cullen this isn't a normal reaction to Lyrium. I need you to get the healer and the mage Dorian, Keetra. He should be in the tower room above the tavern. With Bull. Please, hurry!”

She ran from the room, and Cullen walked over to me.

“What's going on?” he asked.

“This looks like what happens when a dwarf takes Lyrium. But he's obviously human. I don't understand how it's happening,  but I'm fairly sure that's what it is.” 

Cullen nodded and thought on it.    
“When I was a boy, I had asked why we had no dwarf Templars. They explained that the Lyrium is far more fatal to them than it is to us. Since we have the capacity to use magic and they don’t. They never said what happens to them though, other than the ‘fatal’ part. Do you know how to help him?”

My turn to nod.    
“I saw this at the Ostwick Circle tower. There was a dwarf who was smuggling Lyrium to a couple of our less.. Scrupulous Templars.” I looked down at the floor. “He skimped on an order and they fed him some of the sub-par Lyrium he had brought them. They did this down in the back courtyard below my room. I heard everything. I also overhead the First Enchanter talking about finding a half dead dwarf on the road outside the tower, Lyrium sick and how they had taken him to the infirmary and treated him.”   
“What..? Why haven’t you told me about this?” he asked me.    
“Because it didn’t matter. Those Templars were not you. They made stupid choices. And they paid for their crimes. In full.”   
“How?”   
“How do you think? They were amongst the ones trying to annul our Tower. And the ones who were too impatient to wait for the Right, they started trying to execute us.”   
“Aurelia.. What happened?”

“I killed them both. But not before they killed the First Enchanter and his assistant. Oh and three of the Tranquil who were unlucky to meet them before they found me. But see, I was ready for them.”

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen whispered, his hand reaching for mine. I smiled up at him.    
“I learned not to lay down and take a punishment I didn’t deserve. I’ll tell you once we have Ainsley on the mend, I promise.”   
He nodded, not looking any less worried. We could hear footsteps outside the room, and soon after Dorian, the healer and Keetra came into the room. I explained what was wrong and the healer produced a vial full of milky green liquid. Dorian and I helped her to administer it, pouring all the contents down his throat. Then I instructed Dorian to help me use a deep healing spell to help flush the rest of the Lyrium from the boys system. Keetra stood off to the side, trying not to cry as she watched his body writhe on the bed.    
“You’re hurting him!” she whispered. Cullen shushed her.   
The boy started to sweat blue droplets. Within a few more minutes, his breathing was easier, and he seemed to be resting peacefully. The healer looked to the girl. “He’ll be fine, young lady. He apparently has a dwarf ancestor no one knew about, hence this reaction. Congratulations, Inquisitor, for catching that!”   
I nodded, feeling far more tired than I had when we started. Dorian helped me clean the boy off while Cullen and the healer fixed the bed. Keetra went to her room and fetched her pillow and blanket, intent on not leaving Ainsley’s side until he was well.    
“Come get me if he starts up again, but honestly, this should have been the worst of it. He didn’t have much left in his system since his last dose was a week ago,” the healer stated, before dusting off his pants and leaving us to it. I reiterated his point and Dorian bade farewell. When we got outside, I gave Dorian a hug and thanked him. He just waved me off and meandered back towards the tavern. Cullen wrapped an arm around me and walked me back to our room. Once he had our door closed and settled the dogs, he helped me undress and climb back into bed.    
I curled up against his side once he joined me. “Cullen?” I whispered.   
“Aurelia?”   
“Want the rest of the story?” 

“Yes. But you can wait.” 

“No. I can’t.” I sighed. “That night was the first night I ever killed someone, Cullen. I made a choice. I made a choice to live. And the man who came and tried to take that? He broke down the door next to mine, found her room empty. Came to mine. Did the same. But found us there. He mocked me. Called me a mouse. And told me that before I could cast he would dispel the room and rape us both before killing us. I.. well I laughed at him. His lyrium had been faulty… he was weakened as a result. That made him mad. But as he charged I .. hit him with a small lightning bolt. It stunned him enough that Renetta and I ran. He caught her by the hair, and I whipped my hand out, seared his fingers off with flames and as she fell I lit him on fire.” I felt his arms tighten around me. But he said nothing. 

“As we escaped the room and made our way down the tower floors, his partner found us. I paralyzed him before he could dispel and we ran past him to find at least ten dead mages in the library. Three were brand new. Hadn't been there a month. One was ten years old, Cullen.”

He sighed and hugged me closer.

“I'm sorry you had to meet the bad Templars. Not all of us were like that,” he said quietly. 

“Oh I agree. Those two bad ones? They killed the 3 good ones we had. In their beds. The good ones? They were amazing people. The woman, Acien, she was kind. She was older, at least 50. She had been a Templar since she was a girl. And she loved it. She loved mages, and helping them. She taught many of them calming and breathing techniques. She was loved. So I met some good ones too.”

“I'm glad. I always felt I was a good Templar. Until what happened with Uldred. Then I wasn't so good.”

“You were changed beyond your understanding,” I whispered. 

“As were we all, apparently. What happened after you found the library?” he asked quietly.

“I was so angry. And heartbroken. These weren't supposed to be jailors. Or executioners unless the circumstances were dire. They were supposed to be protectors and help us gain the control we needed for life.” I took a breath.

“The one I had paralyzed was blocking our exit from the library. I warned him three times. Three. Times. He shot.. Shot Renetta. In the face. With a small crossbow. She died almost instantly. I had no time to think. I spelled a barrier, and in my anger.. It expanded and crushed him against the stone wall behind him. I heard his spine break. But he didn't die. Not right away. He called out to me, as I ran past him. Thanked me. For releasing him from the Lyrium.” 

I felt a tear fall, and finished speaking. “I stopped and offered to heal him, he told me not to dare. He was tired of being a slave to the Lyrium and was ready to meet the Maker. He said that it wasn’t my fault I had to kill him. Then he bid me leave him to his fate. His name was Kade.”   
“Ah, love. You granted him a mercy. Just believe that. Not everyone has a good life as a Templar. And sometimes the cost outweighs the benefit.”    
I nodded and fell silent. He rubbed a hand on my back and just held me. Eventually I fell asleep again, with his steady heartbeat under my ear, and his hand in mine.

 

The next week flew by. We made sure Ainsley and Keetra were on the mend, and I managed to go close a few closer rifts with Dorian along for the travel spell. I tried to cast as little as possible, and as the week wore on, my stomach troubles became less troublesome. And other appetites much more voracious.    
Not that Cullen was minding that part. I was accosting him in the most unusual places. The hallway leading to our room? The little library in the basement? On the roof of the mage tower? Ah, and the balcony, several times.    
Today, I was bored. I was in need of something to do, and having read nearly all the books currently available to me I was bored. I walked towards Cullen’s office, through the rotunda and across the walkway. Bare feet making no sound on the stone walkway, my dress swirling around my feet. A long loose teal dress with a gray bodice that cinched tight beneath my breasts. My hair was braided and simple. 

And I swear I had good intentions. Asking Cullen to take a lunch with me in the garden. I opened his door, and Cullen stood there talking with a man in a simple set of armor. I could only see the back of the other man's head, but his low voice sounded familiar. I stood by the door to wait, but Cullen motioned me over. I smiled and walked over, and felt the room fall out from beneath me when I saw who stood at the desk with him.    
The second man from the Circle tower in Ostwick. Kade. The Kade who should definitely have died from his injuries. 

I felt the room spin and I reached out to Cullen before I fainted. 

 

I woke up in Cullen’s arms, Kade standing sheepishly behind him. Both looked rather worried. I clutched at Cullen and tried to sit up. Kade held out his hands, “I come in peace, Inquisitor,” he said quietly. Cullen just waited for me to speak. 

“Do you know who this is, Cullen?” I whispered.    
“I do now. Though I didn’t when you came in. He said he is here to talk to you. I don’t know what about,” he answered, throwing a glance of.. Mild irritation over his shoulder. I sighed.    
“Help me up then,” I grumbled. Cullen did so, and made sure not to let me go once we were standing.    
Kade sighed and started talking.    
“I came to thank you, young lady.” 

I was totally surprised. He was standing there, whole and hale, in front of me like I hadn’t seen him at the literal door of death.    
“Thank me how?”

“You, you saved my life. See after you left, another mage found me. He said it had been days since you had fled the tower, and I had clung to life by a thread. He saved me, because he found me unconscious and unable to tell him to leave the way I told you to. He healed me, took me to his sister’s house in Hercinia, where she nursed me back to health. She is now my wife. And we have a son.” He took a breath.    
“That day, when you defended yourself, I tried to kill you so you would kill me. The Lyrium was too much. I’d been taking it for years and had become so dependent that I felt as if I was a Templar for the next Lyrium fix, not to protect mages or non mages, or keep anyone safe, or help anyone but myself. It was a hard life and I was tired of living. I’m sorry to have put you through that terror,” he whispered, his eyes on the floor.    
I had a hand over my mouth. Cullen pulled me into his arms and just held me, and we all stood there in silence for a few minutes.    
I spoke first. “I think yours is the one death I truly regretted, to this day. I hate taking lives. But yours.. Felt so needless and when you thanked me I felt like I had been punched. I learned very horrible lessons that day, one of which was that death was not always cruel.”

He nodded. “I name my son Aureden. Never told my wife why. I knew who you were. You were a rising star in the tower, even if you kept to yourself and tried not to garner too much attention. You were always kind to everyone. And the First Enchanter said you were going places.” He laughed. “And here you are. The Inquisitor. Remarkable!”    
I just stared at him. I had spent the better part of 3 years hating myself for letting him die. Even if it was his own wish.    
“I have something else to thank you for,” he said quietly, “I never touched Lyrium again. Ever. That first year was hell, and I’m surprised daily that Kaitlee didn’t murder me. She threatened to often enough, and even slapped me really hard with a frying pan. Maker, I love that woman,” he chuckled. And I could see it, he truly loved her. And he wasn’t really suffering from the Lyrium withdrawal as so many did.    
“She was your anchor,” I said quietly. He nodded. “She really is. Still. I have some nights where things get a little strange still, but for the most part, she centers me. As does Aureden. Miracles, the both of them.”   
I wiped away a tear. Damn hormones. 

“I thought about you nearly every day,” I whispered. “Prayed for you, to find peace however you could. I am so glad that your soul found it alive rather than dead.”    
He nodded again. “I did. Thanks to you. You saved me.” 

I pulled away from Cullen and went to Kade, hugging him. He seemed surprised and after what I can only assume was a questioning glance at Cullen, he hugged me back. “Thank you, Aurelia.”

“You’re welcome.” He pulled away and straightened himself. “Is there any way I can get a meal and a bed before I head home? My wife just found out she is pregnant with baby number 2 and I’d like to get home as soon as possible. But awake and alive is a better way to travel.” I laughed and Cullen offered him a guest room and to take his evening meal with us in the main hall. He excused himself and after he closed the door, I looked at Cullen.    
“So.. that just happened,” I said, my eyes huge. He nodded. “Are you alright?” he asked. I nodded.    
Then I giggled. Because… what better way to celebrate the life of someone who found a new purpose in almost dying? Cullen smiled at me and I started to laugh. He chuckled and led me to his chair, sat down and pulled me into his lap. I snuggled up against his chest and sighed.    
“What kind of oddity is it that he finds us a week after you tell me what happened?” Cullen mused out loud. I shrugged.   
“The Maker works in mysterious ways. This wasn’t what I had planned for our afternoon,” I said, looking up at him.    
“Oh, pray tell what was that?” he said seriously.    
“A late lunch in the garden. And when I was on my way to find you I was going to convince you to do more than have lunch in the garden,” I said, feeling a blush steal up my face. He chuckled. 

“Not in the mood anymore?” he asked, teasing me.    
“Not so much, no. But I am sure I will be later. Are you up for a second go today?” I teased this time.    
“Around you, darling, I am up for anything,” he said. Before he realized his words, I started to laugh. “Up for  _ anything _ ?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows. He tried to scowl at me but apparently my laughter was contagious. He laughed with me and we sat there for a few minutes just laughing, calming, then laughing some more.    
  
After we enjoyed a leisurely evening meal with Kade, Dorian, Bull and Varric, I bid everyone a beautiful goodnight and headed up to bed. The dogs followed me and ran ahead to the bedroom, wrestling for the spot closest to the fireplace. I ignored them and went to get undressed in the closet. Cullen came into the room as I was climbing into the bed naked. He gave me a grin, and wiggled his eyebrows at me. I just made a shoo’ing motion and laid down in the middle of the bed. After a few moments and a good deal of noise, I finally felt him get into the bed behind me.    
“Why are you in the middle of the bed, woman?” he asked me as he wrapped an arm around me.    
“Because I like sex better from the middle of the bed?” I answered with a forlorn sigh.   
“Ah, that. Oh well I thought you were tired and all,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I rolled over and was pulled against his chest.    
“Well I am guessing you aren’t tired at all, are you?” he asked me. I shook my head. “Not a bit.”

“Then I shan’t disappoint my wife,” he said with a smile, before claiming my mouth. I sighed and pressed close, savoring the feel of him.    
And he didn’t disappoint me at all that night. Either time he made love to me. When we fell into a final sleep that night, wrapped around each other, my back against his chest, his legs tangled with mine. His hand over my stomach. I whispered a sleepy “I love you,” and he whispered it back before kissing my shoulder, us both falling asleep with the babe on our minds.    
It felt amazing to be so cherished. 


	14. The Father We Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pregnancy shenanigans ensue, and a surprise letter arrived. They take a trip.

**A Few Days Later -**

 

I sat at a table in the main hall. It was pretty sparse today, as there were several groups of soldiers out patrolling and training. Varric had gone back to Kirkwall to check on his holdings, and Dorian was off in Tevinter seeing his family. Bull and Krem were down in the training yard being ‘trainy’. And here I sat, bored brainless. Cullen was off in an informal meeting of sorts with a few of the Templar recruits who were wanting to quit taking Lyrium, and Leliana was doing ‘spymaster’ stuff with Harding. Cass was in Val Royeaux. I felt useless.    
Although I was feeling better otherwise. My stomach was rarely upset anymore, and I wasn’t nearly as tired. My breasts hurt like crazy though, but hot baths seemed to help that. And.. I was seriously in the mood for sex. All the damn time. It made me decidedly grumpy. I laid my head on my arms and sighed. Sat up and took a drink of the water I was drinking.    
And then I hiccupped. Bubbles appeared in the air around me. I covered my mouth and stared at them with a bit of morbid fascination. 

**_Hic_ **

More bubbles. Bright. Blue. Bubbles. I giggled. Poked one. It made a satisfying little  _ ploop _ sound as it popped.   
**_Hic_ **

A slew of bubbles appeared. I started poking them as fast as they appeared.    
Hiccup after hiccup. Bubbles exploding into the air. I started to laugh, couldn’t help it. I fell backward off of the bench, laughing and squealing. Hiccup, and bubbles. 

The more I laughed, the more bubbles appeared. They floated all over the room, and out the doors. I have no idea what anyone outside the hall would think, random blue bubbles flying out of the doors. I heard footsteps approaching but I couldn’t even bring myself to move.   
“Maker’s breath, woman. Are you alright?” Cullen yelled when he saw me laying on the floor. His worry just made me laugh again. 

**_Hic_ **

A fresh batch of bubbles appeared above my head, floating into his face when he bent over me. He started waving his hands, trying to deflect the mass of bubbles. It didn't really work, it just kind of made them fly around faster. I covered my mouth and tried to stop laughing, but a bubble popped on his nose and the look of shock on his face set me off again.

**_Hic_ **

This time green bubbles appeared, right above Cullen’s head. He scolded down at me, but even he wasn't immune to the moment. “Life with you will never be dull, will it?” he asked me as he started to chuckle. I could only nod. He sat down next to me and started chasing bubbles with his fingers. 

That is how Leliana found us some time later, on the floor of the main hall, popping bubbles and giggling. “What is the meaning of this?” she asked imperiously, standing over us with her hands on her hips. 

“I had the hiccups. Which apparently now cause bubbles. Colored bubbles.” I tried keeping a straight face as I talked but it was rather difficult, as a lone blue bubble made its way toward Leliana's hood. Cullen snorted when Leliana tried swatting it away. I laughed, just a little one. 

**_Hic_ **

Bright purple bubbles. Cullen and I both started laughing again, and she just threw up her hands and huffed at us before walking into the rotunda. We could hear her laughing up the stairs. 

Cullen took a breath and laid his hand on my slightly rounded stomach. “I have a feeling we're in for a handful, don't you?” he asked me with a grin. I put my hand over his and nodded. “Pregnancy bubbles. That's a new one. What will they think of next?”

His skin paled, “They?” he asked, his voice suddenly raspy. I raised an eyebrow, “Well it could be a boy or a girl, love. I don't want to call them an “it”, just seems rude doesn't it?”

He gave a slow nod. “What if it  _ is _ a ‘they'?” he asked quietly. I considered. “Then we have two. Not much we can do about it now but wait and see. Now can you help me up?” I asked. 

“Oh, Maker, yes!” He scrambled to his feet before taking both of my hands and helping me to stand back up. He then pulled me into his arms. “You know, I don't have any more appointments today. We have time if you want to do something,” he said with a sideways glance at the door to our room. I looked up at him. 

“Are you saying we should adjourn to our room so early, Commander?” I teased. He nodded, his face suddenly very serious. 

“Of course! My lady looks in need of a nap. I must take care of her in her delicate state.” Before I could answer that, he scooped me up and carried me to the door to our room, “Help me out, love,” he said with a chuckle. I reached down and opened the door knob and he carried me through and up to our room. Once there he set me on the floor near the bed. 

I let out a yawn, and he raised an eyebrow. “Would you like an actual nap?” he asked. I started to shake my head and yawned mid shake. He laughed. He helped me take my sandals off, removed his boots then settled me into the bed. He pulled me against his his chest, wrapping his arm around me, with his hand on my stomach. And before now I had never even thought about his hand being there. Now it felt.. More important, almost like he was protecting whoever was growing in there. I fell asleep with a smile on my face and my heart feeling lighter than it had in awhile.    
  
  
_ I sat in the garden, it was sunny outside. A tune carried through the air, bright and cheerful. I smiled to myself, and went back to the puzzle I was putting together on the table. The gazebo was just shady enough to make it easier. I had already finished the outside, now I was working on the inside.  _ _   
_ _ I had no idea what the puzzle looked like finished. I was working on pure instinct. And of course logic, the pieces only fit together one way. As I sat there, slowly fitting pieces together. I looked up, and found nightfall had come and gone. The moon wasn’t out and I didn’t hear much of anything. When I looked back down at the puzzle, it was finished. I didn’t remember finishing it. I looked closer, it was a picture. Of our card game back before we defeated Corypheus. Except everyone looked.. Off?  _

_ Bull’s horns were broken and he was bleeding, while laughing at something. _

_ Sera was laying in a pool of blood on the floor under the table, unmoving.  _ _   
_ _ Varric had arrows protruding from his back as he told some story, his face a macabre mask of laughter and pain. _

_ Josephine was entirely disheveled and dirty, her face caked in gore.  _

_ Dorian had an eye swollen shut, bloody and bruised, his clothes torn. _

_ Cass was missing an ear, and had blood dripping out of her eerie grinning mouth.  _

_ And Cullen. Maker’s breath. He was naked on his chair, just like before. But his back was scored hundreds of times with whip marks, bloody and flayed.  _

_ And on the table, beneath the cards, laid my own body. Broken. _

_ Bleeding.  _

_ My hair shorn short. _

_ My clothes torn. _

_ My left hand gone, a bloody stump in its place. _

_ My eyes a tale of terror. _

 

_ I rubbed my eyes, the image didn't change. _

_ But the music did.  _

_ It became haunting, beautiful. A dirge for the dead. Mournful and gripping. _

 

_ I felt it resonate deep inside me, like a finger plucking at a string in my soul. I stood up, followed the melody. It drew me up the stairs behind the garden. Across the battlements. Up through the Mage's tower. Once in the roof, I saw a figure standing near the edge.  _

_ “Hello?” I said quietly. A hand beckoned me closer. I walked towards it, but as I did the music changed. Became discordant. Almost painful to hear. When I stood near the being, a hand shoved me off of the tower’s edge. I screamed as I fell, throwing out my hands to catch myself. _

_ I fell.. _

_ And fell.. _

 

And awoke screaming in my bed, every item that was on a flat surface in the bedroom whirling around the room. Then hands were grabbing my shoulders and I barely reigned in the urge to lash out magically. 

“Aurelia! It's me, please!” Cullen said urgently, gathering me close in his arms. I shook in his arms, the terror of the fall still fresh in my mind. “Hold me,” was all I could muster. He pulled me closer, into his lap. The objects floating around the room all fluttered to the floor. 

He gave me a few minutes of blessed silence. “Are you alright?” he asked me quietly. I nodded. “This is the third nightmare this week,” he added. I nodded again.

“I don't know what is going on, yet. But I'll figure it out. Or something.” I looked up at him. He gave me a weak smile, brushing my hair from my face. “It worries me,” he whispered. 

“Me too,” I whispered back. He pressed his forehead to mine. “Are you still tired?” he asked. I raised an eyebrow.

“Not so much, no. Why do you ask?” I played innocent. 

“Well, we didn't intend to nap, originally.” he started to say, with his hand creeping into my hair, “and I've still no immediate plans, Inquisitor.” 

My heart started to dance wildly in my chest. “Oh? What did you have in mind?” I asked. He smiled then. A beautiful, loving smile. 

“I think you're wearing too many clothes for what I have in mind,” he said, slipping fingers under the shoulders of my day dress. The straps fell from my shoulders, and his mouth replaced the one on my left, lips hot on my skin. I sighed, letting him do as he wished. His lips moved up my neck. His hand held the back of my neck, his mouth moving to claim mine. Soft and subtle. Hot and firm. Wet and teasing. His mouth coaxed mine to open, and his tongue swept inside. Stealing my breath, making my heart race, him slowly kissing me crazy. My hands moved to the neck of his shirt, unbuttoning it. I pushed it off his shoulders and he let it fall to the bed. I shifted myself, turning to straddle his lap, lifting my dress to do so. I brought his mouth down to mine, and as I kissed him, his hands pulled my dress down to my waist. I pressed against his chest, wrapping my arms around him. He ran his hands down my back, reaching beneath the material to grip my butt.    
I pulled my mouth from his, slid my hands down his chest. Goosebumps trailed after my fingers. I scooted back on his lap a bit, enough to get my hands to the waist of his pants. I untied it, and pulled it open to dip my hand inside. When I grasped his cock, he took a shuddering breath. Hard and hot already, soft against my hand. I watched his face as I stroked him. Once.. Twice. His eyes closed. Three times, and four. His head fell back against the headboard. Five strokes.. And his stomach twitched. Six… and his hand gripped mine, helping it move. Gripping him tight, hands gliding over the hot skin. He gasped when my thumb rubbed over the tip. He shuddered against me, and with a ragged breath he pulled my hand from him. He raised it to his lips, brushing a hot kiss over my knuckles. Then he lifted my dress over my body, and dropped it to the floor. His hands roamed my body, over a breast, my side, caressing the curve of my hip. His fingers grazed the slight rounding of my stomach and he gave me a cocky grin. 

I arched an eyebrow, and he brought my face up to his, kissing me slowly and thoroughly. His hand slid down my body, between my legs, finding me wet with need. I trembled against him as he stroked me, his fingers gathering my arousal and rubbing my clit gently. My hands snaked around him, one delving into his hair. 

I pulled my mouth away, pressing my forehead to his, shifting my hips to press against his hand. Delicious tension built in me, winding through my stomach and up my spine. He slid two fingers inside me, a welcome invasion if there ever was one. Heart sped up. Skin covered in goosebumps. I chewed my lip, letting him take me away. His free hand snaked up my back, gripping my loose hair, pulling my head gently back. His lips fastened on my neck, that spot where it meets my shoulder. I moaned when his teeth gently scraped my skin, and with no effort, he pushed me over the edge. I cried out as my release took me, trembling and pulsing, coating his fingers with my need. He whispered sweet dirty things near my ear, as my muscles grasped at his fingers. I slowly collapsed against his chest, and he chuckled against my skin. I took a ragged breath and he released my hair, bringing my face to his before kissing me gently.    
Then he settled his hands on my hips, lifting me against his chest. When he lowered me, I moaned as his cock entered me. This long slow stroke, filling me. His eyes closed when he settled me on top of him, unmoving for a few moments. Heat and pressure, tinged with just enough need. I shifted my hips, and his eyes shot open, pupils dilated. I gave him an innocent smile, shifting my hips again, drawing him just a little deeper. 

“Maker’s breath,” he whispered, his voice rough. I could only nod, and we both started to move. In tandem, our bodies trembled as I took him again and again. We watched each other's faces, close enough to kiss but just far enough away to be tantalizing. His hands kept me close, our hearts against beating together. And we moved. Hips and thighs, hot and wet gliding together. 

Pressure, pleasure. Building and burning. I felt the ebb of my power, flowing through my body. Need mingling with love. Bright and lively. And still we moved, entwined and lost in each other. And with his mouth to my ear, his breath hot as he begged me to bring him relief. And how could I deny that voice when it begged so sweetly? 

And then his hand was between us, unerringly finding me. Persistent and greedy, his fingers rubbed that bundle of nerves, setting me on fire from the inside out. Within seconds, I was crying out and pressing my forehead to his shoulder. Soon after his hands were clutching me close as he followed me into bliss. 

Trembling, sweating, hearts pounding. Ears ringing, bodies pulsing. Throbbing and wet. As our bodies calmed, he let out this laughing low breath, sexy as anything else he's ever muttered. I smiled against his skin. He spread his fingers through my hair, drawing my head up to his. This kiss? Spoke volumes. Slow, passionate, so very thorough. His tongue teasing mine, his breath hot. And when he pulled his mouth away, I felt almost sad at the loss of contact. His thumb rubbed gently over my bottom lip. 

“Love.. You're glowing again,” he said softly. He grinned at me as he watched my face, and I just sat there feeling the blush steal up my chest and neck, into my face. I took a breath and tried to rein it in. The magic felt almost sluggish but eventually I contained it again. “That’s getting so very old,” I muttered. He chuckled and kissed my forehead. 

“Never change,” he said before setting be back onto the bed. After we cleaned ourselves up, he climbed back into the bed with me, settling on his side next to me. I was laying on my back, burrowed under the covers, thinking back on my dream. His hand on my stomach brought me back to the present however. 

“How long do you think we have?” he asked quietly. 

I thought on it. “About 5 and a half months, give or take a little while? I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands on about pregnancy, though some of it was written by men who are really not knowledgeable at all.”    
He raised an eyebrow. I shrugged. “We should be able to feel the babe soon, within a month or so. Especially since I am starting to show signs a bit more now.”

“Yes. I have noticed these ‘signs’ you speak of.” His hand left my stomach and he traced a finger down the side of my fuller breast. I sighed and stretched, his eyes just watching me. And then my stomach growled. Rather loudly. He laughed and shook his head before kissing me quickly and climbing out of the bed. He went to the closet and grabbed some clothes, dressing in pants, a loose white tunic and some boots. “Stay in bed, and I will bring you some food. Tis the least I can do since you are carrying our future,” he said while he buckled his boots. I turned onto my side to watch him, propping my head on my hand. He glanced over his shoulder at me and narrowed his eyes when he saw I had let the blanket fall off of me.    
“You play dirty, Inquisitor,” he muttered before pointedly looking away. I laughed and asked him to make sure to bring something chocolate. He left the room without looking back and I hopped out of bed to grab a robe. After I had it on and belted I went out onto the balcony and just took a breath. Looked around the keep.    
Home. More of a home than I had ever really had before now. The tower had always felt like a prison, with gilded doors and pretty guards. But still a prison. And it was home because here, here I had love.    
Cullen came back a few minutes later with a tray almost overflowing with food. We sat on the bed and ate, talking about small inane things. After we finished eating, he took the tray back to the kitchens. I sat on the bed reading one of Varric’s books while I waited for him to come back. It took him a much longer time than I had thought it would. I was just getting up to go find him, when I heard him coming back up the stairs. He had an envelope in his hand.    
“This came for you. By personal messenger.” He handed it to me. I hesitantly took it, and when I looked at the front I felt a little frisson of fear snake up my spine.    
“This is from my father,” I said quietly. He nodded, “Do you want some privacy?” he asked. I shook my head and motioned for him to sit with me. He sat down and put his arm around me. I broke the wax seal and slid a stack of papers out of the envelope. Unfolding them, I started to read. 

 

**_Inquisitor Aurelia Trevelyan,_ **

 

**_I hope this finds you well. I have tried writing a hundred times before this, but I feel I can never find the right words to say. Apologies can never make up for what happened after you left home. And I have regretted daily that I allowed them to take you. Your grandmother forbade me see you more often when you were in the tower, holding the money that kept you out of the lower ranks of the mages as my very effective leash._ ** **_  
_ ** **_When the Circle’s rebelled, I looked for you. For weeks and months we searched. When I found out you had been sent to the Conclave, then that the Conclave had been destroyed I was.. I was broken._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I was trying to find you and tell you.. I never forgot about you. Your grandmother made the Knight-Commander of the Ostwick Circle keep my letters from you. I wrote to you every single week, hoping at least a few of them would get to you. I am guessing they didn’t though, seeing as I never heard back from you. There is so much to tell you._ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Your Mother, she passed away 4 years ago. Still as spiteful as ever, and denying to this day that the magic could be her doing as much as mine. Your grandmother passed last year. And to be perfectly honest, I was never happier than when we laid her to rest._

 

I stopped reading and almost dropped the papers. My grandmother had been this.. Bane of my existence even when I was in the tower. I had rarely thought of her, if ever, since the Circles fell. I was so glad to be away from there that I didn’t much care. “I find myself.. Oddly at peace with this news, Cullen.” I said it quietly. He just waited. “My grandmother decided she hated me the moment my magic manifested. I was this mystical stain on the snow white cloth the family was cut from. My mother agreed with her. I had never felt so reviled as I did at the age of 12 in my own home. My father tried to protect me some, but the Trevelyan women were far too strong a match for a man as good as him.”   
I sighed. Picked up the papers again.

 

**_Your grandmother’s will, it was surprising. To say the least. She had come to find out you were the Inquisitor, and that you were working to save the world. She left you all of our books. The entire familial collection, and they are on their way to you as I write this. It will take a while for them to arrive there, as there are many. You will be surprised to find there are many books on magics amongst them. As well as detailed family trees. Read them, and learn what I recently learned._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I do have a request. Allow me to come see you. Please. I beg you to let a father see his daughter. After so long._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Please, Aurelia._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I will be setting out a few days after sending this, as it is a very long journey to your Skyhold. If you wish me to not come, please send a messenger to Highever, as that will be my first stop. I will, of course, respect your wishes._ ** **_  
_ ** **_But I do pray, that you allow this._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I love you daughter._ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Forever -_

**_Your Father_ **

  
  


The papers fell from my hand onto the bed. I sat there and just.. Blinked.    
“Are you alright?” Cullen asked, brushing a hand over my hair. I nodded. All I could do was nod. My heart felt like a stone in my chest.    
“Cullen. I haven’t seen him in, Maker, over 15 years. My grandmother ruled the Trevelyan’s with an iron fist. She was.. Set in her ways. And mean. She was cruel, even. What should I do?” I whispered. I didn’t have any easy answers this time.    
“Let him come. We can even meet him in Highever if you wish. Use your.. Traveling spell, if you wish. We can travel as nobody’s so no one knows you are you.”   
I looked at him, gripped his hand. “What if this is all a ruse?” I asked. He shook his head.

“I don't think it is. That sounded genuine, love. Like a father wanting to reconnect with his daughter. I think we should go meet him. We can take Bull if you're worried. Between him and I nothing will happen to you. Not to mention.. You have more power than every mage in this castle put together.” He said the last with a wry smile. I tried to smile back but I felt rather close to a panic. 

“What if he hates me, Cullen? What if my grandmother set this all up as a horrible trap and they want to try and lock me up again?”

“Do you honestly think I would let that happen? After everything we’ve gone through to get here,” and he put his hand on my stomach, “and this, nothing would make me let you go. Do you hear me?” he said, his voice low and fierce.    
That there.. That seemed to snap me out of it. I looked at his face and sighed. I put my hands on his cheeks, pressed my forehead to his.    
“Thank you,” I whispered. He kissed me softly. “You have nothing to thank me for. Just remember, you are mine, this babe is mine, and no old man from Ostwick is going to change that.”    
I snorted. He grinned. And all was right with us again.    
  
And so we began making plans, hoping to leave the next day. Bull and Krem and one of the mages from the college, Delyn, were going to accompany us. I packed a small bag, taking some of the herbal remedies that Dorian had made for me before he had left. I was feeling better every day, even if better meant a little more tired, and wonky powers.

 

When I woke the next morning, wrapped in Cullen’s arms, I felt an odd bit of excitement. I laid there, in the dim light of the new morning sun, and I sent up a few silent thankful prayers. For Cullen. For my family that I had gathered for myself. And for just being there. I slid out of the bed and grabbed a robe from the closet, then made my way out onto the side balcony. I slid to the floor and watched the sun finish rising over the mountains.    
“Aurelia?” I heard Cullen call out groggily from the bed. 

“Out here,” I said. Within a minute, he was sitting next to me wrapped in the blanket from the bed. I laid my head on his shoulder.    
“You alright?” he asked quietly, stifling a yawn.    
“Yes. Actually. I am. I’m ready.” I looked up at him and he kissed my forehead.    
“Good. Because there’s a little bakery in Highever I want to take you to. They make the best chocolate scones.”   
“Oh ho, chocolate you say?” I perked up at that. The man knew me well.    
“It’s next to a candy shop. Just thought it worth mentioning.”    
I snorted again. He laughed. I jabbed him with my elbow and he laughed more. 

Maker, how I loved this man. 

 

Later that morning, we met up with Bull, Krem and Delyn in the main courtyard. 7 horses stood nearby, one laden with our luggage, and the other 5 saddled. We all mounted, and with our hands and even a foot or two, we managed to get everyone touching. Delyn and I cast the travel spell, and that familiar purple smoke enveloped us. A few seconds later, our feet touched down in a field, and the horses stomped about while they got their bearings. I put a hand to my mouth as I became instantly nauseated. Cullen dismounted and rushed over to help me off the horse, and then I barely made it to a tree before I threw up what breakfast I had managed to eat. Cullen handed me a flask of water and after drinking some, we all ignored what had just happened and rode our horses into the city. 

Cullen and I went into one of the ordinary hotels and rented their upper floor. A suite of 5 decent rooms. Easily securable. Safe.

Cullen sent a messenger to the docs to inquire about the boat coming in from Ostwick. We had a meal down in the dining hall with the others, and when we finished I excused myself to rest. I couldn’t stop yawning and figured that the travel spell with 7 horses took it out of me. I undressed, fished out one of Cullen’s tunics I had stolen and put it on. Climbed into the bed and fell promptly asleep. 

I woke when I felt the bed sag next to me, and opened my eyes to find Cullen sitting with me. “Feel better?” he asked with a smile. I nodded and stretched. “You want to join me?” I asked with an eyebrow wiggle. He heaved a sigh.    
“I wish I could. The messenger returned from the docks. Your father’s ship docked about an hour ago. It’s still daylight. I think we should go meet him down there.”    
I closed my eyes and rubbed a hand over my face. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.” I sat up, and he quirked an eyebrow at me. “My shirt? Again?”    
I just shot him a grin and shrugged, which just sent the shirt sliding off my shoulder. His finger traced the open neck of the shirt, over the swell of my breast. “You really want to kill me don’t you?” he asked quietly. I just shook my head. I climbed out of the bed and went to the dresser. I grabbed out a pair of white leather pants, a teal shirt, along gray leather vest and a white sleeveless undershirt. Dropping the clothes onto the bed next to Cullen, I proceeded to take off his shirt. His face was so very set, the line of his jaw belying his earlier ‘No’. I stepped between his legs, naked, and kissed him gently. His hands grasped my hips. He pressed his face against my chest and took a breath. “Killing me here, woman.”   
The he pushed me away and got up to go stand by the window, his hands braced on the sides as he stared out at the street below. I relented and got dressed, then walked over barefoot and wrapped my arms around his stomach, laid my head against his back. His hand covered mine. “I’m scared,” I whispered.    
“I know,” he said. He pulled me around in front of him and hugged me close. “Let’s go do this. The sooner you do it, the sooner you will feel better about it.” He kissed my head then pushed me towards the bed. I sat and put my boots on, then went to the mirror to braid my hair. My hair had grown quite a bit since we started this adventure. It was halfway down my back now, and full and rich. Pregnancy seemed to really like my hair. I tucked it into a loose side braid, hanging over my shoulder. Cullen brought me my cloak, pinning it to my shoulder. Then he took my hand and led me from the room.    
We managed to rent a carriage to take us to the docks, with Bull riding up top with the driver. When we got there, Cullen paid the driver to stay there and wait for us to finish our business. With Bull leading the way, we made our way through the warren of people crowding the docks, and eventually found the ship my father had taken. Bull boarded the boat after asking permission and asked to speak to the captain. The captain confirmed the boat was indeed the right one, and that my father was the owner. I stood next to Cullen, trying not to shake. Then I saw him come out the door from the lower deck.    
It was like a fist in my stomach. He had hardly aged, barely more gray in his thick red hair now than there had been the last time I had seen him. He wore a dark green shirt over black pants and boots, a black jacket thrown over his arm. He squinted into the sunlight and saw Bull standing there with the captain. The captain motioned him over and Bull introduced himself. They talked quietly for a moment, before my father started looking around frantically. When he spotted me, my heart constricted in my chest, and in that moment I knew.. Everything he had said was true. He heaved this sigh, and ran off the boat towards me. Krem put his hand on his sword, but Cullen stopped him. I stepped forward, and he reached out his hand.    
I took it, and in the next second I was crushed against my father’s chest. He was crying. I was crying. He pulled back and his hands caressed my face. “You are so beautiful, Grace, so damn beautiful,” he said, trying to smile through his tears. I laughed, wiping at my face. “You look almost the exact same, Papa!” 

“Ah, that does an old man proud, that. I feel like I’ve aged 20 years since I heard you were taken by the Inquisition. News was slow to reach home.” He sounded.. So sad.    
“I’m sorry for that. Things.. Moved very quickly for us those first few weeks. I had almost no time to think, and grandmother had made it clear I wasn’t allowed to write home the last time she came to see me.”    
He growled. Actually growled. “That woman was pure evil, Grace. I’m sorry she did that to you. To us.”    
I nodded. He hugged me again, and suddenly in my head I was back in my childhood body, reading books with him in his office, the smell of his favorite brandy wafting around. When he let me go, I took his hand and pulled him to Cullen.    
“Papa. this is.. This is my fiance Cullen Rutherford. He is the Commander of the Inquisition forces. Cullen, this is Bann Trevelyan, my father, Pater.”

The two men grasped forearms, giving curt nods. “It's an honor to meet you, Ser,” Cullen said, before clearing his throat. Bull laughed behind him. I shot Bull a look and he just shrugged and whistled softly. I introduced Krem and Delyn, and after a short discussion we went back to the inn and used their private dining room to sit and talk and eat. Bull, Krem and Delyn ate out in the main one, will Bull giving us all the.. Look. The “I'm going to hurt someone if you do stupid things” look.

“I wasn't sure you would see me,” my father said quietly after the serving girl left. I sighed.

“I honestly almost didn't. I was sincerely scared.”

He took a breath. “And for that I will never be sorry enough. My mother was not right. In any sense. And I'm sorry she took it out on you.”

I shook my head. “You were just as affected, I'd say. Is she really gone?”

“Yes. Thank the Maker and may He forgive me for that. She did one good thing in the last half of her life, and that was bequeathing you the books.”

“Why is she giving me books of all things?”

“Because, and I quote, ‘There are things in them she might need to know.’ She never told me what. They should be at your holding when you get back there.”

“Oh. Aren't you coming?” The question seemed to surprise us both. I hadn't even realized I wanted him to come visit. He raised an eyebrow, “Was that a sincere invitation, Grace?” he asked. I thought about it and nodded.   
“Yes. It is. Would you like to come see Skyhold? Meet my friends and get to know.. Me, outside of the circle and grandmother’s influence?”   
“I would love that. To be perfectly honest.”   
I felt like I was a million pounds lighter. I grinned at him and grabbed Cullen’s hand under the table. He smiled at me and I felt like I could breathe again. Cullen went out and talked to Bull and Krem about it. Bull felt it would be safer if we returned to Skyhold immediately. And so we went about making plans to have my father’s things stored at the Inn until we could fetch them, and after much discussion and argument, Krem offered to stay behind and guard the them. Bull and Delyn would escort the 5 of us home magically, with Delyn and Bull going back to get my father’s things after. He was a bit unsure about the magic travel, but we promised an explanation after we arrived at home. He agreed and after much fuss, we rode the horses we had brought with us out of town, and used the spell once more. 

 

When the purple smoke vanished, I could feel my stomach revolting against the spell, and after making a mad dash off my horse, I ran to a nearby tree. I could hear the men talking as I stood there dry heaving for the second time today. When I finished, I stood up and straightened myself out. Explaining this was going to be awkward. I walked back to them, giving a wry smile and a shrug. I mounted my horse again and we rode for the castle. Cullen and my father talked and I just rode in silence, trying to will my body to agree. No more magical travel for me for a while.

When we finally reached Skyhold, I let Cullen help me dismount. While he had me in his arms, he asked me quietly, “Are you alright?” 

I nodded. “I’ll be fine. I don’t think I should do that again though. It felt.. Off. Far more uncomfortable than the previous times we did it.”   
“Do we need to get the healer?” 

“I don’t think so, thank you though.” I straightened his cloak, smoothing the edges and occupying my hands. He hugged me close and I was beyond grateful for the embrace. When he released me, he gently kissed my forehead before tucking my arm into his. We led my father up the courtyard steps and into the main hall. He looked about with a great deal of enthusiasm.    
“This truly is magnificent, Grace!” he exclaimed, practically giddy. I laughed. Cullen tensed beside me, and then I heard the barking. My heart constricted a little, and then there was no more time to prepare. Fen came racing through the rotunda door, barking and whining, and came to a skidding halt at my feet, shaking so very hard in his excitement.    
“Hi, baby!” I crooned to him as I knelt down and wrapped my arms around him. He happily licked my face and neck, whining and expressing his happiness. Lady came trotting into the room, looking as regal as ever, and walked straight to Cullen. She sat at his feet and just stared up at him adoringly. He laughed and knelt to scratch her head, and she just nuzzled at his hand for more. My father looked on with fascination.    
“Are these yours?” he asked me. I nodded.    
“This here is Fen’Harel, and his sister is Lady Gray. They were mad at me for leaving them here when we left. But I have apparently been forgiven,” I said with a laugh as Fen tried to climb onto my lap. We toppled over together and he laid on my chest as he had when he was a puppy. I laid there laughing, then Lady came to join in on the fun. Cullen stood there, looking happily abandoned.    
Then it happened.    
**_Hic_ **

Little green bubbles appeared in the air. Lady jumped up, and went into this whole wonky battle stance, ready to defend me from the dastardly bubbles. I laughed again, and..

**_Hic_ **

Purple bubbles this time, bigger than the green. Cullen started snorting, trying not to laugh, and my father just stood there looking amusedly appalled.    
“What is going on!?” he asked. 

Fen chose that moment to leap from my body into the air to try and catch a particularly slow big bubble. He missed and fell onto Lady. Then they proceeded to try and catch all of the bubbles, rolling around each other and snipping at the air and whining when they missed. I sighed and stood up, trying to not hiccup again. It didn’t work so well, 

**_Hic_ **

Orange bubbles. Light bright orange bubbles appearing around the dog’s heads, making them jump with surprise, then madly dash about. I motioned for my father to follow me, and the three of us headed back through the hall, up to our room. I went to the dresser and poured myself a glass of water, mulling over how I would tell him what all had transpired.    
When I turned back, he was sitting on the couch, and Cullen was standing nearby awkwardly waiting for me. I gave him a wry smile, and silently blessed him for being patient with me.    
“This room looks very well lived in, Grace. By two people,” he said with a pointed look at Cullen. I sighed.    
“Papa, Cullen and I have been together for quite a while now. A little shy of 2 months ago, we found out I was carrying. Pregnant.”    
His eyebrows shot up, “Are you serious?” 

I scowled. “Yes. I am serious. Guess what? I grew up, and not always pleasantly. And while I know, now, that I don’t have you to blame for that, it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. I was almost sentenced to death when they found me back at the Temple, Papa. I was reviled and hated. I had to work very hard to prove I wasn’t what they thought me to be. And along the way, I fell in love. With a former Templar. And he loves me.”   
I took a breath. Cullen just nodded at me. “I made myself a family here, Papa. I have friends and people who depend on me. And while they might seem an odd mixture of people, I wouldn’t change them for the world. And they all love and support me as much as I do them. Cullen most of all. He has saved me more than once, and I can honestly say I’ve returned the favor. I wasn’t here learning how to magic, I was here trying to save the world.”   
He looked dumbfounded. I pressed on before he could say anything.    
“We went to see Cullen’s family a while back, and while I was there we learned that an incident that had occurred here and the ensuing medical treatments, well that rendered the preventive herbs I was taking useless. While we were there, we had a small chantry sister marry us. No one here knows, as of yet. And we would like to keep it that way for a while.”   
“Why is that, if I might ask?”

Cullen cleared his throat. “We have many people who would love to be around to celebrate with us. But, until that can happen, we just want to keep it quiet. We’ll have a ceremony here eventually for all of our friends to come to. And of course, you can come as well, now that you are back in Aurelia’s life.”

My father sat there looking back and forth between us. Then he sighed. “Here I was thinking I could convince you to come home. But you are home, aren’t you?” 

I nodded then went to sit next to him. “I love it here. I love the people here. I have some of the best memories of my life tied to Skyhold and my family here. I wouldn’t change it for anything. But you’re here now. You can stay awhile, get to know us all. We have plenty of room, and I’ve nothing but time for a while since I will NOT be traveling by magic means again.”   
He raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “I will stay then. For a time. I gather this is your shared room?” he asked. Cullen answered, “Yes, ser. After an assassination attempt, we all felt it safer that I live up here with her. Mind if I tell you something?” he asked, surprising me. My father nodded.    
Cullen walked over and took my hand. “The day I met your daughter, my entire life changed. She made everything brighter and better. And she literally saved me from something a mage had done to me when I was a young man. She is admirable and brave and brilliant. I would give my life to protect her from any and everything. No hesitation. As would most of our people here. She is well loved and well protected. Have some faith in her, I do.”   
I could feel a blush creeping up my chest. Impassioned speeches, indeed. I pulled his hand to my mouth and kissed the back of it.    
“Well, that’s that then. I’m glad you found someone who loves you better than I ever could, Grace,” my father said quietly. I nodded. “Since it’s been a very odd day, and I will be here a while, I think I should retire for the evening. Grace?” 

“Yes?”    
“Thank you for bringing me here. And for trusting me. It means more than you could ever imagine,” he said, reaching out and running his hand down my cheek. I sighed and let go of Cullen’s hand, wrapping my arms around my father. He squeezed me tight for a minute, before pulling away and standing. He held out a hand to Cullen, who shook it.    
“Welcome to Skyhold, Ser,” Cullen said with a grin. My father gave him a wry smile and all was right. I escorted him down to Josephine’s office. She had stayed on with us, even after all the furor was done. Sera and her hadn’t really worked out the way they wanted, and had become great friends in the process.    
When she spotted me entering the room, she hastily stood up, smoothing her clothes and plastering a smile on her ever beautiful face. “Inquisitor! Who is our guest?” she asked. 

“Ambassador Montilyet, this is Bann Trevelyan, my father.”    
Josie’s eyes widened just a tad.    
“Oh! How very nice to meet you, Ser. I am so sorry we were I'll prepared for someone of your stature,” she clamored to say, blushing. I raised my eyebrow.

“Josephine, you couldn't have known. I didn't even know he was going to come back with me. It's alright.” 

She gave me an odd glance and spoke again, “I will have a room prepared for you right away, Bann Trevelyan,” she said with a flourish and a bow. 

“None of that nonsense, my dear. You must call me Pater. I insist,” he said, winking at Josie. And of all things, she blushed again. I stared at them in wonder, as my father held out his arm for Josephine, and with a girlish giggle, she took it and they both just left me standing in her office alone. I just shook my head and went back upstairs, to find the dogs asleep on the floor and Cullen laying in bed reading. 

“Ah, you’re back sooner than I expected. Everything alright?” he asked me, marking his page and putting the book aside. I nodded.    
“I think he was flirting with Josephine. And she liked it. I’m rather confused.” I went to the closet and started to get undressed.    
I jumped when Cullen spoke up from behind me, “Are you alright?” he asked me for the 100th time today.    
I turned to face him while unbuttoning my shirt. “I am fine. Stop asking, please?” I begged. He chuckled and nodded.    
“I concede,” he said, holding up his hands. I threw my shirt at him, and smothered a laugh when it hung off his head. He raised the visible eyebrow at me, and I covered my mouth. He pulled the shirt from his head and dropped it into my outstretched hand. Then he grabbed my wrist and pulled me against his chest. “You know.. We never finished that conversation from earlier, at the inn,” he said quietly as his arms circled my body. I raised the eyebrow this time.    
“What conversation was that?” I asked. 

“The one where you stood there in all your naked glory and tried to seduce me,” he answered. I shrugged.    
“I recall no such thing, you must be mistaken,” I replied.    
“Mistaken? Ah, hormones must have made you forget. I shall have to remind you, then,” he said with a smile. His hands moved to the waist of my pants, untying them and sliding them down my legs. He knelt and removed them. Then he lifted my sleeveless shirt over my head and dropped it to the floor.    
“You know, I could get used to this new body of yours,” he said, attempting a sneer. I just laughed. He scooped me up and carried me back into the bedroom. He set me down on the bed and went to close the curtains. I rolled onto my stomach to watch him. He had this.. Grace about his movements. Even now, unencumbered by his usual armor. Strong sure movements, deliberate and precise. I whistled when he turned his back on me to get the second set of curtains closed. He jumped, and knocked a candle off the mantle. I dropped my face onto the bed, smothering another laugh. And there was the awkward I knew and loved. 

“Are you seriously laughing at me?” he asked me, picking up the candle. I shook my head, “Never, my Lord. I would never do that.”

He laughed. Ah, you can't say I didn't try. He eyed me after putting the candle back, “Stay just like that,” he said, surprising me. I nodded slowly. He went back to the closet and I could hear him finishing undressing. Then he was climbing onto the bed next to me. His hand settled on the small of my back. 

“You are so much softer, all around,” he mused, running his hand down my back and over the curve of my butt. 

“Softer?” I ask, arching an eyebrow at him. 

“Oh, aye. After you were poisoned, for a while you just looked like less than you. Which is understandable. But this? The new softness, barely fuller curves? It suits you.” His hand kept roving. Up and down my back, across my butt, down my legs and back up. Goosebumps trailed his fingers. 

“Apparently they please you,” I teased. I had wondered, in that dark recess of my mind if he would still love and want me when I began to gain more weight. 

“Ah, love, you have never not pleased me,” he said softly, kissing my shoulder. I shivered. Then he was straddling my thighs, his hands touching me every which way. Grazing the sides of my breasts, down my back, curving over my butt, gripping my hips. Love marked every movement, need coloring it as his touch became more brazen, his hands hot and greedy.

He leaned over me, his mouth to my ear, “You know, I won't get to take you in this position much longer,” he whispered. And with that, heat exploded through me. I could feel his dock against my back and all I wanted was for him to take me no matter what position.

“Cullen, please?” I whispered back. 

“As you wish,” he replied. He lifted himself off of me, spreading my legs with his own. I could feel him looking down at me. Then his hands were on my hips, and his teeth were scraping the skin just below my back. I shivered again. Then his hand was sliding between my legs, higher and higher. And when he finally touched me I almost died on the spot. Gentle and meticulous, his fingers expertly parted me, my own arousal aiding them in their search for my clit. I trembled on the bed when he started to rub it. Slow and sweet, he took me to the brink, then pulled back. Then he did it again, this time sliding his thumb inside me. He held me still with his other hand, and when I tried to press against it he just chuckled. 

I was writhing and begging, wanting nothing more than the sweet bliss of release. Then his teeth were on my inner thigh, and his hand stopped being slow and sweet. 

I buried my face in the bed when I cried out, my body wracked with tremors. Wet and throbbing. He finally withdrew his hand, moved my left leg out, and then his cock was at my entrance, slowly gliding into me, aided by my own orgasm. 

When he was fully inside me, he gripped my hips for a moment. “Maker, it's never going to go away is it?” he whispered harshly. “This brilliant need for you.” I smiled into the bed, and prayed that it would indeed never go away. Then he was laying over my back, his mouth on my shoulder as his hips started to move. I moaned, savoring the feel of his cock. His hips pressed close, grinding into my butt, his cock filling me again and again. His heart pounding against my back, his hands gripping my hips, fingers digging into my skin. I gripped the bed, begging him for more. Gasping and writhing, I met him thrust for thrust. He pressed his face to my shoulder, then slid his hand between me and the bed. His fingers found me, and I groaned when he started to ruthlessly rub at my clit. 

“Come on, love, you know you want this as much as I do,” he whispered raggedly in my ear. I nodded, was the best I could manage.    
Heat. And pressure. And unbelievable pleasure, at the hands of him.

Only him.    
His hand rubbed, then rubbed again. Then his mouth was on my neck, his teeth scraping my skin, breath hot. And I was lost. Shuddering beneath him, my yell smothered by the bed, I fell apart.    
Muscles clenching, body trembling. Heart racing, ears ringing.    
His hands gripped me, as he pressed his cock deep and deeper. He gave this low growl when he met his own orgasm, hot and pulsing deep inside me. His hands kept me close, his face pressed to my shoulder. I took a shaky breath and he chuckled against my back. After a couple minutes of companionable silence, he rolled off of me. He laid on his back next to me, trying to catch his breath. I turned and looked at him, “That was.. Amazing,” I said, shocked at how much I had really enjoyed it. The weight of him on my back. So much to feel. We had only done it like this once before, and while it had been similar, we hadn’t done this exactly. He grinned at me, “Ah, so you liked it,” he teased. I nodded. Then his hand was smoothing my hair away from my face.    
“Good. I did too. It’s a totally new sensation, isn’t it?”    
“Maker, yes.” I turned onto my side, showed him my hand that was still shaking. He linked his fingers with mine, drawing it to his lips. “I love you,” he said softly. I smiled at him.    
“Do you now? That’s an amazing coincidence, because I love you as well.” He leaned forward and kissed me, his lips soft and gentle. When he pulled away, he smiled at me. “We have forever, now, you know. It’s still so much to get used to. But it’s true. And I look forward to every second of it.”    
I completely agreed. We had forever. And I fully intended to make the best of every second of it.    
  
After we had cleaned up, and were cuddled up in bed, as our bodies slowly fell into sleep, Cullen held me close. I felt at peace, more so than ever before.    
Home.

And family.    
And love.    
So much love. 


	15. Snow Way But My Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurelia starts to feel the confines of the castle. After a pregnancy related disaster, can things go back to the way they're supposed to be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild Trigger warning -  
> There is a pregnancy related incident, which I'll put  
> \---  
> Before and after so as to make it easier to skip.

**A Few Days Later -**

 

We all fell into a routine. Dorian came home, Bull was happy once more. We would have breakfast in the garden, while the weather still allowed, then Cullen would go off to work, and I would either entertain my father, or he would go off with Fiona or Dorian or, Maker forbid, Josephine. Him and Dorian were a pair, brilliant minds, cutting wits, and similar senses of dark humor. It took a bit for my father to get past the fact that Dorian and Bull were together. I think us walking in on them christening one of the tower rooms in their particularly rambunctious way helped cement that. I had ushered my father out of the room, laughing and red faced. He had sputtered, told me to cover my eyes after we were already walking back into the keep. It was hilarious, awkward but hilarious.   
Dorian even had the grace to blush when I found him an hour later in the library. “So that was interesting,” he said, staring down at the book in his hands. I snorted. “Interesting, was it? Were you really tied to the bed, Dorian?” I teased. He hung his head. “I can’t tell the brute no, wouldn’t even if I could, really,” he muttered. I sat in the chair next to his. “Are you alright?” I asked him. He nodded.   
“It was an odd trip home, nothing I couldn’t handle though. Tentative start with my father, but I don’t want to go back again anytime soon. How are you feeling?” he asked me. I shrugged.   
“Not so bad, for the most part. I had a rough go of it using the travel spell, my body was vastly unhappy with me.” I gave an exaggerated shudder. He chuckled. “I heard something about hiccups and colored bubbles, what was that about?”   
I laughed and explained, and the look of mystified horror on his handsome face made me laugh even more. “It seems this pregnancy is going to be very entertaining,” I said with a sigh. He cocked an elegant eyebrow, “At least you won’t be bored while you are stuck here,” he teased. I made a face and slouched in the chair.   
“Cullen is going to try and keep me here more and more,” I muttered. Dorian nodded, “And I agree with him. Maybe he can borrow Bull’s ropes and tie you to the bed,” he mused, rubbing a hand over his mustache. I glared at him, “Don’t you dare, you brute,” I said. He laughed outright at me. “Let’s go for a walk,” he suggested. He held out a hand and helped me up, keeping said hand as he walked me back through the keep to the garden. We wound up under the gazebo and sat there chatting for bit.  I started to fall asleep on the chair, and Dorian moved to sit next to me, pulling my head onto his shoulder. I dozed for a bit, Dorian keeping me quiet company with his ever present book, and when I woke up a little while later, the sun had set.   
“Ah, awake now are you?” he asked me with a grin. I nodded, “Did I really sleep on you?” I asked, mildly horrified.   
He snorted. “You slept like a dead person. And it was fine, nice to sit here and have everyone ignore me for a few hours. And you need the rest since you aren’t resting for just one now. I can’t believe I actually said that out loud.” The look of horror on his face was laughable. I poked him in the side.   
“Well, you _are_ going to be an uncle,” I said, just to make it worse. He sputtered at me. Got up and tried to walk away. But came back. “Uncle, you say?” he asked. I nodded, barely smothering my laughter. “Why would you say I would be their uncle?” he asked, moving back to pace in front of me.   
“Dorian. Really? You are more than just a friend to me. All of you are, but you are so much more. I wouldn’t be alive without you, and you will always be welcome in my and their life.”   
He heaved a sigh. “You have a way of making my arguments sound petty and silly,” he said quietly, kneeling in front of me. I nodded. “You matter, Dorian. You and Bull and Varric and everyone. Did you think me having this baby would change how I felt?”

“I don’t know what I think, to be honest. You are the first woman I’ve had as a friend, let alone a close friend. And.. I must admit, I’ve never really been around a pregnant one at that. What if I break the baby or something?” he whispered, more horror on his lovely face. I smoothed my hand down his cheek. “You won’t. I promise.”  
He shook his head. “You’re crazy, you know that?” he asked gruffly. I just grinned and moved to get up. The garden was lit by the little lanterns, gorgeous and hazy. We went to walk inside, when we got to the door and I sneezed. Instant darkness. I grabbed Dorian’s arm and didn’t move.   
“What happened?” he whispered. I shrugged, then realized he couldn’t see it. “I don’t know. Was this me?” I asked, the thought not a comfortable one.   
“I don’t know either. Let’s go inside and see,” he suggested. He pulled open the door and it was just as dark inside. We could hear people frantically trying to figure out what was going on. Dorian whispered a few words and conjured up a little whisp of green light. It floated above his hand and lit the way for us. When we entered the hall, we could hear people talking and the worry was thick enough to cut. I groaned.   
I had sneezed and stolen all the light from the main keep. I dragged Dorian to the big doors and threw them open, stepped outside and wanted to cry. I had sneezed and stolen all the light from all of _Skyhold_ . “This is my fault, Dorian,” I whispered. He laughed. “How could you manage this?” he asked me. I just turned and glared at him, and he finally understood. I sighed and dragged him inside, yelling for Varric.   
“Over here Inquisitor,” he called out from the vicinity of the big fireplace. I asked him if he knew where Cullen was. “Probably in his office, I would assume,” he said into the darkness. I growled. I grabbed Dorian’s arm and dragged him through the empty rotunda, out over the bridge and to Cullen’s office. The door was opening as I got there, and I almost ran face first into Cullen.   
“Ah, there you are,” he said, grabbing my shoulders. I stomped my foot. “I did this Cullen!” I whispered frantically.   
“You did what?” he asked me, looking around. His face finally registered what he wasn’t seeing. Which was.. Anything beyond Dorian’s little ball of light.   
“Well.. shit,” he said with a small laugh. I smacked his arm. “Seriously!?” I yelled. “I BROKE SKYHOLD!”

He started to laugh. “Love, you didn’t break Skyhold,” he said around a chuckle, sharing a look with Dorian. I glared at them both. “Useless! The BOTH of you!” I yelled, before summoning my own ball of light and stalking back inside. I could hear them clamoring after me, but I ignored them. I was heading up to our room when I got to the main door to the walkway, and I sneezed again, and nearly went blind when every fire in the building ignited at the same time. I yelled and fell to the floor, covering my eyes. Everyone inside the main keep came into the hall and started talking at once. Cullen helped me off the floor, and with a last glare at him I left the hall and went to our room.   
I slammed the door and stalked up the stairs, sliding to the floor at the foot of the bed. I pulled my knees up to my chest and heaved a sigh. I’ve seen a few pregnant mages before, not like it never happened back in Ostwick. But this? This was ridiculous. I felt… broken? I couldn’t even describe it. My magic was all over the place, and it felt like it was just going to get worse. I had months left of this. I dropped my head onto my knees.   
A few minutes later, I heard the door open, and a ton of clawed feet clamored up the stairs. I sighed when a dog nose sniffed its way into my ear. I shrugged Fen away, but he just stuck his face under my arm and tried to lick my chin. I looked up and found Cullen standing next to me. I made a face and turned back to the dog. Least _he_ wouldn’t laugh at me. I scratched his head, and he tried to crawl into my lap. Cullen squatted next to me, and I ignored him still.   
“I didn’t mean to laugh at you earlier,” he said quietly.   
“But.. you did. More than once.” Simple and succinct.   
“Not at you. The situation? Yes. Because, you have to admit, it was comical. But I wasn’t laughing at you, love,” he said. I sighed. He moved the dogs out of the way and sat next to me, wrapping an arm around me.   
“What are we going to do with you?” he mused out loud. I snorted. “Nothing. I’m never leaving this room again.”

“Ah, now yes you are. Supper is being served, and everyone is fine. Your father is waiting downstairs for you.”

Ah and there was the guilt.

Damn hormones.

I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed. “They're going to make fun of me,” I grumbled.

“Oh they wouldn't dare. You're _The Inquisitor_. Well loved and respected. This is just a minor thing, you'll see,” he said hopefully. I snorted. He chuckled. “Let's go feed you, then we can go to bed. Or something.”

“Or something? You think I'm interested in you after you laughed at me?” I said, sticking my nose in the air. I climbed to my feet and left him there, staring up at me.

“Of course you are. It's part of my charm,” he said with a grin, before climbing to his own. I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my toes. He wrapped his arms around me, pulled me against his chest. I just scowled at him. He tipped my face up towards his and pressed his forehead to mine.

“You know I love you,” he said. I nodded slightly. He did. “Then let me love you, you daft wench.”

I laughed. I couldn't help it. He kissed me then, a short and sweet reminder of what he was to me. I wrapped my arms around him and let him hug me. This pregnancy thing was going to be the death of me.

 

We went and enjoyed our supper with my father and the others. Then before they could get really into the whole “why did the fire leave Skyhold” thing, I made a quick escape. When I got up to the bedroom, I found a hot bath waiting for me.

Cullen. I started to get undressed, but thought better of it. I rushed back down to the hall and interrupted his conversation with Bull. I tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned to look at me I kissed him. He seemed pleasantly surprised. When I pulled away, I waved goodbye to Bull and went back upstairs. I was undressed and in the tub when I heard the door open and footsteps on the stairs. I swiped my fingers over the water, heating it back up. Cullen stopped at the top of the stairs, propping his hip against the railing, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Thank you,” I said quietly. He smiled at me. “You needed to wind down and relax. It’s been a stressful evening. And I like watching you in the water,” he muttered the last, but I still heard it.   
“You can join me in said water,” I offered. He shrugged. “Or maybe I could just watch” he replied. I could feel a blush creeping up my chest. “Really? You want to watch me take a bath?” I asked skeptically. He just shrugged and went over to one of the cushy chairs in front of the fire, turning it around to face the tub. I raised an eyebrow and he just smiled innocently, then sat in the chair, propping his ankle on his knee. I sighed and sat back in the water, closing my eyes and trying to ignore him. He started to talk then, telling me of his goings on during the day, plans that he and Josie had for a few things in Skyhold.

Told me about a letter he received from his sister, and a drawing he had hung in his office from his nephew. Then his voice kinda drifted off. I looked to find him just watching me.   
“This is very strange, Cullen,” I said, my voice husky. He just smiled at me again. So I figured I would call his bluff. I stood up and reached for my little stoppered bottle of soap, pouring some into the sponge before starting to leisurely wash my body. My arms. My upper chest and neck. Thoroughly over my breasts, down my stomach. Over my hips and around to my butt. Down my legs then back up. I heard his breath hitch, and the squeak of the chair as he shifted in his seat. I looked back to him and his eyes were wide and fixed on me. I scooped up water to rinse myself with. The water sluiced down my body, taking the suds with it. When I finished, I grabbed the towel and stepped from the water, slowly wrapping it around myself. Once it was snuggly in place, I went over and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips against my shoulder.

“It's nice, don't you think?” he asked me.

“What is?”

“This. Sitting here and just enjoying the moment. I figure we won't get a lot more of these with just the two of us once the babe comes. And I want to enjoy them as thoroughly as I can.” He pressed his lips to my shoulder again. My heart started this slow steady thump in my chest. I pressed my left hand to his cheek.

“I love you, you know that, right?” I asked him. He nodded.

“I don't doubt that. Even when you get snippy at me for laughing at you,” his eyes shined as he said it. I bumped him with my shoulder. “I knew you were laughing at me!”

He chuckled. “You should have seen your face, your eyes were wild and bright, your hair in wild disarray, and you were so pale in that stupid light of Dorian's. It was all just comical.”

I sighed. He tugged on my towel, dislodging it from where I had tucked it between my breasts. It fell in a heap onto my lap. I stood and let it fall to the floor, before following it, kneeling between his legs. “What are you..” he started to say when my hands moved to the ties on his pants. He quieted when he saw what I was about. I slowly untied them, my fingers brushing against his already hardening arousal. His leg twitched against my arm, and when I finally freed his cock from his pants, he shuddered.

I wrapped my fingers around him, stroking him gently. His eyes were dark and intense, watching my hand. I ran my thumb over the tip, so hot and smooth, and when I leaned forward to take him in my mouth his entire body tensed. I ran my tongue around the head, before wrapping my lips around him. His hands gripped the wide arms of the chair, his head falling back as I sucked him further into my mouth. I bobbed my head a few times, before licking my way down the length of him, making his body tense. I then did the same going back up his cock, and by the time I reached the tip his hips were lifting off the chair to press it into my mouth. He took a shaky breath when I wrapped my lips about him again, his hand threading into my hair, gentle encouragement from strong fingers.

I stroked him with my mouth. Long, deep and wet, my tongue adding to the pleasure he was feeling, the sounds coming from his throat a definite indicator that he was enjoying this. My shoulders pressed to his trembling thighs, his stomach tensing each time he was deep inside my mouth. After another few moments, he pulled my head from his cock, and up his body. I straddled his lap on the chair, claiming his mouth. Lips tangling, tongues greedy, his heart hammering away in his chest. His hand moved between my legs and he growled into my mouth when he found me wet. He slipped two fingers inside me, his thumb unerringly finding my clit, making me gasp. He pulled his mouth from mine and stared at my face, teeth chewing his lip. “You have the most expressive face,” he whispered. I shook my head, unable to even try to speak with what his hand was doing to me. His other hand brushed fingers against my left breast, making my entire body shudder.

Soon enough, his hand was gone, replaced by his cock rubbing against me. Sliding inside me. Filling me in the best way possible. And then we were moving, hips grinding, my hands gripping his thighs. His hands left my hips, grasping my breasts, hot and tender. I moved over him, taking him deeper and deeper with each twist of my hips. My head fell back, body taking over as I rode him over the edge. He crested first, his hands clamping down on my hips, holding himself inside me as he throbbed and spent, his voice shuddering my name.

His hand moved, between my legs, barely touching me, rubbing gently and pushing me closer and closer. His hips shifted, and I was gone. I fell forward against him, body wracked with tremors, muscles clenching, ears ringing. I pressed my face against his chest, breath ragged and choppy, his heart racing against my cheek. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. He kissed the top of my head. I sighed. He rubbed a hand over my back. My body twitching and shivering.

Cullen.

Only Cullen.

Granted I’d never even dreamed of another touching me. Now, I would never want another. I lifted my head and looked at his face. He looked well and truly happy. I smiled up at him and his eyes squinted. “We should do this more often,” he said with a grin. I laughed. We did “this” daily nearly, sometimes more than once.  He gripped me tight and stood up, carried me to the bed. After he laid me down gently, and we cleaned up some, he brought me a fluffy robe and went to get some men to empty the tub and remove it.

I curled up on the bed, dozing on the mound of pillows. A while later, he woke me to take my robe off so we could actually go to sleep, curled around each other.

The next few days were fairly uneventful. My father started finding excuses to spend time with Josephine, Cullen and I were spending more time together. Dorian and Bull were here, causing their usual ruckus, and Varric was off on a mission to “collect” things. He wouldn't tell me what things, but he roped Cole and Sera into joining him.

On the 4th afternoon, I was sitting in the garden, wrapped in blankets and reading. Silly love story, but it made me feel good. I felt the change in the air, and noted the clouds moving in. I was packing up myself up to go inside, when the first flakes fell. We hadn't seen much active snowfall since we had taken over the keep, and this made my entire heart lighter. I stepped out into the garden, my dress swirling around me as I twisted about under the gentle snowfall.

I left my things under the gazebo and rushed into the keep, through the rotunda and across the bridge to Cullen's office. I didn’t bother to knock, bursting into the room and scaring him.   
“What on earth..” he started to sputter but I just grinned and grabbed his hands, dragging him out onto the ramparts. The snow was falling in earnest now, big fluffy white flakes. I spun and used just a bit of magic to get it to swirl in the air about us. I was laughing, catching flakes and blowing them in his direction. He finally caught on what was so amazing about this.   
“You.. didn’t see much snow in the tower, did you?” he asked, smiling down at me. I shook my head. “We almost never saw snow, and we weren’t allowed out inside it. Creating my own little mini-snow storms with magic didn’t feel like it counted. But this?” I spun again, holding out my hands, delight filling every part of me. “This is beautiful!”

He pulled me close and we danced under the snow. It was one of those perfect moments. Those moments that would be forever ingrained in my soul, the darkness from the clouds, the fluffy white snow landing on his hair and cloak. The pink in his cheeks, and how my hands were getting cold and I couldn’t even care. I laid down on the walkway, closed my eyes and let the snow fall on me. Cullen laughed at me and knelt next to me.   
“You shouldn’t do that, you’ll get too cold,” he admonished me. I snorted and peeked at him through an eye. Patted the ground next to me. “Lay down, live a little Cullen.”

He sighed and laid next to me, letting me steal his hand. We laid there for long minutes, just letting the snow fly around us. When I went to get up, I felt it. A flutter. Best way to describe it. I had felt the babe before, little tiny momentary movements. But this was more than that. I grasped Cullen’s hand and spread it on my stomach under the jacket I had on. “Why..?” he started to ask, when it happened again. His face froze. He held his breath, and our eyes locked, we waited.   
We didn’t have to wait long, when his the babe moved again, a long stretching movement, pressing against his hand. Cullen’s eyes grew huge, and the smile on his face was gorgeous. “There really is someone in there isn’t there?” he whispered. I nodded, awestruck at his reaction. The babe moved again and Cullen was practically vibrating with excitement. “Maker, this is incredible!” he whispered, turning on his side to face me. Snow tumbled off of his hair and onto my face. I laughed and ran my fingers through his hair, dislodging more. He caught my hand and kissed it. “You, Aurelia, are amazing,” he said. I smiled up at him. “You aren’t so bad yourself,” I answered. He shook his head, “You have me laying on the ramparts, in the snow, holding your stomach. Only you, love. Only you.” He leaned down and kissed me.   
Kissed me in the snow. And I couldn’t have been happier. Then we heard it, the sound of dog feet streaking across the stone walkway, and Cullen got trampled by Fen. Lady sat next to me, wiggling and thrilled, eyes darting everywhere trying to watch all the snow at once. I told her to catch it, “Go on girl! Get the snow!” and she dashed off, jumping into the air nipping at any snow she could find. Fen abandoned a laughing Cullen to join his sister, and soon there were happy yips and howls as they competed for snow. I sat up and brushed the snow off of my chest, then Cullen pulled me to my feet. He wrapped his arms around me and we stood there watching the dogs for a few minutes. We finally made our way back into the keep, where even as we ate, he kept sliding his hand across my stomach under the table.   
He hardly ate, he spent so much time smiling and laughing and talking to anyone who would listen. I heard him describe feeling the babe at least ten times, and every time he retold it, he sounded as happy as the first.

My father laughed at his enthusiasm, and not even his warnings of “someday you’ll get no sleep because of that tiny little flutter” dampened Cullen’s spirit. It was fascinating and inspiring. We all sat around talking after we finished eating, and a few minutes later, Ainsley and Keetra came into the main hall from the garden entrance. I motioned them over, “How are you two feeling today?” I asked them. Ainsley gave me a wry grin, “Better than I have been. Kee is feeling amazing, apparently, as she has told me at least five times today.” She laughed and patted his shoulder.   
“You’re getting there, just be patient. You had it worse than I did.”   
“How are the cravings?” I asked quietly as they sat across from me. Ainsley’s face darkened a little. “It’s worse at night, when you lay there in the quiet,” he muttered. I nodded. “Commander Cullen said much the same, when I met him.”   
Ainsley raised his eyebrows. “Does he still feel it?” he asked. I shrugged. “Sometimes. Not so much as cravings as passing wants. If that makes sense. He had it worse for a while, than it should have been, due to some unknown circumstances. But since those circumstances were resolved, he has felt immensely better since. Would you like to talk to him?” I asked him, but he shook his head. “He looks way too happy over there for me to ruin it. I’m truly feeling mountains better than I was even 2 weeks ago, so thank you.” I nodded and offered them the basket of rolls, and they dug in.

I went and grabbed one of the stuffed chairs by the fire and listened to them prattle on about any and everything. I dozed off, wrapped in Cullen’s fur cloak. I woke later when he carried me up to our room, setting me on the bed and undressing me. He laid us down and fell asleep with his hand against my stomach. 

\---

The next morning, I had a very difficult time waking up. I was alone in the room, and the sun seemed higher than my usual morning risings. I groggily turned over, and a pain sliced through me, from my back around to my stomach. I gasped, clutching my stomach. I sat up and lifted the blanket to climb from the bed, and blood soaked the sheets.   
I could feel my heart stop in my chest, panic bubbling through me. Another pain hit me, and I could feel my hold on consciousness waning. I concentrated, as my head fell back to the bed, on giving a blast of power to reverberate through the keep. Then…

Darkness.

 

**Cullen -**

  
We all felt it, this rumble of panic through the entirety of the keep. The walls visibly shook, and somehow I instinctively knew.

Aurelia. I ran from the training yard, yelling for the medics to get up to the Inquisitor’s quarters. People were pouring into the main hall as I ran through, and I yelled for Dorian as I ripped open the door to our tower. I took the stairs 2 and 3 at a time, and when I made it into the bedroom, my heart nearly stopped.   
“Aurelia?!” I yelled, rushing to the bed, my hand shaking as I touched it to her chest. I almost cried with relief, feeling her heart still beating. Then I saw the blood on the bed, and my panic doubled. Feet stomped up the stairs, and soon Dorian, Fiona, the midwife and Pater were crowding into the room.

“Dorian?” I whispered, terror clawing its way through my chest. His face paled when he saw the blood, and the midwife starting barking out orders to us all. I couldn’t move. I held Aurelia’s hand, willing her to wake up. Fiona approached the bed, and I felt her magic sweep through the room. The midwife held her hands over Aurelia’s stomach, closed her eyes and a light started to emanate from her hands. I looked at her in shock, “You’re a mage too?” I managed to ask her, my voice harsher than I had intended. She just nodded and ignored me otherwise.   
“The babe is fine, and the bleeding has stopped,” she said in a strange monotone. I felt a tear fall down my cheek, the fear swamping me nearly crippling. I felt hands on my shoulders, and without looking I knew it was Dorian. He was as invested as I, Aurelia so much ours it was hard to tell where each of us ended and she began.   
“She’ll be fine,” Dorian said behind me, his bravado amazingly comforting. I managed a nod, my eyes raking over her body again and again. I felt a momentary pang, as she was wearing the nightgown I had gotten for her a few months back, a pretty purple satin. I rubbed my thumb over her hand, and raised it to my mouth to kiss it.   
The midwife slumped against the bed then, her magic waning. “She should awaken soon, but she needs to stay in bed a few days. I suspect that her body is having a hard time adjusting to all of the magic inside of it. Her own, the Well of Sorrows, the Anchor and now the babe.”   
I was shocked. “You can tell already that the babe is a mage?” I asked her. She nodded reluctantly.   
“Tis rare, indeed, but it’s fairly obvious. I think that is why she is having so many odd reactions, like taking all the fire from the keep.” I let my head fall to the bed, took a shaking breath.

“What can I do?” I asked.

“What you have been doing. Keep her safe, and for the next few days no sexual relations and make her stay in bed. Don’t let her use magic unless her life depends on it, and we will reassess in say, 4 days?” she said. I nodded. Fiona ordered me to lift her from the bed and with her in my arms, they remade the bed with an efficiency that even astounded me. Dorian got her a clean nightgown from the dresser and then ushered a pale Pater from the room so the women could help me change her. Fiona left with the ruined sheets and nightgown.   
I laid Aurelia back onto the bed, worried at how pale she was. “Is she truly alright?” I whispered. The midwife nodded. 

\---

“She’ll be fine. For now. I think we need to watch her a little closer, though. This is fairly unprecedented, and nothing like what I have experienced in the past. We can only wait, however, and try to protect them both the best way possible.”   
I sighed and nodded. She took her leave, promising to send the men back up. I laid on top of the covers next to her, keeping her hand in mine again, just watching for signs of her waking up.   
“Cullen?” I heard behind me. Pater moved into my view and sat on the food of the bed, his face a mask of worry.   
“What was all that magic business the midwife was spouting?” he asked me. I sighed.   
“The Anchor is the mark she fell out of the fade with when the Conclave exploded. That is what has enabled her to close the fade rifts all over Thedas, and saved us from Corypheus back at the Temple. The Well Of Sorrows.. That was an elven well of ancient magical memories and.. Well magical willpower, she drank from the well months ago. The Voices from the Well speak to her at times, and they even saved my life a while back. She is immensely powerful, Pater,” I explained quietly. He nodded, thinking about what I said.

“Will she truly be alright?”

I shrugged my shoulder, “Time will tell. That’s pretty much the reassurance I got from the midwife as well. This isn’t a usual pregnancy, and her body can only take so much change. Think about it, 4 massive magical changes in less than 2 years, it can’t have been easy.”

“She always seemed so strong, even before her magic manifested. It made her grandmother so incensed, that she wouldn’t cow to her heavy handedness.” He shook his head. “I should have done more,” he started to say, but her weak voice interrupted us.   
“Papa, you did what you could,” she whispered, her eyes fluttering open. I gave her a wry smile, brushing the hair from her face.   
“Welcome back,” I whispered, and she tried to smile back. She gasped then, her hand going to her stomach. “You’re fine, the babe is fine. Just a little magical scare is all,” I tried to reassure her, probably failing dismally. She curled on her side and pressed her face to my chest, and she started to cry. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. I had to admit, feeling her cry was probably the best thing after seeing her laying there so lifeless just minutes before. Pater got up to leave but she stopped him. “Papa,” she said around a sniffle, “don’t go.” I sat up, and she moved across the bed to hug him.   
“Thank you for being here,” she whispered to him as she released him. He nodded and brushed his hand over her face. “Get some rest, Grace. We’ll talk tomorrow.” and he kissed her forehead and left the room. Dorian came in a moment later, and nearly crushed us both with the hug he insisted on getting.   
“Alright. I’m fine now, and I am going to go. But I had to see you awake and such with my own eyes,” he said, barely taking a breath. I raised an eyebrow at him and he stuck his tongue out at me. “She was mine first, Commander. You can complain all you like.”   
I laughed, falling back onto the bed. Aurelia just looked at us both like we were insane. “I’ll keep the dogs with me today and tonight, and you can have those ridiculous beasts back tomorrow,” he said, lifting his chin at me. I just shook my head, “Thank you, Dorian.” He scoffed. “Yes well, no one wants a dog laying in bed with them after nearly dying or whatever. Let alone two dogs. Or three,” he said with an air of innocence. I laughed again.   
“Well played, mage,” I said. He gave me a smile and wiggled his fingers at Aurelia before leaving the room. “What was that about?” she asked me, laying back down and curling up against me. “We have an understanding, the Tevinter mage and I. I’ll explain some other time,” I answered. She nodded and sighed. “What happened?” she asked. I took a breath. “Too much magic, that’s what it boils down to. Your body not having enough time to adjust and all that. The midwife has banished you to bed for a few days, and will check on you again in 4 days to make sure you are in top shape. Oh and we aren’t allowed any sexual relations,” I said, feeling my face heat up. She looked up at me, “Are you blushing?” she asked with a grin. I shook my head and she laughed. The best sound I had heard all day. Eventually she fell asleep again, curled up in my arms. And I couldn’t bring myself to leave the room the rest of the day. Dorian sent up trays of food a few times, and checked up on her periodically. I sat on the chair watching her sleep that night, unable to sleep more than a few minutes at a time myself. Come sun up, Dorian came into the room and admonished me for being so stupid.   
“Get into bed with her and sleep. You both need it, and she needs you.”   
I glared at him and he just chuckled at me. I really had no energy to argue though, and after he left whistling, I undressed and climbed into the bed. She immediately rolled up against my side and snuggled close. I was asleep within seconds, after saying a prayer or 5 on her behalf.

 

**Aurelia -**

 

I awoke the next day alone on the bed again. I refused to move for a minute, unsure if I had dreamed the events of the day before or not. I heard a paper rustle and turned to look towards the desk. Cullen sat there, shuffling papers about, a pencil stuck between his lips. I felt the tightness in my chest lessen and I rolled onto my side to look at him. He saw me move and his eyes lit up when he saw me awake.   
“Good morning, love,” he said, getting up and walking to the bed. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “You feeling any better?” he asked. I nodded.   
“Much, if what I believe from yesterday actually happened,” I grumbled. He sighed and sat down. “All of it is true, I’m sorry. But the good part is both the babe and you are fine.”

I sighed and fell back onto the bed. “As is the staying in bed?”

“Ah, yes. That too. Hopefully it’s only for the 4 days.”   
I just stared up at him. He had the grace to blush. I smirked. He scowled. I sighed. He ran his hand over his face. “I’ve never felt so helpless. It was worse than when you got hurt before, this was far worse. Because it was you and the babe and I could do nothing but sit and wait for them to say anything,” he whispered. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him. He pressed his face into my neck and squeezed me tight. “Don’t ever scare me like that again,” he whispered. I nodded.  

 

The next 4 days passed in a haze of naps, grumpy games of chess, reading books and moping about. Everyone tried to keep me company at some point. I was grateful for all of them, even when their unwavering support was drowning me. When the midwife declared me fit to return to “Light Inquisitorial Duties”, she gave Cullen and I firm instructions on what I was and wasn’t allowed to do. No “sexual relations” for another few weeks or so, and I was to get regular meals and exercise and not use magic unless absolutely necessary. I almost cried when I thanked her for releasing me from this stupid tower.   
I did, however, take it slow for a while. Everyone kind of walked on eggshells around me for a bit too. They wouldn’t even let me go play with the snow. It was nearly heartbreaking. Eventually we all fell into a comfortable pattern, with them all, and I do mean all of them, catering to me and driving me crazy. When the midwife finally gave me the all clear, telling me I could go back to normal everything, minus magic use, I was beyond ecstatic.   
That afternoon I decided to put my newfound freedom to use. I left the dogs out at the tavern with Varric and Krem, made my way to our room and stripped, then put on one of Cullen’s big furred cloaks, and a pair of furry boots. I walked back through the keep, across the bridge and to his office. See I had missed this part of ‘us’, the part where I could accost him anywhere, and have my way with him. Distract him from all things work, and prove how much he will always mean to me. By any means necessary. Most of the time it wound up with sex in strangely convenient places. My heart hammered in my chest as I opened his office door, found him sitting at his desk, fingers perched in front of his mouth, eyes distantly staring at whatever laid there on the desk. I quietly closed the door and locked it. As I crossed the room to one door then the other, Cullen just watched me.   
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked me quietly, sitting back in his chair. I gave a semi-dramatic sigh. “I spoke to the midwife a little while ago. She said that since I seem to be feeling in tip top shape, and I am sticking to her ‘no magic’ rule, that I no longer needed any…” I paused and looked around, “restrictions?”   
He raised an eyebrow at me. “So you think to come in here and..?”

I just nodded. He sighed. “Maybe we should be careful,” he started to say when I just looked at him. He stopped speaking. I sat on the corner of his desk and stole his pencil. “I miss you,” I said quietly. He rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair. “I miss you too, but the babe,” he said. I just shook my head.   
“The midwife says the babe is thriving, and I am feeling better than I have in weeks. Cullen..”   
He looked up at the ceiling, like he was begging for strength. My chest felt tight. “Are you really going to say ‘no’?” I asked, my voice cracking. “Love, I don’t want to hurt you..”   
I put up my hand and got up, walked back to the door to the bridge and threw it open, ignoring him calling out to me to stop me. I just kept walking, back into the keep, through the hall and up to our room, locking the door behind me. I was tired of being treated like I was broken. I was pregnant, not sick. Women went through this all the time, mages and otherwise. I went into the closet and began to re-dress. When I had another day dress on, I took a blanket and went out onto the side balcony, sat on the stone floor and wrapped myself in the blanket. I heard him pounding on the door and ignored him. I could hear him yelling at me to open the door, to let him explain. I felt a tear track down my face, dripping onto the blanket. I swiped at my cheek, hating how weak I felt. He yelled at me again, hitting the door once more.   
What could he possibly need to explain? That the one person in the entire keep I needed to not treat me like a piece of cracked glass, was doing just that? Where had the admiration for my infallible strength go? The ‘you can do anything’ speeches? I felt the babe move, and snorted at myself. I heard Cullen yell, “Damnit!” and leave and felt my stomach tense. I got up and went to the bed and laid down. Curled away from the door. Maybe I was being childish. But seriously, something had to give. Then I was crying. Damn this pregnancy and its tendency to make me _cry_ all the time. I pressed my face into the pillow and sobbed. I hadn’t cried through all of it. The staying in bed, the forced rest. The nitpicking over what I was eating, or not eating. The forced brevity around me to keep me less stressed (because carrying a magic wielding baby wasn’t stressful at all, in a body that was magically overloaded). My chest ached. After a bit I calmed some, my breath hitching.      
I just wanted to be me. Plus one. But still me.

Aurelia.

 

The door slammed against the wall and Cullen stomped into the room. “Did you seriously lock _our_ bedroom door?!” he asked me, ire evident in his tone. I sat up and looked at him. “Did you seriously expect less? I’ll never lock it again. Happy?” I snapped. He rubbed his face, irritating etched into his face. “What is going on?” he asked me. I rolled my eyes, pulled my knees up to my chest and shook my head.   
“Are you really so dense?” I whispered.   
“Dense?”

“Yes. Dense. Shall I spell it for you?”  
“There’s no need to be snide, Aurelia,” he said with a sigh.   
“Apparently there is. Do I look broken to you?”

“What? No. Of course not,” he said, surprised. I laughed, not a little bitterly, turning to look outside.   
“Are you sure? Because you all seem fairly content to be treating me as such. I am not fragile. I believe the midwife when she says I am healthy and whole. I follow her restrictions. I let you all coddle me even though it makes me want to scream. I’m not broken. But you all look at me like I am.”

“You’re pregnant,” he started to say and I laughed again, then my breath hitched. I buried my face in my arm and sighed.   
“Go away.”   
It was all I could muster.   
“What?! No!” he said. I heard him walk to the bed and sit in front of me. I refused to look up. I knew I was being petty but damn, when was enough… Enough?   
Suddenly, I was being hauled onto his lap, and even though I put up a token struggle, when he wrapped his arms around me, I couldn’t help but bury my face against his neck and try not to cry more. He just held me for a few minutes. Even just this was beyond words.   
Being pregnant made me crazy. LIterally crazy. I had no idea why I had really been mad in the first place, it’s not like he hadn’t said ‘no’ before. “Cullen?” I muttered against his skin.

“Are you going to light me on fire?” he snarked back at me. I laughed softly.   
“No. But can you listen to me?” I asked. He nodded against the top of my head.   
“I’m not broken. I feel fine. And you have to stop treating me like I’m going to break. All of you are making me crazy, and between that and the pregnancy, I have enough crazy to go around. I wouldn’t have come to you if I felt it was a danger to either me or the babe, Cullen,” I said. I continued talking before he could argue. “I need to be me for a while. Not ‘mother-to-be’ or ‘fragile’ or whatever other label they want to give me. I want to be ‘Aurelia, Cullen’s wife’ for a while. I need this.”   
“But…” he started to say but I reached up and covered his mouth.   
“Do you trust the midwife with my life?” I asked him. He nodded slowly. “Then why wouldn’t you trust her with this?”

He kissed my fingers and pulled my hand from his mouth. “Your logic needn't make that much sense, you know,” he mumbled. I just gave him a brilliant smile, and I pulled his mouth down to mine. I gently kissed him then pulled away.

“You can go back to work now, since I've taken up enough of your time,” I said, pulling out of his arms and climbing from the bed.

“What?” he asked, confused. “After all this and you dismiss me?” he sounded bewildered. I shook my head. “I'm not dismissing you, I'm giving you an out. If you still feel it's too early, I'm saying you can go back to work without feeling bad about it.”

I walked into the closet, and just fussed about for a minute. I turned around to leave and found him at the door, leaning his shoulder against the frame. “Oh! I thought…” I started to day, but he just raised an eyebrow. I blushed.

“You're really good at manipulating me, Aurelia.”

I blushed harder, “I wasn't trying to, I promise,” I said with a small smile.

“Ah but you managed to. Rather well. I'm done with work for the time being. You're stuck with me now,” he said, walking into the closet. I backed up against the wall and my heart slowed in my chest. His hands pressed up against the wall on either side of my head, his face near mine. I looked up at him.

“So you're staying then?” I whispered. He gave a slow nod. And he waited. I reached out and untucked his shirt, sliding my hands under it against his hot skin. His hands dropped to my shoulders, pushing my dress off them. It caught on my breasts and with an impatient flick, it was falling to the ground around my feet. His breath hitched when he saw me naked under. My face was crimson. He hadn't even dared look at me in weeks.   
My body kept changing on me, small subtle changes. My hips were a little rounder, my stomach a little fuller. My breasts a bit bigger, tender and sensitive but beyond responsive. My skin was paler, but somehow healthier looking. And my hair had grown even more, with the herbs the midwife was feeding me daily. My hands went to cover my chest but his hands stopped mine. He pulled my hands to his lips. “You are so damn beautiful,” he said, his voice husky and rough. I swallowed.   
“I don’t feel it. Not so much now, anyways,” I whispered. He smiled at me then, this amazing smile that made my stomach hot as he stared at me. “I’m sorry I’ve neglected you, love,” he said, his hands capturing my face. Then his lips were on mine, and all these weeks of tension and fear and need dissolved as soon as they touched me.

My hands gripped his wrists, as he held my face to his. Tongues and teeth and hot breath, he slowly and thoroughly kissed me senseless. His hands eventually left my face to slide down my neck, over my shoulders and down to my breasts. He pulled his mouth from mine, pressing his forehead against my cheek, his breath rough when he hummed appreciatively. His thumbs teased my nipples, his fingers teasing the goosebumps racing across my skin. He pressed his mouth to my neck, then my collarbone. Between my breasts, the softest of kisses. Then his tongue wrapped around my left nipple, pulling it deep into his mouth. I closed my eyes and marveled at the answering pull I felt deep in my stomach. He moved to the other breast, lavishing the same attention there. My hand threaded into his hair, my eyes closing, head falling back against the cloaks on the wall behind me.   
Soon, he was kneeling in front of me, his mouth kissing its way down my stomach. His hand lifted my right leg over his shoulder, his hand sliding up my thigh. When his fingers parted me, I shuddered against the wall. Fire. I was on fire. My stomach tensed when his finger grazed against my clit, hips twitching. His tongue, Maker that tongue, twirled and sucked, tasting and teasing me, his fingers sliding inside of me. And they moved. His tongue.. His fingers, finding a perfect rhythm that had me weak and writhing within a few short minutes. When he pushed me over the brink, I moaned as I fell into the inevitable. He held me against the wall as my hips bucked against him, his mouth never leaving my folds until I calmed, his tongue making me twitch and sigh even after the orgasm passed.   
He finally let me slide down the wall onto his lap, my legs straddling his. I kissed his neck, my hands moving to the ties on his very strained pants. When I freed his cock, he trembled under my hands as I wrapped them around him. I stroked him.. Once, and twice. His head fell back. Three times, and four.. His hips pressed against my hands. Five then six, and his hands clamped down on my wrists.   
“It’s been too long, I far too close,” he said, his voice ragged. He put his arms around me, and with a terse order to wrap my legs around him, he stood up and pressed me against the wall. I could feel the heat of his cock against my core, burning and waiting. I shifted my hips, dragging my own arousal along his, and the accompanying growl nearly killed me. I looked into his eyes, my voice low and shaking, “Please,” was all that came out. He reached below me, and with a shift of his hips, pressed his cock inside me.   
My eyes closed, my mouth opened as my head fell back against the wall. I felt.. Spectacular. That was almost too mild a word. Pleasure pulsing around inside my body, hot and slick with his cock buried deep. His lips brushed my jaw, and when I opened my eyes, he stared into them as he started to move. Hands gripping my butt, hips grinding against mine, he was relentless. Every thrust pushed me closer, my entire body on the edge. Then.. he stopped moving. His hand slipped between us, his fingers barely touching me. Soft little grazes over my clit, making me twitch against him.   
His mouth took mine then, his lips hot and greedy. This slow tangle of tongues, moving along with his fingers, drowning me in sensation after sensation.

My left hand held his face to mine, my right gripping the wrist between our bodies. My entire body was tensing, so close to bliss I could literally taste it on his tongue. When I finally came, my cry was swallowed by his mouth, his hips still thrusting, my muscles clenching over his cock again and again. He followed me soon after, hips grinding against me as his own orgasm took him. His mouth pulled from mine, and his entire body trembled, his voice low and harsh. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing close, our hearts both racing.

He carried me to the bed, his legs shaky. Laid me down gently, grabbing towels and helping me to clean up. I laid there on the bed, my skin starting to cool, ears still ringing. He sat next to me, placed his hand on my stomach. “I missed you too, if that makes any difference,” he said quietly. I nodded. We climbed into the bed, and as I was drifting off to sleep, the babe moved again. I groggily grabbed Cullen’s hand, placed it over where the movement had been and waited. When the babe pressed against his hand, I could hear his quick intake of breath. He pressed his forehead against the back of my neck, his breath hot down my back.   
“Thank you,” he whispered. I nodded, already drifting away. Hours later, I awoke to his eyes watching me. I stretched and rolled to face him, “Are you alright?” I asked him with a yawn. He nodded, pursed his lips. “Not sure why I’m awake, but you were so peaceful I had to watch you sleep,” he admitted. I smiled and snuggled closer, pressing my face against his neck.   
“You know.. We’re both awake now,” I whispered with a smile.   
“Oh, that we are. Do you have something in mind?” he asked me with a chuckle. I ran my hands down his chest and found his cock. He shuddered.

And thus, we made love again, slow and steady. His hands holding mine as he showed me just how much he had really missed me. When I fell asleep again an hour or so later, I fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep, tangled up with Cullen, sprawled across our bed. Everything was, again, as it should be.


	16. Dream a Little Dream of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurelia starts to feel the confines of Skyhold and tries to make the best of things. A surprise guest stirs up some trouble.

**Aurelia -**

 

I stood there while the seamstress measured and poked at me, tittering and blathering on and on. I sighed and did as instructed, lifting my arms and letting her do her job. Making me clothes that fit a bit better. As I was quickly outgrowing most of my clothing. And no one wanted to see me wearing Cullen's shirts all of the time. Apparently. When she finally left me in the quiet of our room, I went into the closet and changed into one of Cullen’s shirts, a pair of loose pants and some boots. Then I stole his cloak and made my way out into the garden.

I wandered around, my boots silent in the snow. The air was heavy with another impending snow storm, and I was excited. I reached out and touched a frozen branch, delighting in the little icicles that were hanging there.

It had been over a month since I had bled and scared everyone. I hadn't left the keep or used any magic at all. I was following the rules but chafing at the keep walls nonetheless. I ran a hand over my now very obvious stomach. I worried at my size, as I was still somewhat early into this adventure. Just over 4 months in if our calculations were correct. 

I had new aches introducing themselves daily, and interesting things kept happening with my magic. Things I had no real control over, and everyone at the keep were taking the said things in stride. I had never seen a bunch of people so happily wary in my life. Bull growled at anyone who gave me anything less than a friendly passing glance or greeting. Varric was goading poor Cullen into making the tower safe for tiny humans. Creating special folding gates for the balconies and the stairs, training the dogs to protect tiny packages shaped like babies. Oddly cute and charming if not a little alarming. Blackwall was making a gorgeous crib for the babe, and had plans for a special type of rocking chair.

Sera, of all people, was making baby decorations. That were poignantly beautiful. Poor Dorian. He was worried and flustered and lost but so eager to do anything and everything. He was enjoying this nearly as much as myself. I heard one of the garden doors open and smiled at Cullen when he came walking through. His face lit up when he saw me and I felt my heart do a little dance in my chest.

His hair was longer, his curls a little less tamed. He looked happy. Content. Mine. I waited for him beneath one of the glittering, frosty trees. “Are you always out here?” he teased me when he stood in front of me. I shrugged and smiled. “I can't get enough of the snow. Seriously.” 

He laughed. “Well hello then, my little fire haired snow nymph,” he said, his hand covering my cheek. His head dipped and when his lips covered mine, I felt complete.

Every time. Solid and safe. His hands grasped my face, his mouth hot on mine. I gripped his arms, letting him take me away. He showed me thoroughly, right there under the snow, his love for me and growing love for the babe. When he finally pulled his mouth from mine, his hands fell to my stomach, hot even through his cloak. “How are you feeling today?” he asked me with a grin. I gave him a rueful smile.

“We're fine, if that's what you're getting at.”

“I was asking after you, really. You looked stressed earlier.”

“Ah. Just apprehensive. Pregnancy jitters and all that. I overheard a couple of the kitchen girls,” I said as I started to move through the snow. He followed me, his hand on my back.

“And?” he urged.

“They mentioned I'm too… Showy for one babe. Or very wrong about when we managed to conceive.”

“They said what?!” he declared. I sighed. 

“What if they're right?” I asked him.

He stopped walking, his hand falling away from my cloak. 

“Are we even ready for one?” 

I shrugged. “Do we have a choice? We made a child, and Maker help me, I love whoever this is already,” I said, my hand covering my stomach. He stepped forward, his hand joining mine. 

“Let's just take this a day at a time and not borrow trouble. If there are two, we'll handle them as well as one. Or die trying,” he muttered. I laughed, and shook the tree above him, dumping snow onto his head. The shock on his face was delightful, and within seconds, we were tossing snow at one another like children, laughing and playing. Seeing him that free was amazing.

A few muted passed, us mutually declaring a ceasefire. We went inside and changed into warm dry clothes and laid on the bed to take a nap. All I could think was that I was indeed carrying two, and I couldn't decide whether to be terrified or ecstatic. 

Maker help us both.

 

Later on, I woke up alone on the bed. On my pillow was a folded note.    
  
**_Love - you were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t want to wake you. Come down for some supper once you wake up, and we can talk to the midwife and see if she agrees about the.. Thing. Yes, I am calling the entire situation a ‘thing’ because it seems less daunting that way. No matter what, we will handle this. I promise you. I love you. Wear some slippers or something. The floors are cold._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Love, as usual - your Husband_ **

 

I sighed. He wasn’t even here and he was taking care of me. I did as he asked, and slipped my feet into the furred slippers he had gotten for me a few weeks before. Then I made my way down into the hall. Everyone was sitting around and talking, eating and having a general good time. I spotted Cullen sitting by the fireplace, lost in thought. I started to walk across the hall, stopping and saying hello here and there. When I reached him, I kissed his head, startling him out of whatever had trapped his mind.   
“Ah, you woke up. Feeling better?” he asked me, gifting me with a sweet smile. I nodded and he pulled me onto his lap, hugging me close. “The midwife should be here soon,” he said in my ear. I nodded. My stomach growled and he laughed. We both got up and moved to one of the tables. Within seconds, platters of food were scattered around the table, everyone digging in with voracious appetites. I ate in silence, listening to the chatter and silly conversations going on around me. I saw my father sitting with Josephine, as smitten as she. Varric was talking to Bull and Dorian - probably more tall tales. Sera and Cole were playing cards. This.. this was family.    
Perfect in its imperfections. 

Brilliant, and emotional, and funny and sad. Take it or leave it, they were mine. We passed the evening with our family, and I retired to our room when a messenger came for Cullen. 

  
  


A bit later, I laid on the balcony, my eyes on the stars. Cullen had been called to a meeting, and I was mildly miffed at being left to my own devices after nightfall. I absently rubbed a hand over my stomach as I tried to relax. My back began to ache and I sighed before getting up and undressing to go to bed. Once I was buried beneath a mound of blankets, I fell into a light sleep. 

I woke a while later when he climbed into the bed with me. He snuggled up against my back, his arm wrapping around me to pull me close. “Go back to sleep,” he said in my ear. I just nodded and grabbed his hand before drifting away again. 

Sometime later in the night, when the fire was nearly dead, the room black, he woke me with his mouth. A talented mouth, that one. Intriguing scar, glorious full lips that knew just how to tantalize and tease. Drawing shivers and sighs, goosebumps and desire. Tongue and teeth, stealing my breath along with my soul. I reached for his hand in the dark, fingers entwining, giving me an anchor against the feelings taking me away. 

“You woke me, woman,” he said, his voice husky in my ear. 

“Oh, and how did I manage that?” I asked, shivering as his free hand caressed my breast. 

His lips tugged at my ear. “You were touching me, and stroking me. Seems you wanted what I do,” he answered with a chuckle. I shuddered as his hand swept down my stomach, between my legs. He lifted my leg, draped it over his own, before he touched me, spreading me and gathering my growing desire. 

He hummed in my ear. I could feel his cock pressing against my butt. His lips blazed a trail down my neck as he slowly worked my body into a frenzy, one finger at a time. He kept my hand prisoner with his other hand, leaving me to do nothing but feel. His mouth. His fingers. Shifting, he rubbed his cock along my arousal, making me moan into the night. 

Second later, I was smothering my cry with his arm as I crested against his hand. Throbbing and clenching, I writhed in his arms. He gave this low sound as he slid his cock inside me, inch by inch. My body clutched at his, as he started to move. Long and slow, this sensual taking that made my entire body thrum with need. The hand holding mine shifted and turned my face to his, and his lips greedily took mine. His other hand slid back down my stomach, between my legs. 

He pressed his forehead to mine, moving faster inside me, voice raspy. “I love the sounds you make.. When I'm inside you. When you cry out..” he whispered. I nodded, swallowing. My eyes found his in the dark, deep and mesmerizing. He held me there, eye to eye as he drove us ever closer to that edge of bliss.

Pressure. 

Need.

He slowed, grinding his hips against my butt, diving deeper with each thrust. “I need you to come for me,” he whispered, eyes wide. I shook my head, followed by a moan as his finger lazily rubbed at my clit. His lips a breath from mine, his chest heaving. Then.. I was lost. His mouth claimed mine as I tumbled over, body quaking and clamping down on him. His own release soon followed, hot and heavy when he spilled, his entire body trembling. He growled, pressing close, his heart racing against my shoulder.

After a few minutes, we laid there catching our breaths, still tangled together. He pressed a kiss to my neck. “Never ever gets old,” he murmured against my skin, sending fresh goosebumps racing down my body. I sighed, kissing his hand that still held mine. 

“Do we want it to?” I asked, surprising myself. He stayed silent for a minute, “No. I don't. Sometimes you hear things, that when folks get married their sex life can get dull or fizzle out. I love what we have and would hate to lose it.”

“Even once a baby is here?” I asked, almost afraid of the answer. He pulled me back onto the bed, leaning over me. “I think we'll be too tired to care for a while. And you'll need time to heal. That isn't a lull, that's living.”

I felt whatever it was in my chest loosen, that thing I didn't know I was fearing letting go. “Thank you,” I whispered, brushing the hair from his forehead. He smiled, I could barely see it but there it was. 

“Don't thank me for loving you.. I should thank you for letting me love you. That's a lot of you, isn't it?” he asked with a chuckle. I grinned, pulling his mouth down to mine, “I love you,” I said. 

His forehead against mine, “I love you more,” he replied. 

He cleaned us up, fixing the bed and climbing back in with me. I curled up against his side, my hand on his chest. The sound of his steady breathing lulled me back to sleep. 

 

I woke the next morning to the smell of coffee and chocolate. I stretched on the bed, pressing my face into Cullen’s pillow. He cleared his throat from the table. I rolled onto my back, stretching. 

“Would you stop that?” I heard from the table. I laughed, slowly climbing from the bed, leaving the sheets behind. I grabbed the long black robe I had gotten, silky and so soft to touch. I slipped it on, tying the belt above my growing stomach. I walked to the table, and Cullen pulled me into his lap before I could sit in the other chair. 

“Good morning,” I said, giving him a kiss.

“A much better greeting. Did you really smell my pillow?” he asked. I shrugged. “You smell like home. Is this an issue?” I teased. 

“I smell like home?” he mused, looking at me. I arched my eyebrow. “The only home I had was a cold mage tower. You, you're home. Doesn't matter where I am,” I said, looking down at my hands. He sighed. “I'm more than happy to be your home, if you can be mine.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder. 

“Home it is,” I agreed. We ate breakfast, me on his lap and talking about silly pointless things. 

 

Over the next few days, things we had discussed fell by the wayside, in the midst of the usual troubles still plaguing us. The season grew colder and my confinement to the keep was beginning to take a toll on my mood and my manners. Hormones probably didn't help, not a bit. 

I found myself sitting in the library, day after day, surrounded by books. Books on all subjects, most of which I had read before. Not sure what I was even looking for at this point. Answers? To what? Lingering questions about Solas? What a baby that came from my various magical issues would be like?

My third afternoon ensconced with the books, I was interrupted by a messenger. 

“Your Worship? The Ambassador has sent me to fetch you. Said there is a guest you need to see to? She seemed worried, your grace,” the young man said quietly. I sighed. He led me to the war room and bade me farewell. 

I opened the door and walked through, surprised to see only Josephine. “Aurelia, I think we have a problem.”

“That is?” I asked.

“We have word that a convoy of sorts has been spotted on the road to Skyhold. A messenger arrived with a letter for the Commander. He... Well he seemed angry, to be honest. Have you spoken to him this afternoon?”

I shook my head, this cold pit settling in my stomach. 

“Who was the letter from?” I asked.

“He only said someone from the tower,” she answered quietly. I felt like I had been hit by lightning. 

“No,” I whispered, backing away. I turned and left, hastily making my way through the keep and out to his tower, not even bothering with a cloak. I opened the door to his office, and the relief I felt at finding him at his desk nearly killed me. He was staring down at a paper on his desk.

“Cullen?” I said. 

“Hmm? Oh, you're here. Of course you're here. Are you alright?” his words were hurried. I closed the door behind me and walked to his desk. 

“Are you?” I asked. 

“I… I don't know. Honestly. The person coming to Skyhold was a young woman I knew back at Kinloch Tower. I barely remember her, to be honest. But I walked away from there broken. You've seen.”

I nodded. And waited.

“My gut says to greet her and send her on her way.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What did she mean to you? Before?”

“She meant nothing to me. I had almost no interactions with her, aside from her being a friend to the Hero of Ferelden before… Well before. I have no idea why she is coming.”

I felt a shiver of unease snake through me. “I don't like this,” I said, my hand reaching for his. He took it and kissed it gently. “Nothing to worry about, I'm sure,” he said, giving me a lopsided smile. 

**\-----**

But that feeling in my stomach. It said something was off. Not right. And sometimes, you learn the hard way that the little voice. The little feeling? It should be heeded at all costs.

**\-----**

**Two Days Later -**

 

Janae sat on the couch in the rotunda, laughing at whatever Dorian was saying to her. She had been here just shy of 2 days, and my keep was in chaos. Every little thing that could go wrong, did go wrong. And I knew the reason.

Janae Ormont. 

Her arrival had brought nothing but chaos. And I was one of the few who suspected she was not what she appeared to be. I stood on the balcony above her and listened. My hand was fisted on the railing, and even the ravens were quiet in the face of my ire. I watched her prance around the keep, and while one part of my brain was telling me I was jealous, the other did nothing but whisper  _ “dangerdangerdanger” _ .

I felt more than heard Bull step up next to the railing next to me. “Hello Bull,” I said quietly.    
“Hey, Boss,” he answered just as quietly.    
“Did you need something?” I asked.    
“Yes. We need to get rid of her. Something isn’t right. Magicky. Even Dorian has a crush on her and we both know that he typically only has eyes for you or me. And occasionally Cullen.”   
I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. “I can’t just make her leave. Much as I want to,” I muttered. He snorted.    
“I can make her leave. Just say the word and she will never bother us again,” he offered.    
I looked at him. “No killing the guests, understood?” 

“Fine. But something needs to happen. She is bad. I can feel it. And this is going to end badly if she stays much longer,” he said, straightening up to leave. I put my hand on his arm.    
“I don’t know what to do here,” I whispered. 

“Neither do I. And that’s what worries me,” he said gruffly. He left me standing there alone in the rookery, and all I wanted to do was make her leave. Immediately. I heard her and Dorian leave the tower, and so I left as well. To find Cullen.    
He was in his office, surrounded by paperwork but not actually focused on anything.    
“Cullen,” I said from the door. He jumped in his chair, scattering papers to the floor.    
“Well, hello there,” he said, a sheepish smile on his handsome face.    
“Everything alright?” I asked as I approached his desk. I had given it a lot of thought. I was going to suss out what was going on if it was the last thing I did. I pressed the air with my magic, and what came back at me smelled like death. I gagged and covered my mouth. Cullen got up and rushed to my side. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his hand on my back. I shook my head.    
“I’m fine,” I said behind my hand. I patted his hand and left the office, rushing back across the bridge. I went up to our room and locked the door, rushing to the bed to pull out the box I had stored under it. Inside said box, was a stack of books that had come from my inheritance.    
Books on weirdly dark forbidden magics, ones I hadn’t ever seen before, in either the tower or our own extensive library here at Skyhold. I pulled out one that had made me question my grandmothers sanity.    
I flipped through the pages, and found the one I had seen before.    
  


**_These are a series of spells when used in conjunction, can cause a magically induced comatose state. In which, the one controlling the spells can manipulate the mind of the comatose person into believing anything. That they have lived 3 full lives, or can fly like a dragon. The comatose person is susceptible to various forms of suggestion, and may even physically manifest what is happening in their mind._ **

**_This is dangerous, and can result in damage to the comatose person’s brain. These spells can take several days to cast correctly._ **

**_Ways to tell if these spells are being used in your vicinity._ **

**_1: The air will feel thicker._ **

**_2: The caster will seem exceedingly charismatic, as if they could do no wrong._ **

**_3: The person being bound into the spell will become agitated or paranoid before the spell is complete._ **

**_4: The smell of rotten magic will permeate the air, if one knows how to search for such things._ **

  
That cold knot in my stomach fairly exploded in my body. I dropped the book on the bed and began to pace.    
Fiona was on a trip to the College of Magi, Vivienne was back in Val Royeaux. Dorian was under her spell. 

That left me as the last mage powerful enough to fix this mess. And I was carrying.    
I went down to the main hall and asked a messenger to fetch Bull for me. Then I went back to our room and waited. A few minutes later Bull made his way up the stairs into the tower.    
“What’s going on?” he asked, wasting no time.    
“I know what she’s doing. It’s nothing good. At all.” I handed him the book and pointed to the passage. He read the passage quickly and whistled. 

“Well.. shit.”   
“Yes. Nug shit, to be more precise. This is bad. Especially since Vivienne and Fiona are gone, and Dorian is under her influence. That leaves me,” I said quietly. 

“No. You can’t do it.”    
“Yes. I have to. There is no one else here powerful enough to do anything about her. Most of the Templar’s we’ve had around have left or are no longer using lyrium, and a good chunk of our mages left for the College with Fiona. What would you suggest?” 

“Let me do something,” he said, frowning.    
“No. You can’t fight this with a battle axe or a club. This is intricate magic here, Bull. Stuff I was only starting to learn about when the Circle fell. You can’t bash this one on the head and expect it to be just fine! I have to unravel what she has done to Cullen. Or I’m going to be bringing a baby into the world without their father!” I yelled. He sat on my bed and lost himself in thought.    
“Dalish is here,” he said. I snorted.    
“Dalish refuses to use magic in the presence of us, unless she is dying. Which is unlikely as she’s wily and smart. But, I don’t think she is strong enough for this. And, I’m not going to let that stupid woman ruin what we’ve built here. He belongs to me,” I said fiercely. He nodded.    
“Well, what are we going to do?”    
I outlined my lame plan, and he agreed to get me the ingredients I would need. After he left the tower I went into the closet and changed. I grabbed some black leather pants, a loose black shirt, a dark gray vest and some boots. I pulled on a glove and went to the mirror. I braided my hair like I used to, along the side of my head.    
Inquisitor Aurelia Trevelyan.    
So the witch thinks me complacent in my home?    
Think again.    
  
When Bull returned, I gathered up my books and we made our way to the basement library. I had gotten some of the Mages to help me clean it up before they left, and now it was a little place of power. Just what I needed. Bull left my things on the desk and went to check on everyone. I started laying out the ingredients and preparing myself. I dug out a couple more books to help me. One was an old elven tome, and another from Tevinter.    
I sat on the floor, cradling my stomach and saying a silent prayer that if the Maker really was up there, to help me save my whole family. 

Bull came back in with a wild look on his face. “You need to come with me,” he said. I felt my blood stop in my veins.    
“No,” I whispered. He shook his head and held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me off of the floor.    
“I’m sorry,” he said, and we left the room. I locked it behind me, then warded the door. My magic felt sluggish but amazing to be used again. He led me back up to my tower, and there laid Cullen on the bed, pale and quiet. He looked to be sleeping. I put a hand to my mouth and approached the bed.    
“I brought him straight up here, then came for you. I haven’t even told the healers. He’s alive, but not responding to anything.”   
I nodded. I had feared this would happen. I took his hand and lifted it to my lips. I leaned down and pressed my mouth to his forehead. Whispered in his ear, “I will bring you back, no matter the cost.”

Bull growled. “You will not die doing this, Inquisitor. I won’t let you,” he said. I nodded and stood. “Get one of your men, have them stand guard. Then come with me. We have work to do.” I turned and left the tower, resolve strengthening my steps. I bottled everything else down. The panic. The terror. The need to flee.    
When I got back to the little library, I unwarded the door and let myself inside. I prepared the spell, mixing and pouring magic into the bowl. Then.. I waited. When Bull finally arrived, he questioned nothing. I gave him exceedingly precise instructions. How to wake me once I was under, what herbs to use to keep me alive. And gave him three vials of Lyrium to use on me if he needed to mute my magic. I cleared off the desk and removed my vest, climbing up and laying on the vest. I closed my eyes, drank the potion and said the words to the spell. 

 

_ And I woke up in the fade. I climbed off of the desk and made my way through the keep. My hand glowed an eerie green, and I felt indescribably more powerful here. When I entered my tower, I could feel the dark magics she had used. Cullen laid on the bed, just as he had in the waking world. Serene, pale. Breathing, but barely. I laid on the bed next to him, taking his hand again. I positioned his palm on my stomach, over the babe. Then I said more words… _

 

**_And stepped into his mind. I magically cloaked myself, making sure no one could see me. He sat in the garden of his childhood home, reading a book. I stood watching him for a time. When a woman came walking out of the house. Janae._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“Hello, love.” She spoke to him, and his face lit up when he saw her, the same way it does with me._ ** **_  
_ ** ****_“Oh! You’re home! I missed you,” he said, getting up and pulling her into his arms. I felt the urge to throw up, barely suppressing it. She kissed him, an almost feral kiss that reminded me of the whore house in Ostwick._

**_“Darling, are you excited?” she asked him._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“To be marrying the most beautiful woman in all of Ferelden?” he teased her. I closed my eyes, feeling my heart tighten in my chest._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“Aye! And don’t you forget it!” she said, taking his arm and leading him into the house. I followed them, and when she left him alone in the foyer, I took advantage. I uncloaked myself, and knocked on the door like I was a guest._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“Who is it?” he called out. I pushed the door open and the delighted confusion on his face almost broke me._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“Do I know you?” he asked, his face a mask of… pained confusion?_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_“Yes, Cullen. You do.” I walked towards him._

**_“How do I know you? I would think I would remember someone like you in my life,” he said._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I held out my hand. He looked at it, and fear colored his eyes for a moment._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“Do you trust me?” I asked quietly. He reluctantly nodded._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“I.. I do. Why do I trust you?” he whispered._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“Because you are mine, Cullen Stanton Rutherford.” I took his hand, placed it on my stomach._ ** **_  
_ ** ****_“Oh. Oh Maker. Are you pregnant?” he asked. I nodded, feeling a tear streak down my face._

**_The babe kicked then, miracle of miracles._ ** **_  
_ ** **_This ripping sound echoed through the room. He cried out, gripping his head and falling to his knees._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“Aurelia?” he whispered from the floor._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I knelt next to him, “Yes.”_ ** **_  
_ ** **_“What… what’s happened?” he whispered. I sighed._ ** **_  
_ ** **_“Janae cast a very powerful spell on you. I’m in the process of breaking it. But I need your help,” I answered._ ** **_  
_ ** **_He grabbed my hands. “Anything.”_ ** **_  
_ ** **_“Play along with her. She.. she thinks you believe she is your betrothed. To be married soon from the sound of things. I am almost ready to break the hold she has on you, but I need a little more time. She needs to believe you still think she is yours.”_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_He wrinkled his face. “Alright. I guess. This is very odd. How did we get here?”_

**_“You are in your mind. This is all built from your memories. She.. has put you into a magic sleep. Please, I need time,” I whispered. He nodded, then he kissed me quickly and left the room._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I waited a moment and then followed, though I went outside. I needed to find the boundaries of his memory. I wandered around, and when I felt the vibration in the air that signified the edge of the spell, I knelt and drew some runes into the dirt. The ground shook beneath me as the rune took hold. I made my way around the entire outside of the spell laying rune after rune. When I finally laid the last one, a scream echoed from the house. The air turned an ugly red and then…_ **

 

_ I was back in the tower bedroom in the fade. Cullen was still unconscious, but he was no longer deathly pale and his breathing was steadier. I knelt next to him and held my hands above his body, before speaking some of the last of the words I had memorized for this. He awoke with a yell, his entire body jerking up and almost falling off of the bed.  _ _   
_ _ Before I could even react, he grabbed me and crushed me against his chest.  _ _   
_ __ “I will never discount your feeling again,” he muttered into my hair. I kissed him and laid my hand on his head. 

 

And I woke on the desk in the basement. I gasped, and my hand hurt fiercely. I sat up and Bull helped me climb down. I used him to steady myself, then made him take me to the tower. As the door opened to the bedroom, Cullen was running down the stairs. He scooped me up and hugged me tight. “I have no idea what happened but you saved me. Again!” he said, and I barely contained the tears.    
“Cullen put me down,” I said after a minute. He set me down, looking at me oddly.    
“What are you up to?” he asked. 

“I need you to trust me again.” 

“Always.”

“I know where she is, and I have to end this now. There is no one else,” I whispered. He shook his head.    
“You have to trust me, Cullen,” I said, putting my hand on his face. His lips trembled. “I can’t lose you,” he whispered.    
“You won’t,” I said, hoping it was true. 

He kissed me then. Swooping in and stealing my lips, a promise if there ever was one. I pulled away a moment later, and left them standing on the landing. I walked through the main hall, out the big doors. Down to the upper courtyard, and to the door to the dungeon. I heard them following me, and had to appreciate them letting me go. I quietly walked down the flights of stairs, and into the broken rooms beyond the cells.    
“Hello, Janae,” I said quietly. She jumped up from her spot on the floor. The men he had standing guard fell when I waved my hand towards them. Neither got back up.    
“Do you know what you’ve done?” I asked her. She shook her head, “You don’t understand! I was sent here to do this!” she cried out. I just tsked at her.    
“You know what? After the last two years, nothing I hear any more really surprises me. But you made a massive mistake, young mage,” I said stepping towards her. All that.. Rage and fear finally finding a focus.    
“You tried to come into my home. And break my family. Orders or no, you made a mistake. I’m not a simpering child,” I said, starting to circle her. “I, well I am the Herald of Andraste. The Inquisitor. And you, child, are not going home.” I shot out my hand and with a touch, she collapsed.    
I reigned in the power, and with a breath I leaned over her, my hand above her head. I cast the last spell I had memorized. One that altered memories. I felt the magic swirl in the air, and with a whoosh and a few little sparks, her body shifted on the ground and it was done.    
I stood up and swayed. Cullen ran into the room. “What did you do?” he asked, grabbing for me as I swayed again.    
“I made sure she can’t ever do this again,” I said before falling unconscious in his arms.    
  
I woke up in our bedroom, on the bed. I sat up and felt my body, everything and everyone was where it was supposed to be. Cullen sat in the chair at the end of the bed, asleep. I took a breath and swung my legs from the bed, I was surprised to find myself in a nightgown. I looked outside, finding it completely dark. I stood up and slowly walked to Cullen. I put my hand on his arm, and he jumped when he woke.    
“Maker, you’re awake!” he said, wonder making his voice all the more lovely. He pulled me onto his lap, his arms trapping me there. 

“I was worried about you,” he said. I nodded.    
“How do you think I felt?”

“Probably worse. And for that, I’m so sorry,” he whispered. I shook my head.    
“You didn’t know. Not really. None of us did. I’m sorry I had to use magic,” I whispered back.    
He shook his head. “You did the right thing. Let’s just hope there are no dire consequences.”    
I nodded. He kissed me, soft and sweet.    
“I … It’s hard to remember what happened when you found me inside my head.”   
“To be expected. The effects of the spell will eventually wear off, and you won’t remember any of it before long. Which is a mercy. I, however, will remember forever.”   
“Tell me.”   
I thought about it.    
“You loved her. Or you thought you did. You were betrothed and she was so beautiful. It hurt watching that, you kissing her like you do me.”   
“I’m..” he started to say but I covered his lips with my hand.    
“You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do this. She did. And now it’s over.”   
“I regret that it hurt you.”   
“I know. So do I. But I will live.  _ We _ will live,” I took his hand and placed it on my stomach. The babe kicked again, and he nearly cried when he felt the tiny movements.    
  
We were alright. The woman was sent to Therinfal, where the Seekers were rebuilding. She would be imprisoned, her magic muted for good, without the use of tranquility. Things went back to normal after a day or two. Dorian going out of his way to make up for his misstep with the mage, he was doing his best to prove his devotion to Bull. Who let him, because when one gets that many sweet things from their love, who stops that?   
I was tired for several days, but so far there were no adverse effects from me using the magic. Though I was certain of one thing, I was carrying two children, not just one. And I knew just the way to tell Cullen. The Winter Solstice was coming up, and it would be our first.    
Life was good. Even in the hard moments, I had so much to be thankful for.    
Cullen and love and being alive. Surrounded by family and friends, having a real purpose in life. This was really living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We can say that the Christmas chapter I wrote is the next installment, in which Aurelia tells Cullen about the babes.  
> One Winters Night


	17. One Winter's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the stand alone ficlet - One Winter's Day. I am adding it here, because it fits with the storyline and reveals important things :D   
> \---  
> Aurelia is apprehensive about their first Satinalia celebration. Things are quiet in Skyhold, and she wants it to be special. For several reasons.

I had ordered my throne removed from the main hall. Josephine was aghast, Varric was thrilled. Cullen was on the fence, because on the one hand, he didn’t have to move it, but on the other, where would his pregnant wife hold court?

I was overseeing the decorating of the keep for Satinalia. I rubbed a hand over my stomach, excitement thrumming through my body. Cullen was out on maneuvers today, training a new group of recruits. And since I was keep-bound, this was an excellent way to pass my time. Better than worrying.

Varric called out from the main doors, “Inquisitor! The tree is here!”

I squealed and walked to the door, watching the 8 men carry the massive tree up the stairs. I led them through the hall to the dais. There was already a stand up there, 6 massive planks of wood all notched together with a hole in the center, filled with pegs to hold the tree up. It was really an ingenious design, and one I hoped would work well. The tree was at least 50 hands high, and full and lush. The heady scent of the pine was amazing. Last year we hadn’t had much of a mind to celebrate, as we had been in the thick of the war. But this year? Things were peaceful for the time being, and this was the perfect place to hold the celebration.   
My father was still here, and Cassandra was coming back to visit for a few days, and I had managed to gather everyone inside one keep again. This was going to be a Satinalia to remember.

**_____**

 

“This is a DISASTER!” I hissed at Varric. He just coughed and looked away from me. I smacked his shoulder, “This is your fault, you know! YOU wanted to surprise Cassandra, and now I have three HUNDRED books sitting around my keep! Varric!” I yelled as he tried to hastily exit the rotunda. He stopped, hunching his shoulders, “The publisher may have read my letter wrong, Inquisitor. I asked for thirty books, not three hundred. And keep your voice down, I don’t want all of Ferelden hearing about this.”   
I glared at him, then at the stacked crates filling the rotunda. “Fix this, Varric,” I said, before turning on my heel and slowly leaving the tower. I walked to the tree, sighing as I took it all in, trying to calm myself. We had decorated it with ribbons and strings of beads, bunches of twigs and magically preserved flowers. Tied bows to branch ends, and hung decorative glass balls all over it. At the top was an enchanted star that glowed a gorgeous blue. All in all, it was my first real winter solstice celebration, and I was excited. I had gotten a few gifts for Cullen, surprises I hoped he would enjoy thoroughly. I had even had special things brought in for all of my family, that family I had grown to love so very much.   
A box of sweet syrups for Dorian and Bull, along with a box of sweet cakes for Bull and an official recording of the his family tree and mine, to where they converge for Dorian. He had been fascinated when we had learned we were related. I had gotten Varric a deck of cards with Bianca painted on the backs. And apparently storage space for 300 books. I had gotten Cassandra all of Varric’s books, first editions, and had made him sit there signing them all for her. For Leliana, I got a nug statue commissioned. Made to look like her precious Schmooples.   
Josephine was getting a fancy Orlesian satin house robe, complete with slippers. It was exquisite, and the rusty golden color was perfect for her beautiful skin tone. I had a new hat made for Cole, with little protection runes etched into the brim. Vivienne was getting an ancient magical staff I had found in a little shop in Val Royeaux. It was gorgeous and persnickety, but I had a feeling she would love it. Blackwall was getting a horn made from a dragon’s horn. Inlaid with the Grey Warden oath. He had decided to join the Grey Wardens to atone for his actions. I could do no more than support him as he had us.   
For Sera, it was harder to figure her out than most. She baked already excellent cookies. And she had been sneaking off with Dagna for weeks. And so I had a special bow made for her. One that she could use her tempest concoctions with.

And Cullen. What did you get for a man who had nearly everything?   
He had a home, a giant drafty one filled with an odd mixture of people.

He had a job, still commanding my forces.

He had friends, a whole slew of them thanks to the Inquisition and insistent people.

His family was back in his life, thanks to an insistent wife.   
He was going to be a father. A brilliant and great father. Full of love and a quiet dignity.

He was an amazing husband. Attentive and passionate and loving and kind.   
He had 2 dogs that thought the world of him. We had 2 dogs. But they loved him as much as myself.

He had an arsenal within arms reach at any given time, state of the art armor, and an endless supply of clothes thanks to the ever gracious Josephine.

So what was left?   
Me. And what… Rather the “who” I carried.

I took a breath and looked around the hall. People were busy decorating and cleaning and in general enjoying themselves. The constant drone of voices and noises was reassuring. I went up to our room and retrieved the box I had hidden away in the bottom drawer of my desk. Inside said box was a stack of letters. Inside each letter was some mushy thing. I took them down to Leliana, who gave instructions to each of her scouts that she had gathered for me.   
I went back to our room and changed into the winter dress the ladies had helped me pick out for our celebrations. A light silvery blue, with white and silver accents and ribbons, that draped gracefully over my stomach and kept me warm in the winter cold. I pulled on the gray furred boots, and after braiding half of my hair, I pulled on the white and silver furred cloak they had insisted I get myself. I grabbed my warm gloves and left the tower. I was just making my way out the front door when Cullen and his troops returned. He sent them off to change and rest, and when he spotted me up on the stairs, his entire face lit up. His cheeks were red from the cold, and there was frost on his cloak, but he looked entirely happy.   
He traipsed up the stairs, stopping a couple below me, keeping his lovely face even with mine. “Well, hello,” he said with a grin. I smiled back, “Hello yourself, Commander,” I replied. I leaned forward and kissed him softly. “I have something for you,” I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside. The doors opened as we approached, and a hush fell over the hall. I heard his breath hitch when he saw the hall, “Maker, how did you manage this in a few short hours?” he said under his breath. I laughed. I pulled him further into the hall, and walking backwards, watched his face as he tried to take it all in. The ribbons and candles, the berries and bows. “This is beautiful,” he said, his eyes falling back to me. I gave him a brilliant smile, pulling him the last few feet to the tree. On a branch right in front of his face, was a bright white envelope with his name on it. He raised an eyebrow as he reached out to pluck it from the tree. He flipped it open and started to read.

“Do you remember the day we met? The world was in chaos, terror ripe in the air. And there you stood outside the temple. This breath of fresh air, confident and strong, you were there helping your men defend against an open rift. And when I first saw your face, I didn’t see the same stressed horror on everyone else’s face, I saw quiet resolve. You were there, no matter the consequences.   
‘Maker watch over you - for all our sakes,’ that’s what you said to me as you turned to leave and help an injured comrade off the field. The first truly kind words I had heard in a long time. From a man who was obviously a Templar, former or otherwise. Right there, on that ravaged mountainside, I started to see with new eyes.   
I have left a trail of letters for you. In the various places of significance throughout our relationship. In order to appease the Spymaster, I will remain at the keep, safe and sound.

Your next stop is where we had our first real conversation in Skyhold.

Be safe, love,

Aurelia” 

His voice trailed off as he finished reading. “What are you on about?” he asked me quietly. I stepped close to him, refastening his cloak and pulling his hood up.   
“Play along, you’ll see,” I answered, pulling him down for another kiss. When I pulled away, his eyebrow arched but he gave me a small salute before marching from the hall. I followed at my own pace, and when I exited the doors, he stood at the bottom of the courtyard, a scout handing him another envelope.   
I could almost hear it as he read silently.

  
“Ah, here you stood. In all your awkward brilliance, thrilled we were alive, pleased I had come to see you. Deigned to speak to you.   
Herald of Andraste.

Newly appointed Inquisitor Trevelyan.

Worrying about her Commander and how she was glad he had survived. The relief on your face was confusing. As were the butterflies that had taken up residence in my stomach every time you were near me. That quiet finality in your voice as you stated you would not allow what happened at Haven to happen again.   
And I knew, somewhere deep inside me, you were talking about me staying behind, not the attack from Corypheus.

Another link in the chain that bound me to you, inextricably.   
Perfectly.

Remember the stairs?”

 

He looked up at me then, walking back up the courtyard steps and slowly approaching me. He took my hand and pulled me along through the hall to the door that led to Josephine’s office. He opened it and pulled me down the stairs as he approached the envelope propped against the wall at the bottom. Picking it up, he began to read, aloud again

 

“I really thought I had killed you, when I found you laying at the bottom of the stairs in a heap of fur and leather. No sounds, no angry growls. Just a lump of Commander Cullen laying on the floor. When you moved, I almost died from the relief. And when you put your hand on my arm, allowing me to heal the wounds I had accidentally inflicted, I was lost to you.   
I saw things buried in your mind you didn’t even know were there. But on top of it all, I saw _you_. A brave and honorable man, who had faced countless obstacles and hardships in his short life, and overcome them with remarkable aplomb. That was far more intimate than I had intended, and I felt like I had stolen something from you. And you were barely the wiser for it. I lost a bit of myself that day, and found it when you followed me onto the ramparts.

Remember where?”

He looked at me then and without a word, grabbed my hand and led me back up the stairs and to the garden, up those stairs and out onto the battlements where he kissed me that first time. Before he picked up the envelope that was stuck between a couple bricks on the wall he pulled me close. “You've been busy,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. I nodded against his chest, revelling in the feel of his heartbeat beneath my ear. I looked up, “Read the next?” I asked. He nodded, but didn't move yet. He put a warm hand on my cheek and kissed me with a knowing smile.

He kept one arm around me while the other retrieved the envelope. He opened it behind my back and began to read.

“I was terrified that first time you kissed me. Elated, filled with wonder and sure the universe was playing some cruel joke on me. My life had never been full of the good and kind things and there you were, wrapped around me and kissing me like your very soul depended on the feel of me against you.” I could hear his heart speed up.

“You held me close, and your lips seared a path straight into my soul. That night? I became yours. No doubt in my mind. Or any other part of me. The relief in your eyes when the others saw us was as great as mine. There under the stars, you claimed me. As much as I did you.”

His voice faded and his arms tightened around me.

“You slay me,” he whispered. I just nodded. He continued reading.

“Later when you took me to bed, It all felt so right. Perfect in its simplicity, you made me whole. Remember where I first told you I loved you?”

He pulled away and kissed my forehead. We marched back through the keep and upstairs. On the balcony was a single small table, and an envelope on top of it. He kissed my hand then picked it up.

“We were standing on the balcony, barely wrapped in a blanket as you took me against the wall. The freedom of that act was mind boggling. I had never considered such things, sex on balconies, in stairwells, on quiet dark roofs. And we have done them all and more. But there on that balcony, my back against the wall, you deep inside me as I told you I loved you, you returning the same, was a moment I will never ever forget.” He stopped reading, his breath heavy as his dilated eyes looked at my face. I have him a brilliant smile and poked the paper.

He shook his head and read on. “Falling asleep that night felt different. New and bright and hopeful. Even in the midst of all the chaos, I had found myself the best anchor possible. Dorian awaits you in the courtyard. You're going to take a short trip to the next place. The last moment together before our world's forever changed, the Arbor Wilds. Trust me,” his voice was rough when he stopped reading.

“Really, you're making me leave after.. After that?”

“I asked you to trust me.”

“You know I do,” he mumbled.

“Then go to Dorian and see what is what.” He reluctantly nodded, and we walked back down to the hall. I sat at a decorated table as he went outside. I heard the whoosh of the magic and waited.

 

**Cullen -**

 

When the magic deposited them on the path leading into the now abandoned Temple to Mythal, Dorian handed him another envelope.

Cullen read it in silence.

“You stood there, resplendent in your armor, breath ragged and heavy. I walked by you, us both knowing full well that if I had stayed, spoken, you would have stopped me. I slipped into the temple and our world's changed forever. When I emerged I had the knowledge of the Well, ancient whispers that never really cease. You were so unsure of the ‘me' that ventured out of that mirror back at Skyhold. And when the voices gave me the power to fix your nightmares?

It was like a new lease on your life, and you chose to spend it with me. You'll never be fully aware of how much that still thrills me, to this day.

Forever, right?

Dorian has something else for you, love.”

He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Dorian?” he asked. Dorian grinned and handed him a box. He unlatched the top and opened it. Inside was a bright gold key.

“What is this?” he mused.

“Well we have to go back to Skyhold to find out!” Dorian answered with a grin. He held out his hand and took Cullen's arm, and in a flash of purple smoke they were back in the main hall of Skyhold. Cullen shook his head trying to clear the magic. He looked around and found Aurelia standing by the door leading up to their room. She had taken off her cloak and the dress she was wearing took his breath away.

“Inquisitor,” he murmured as he approached her. She blushed and held out her hand.

 

**Aurelia -**

 

I held my breath as I led him up through the tower. At the top of the stairs to our room I handed him the second to last envelope. He sighed and opened it.

“Corypheus had been defeated. Solas had left. But we had won. For now. You made love to me on the balcony in our room, and it was there that I resolved that forever wasn't long enough. We made plans. For a future we hadn't much looked forward to. But now? We had all the time in the world. We created a life together. Outside the doom and gloom of constant war. Maybe we created more..”

He looked up at me. Confusion in his lovely eyes. I led him to the door for the room we had built for the babe. He held up the key and I nodded. He unlocked the door and it swung open silently.

He stopped in the doorway. “Why are there two cribs?” he asked, his voice low.

I whispered behind him, “You know how we talked of the possibility that I was carrying two?” I asked. He nodded, barely.

“The mage midwife confirmed it a couple days ago. Though I had already asked Blackwall to make a second crib just in case. Are you alright?” I asked, reaching out to him. His face was a mask of shock and fear mingling with something more.

“She's sure?” he asked. I nodded, nearly afraid of his reaction. He yelled and scooped me off the floor, swinging me around in the air.

“I never thought to even have one, Aurelia, let alone two! At once! Oh, Maker, we have no idea what we're doing!” his voice fell to a whisper with the last as he set me back onto the floor.

“Of course we do. We're not stupid people, Cullen. You command armies and well, I command you. That sounded so much better in my head. I'm ruining this,” I said, the words just tumbling out of my mouth. He shook his head, trapping my face in his hands.

“Two babies? Maker, this is beyond amazing,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. I nodded, my hands holding his wrists.

“Do we have this, Cullen?”

“We, with the help of our big and well read family, most definitely have this, Aurelia,” he answered with a grin. I smiled then.

He kissed me then, this beautiful kiss that held a wealth of meaning. Promises and hope.

“This has been the best Satinalia ever, love,” he whispered against my lips. I nodded, and with another grin he drew me back into the bedroom, where he showed me how much he really enjoyed his day.

Twice.

A while later, we joined the celebration in the main hall. Story telling, eating a veritable feast and exchanging presents. Everyone staying up late, talking and laughing. Eventually a scout came into the keep, yelling for everyone to go see. 

We all went outside to find the night sky lit by brilliant purple and blue winter lights, swirling across the night. 

Cullen wrapped his arms around me, warning me as we all took in the rare sight. 

"Are you happy?" he asked softly, his breath hot in my ear. I nodded.

"I don't know if I could be happier," I answered honestly. He chuckled. "I have something for you," he said then. His hand appeared in front of me, a gold box in his palm. I took it and opened it. Inside was a ring with 3 keys on it. I looked up at him. 

"What's this?" I asked. 

"The keys to a manor house on some property the queen has bestowed upon us for helping her in Denerim. There are at least six bedrooms, and a large plot of land. It's ours when the time comes."

I turned in his arms. "A home?" I asked. He nodded. 

"You have me a home, the least I could do was return the favor," he murmured. I smiled. 

"Thank you," I said, before kissing him. 

A home for a home.

2 babes and a future full of uncertainty and promises. 

And love. 

Satinalia miracles.


	18. And Forever More...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things change rapidly for the happy couple, as their lives are irrevocably altered.

**A Month Later - In The Garden -**

 

I sat in the gazebo, surrounded by people I loved and cherished. This was a party if sorts to celebrate the babies, and I was being showered with gifts I neither craved nor really deserved. But there we were, laughing and enjoying the moment. Cullen sat next to me, his face flushed with joy, taking the teasing and such in stride. Jokes about “Oh, you're  _ twice _ the man the rest of them are, managing to make two at once!” and so on. Little did he know, I fully agreed. 

Hours later, after everyone had retired and Cullen had helped me climb our tower stairs, we laid in the bed with our hands on my stomach as it moved and writhed.

“You know, it's eerie to watch, but at the same time it's utterly fascinating,” he mumbled into the dark. I laughed softly. 

“I'll miss this, I think,” I said with a smile. 

“Aye, so will I. But I will be glad to be having my wife back,” he said into my hair. We had decided to forgo any more sexual relations after the last time, seeing as it had started birthing spasms to an alarming degree. I sighed into the night. 

“Does it help that I miss you too?” I said softly. 

He kissed my head. “Yes. And no.” I closed my eyes and snuggled close to him, falling asleep safe in his arms.

 

The next week passed in a haze of fluffy boredom. It was getting more and more difficult to leave the tower, as the babes grew by leaps and bounds. I ached in all new ways and slept far more than any normal person should. Dorian spent as much time as possible with me, his fascination and trepidation barely eclipsed by my own. This was new for both of us and we were learning as we went. Fiona had come back, as had Vivienne. Between the 3 of them and the strong healer midwife we had on hand, I was fairly confident we would make it through the birthing alive. 

My dreams were becoming increasingly more vivid and intense, making sleeping at night less and less restful. I was about 6 weeks shy of reaching the end of my pregnancy. And both the midwife and some of the Skyhold staff had informed me that pregnancies with more than one child tend to go early. And so I was worrying quietly about that while everyone was readying themselves for the arrival of two tiny new humans. 

Cullen would spend hours sitting with me, reading children's stories to my stomach and mulling over baby names. We had lists and lists. Piles upon piles of clothes and blankets and cloths for cleaning their tiny faces. 

I didn't tell them how afraid I was. My magic was far more unstable than I was used to, and the mark was getting progressively more painful, even without using it for so long. 

**\---**

I woke up to a shuffling noise, and upon gingerly stretching I found Cullen bearing a tray of food. He favored me with a smile when he saw me awake. “Hello, love,” he greeted, depositing the tray on the table and coming to the bed. He helped me sit up, kissing me softly when I stood and moved into his arms. “Someday I will get to hug just you again,” he teased when I moved toward the table. He rushed ahead and held the chair as I slowly lowered myself into it. I took a breath, rubbing my hand over my belly.

“You alright?” he asked me before stuffing half a roll in his mouth. I raised an eyebrow. “I'm just sore. And tired. I think my ribs are receding into my lungs. Then there's..” I paused. Might as well?

“Then there's my hand,” I said quietly, tearing at my own roll. He stopped chewing. 

“It hurts. Up past my elbow,” I muttered. He squinted. “Why didn't you tell me?” he asked, brushing hair from my face. I shrugged, capturing his hand with my own. “Because we have enough to worry about,” I said truthfully. He sighed, kissing my hand. We set about eating our meal and when we finished he had the big bathing tub hauled out for me, filling it with hot water. Once I was settled in the water he sat next to the tub, looking at my left hand. 

“It looks different,” he said with a frown. I nodded. “It's a different kind of hurt too,” I said. He looked at me. “What do you think it means?” he asked. I shrugged, “I don't know. It feels like the mark is spreading almost. Like the power from the magic there is crawling up my arm at a super slow pace. It's not constant but it's irritating.”

He ran a hand through his hair, making it stand every which way. “That's not so very reassuring, you know,” he said. I laughed softly. “What is, these days?” I teased. 

He helped me wash and scrub my hair, helped me from the tub. Dried me off and helped me back onto the bed. I was yawning and fading fast. I tried to stay awake as he had the tub emptied and removed, dousing the lights and disrobing to join me in bed. 

 

**5 Months Ago -**

 

_ I sat on our bed, waiting for him to come back from his meeting. I had given up reading long before now, and just really wanted him to come to bed. We had spent the day teasing each other. A touch here, stolen kiss there. We had spent quite a few minutes stealing more than kisses before duties pulled us away.  _

_ This whole ‘going to be a mother’ thing was daunting, but the rise in my sexual appetite - which was apparently normal - was something neither of us could complain about. I laid back on the bed, wearing only a robe, my hair loose and damp from my bath. My entire body thrummed with anticipation, as barely an hour ago Cullen had nearly gotten to take me against his office door.  _

_ Again. _

_ A while later, hands tugging at my robe woke me. I smiled up at his wry look. I caressed his face. “I missed you,” I told him with a sigh. He untied the robe and didn't speak, lifting me naked from the robe and placing me up on the pillows. Moments later the room was dark and he was climbing into the bed with me. He laid against my side and I pulled him on top of me. _

_ “You were asleep minutes ago,” he said. I shook my head, “I've been waiting for you forever,” I said softly. He smiled and kissed me. My fingers dove into his hair, his hand drawing my thigh up, settling his hips between my legs. I relished the heat, the need I would never ever give up.  _

_ He kissed me, drowning me in sensation. His rough skin against my face. Fingers leading goosebumps down my body. His heart racing with mine. The heat of his cock against my thigh. The passion rolling off of him. The tenderness with which he turned me into my stomach, kissing my neck, my shoulder. His gentle hand on my leg, drawing it up, his fingers spreading and teasing my already aroused self.  _

_ The rough sound he made when he finally pressed his cock inside me, hips flush with my butt, his lips trembling against my shoulder. Ah and the bliss when he finally moved. His need to be touching as much of me as possible as he drove us steadily into the wild. His hand gripped my own, our fingers digging into the bed. He slid his other hand under me, down my stomach to find my clit.  _

_ His breath in my ear as he sent me into oblivion. My cry was hoarse as I finally crested, riding the pleasure and sending him into his own. When we finally laid there, spent and sated, he gave a low chuckle, kissing my shoulder. “That was amazingly intense.” _

_ Understatement, love, vastly. _

 

I woke up with a start, the gently morning light barely peeking through the curtains. I laid there a minute, my hand on my stomach, listening to his even reassuring breaths. I sighed and gingerly sat up, before standing and walking to the basin on the dresser. I splashed some cool water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was still mostly contained in the braid I had put it into last night. My eyes were bright and my skin all soft and glowy almost. 

My breasts were noticeably larger, and my stomach far bigger than I'd like it to be, but nowhere near as big as the kitchen lady who had had twins the year before. I took a breath. 

Water trickled down my legs. I looked down, wondering if I had spilled the basin without noticing. But my nightgown was dry. I stared at that little puddle of water. I was missing something. Suddenly my entire stomach seized and I knew what was going on. I tried to call out to Cullen - tell him they were coming, but instead I just started to fall. A shattering sound had him sitting up in shock, and his finding me kneeling on the floor galvanized him into action. He hurried from the bed, scooping me off the floor and laying me on the bed.

Next thing I remember, there are people rushing about the room preparing for the babes. 

I gasped when a pain ripped through me, rolling onto my side to bury my face in the bed. Soon enough Cullen was back at my side, holding me as each pain took me further and further. 

 

**\---**

 

**Cullen sat with Aurelia, his mind nearly numb with equal parts fear and elation. Dorian sat on Aurelias’s other side, dispelling her magic as much as possible to keep everyone safe. Vivienne and Fiona worked tirelessly with the midwife, as the minutes bled into hours. The pains grew stronger, and Aurelia began to falter. She could feel the pull of the magic, like sludge in her veins.**

**Sixteen hours in, she delivered a tiny little boy, pink and quiet, so very aware from his first breath in the outside world. Bright red hair just like his mother. Not half an hour later, his little white haired sister joined him, screaming so very loudly.**

**As the women cleaned the babies off, Aurelia started to fade out of consciousness. She was bleeding heavily and the panic in the air thickened.**

**Vivienne and Fiona were trying to stop the bleeding, and Dorian has never felt so useless.**

 

**\---**

 

_ I laid there, still clutching at the two closest people in my life. The first who had offered me completely unbiased friendship, love and respect. The second, who had shown me that love wasn't supposed to be comfortable or easy. I could feel my body weakening, and I had no willpower left to stop it.  _

 

_ “ _ **_Aurelia_ ** _?” I heard.  _

_ I turned my head and saw … Solas? _

_ “ _ **_Aurelia, it is not your time_ ** _.”  _

_ “ _ **_How are you here_ ** _?” I asked.  _

_ “ _ **_You know we both have unique connections to the fade. You need to draw on your magic, friend, because if you do not, you will die and your children will be motherless the same way you were_ ** _ ,” he said, walking towards the bed. I looked around, how could no one else see him?! _

_ “ _ **_Solas, I'm so tired_ ** _ ,” I said softly, feeling the pull of sleep.  _

_ “ _ **_I know. You've lived so much in so little time. But you have so much to live for, so much to learn. And so much love to give. Aurelia, wake up_ ** _!”  _

 

I sat up with a gasp, my hands splayed in the air as I drew on my magic and when I released it my body thrummed with power. I glowed, and everyone stared at me in silence as the power faded. I laid back on the bed, Cullen hovering over my face, tears of joy coursing down his cheeks.

“Love, you... Shit. You died!” he whispered fiercely, clutching at me. I felt my own tears, as I smoothed his hair from his face with a trembling hand. 

“I felt it. I was so tired, I'm so sorry,” I sobbed quietly. 

“How did you do that?” Dorian demanded, his face white and fatigued. 

“Solas,” I said, trying to sit up. Everyone in the room stilled.

“So… Solas?” he asked, doubt obvious. 

“Do you take me for stupid suddenly, Dorian?” I snapped. 

“No..”

“Solas was here. In the fade. When I started to go.” I twitched when I heard one of the babes cry, and when the Midwife brought me the little wrapped bundle I started to cry again. 

“Meet your son,” she said gently. I ran my finger over his tiny cheek. He stretched, and his tiny little hand shook as it reached out. I stuck my finger in his hand, and it gripped me tightly. Tried to wipe away my tears but nothing would stem the tide. The midwife brought over the other, so quiet this one. 

“And your daughter,” she said, placing her in my other arm. Oh this one was the spitting image of her father. White hair, his brow. Cullen traced his thumb over her forehead. 

“Look at what we did,” he said, wonder making his face all the more lovely. 

“I almost didn't believe it, Cullen,” I whispered. He gave a low chuckle, swiping at his face. He kissed my head, “Maker, you had me so scared,” he whispered in my hair. I shut my eyes for a moment. When I opened them he was staring at me. 

“Don't ever try and leave me that way again,” he said fiercely. I nodded. “I promise,” I said softly. 

 

**After much discussion, they named their son Dorian Pater Rutherford. Their daughter was named Idaliah Solara Rutherford. Yes.. She named her daughter after Solas, who once again even from far away, saved her life.**

**Cullen took to fatherhood like a fish to water, helping at all hours of the day and night, handing over some of his less important duties so he could be available to be the father he had always dreamt of being.**

**Aurelia blossomed under the new mantle she had undertaken. Motherhood suited her as much as Inquisitor did, and she juggled her duties with the babes with seeming ease. It wasn't as easy as it looked, we all know that. But she seemed to thrive under the pressure and so did the babes.**

**Even though they were more than a month early, and both of them were under 5 pounds at birth, they flourished. They never liked being apart for long, and shared a crib more often than not. They entranced everyone at the keep, from Dorian to Varric and Bull. At birth neither showed an aptitude for magic, which was surprising given their stay in their mother.**

 

**3 Months Later -**

 

I sat in the rocking chair that Blackwall had made for me. I had just laid Liah back down, and was feeding her brother. It was well after midnight, and Cullen was back asleep after changing both of them. He laid there, his longer hair all tousled from sleep. Or lack thereof? The last few nights had been trying. Lady and Fen were sleeping by the cribs, their new self-appointed guard positions. 

I sighed as Little Dorian finally fell asleep, his suckling slowing as his body finally succumbed to blissful slumber. I carefully got up, keeping him attached to me as I slowly made my way to their crib. His body twitched as I pulled him away from me and settled him into the bed with his sister. 

I watched in awe as they curled towards each other as soon as I laid him down. Little foreheads touching, blonde wispy hair mixing with the riot of red curls. I felt my heart stutter a little. I straightened my nightgown, gave the dogs each an ear scratch and went to the dresser, flexing my left hand again and again.

The pain would come and go. But we had concocted an ointment that definitely helped. It probably wouldn't forever but it kept my hand from interfering with day to day life with the babies and being Inquisitor. I slathered some of it into my arm and hand, thoroughly rubbing it in. I was yawning by the time I finished. I climbed back into bed and was asleep within seconds, wrapped in Cullen's arm.

 

The next few days passed in a haze of sleep deprivation and shortening tempers. 

Until the 3rd night when I was ready to cry in frustration. Cullen had been called out and I was alone with them. And they were worked up over something, and nothing I had tried was working to soothe them. I had laid Liah in her crib, and Dorian in his. I was pacing the room, wracking my brain for  _ anything _ . When there was sudden silence, I turned back and stared in shock at both of them in the same crib, laying against each other and ignoring me completely. 

I felt ice in my veins. 

I approached the crib and picked up Liah, laying her in the middle of my bed. 

The air shimmered around her and then she appeared in the bed with Dorian. I shook my head. 

 

It was going to be a long.. Forever. 

 

**6 Months Later -**

 

I had the babies with me in the garden. Blackwall and Cullen had made a make-shift baby fence circle, under which was a fluffy soft blanket that they laid on and played. Fen laid on one side of the fence circle, and Lady on the other.  The men had erected a canopy of sorts to keep the majority of the sun off of the sensitive baby skin. 

Both of the babies were learning how to crawl. Right now it was still awkward scooting, but I had a feeling they’d be crawling before the week was over. 

Liah spotted me sitting in the gazebo and gave me a screechy happy cry, shaking with glee. Her white hair had barely darkened in the last few months, and her blue eyes had slowly changed to a dark honey color. Dorian rolled into his sister, and they both laid there grinning at me, mouths all gummy and cheeks all flushed. I went over to the little fence, took off my boots and climbed inside with them. Within a moment or two I had a lap full of baby. Or two. 

Liah on one leg, Dorian on the other. He had my hair wrapped around his wrist, the color barely darker than his own mahogany curls. Idaliah gripped my shirt, trying to pull herself higher. 

“Well you two need to stop growing,” I murmured with a smile. I was rewarded with giggles. I started to sing one of the silly songs one of the kitchen ladies had taught me, tickling toes and bellies as I sang. They were laughing so hard they shook me. I laughed with them, pulling them down to the blanket with me. 

“What is going on out here?” came an imperious voice. I shushed the babies, “Daddy is jealous he missed the tickles,” I whispered to them, theatrically tickling them more. Cullen grinned down at us, a carefree look if there ever was one. 

“Ah of course I'm jealous. Maker, Aurelia. Every time I look at you with them it's like you claim a little more of me,” he said softly. I looked up at him, arms full of baby, my hair a mess and in at least one of their mouths. I was fairly sure I had more drool on my shirt than was recommended and to be honest? I felt more loved then than ever before. He took off his boots and climbed into the play area too. He helped me sit up and sat in front of me, stealing a happy baby girl. 

“And who is this ravishing beauty?” he cooed to her, brushing her wispy curls from her face. She grabbed his finger and stuck it straight into her mouth. He gave me a grin and poked Dorian gently in the nose. He was rewarded with a sneeze for all his efforts.

“I meant it, you know,” he said, catching my eye. I shrugged a shoulder. “Not entirely sure why, it's not like I am even remotely as put together as before they were born.” I waved him off. He grabbed for my hand, drawing it to his lips. 

“You have a new shine to you. Even with broken sleep and your duties and everything else you deal with, you look so very vibrant. It's breathtaking. And humbling.”

I could feel the blush on my chest. “You just say that to get my spectacular cuddles,” I deflected, teasing Dorian with another lock of my hair.

“While, admittedly, those skills are unquestionably amazing, those are not what I aim for these days.”

I raised my eyebrows. We had been intimate.. Less times than I had fingers on one hand since the bleeding had stopped. I couldn't even explain it well. My body still felt very foreign to me, my hips still wider, my breasts ridiculously larger. My stomach was still soft with a smattering of new pink scars. “And what do you aim for?” I asked quietly.

“You. Any and all of  _ you _ .”

I sighed. The man had a way with words.

 

Later that night, when the tiny humans were finally deep asleep in the same crib again, dogs on guard, I laid in our big bed alone. I was wearing one of Cullen’s shirts, like back before the babes. I curled on my side, trying to quell the butterflies in my stomach. 

I missed him. I missed the ease with which we would just fall into each other before. How a look or a touch could change everything and the next thing we knew there would be desk sex and zero shame involved. I missed how confident I had felt, how he had taught me that my skin was a wonderful place to be. I hated feeling like I was lost inside myself. And I wanted my husband back. My best friend and lover. 

I fell asleep a little after the babies had, spread across the bed waiting for him. When the bed dipped under his weight some time later, I woke up enough to smile at him. “I miss you,” I said, my voice husky. I shook my head. 

“I miss  _ you _ .”

He nodded, but before I could try my hand at seducing him, he presented me with a little purple jar. I raised my eyebrow. 

“Don't look at me like that. I notice you avoid.. You avoid your stomach. And while I don't mind your new body and all it means, I know that you do. And the midwife gave me this. It's an ointment for the scars. She said it will help lighten their color and help them fade some.”

I took the jar and looked up at him. Then I sat up and threw my arms around him. I couldn't even vocally express how this made me feel, not really. He hugged me tight. 

“I really just wish you happy,” he said, his face against my neck. I nodded, amazed that something so little.. Could mean so much. A moment later, I climbed from the bed and set the jar on the nightstand. I walked back to him, stepping between his legs. I unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it from his shoulders. Silence reigned, a pulsing silence full of anticipation and contentment. I ran my fingers over his chest, down to his hands resting on his thighs. I pulled him up, before I helped him remove his pants and boots. Then he was scooping me off the floor and carrying me to the soft carpet by the fire. He lifted the shirt I had purloined over my head, bunching it up to lay my head on. 

Goosebumps scattered across my skin as he just looks at me in the soft firelight. “This?” he pressed warm fingers to my hip. “This means that you brought life into the world. You carried not one, but two, babes at once and gave them a life.”

His fingers raised to my breast. “This means you still give them the nourishment they need. Like the wonderful mother you are,” he murmured. His hand splayed over the scars on my stomach. 

“These? These mean that you gave me the greatest gift I've ever received, beyond your love.” His words were whispered, reverent and split my heart in two. I brushed a tear from my face and he gave me the most beautiful smile. 

“Never doubt that you will remain the most amazing person to love and be loved by,” he said, fingers tugging on a lock of my hair. I nodded, speechless for once. Then his lips were on mine and I forgot the world outside of feeling  _ him.  _

Everywhere. His hands caressing me ever so gently, my breast. My side. His tongue teasing mine, slow and intoxicating. His hips settling on mine, arousal to arousal. His heat permeating me soul deep. 

This.. This was love.

His hand dove into my hair as he deepened the kiss. His hips shifted, drawing his cock along my folds, making me writhe in return. Ah, Maker but he was magnificent. His head lifted, gold eyes on my face as he shifted my leg, then slid his cock inside me. I moaned softly, body awash in shivers as he filled me so very perfectly. Hot steel, taking my breath away. He began to move, pressing his forehead to mine. Eyes on my face, one hand gripping mine. The other beneath us, on my butt as he pressed close and closer still. 

I met him thrust for thrust. Heartbeat for heartbeat. I felt so very alive, hearing the blood roar in my ears, the pleasure building as our bodies merged, again. My skin tingled, my heart racing. The look in his eyes nearly killed me, as he slowed his pace and fed us both exquisite torture. 

“Never doubt my very real need for you,” he whispered slowly, his hand sliding out from under me to smooth hair away from my face, his eyes everywhere. I nodded, drawing his mouth back to mine with a contented sigh. An agonizing and tantalizing kiss, this one. Teeth and tongue, breath and need. His mouth stealing my cry as I finally fell into the pleasure. Arching beneath him, my body dissolved into tremors. He followed soon after, my own release breaking his control. His hips ground into me as he sought his own.    
  
Later on, we laid sprawled across the bed, his head on my stomach. My hand in his hair, the other entwined with his.    
“Josephine got a letter from Val Royeaux today, love,” he said quietly. I waited.    
“It doesn’t look good. Seems that some ruling parties are against a massive military force on their borders. An  _ unnecessary _ military force, seeing as we pretty much destroyed the red templars and so on.”   
I felt a tinge of dread. “And.. so it begins?” I said. 

“Looks like it. We knew it could happen,” he reminded me. Not that he needed to. Leliana had spies everywhere and we had known it was coming for a while.    
“How long?”   
“It could be months,” he said with a shrug. He leaned up on his elbow, looking at my face. “Are you alright?” he asked me. I shrugged.    
“I don’t even know. It’s tiring, juggling the babies and being the Inquisitor. But.. it’s also exhilarating. We’ve done so much good, Cullen. Helped countless people, and even though that small part of my heart feels that no amount of good can wash me clean, I feel like we have to keep trying. Does that make sense?” I whispered the last. He nodded, giving me a smile.    
“You are the perfect optimist. We can fight this if you so wish.”   
I pondered that. Would keeping my title and home be worth taking on 2 other nations? 

“Let’s just see what is what. I’m not going to borrow trouble if I don’t have to.”   
He nodded then. We moved to go to sleep, my arm thrown over his side, my face buried against his back. “Aurelia?” 

“Cullen?” I said drowsily.    


“I love you,” he said with a yawn. I smiled against his back.    


“No more than I love you,” I replied as I drifted away. 

 

**3 Months Later -**

 

I woke with a gasp, pain shooting up my arm waking me from a dead sleep. I climbed from the bed and went out onto the balcony, clutching my wrist and willing the sharp stabbing pain to at least ebb a little. I slid to the floor of the balcony, trying not to cry as the pain worsened. My hand looked sick, my entire body felt it. This was becoming a near nightly ritual. Pain that was now a constant. Even the ointment we had concocted didn’t help much anymore. I heard the faint cry of Idaliah, and the sound of Cullen getting up to get her. 

I felt my heart break a little in that moment. What if we couldn’t stop what was happening with the mark? Would I see them walk? I pressed a hand to my mouth and stared out into the night and tried not to give in to that ever present worry.    
The twins had been crawling for a couple of months now, and both were so close to walking on their own. Little Dorian was showing a proclivity for his left hand, his sister her right. They loved the stars and rain storms. They could spend hours listening to anyone read to them, content to listen to everything. They seemed to have their own way of communicating, and the fascination with which they explored Skyhold every day was awe invoking. I wiped a tear from my cheek.    
I had read the missive today.    
The Exalted Council had been officially called. I was to be in Halamshiral in 6 weeks time. To defend my still existing military organization. Justify its necessity, or to be forced to disband it.

I gasped when a sharper pain gripped my arm, a sick glow eking from my skin. A hand on my shoulder made me jump. 

“Love, what are you doing out here?!” Cullen asked me with a frown. I shook my head and tried to shoo him away. But he saw my hand and was immediately on the floor next to me. “It’s getting worse, isn’t it?” he asked. I nodded, and looked at him, heartbroken.    
“Ah, love, no,” it sounded more like a plea than a reassurance, his arms wrapping around me as I started to cry in earnest. My face pressed to his chest, my hand between us, I felt like I was already losing the battle and I didn’t have any answers anymore.    
  


**Aurelia left for Halamshiral with an entourage that would rival royalty.  The babies and their nannies traveled with their parents. Cullen and Aurelia were nothing but worried, though they hid it well when amongst their friends. The trip took a couple of weeks with the number of people that were traveling with them, and when they arrived in Halamshiral, Mother Giselle greeted them warmly. She showed them to a manor house that Josephine had insisted on the Inquisitor being able to use during her stay, especially as she had a family to tend to.**

**At first things were as they expected. Pandering to the King and Queen of Thedas, the Empress of Orlais. Nobles and peasants alike. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on what the Inquisition should or should not be.**

**Orlais wanted to ally with us.**

**Ferelden wanted to dismantle us.**

**And Aurelia just wanted to go home.**

**\--**

**_“Will you marry me?” he had asked me under the light of that bright Orlais sun, petting a poor dog that had been abandoned in the castle. They had become fast friends, and even Fen and Lady had taken a liking to the newcomer. I stared down at Cullen._ **

**_“What?” I asked, nearly confused._ **

**_“We… We talked about a marriage ceremony with all of our friends and family present. Things got so busy with the babies and life.. It fell by the wayside and I'm sorry for that. But now? They're all here, and this may be.. May be our last opportunity to share this with them.”_ **

**_I had felt two things in that moment._ **

**_First? That I was beyond lucky to have found a man who could think of something so simple and beautiful in this awful time._ **

**_Second? That if I had said no, our lives would be irrevocably worse for the lack of something so profound._ **

**_The next day we had stood in front of that gorgeous little gazebo, the babies and our friends, Fen and Lady at our sides. There were tears, many happy tears. Cheering and kissing. Good natured teasing and what felt like the last moment I might have them all together with me._ **

**_\--_ **

**As the days bled into weeks, weeks that faded into months, things began to become heated. Arguments and accusations.**

**Dead Qunari spies in the castle. Trips into the crossroads that surprised Aurelia at every turn. As things became more perilous, the more Aurelia’s problem with the mark showed itself. She was in a near frantic state of worry that somehow, between the ancient elves, Solas and the Qunari, her children would grow up motherless and the love of her life would never really know how much she truly loved him.**

 

_ I sat on the bed, listening to the 3 of them sleep. The babes in their shared crib and Cullen behind me. For weeks now, I hadn't been able to sleep more than a few hours at a time without the incessant pain waking me. I put on a brave face for our children, but Cullen knew. He knew about the nightmares and the pain and .. Everything. He saw through my charade with ease and let me have my delusion that all would be fine. We had made love, on this my last night in the castle.  _

_ I was leaving to find Solas in the morning. And if the pain that I was cursing constantly was any measure, I probably wouldn't be coming back. I felt my heart skip about in my chest. Maker only knew what would happen - if anyone did. I loathed them all.  _

_ Corypheus. _

_ The Red Templars. _

_ Samson. _

_ Florianne. _

_ That snivelling jackass, Arl Teagan. _

_ The whole lot of them. Had I not given them enough of me? Because while all of those simpering nobility sat on their asses, I was having to walk into yet another vipers nest and put my life on the line. _

_ Again.  _

_ For a bunch of ungrateful children. _

_ Solas was Fen’Harel. _

_ The Qunari were sure I was working for him.  _ _   
_ _ And I was so over all of the death and destruction that had followed me here, of all places.  _

_   
_ _ I heard one of the babes make a noise. I went to the crib and found Dorian watching me through the railing. I went and gave him a smile, and he smiled back, so quiet. I picked him up and he immediately snuggled close, his hand over my heart and his head tucked into my neck. I hummed a song as I stood there, rocking him in my arms. He gripped the top of my nightshirt and started to fade away in my arms as I held him.  _ _   
_ _ I laid him back down a few minutes later, and he immediately turned to his sister when his head hit the mattress. I wiped a tear from my face, I would miss so much if things didn’t go as planned. At least they would have Cullen. I turned to look at him, to find him watching me in silence. His eyes were dark and guarded, his hand in a fist on the bed.  _ _   
_ _ His hair was longer still, curling and unruly after our hours of lovemaking. His face scratchy and his lips curving when he found me looking.  _ _   
_ _ “I’ll never get over seeing you with them,” he said softly. I shrugged a shoulder and walked back to the bed. I sat next to him, brushing a curl from his forehead.  _ _   
_ _ “If I don’t..” I started to say, and he tried to hush me with a quick head shake. I put my hand over his mouth.  _ _   
_ _ “I have to say this. You know I love you. More than anyone. The children too. You know I will fight my hardest to come home. Every breath will be fought to come back to you. And them. But if by some cruel turn of fate, I don’t come back, you need to take the babes and go home. Go to your family and love them and give them people to love. They’re young and resilient, but you, my love, are not. You’ll need them to help you heal.” _ _   
_ _ I brought his hand up to my face.  _ _   
_ _ “I plan to come home. Fervently. Because I have so much to live for. I am just so damn tired, Cullen. I never stop hurting anymore and I don’t know how I will stay sane with this pain.” _ _   
_ _ He nodded, sitting up and pulling me into his arms.  _ _   
_ _ “You will come home. That’s more than an order. That is a really strong request from someone who loves you more than he loves himself. You will come home. And you will raise our children with me. That part is an order. Because I am terrified of raising a daughter without you.” He muttered the last and I smothered a laugh against his chest.  _ _   
_ _ “I need you to come home, Aurelia. Nothing more than you coming home.” _ _   
_ _ I nodded, looking up at him. He kissed me softly before laying me back on the bed and making love to me again.  _ _   
_ _ A beautiful reminder of why I needed to come home.  _ _   
_ __   
**The next morning, after Aurelia refused to say farewell, and an explosive conversation with her advisors, she left through the mirror once more. More useless violence, the Viddasala trying to turn Bull against her and failing, freeing a dragon and swearing to save Solas from the Qunari. They followed the Qunari through one more enormous Eluvian, and they were in another part of the Elven crossroads.**

**By this point, the mark on Aurelia’s hand was far far more unstable, needing her to release the buildup of power every little bit or it would harm everyone around her. She was a one woman force of destruction at that point. Decimating enemies with a single blast from the anchor.** **  
** **They fought through wave after wave of Qunari, and the final battle with the massive Saarebas, Saarath, really took it out of her, however. Aurelia was fairly close to done. Dorian was trying his best to heal her but she was just.. Furious and done. She left him tending to Bull and the others, taking off through the last Eluvian after Solas and the Viddasala.** **  
** **  
** **She walked through and found.. A still eerie silence. The horde of Qunari that she had been chasing were.. A morbid stone army. She could hear the Viddasala yelling in the distance, and with her teeth gritted, and a hand on her left shoulder, she wound her way through the statues. She was just catching up to the Viddasala when she saw the Qunari woman go on the attack. Then a flash of light and ..**

**Stone Viddasala.**

**She gasped, stumbling and terrified.**

**Then she saw** **_him._ **

**Solas.**

**Wearing armor that reeked of royalty. She could feel the power in him now, massive and strong.**

**This was no mere mage anymore.**

 

**He caught her as she fell, did** **_something_ ** **that caused the pain to stop.**

**Told her his story, about Mythal, Fen’Harel, the Evanuris and how things had come to pass. He apologized for his part in things, leading Coryoheus to the orb and more.**

**And then he told her of his plans. To fix the mistake he had made millenia ago, by taking down the veil. She pleaded, and begged him not to do this. Offered to show him a world worth saving.**

**He told her he looked forward to that, with a sad smile.**

**Then she screamed as her pain came back. She gripped her arm, falling back to the ground.**

**Solas approached her, apologizing again before a flash of something in his eyes made her unconscious.**

 

**She felt herself being carried, and the magic of the Eluvian. Heard yells as she was laid on the ground, heard Solas giving orders to get her back to the castle quickly. Then she was gone again.**

 

**Days Later -**

 

I awoke in a bed, covered in sweat and a new kind of pain I had never experienced before. Cullen appeared at my side, the worry and strain on his face a surprise. 

“Maker, you're awake,” he declared, his hand on my face.

I tried to speak but terror gripped my throat. 

“Don't. Don't move. There.. There’s much to talk about. Let me get the others,” he said, jumping up from the bed and leaving the small room. Moments later he reappeared with a couple of the Mage healers, Dorian and Fiona. 

Cullen sat next to me again, shushing me when I tried to speak again.

“Inquisitor. We are so glad you’ve awoken. We were worried about you. It's… Well it's been a crazy couple of days, your worship,” the one healer said, her hand on my head. 

Dorian sat next to me and heaved a sigh.

“Solas brought you back through the mirror, Auri. He laid you on the ground, bleeding and dying. Your.. Your arm is gone Aurelia. Solas took it to save your life. The anchor was far too unstable and he said you would have dissolved had he not. We've worked endlessly to save and heal you.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “You nearly died a few times. Your magic is… Different now. We can't mute it the way we used to.”

I stared at him, then at Cullen. I looked down and barely stifled the gasp when I saw what was left of my arm. I laid my head back down and closed my eyes. 

It was gone. The mark, the cursed anchor was finally, irrevocably gone. I could feel the tears on my face, and the relief flooding me was intense to say the least. 

I reached for Cullen with the hand I had left, and he gripped it tight. 

“If I find Solas,” he growled but I shook my head, struggling to sit up. 

I looked at the healers. “Bring the Divine, Lady Leliana and Lady Josephine. Get Varric and Bull, then leave us.”

The Inquisitor was back and she was serious. They moved to comply and I told Cullen to wait until everyone was there. He helped me sit up. Gave me some water. And impatiently waited until everyone was there. Leliana set a guard on the door and I asked Dorian to ward the room. 

“We have a problem. A couple of them.” 

Bull snorted from his spot against the wall. I told them about Solas and what had transpired. His future plans. Cullen was furious. Until I explained that had Solas not done what he did, I would surely have died.

Again. 

And so we planned. In secret. 

 

A week later I was well enough to attend to the council. I had Cullen help me dress, a stark black uniform with the sleeve pinned up to emphasize my new lack of arm. 

I marched into the council chambers, carrying the writ from Divine Justinia. 

I didn't let any of them speak. I dropped the writ onto the table I had sat at countless times. “This? This is the writ form Divine Justinia. She authorized the formation of the Inquisition. And with the help of Lady Leliana and now Divine Victoria, we formed the only organization in Thedas that could have stopped Corypheus. I closed countless rifts. We saved countless lives. We fought our way across the continent and saved you all not once, or twice. But THREE times now! That wasn't some move for selfish gain. We aren't some conquering army out to take your lands. Have I threatened any one of you?” I asked, pointedly looking at every one of them up there on the dais. 

None answered. 

“You all make it sound like I have been just marching across the continent and taking it over. But I'm not.  _ We're _ not. We've been nothing but helpful. However, things have changed. I've got a family, a husband. Friends and responsibilities. And now no more anchor.”

A flurry of voices raised as I revealed all that. 

I waited in silence, raising my hand and getting instant quiet. 

“I've given everything to the saving of Thedas. Including literal pieces of myself. Now, I'll give the Inquisition to the Divine. We'll be a peacekeeping force, under her directive.”

Shouts and cheering filled the room. I held up my hand again. 

“However. I am keeping Skyhold. The bulk of our manpower will be dispersed under the Divines instruction, but the keep? It's the least you can all give me for the lives you get to live free of the Red Templars and the Qun. This is not up for debate,” I said with steel in my voice. 

Cassandra stood, resplendent in her white robes. “And so it will be! I welcome you and your people into my care, Inquisitor Trevelyan. It will be an honor to work alongside you, once again.”

And so it was. I turned on my heel and left the room, sweating and tired. Cullen was right outside the door.

“You know how to make an exit,” he teased as he took me in his arms. 

“Will they let us be?” he asked quietly. I nodded.

“For now,” I answered softly. 

 

**2 Months Later -**

 

**They watched the last of the recruits leaving the keep from up by the Hall doors.**

**Dorian was back in Tevinter.**

**Bull was roaming with the Chargers, waiting for word from his Kadan.**

**Varric was in Kirkwall, running the city.**

**Josephine was in Antiva, Pater Trevelyan helping her fix her family’s shipping business.**

**Leliana was in Val Royeaux with the Divine, though she could be summoned at a moment's notice with a device Dagna had invented.**

**Blackwall was with the remaining Wardens.**

**Sera was off exploring with Dagna, looking for rare enchanting materials. She had grand plans for a magic arm for the Inquisitor.**

**Cole and Meryden were traveling together, helping people the best way they knew how.**

**Vivienne was the new Grand Enchanter of the reformed Circles. Which were now neither mandatory nor a prison.**

 

**All had gone their separate ways, with one major difference.**

**Dagna had created a series of communication crystals, that kept them all in contact.**

**Because, even though the Inquisition was no longer an official military force, they still had a job to do. Fully sanctioned by the Divine herself - finding and stopping Solas.**

**Preferably in a good, non-lethal way.**

 

 **As for Cullen and Aurelia, they flourished in the keep. They had enough staff on hand to keep things in top shape. The children both showed a strong preference for magic, much stronger than anything they had anticipated. The Well told Aurelia in those quiet nights that she was raising the keys to the future. Her children not only had inherited her own magic, but some from the Well and some from the Mark. They were strong, and smart and would someday be the point that would tip the balance in their favor.** **  
** **They would set Thedas on its ears.** **  
****  
****It had taken Aurelia time to become accustomed to having only one arm, with her and Cullen having to relearn their parenting strategies. But they adapted and they were stronger than ever. And in the deep dark of the nights, they would spend hours talking. Making love. Learning each other all over again. Away from emergencies, trauma and life ending catastrophes.** **  
** **Eventually they would learn of Solas and his plans, and in the meantime they grew and raised their children with love and deep respect for their powers. Idaliah grew into a precocious blonde haired little waif, with her fathers sense of humor and honor, and her mothers complete lack of grace. Little Dorian became not so little, looked exactly like his mother but had the temperament of his father. He learned swordplay alongside magic and regular schooling, as did his sister, so they could be everything they were meant to be.** **  
** **But that?** **  
** **That’s a story for another time!**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I'm ending things here for the time being. Life has stretched me a little thin, and I'd rather give them an end that I can live with until DA4 happens.   
> However, as this is probably one of the best and longest things I've written, and I can see how much I've grown as a writer and a person.   
> This was my first trip into FanFiction and it's been beyond memorable. I'm still writing, and all my other fics will still get attention. But I feel that Aurelia and Cullen have earned their happy ending.   
> I will, of course, revisit them with ficlets and one shots, because I can't stay away from them. Their love is inspiring and yes.. I know they aren't *real* but does that really matter? They helped me grow and I will be forever grateful for them 


End file.
